In the moonlight she saw his face. It was filled with tenderness. ‘I love you, Pearl. I’m sorry about nearly spoiling our day.’ He brought her into his arms and kissed her passionately. ‘Don’t be nervous, sweetheart. I won’t hurt you.’
He began to slide down her nightdress straps. Oh God, please don’t let him guess, she prayed. She loved him so much that, to her, he was the only man she had ever been with. And the only man she would ever want. His lovemaking was wonderful, slow and tender, and then as he entered her, she gave a gasp. Her mind seemed to fly away, her body shuddered and together they lost themselves, uniting in a shared joy.
When it was over, Pearl held his strong body tightly. Had he guessed anything? But he took her in his arms and kissed her, telling her how beautiful she was and making her thrill all over again.
When he had fallen asleep and Pearl lay contentedly beside him, she understood for the first time what it was like to feel truly satisfied. When Ricky had first taken her, she had been too young to know that he was an inconsiderate lover, and the feelings of emptiness afterwards were down to Ricky’s selfish and uncaring actions. Jim’s gentle coaxing and tender passion were all that any woman could want. She felt fulfilled and wanted, unlike before, when Ricky had taken what he wanted, leaving her feeling ashamed and guilty.
As Jim stirred, she nestled closely against his warm skin and tried not to let the thoughts taunt her. Why was Ricky still on her mind? The thought of him with Ruby made her feel sick. Had Ruby given herself to him already? Pearl shuddered yet again. Ruby hadn’t even mentioned they’d been going out together. Was it because the wedding had come between them? Perhaps it was her fault, she should have taken more interest in Ruby lately. Pearl closed her eyes as if to try to squeeze out the vision of her sister in his arms. Ricky had insisted he’d changed, that he was a different man. Had meeting Ruby changed him? Could that be true?
Finally sleep came, but her dreams were filled with shadows.
Chapter 3
Jim was asleep when Pearl woke. One arm was flung across her, the tiny hairs that grew over his muscles gleaming gold in the early morning sun, the blackout curtains still undrawn. Pearl lay still for a moment, remembering every second of their lovemaking. This was what true love was about: two people becoming one; something she thought was an impossible dream.
Carefully she moved his arm to one side. Slowly she stood up on the warm, thick carpet, a true luxury after the linoleum at Roper’s Way. She took her wraparound cotton gown from the chair and slid it on. Every inch of her seemed to glow as she walked to the window. Their lovemaking had been wonderful, with whispered words of love so sweet and tender that Pearl felt sure he couldn’t have guessed that he wasn’t her first man.
She jumped guiltily as a pair of strong arms slid round her. ‘Who’s an early bird then?’
She nestled into his chest, hiding her suddenly hot cheeks. ‘I tried not to wake you.’
‘I knew you wasn’t there, even in me sleep.’
‘That’s a lovely thing to say.’ She slid her hands over his strong shoulders and round his neck.
‘What were you thinking? Looked as though you were out there, on the blue horizon.’
‘Isn’t the sea wonderful?’
‘Dunno. Not till we swim in it.’
She laughed. ‘Didn’t bring me swimming costume.’
‘You don’t need one. Not for me.’
‘Jim!’
He pulled her against him. ‘Come back to bed, Pearly-girl.’
‘What about breakfast?’
‘I’ve got mine.’ He began to nibble at her neck.
She giggled as she wanted him all over again. ‘Breakfast’s in with the price.’
‘So am I.’