He laughs out loud and it’s a beautiful noise.
“Oh, no ma’am, I don’t think so! I love you, mostest!”
“Okay, that doesn’t even count because mostest isn’t a word!” I laugh. “So, I win!”
“No, I win!” he growls.
I laugh harder as he flips me over and starts to tickle me. I try to get away and I accidently bang my head on the wooden headboard that’s screwed to the wall. He stops tickling me and rubs my head sweetly.
He leans down and kisses my head. I turn my head a bit giving him a quick kiss. He kisses me back harder and soon we’re kissing like never before.
His hands delve into my hair as he pulls my lips closer against his. I feel his body weight get heavier as he moves on top of me. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pull him closer. I can feel myself losing control. With a sudden burst of strength, I flip him over and straddle him.
“Oh God, Mage,” he looks up at me in awe.
Leaning down, I start kissing his neck and I don’t stop. This is what I want. Adam’s been making me crazy with his kisses for months and now all that matters is that I have him.
He grabs my hips, pulling me down onto him harder. He grinds against me, making me wish that clothing never existed. He groans against my mouth and it travels down my spine then taps against my tailbone. I shiver.
“I want you,” I say against his lips.
“Not as bad as I want you,” he groans.
I reach down for the button of his camo shorts. Then it all stops.
His hands grasp the top of my arms as he starts to push me away.
“Mage…we need to stop.”
“Why?” I whine in his ear as I continue to nuzzle and kiss.
“We can’t…not like this,” he whispers.
He’s fighting himself. I can see the strain in his face.
“Is there something wrong with me?”
My chest feels heavy with hurt and embarrassment from his rejection.
He reaches up and pushes his hands into my hair forcing me to look at him.
“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect—you’re more perfect than perfect. You have no idea,” he sighs. “Trust me when I say that stopping this is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. There’s nothing I’d rather do than make love to you right now. It’s just not right, Mage. Not like this, when it happens I want us to both be ready and I don’t want it to be in some sleazy motel room in Jersey.”
How did I get so lucky? He wants our first time to be perfect because he thinks I’m perfect. He’s probably the only teenage boy in the world who would turn down sex.
I lean down, giving him a quick smooch before I snuggle up to him.
“I really do love you,” I nuzzle his stubbly chin.
“I love you…more than you could ever know. Goodnight.”
He reaches over and turns off the bedside lamp. He falls asleep in no time. I’m awake since my brain won’t stop. I can’t stop thinking about what’s going to happen tomorrow. I’m finally going to meet my mother. I’ll finally have the answers I’ve wanted for so long.
After lying there for a while, I decide to get up and walk outside for some fresh air. I stand there in the doorway of the motel room staring around at this place called New Jersey. I walk outside and lean against Adam’s old truck. Running my fingers across the hood, I realize just how rusty the truck is. He loves this truck and I love him.
He deserves everything he wants and more. I can make this old rust bucket everything he could ever dream of.
I slowly walk around his truck and begin imagining what Adam wants it to look like. I look around to make sure that no one’s watching. It’s two in the morning—everyone’s asleep.
Purple flames drip from my fingers in very small amounts, it’s just enough to connect with the cold rust of the truck. I run the fire across different parts of the vehicle and watch as the rust dissolves and a brand new black paint job appears.
An hour later, I stand against the doorway and look over my new project. The old Ford looks brand new—not a speck of rust had survived my fire.
I close the door and get in bed. I’m asleep in no time.
Chapter 25
A Strait Jacket and a Smile
I wake the following morning with Adam jumping all over the bed and kissing me all over my cheeks and nose.
“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” he chants.
I giggle at him as I climb out of the bed and go straight for the bathroom. It feels good to make him happy, so from now on I’ll always try to make him happy.
The ride to Trenton Psych takes less than ten minutes. My nerves are out of control. I can’t believe that this is actually about to happen. When we pull into the parking lot I start to feel a little sick to my stomach—nerves. We walk inside the old creepy building, the door squeaks as it closes behind us.
Adam holds my hand the whole time.
There’s a little old lady manning the front desk. She’s at least seventy-years-old with a hairy mole on her chin.
“What can I do for you?” she asks.
Her thick Jersey accent makes me smile. She’ll probably think I’m some old country bumpkin with southern twang.
“Yes ma’am, I’m looking for a Rose McPherson.”
Her eyes get large, her shock evident. She flips through the big book in front of her.
“She hasn’t had a visitor in many years. May I ask who you are?”
My heart stutters—she’s still alive!
“I’m her daughter.”
Again the old lady’s eyes get big.
“I can’t believe it. You were just a precious little baby the last time I saw you. You’ve grown. What am I saying? That’s what babies do,” she gets up and comes from around the desk. “Follow me.”
We follow her to the elevator of the old building. She presses the number five and the elevator jerks and screeches as it moves up and closer to my mother.
I swallow hard in an attempt to move the lump in my throat. This is really happening! We get off of the elevator and slowly walk down a long dark colored hallway.
The lady stops in front of room five-eleven. She knocks then swings the door open. I squeeze Adam’s hand as I stand just outside the door. The old lady walks in like she owns the place.
“What is it?” a female voice calls from inside the room.
“You have a visitor, Rose,” the old woman replies.
“That’s impossible,” the unseen lady says.
Her voice is soft and musical—motherly.
The old woman turns to me and waves me into the room.
“Come on in, hon.”
My feet feel as if they’ve grown to the floor. No matter how badly I want them to move, they won’t. Adam tugs on my hand and I allow him to pull me into my mother’s room.
The room smells like a closed up attic. There’s a simple bed with a blue blanket strung across it and a dresser with random pictures of my grandparents and a small infant that I assume is me. There’s also a picture of me from when I was three-years-old. I have black pig-tails and a baby-blue dress on. Cute lacey socks and glossy, black shoes cover my tiny feet. It was my grandmother’s favorite picture of me.
My eyes water with tears. Just seeing the picture there and knowing that she’s possibly thought about me over the years does me in.
I turn around the small room until I’m face-to-face with my mother. She looks like me, only older. Long, black hair is tied in a messy bun at her neck. Her comfy blue t-shirt and jeans aren’t the crazy-woman-hospital-gown I expected to see. But her eyes, they’re the reason I know I’m a part of her. Blue on blue, she stares back in shock.
I’ve played this moment in my head many times over the years. I’ve imagined what it would be like to meet her. In my imaginings, she’d throw her arms around me and tell me that she wished she could’ve been there with me.
That’s not what’s happening. Instead, she just stares at me. At least
in reality her eyes aren’t gray. In reality her eyes are the same ice blue as mine—icy and strange.
I can’t speak, instead I give her what I know is an awkward smile. I feel Adam squeeze my hand. The little old lady excuses herself and shuts the door behind her on the way out. The small room is too quite, pin drop quiet. I open my mouth to speak, but before I can say anything my mother speaks first.
“You shouldn’t have come here!” she says between her teeth.
She’s angry? She’s mad because I came to see her? In all the years that I’ve imagined meeting my mother for the first time, not once in any of my dreams did she ever say anything so rude to me.
I feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach and all the oxygen has been knocked from my lungs. This isn’t right at all. This isn’t what I imagined. I imagined her hugging me and smoothing down my hair. I imagined happy tears not an angry woman yelling at me.
“What?” my eyes sting with tears.
“It’s not safe, Mage! You shouldn’t have come here.”
“Not safe?” I choke. My anger and embarrassment grows. “You have no idea what I’ve been through the last couple months of my life!” I finally find my voice.
I can feel my fury building. All these years! After all that I’ve been through! And all she can worry about is her safety?
A rumble of thunder sounds in the far away distance. A tear rolls down my cheek and lightning flashes through the window.
“Calm down, Mage. Come on, let’s go,” Adam whispers.
“No! I came here for answers and I will get them,” thunder rings out again.
A sudden smile spreads across my mother’s face.
“Impressive, Mage—can you do more than effect the weather?”
“I can do whatever I want!” I sound like an angry child.
I’m already too pissed off to calm down quickly.
“You probably hate me,” she says apologetically.
“Not once in my life have I ever hated you, until just now. I come all the way here after just finding out that you’re still alive and this is what I get? You’re worried that something might happen to you because I’m here!”
“What? I’m not worried about me, Mage. I worry for you. Why do you think I did any of the things I did? Why do you think I made my own mother and father suffer? Their only daughter’s death must have been hell for them. I did it all for you—all of it!”
“Why? Tell me what’s happening, please.”
“You go first. Start by telling me exactly who told you that I was still alive.”
I ramble on for an hour. By the time I’m done she knows every detail of my life, starting with Nicholas on the playground in second grade to this very moment in her room. She cries when I tell her about my grandparent’s death. She smiles when I tell her about being able to see them. She’s happy to know that they’re safe and happy. I tell her about Eris taking my eye away and the whole fight with her. I notice right away how stiff she becomes when I mention Craven’s name. When I’ve finally finished my life story she reaches out and grabs my hand.
“I’m so sorry this is all so hard on you. I had to do what I did. Not only was I not able to care for you, but I knew what you were and I knew that people would want what you have.”
“What am I? What do I have? Please, tell me,” I’m frantic.
“Mage, you can do more than any other witch. Have you noticed that you don’t need spells? You can just do things without them—most witches need spells. You started doing things way earlier than the normal witch. Witches usually don’t get their powers until their sixteenth birthday; you got yours when you were a child. You’re more powerful than any other, except the ones like you. I just don’t know if there are any others like you.”
“Like me? Why am I so different?” I ask.
“Mage, the McPherson family are what we like to call white magic—good magic. But there are others out there, like the ones you mentioned earlier, who are black magic—bad magic. Have you noticed that you have blue fire while the bad ones have red? That’s why.”
“Mine’s not blue anymore, now it’s purple. Just like the man in my nightmares,” I say confused.
“I’ve done things in my life that I’m not proud of. Yet the worst thing I’ve ever done, I can’t bring myself to regret. I can’t regret it because it gave me you. I wasn’t there while you grew up, but I always loved you. You’re the only good thing I’ve done in my life,” tears form in her eyes.
“I don’t understand.”
“It’s unheard of for the two magic’s, good and bad, to come together. It’s just something that’s not done, but I fell in love, Mage. I loved your father very much, but he didn’t love me. He used me, Mage. He used me to get you.”
“Are you saying that my father used black magic? You’re saying he was a bad guy? So, what happened?” I ask.
My mother tells me the story of her and my father. She tells me how she met him and fell in love with him only to find out that he was purposely trying to get her pregnant. After she found out she was pregnant with me, she realized he was using her. She didn’t know why, but she knew that he meant me harm for some reason. She said he went away and was never heard from again and that’s when she put the blocking spell on my grandfather and sent me away.
“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life, but I knew you’d never be safe with me. I knew that as soon as you were born he would come back and steal you away. There’s no telling what he would have done to you or why? My only guess is that he knew what kind of magic the two combined would make. I think he was going to try and somehow steal your magic and then use it to make his own powers more powerful.”
“This is crazy, like something-from-a-movie crazy,” I say to no one.
“Believe it, you can do it all, honey, and that’s a valuable thing. You can bend, seek, heal, see, and shape shift. Not to mention your ability to enchant…I think,” she looks over at Adam with question in her eyes when she says the last part.
A blush covers his cheeks and puts his head down.
“What? What does all that mean?”
She laughs a little to herself. It warms my heart to hear her laughter.
“Okay—Flexures dominate the minds of others and bend them to their will. Seekers can find anyone or anything, Eris is probably a seeker. Menders fix the hurts of others or themselves, which you told me yourself you’ve already done. Augurs can see things that aren’t there or things others can’t see. You see spirits. Changelings can shift from one form to another.”
She smiles awkwardly and clears her throat, “I’m a Flexure and your father’s a Changeling, which is why he’s so dangerous. You never know if he’s there or not. And then there’s Doyens. They can do it all, but sometimes it takes years for them to be able to master each thing.”
She stops and looks at me as if she’s afraid of what she’s about to say next. “Mage, I think you’re a doyen. You’re just inexperienced. One day you’ll be very powerful.”
I suddenly feel the weight of the world on my chest.
“But I can’t shift into other forms. That’s crazy!” I say.
“Give it time,” she gives a secret smile.
I can’t believe my ears. This sounds like something in a really bad comic book. My life is a really bad comic book! I let it all soak in. My father’s a bad guy who’s after my magic? I wonder if he has anything to do with Eris and Craven.
I feel my mother’s hand land on top of mine. I understand her reasons for everything she did. I probably would do the same for my own child. I hold her hand in mine and smile at her. This is my mother. The only family I have left in the world and there’s no way I’m leaving here without her.
“Come home with me. We can live together on Azalea Plantation. It’s so beautiful in Summerville. Have you ever been there? I think you’ll love it! It’s so peaceful. Please, say you’ll come?”
She drops her head letting go of my hand. I feel my hopes dr
op. My mother coming home with me would solve everything. She would be out of this wretched place and I could help her learn to use her powers the right way. I could help her learn to control them if that’s what she’s afraid of.
Not to mention, I’d have a guardian. I wouldn’t have to worry about the officials finding out that I’m all alone in the world at sixteen. I wouldn’t have to worry about being sent to a stupid foster home. I could live with my mother and Sire at the plantation. Adam would be there and then once I figure out how to get the eye back, I could have it all. This has to happen, there’s no other option for me anymore.
“I can’t, Mage.”
“Why not?” I cry out.
She has to agree to this, it would solve everything in my life.
“I wouldn’t know how to live around normal people anymore. It’s been over sixteen years since I have. It’s easier to live around people who already think they’re losing their mind. No matter if I slip up or not, they’d think it’s all in their head. Not to mention, it’s really not safe for you to be around me. Your father could find me whenever he wanted and who’s to say that he hasn’t been watching me, waiting for you to show. That’s why I lied about my death. The last thing I’d ever want to do is lead him to you. If I do that then all these years without you would have been a complete and total waste. Don’t ask me to give you up to these bad people because I won’t do it.”
“They’re already after me. You could help me if anything. What do you want me to do? You want me to just walk away and act as if you’re not alive? I can’t do that! I can’t and I won’t! You’re the only family I have left. Please don’t ask me to do that!”
“I’m sorry, Mage, but it’s for the best. One day I’ll come home, but right now it’s just not a possibility.”
“Just tell me one thing before I go,” I choke on my tears.
“Anything…”
“What’s my father’s name?”
“Richard Cain.”
When I leave Trenton Psych I’m in worse shape than I was before I got there. My mother’s alive and healthy, yet she refuses to come home with me, refuses to be a family.
Wicked Fate (The Wicked Trilogy) Page 19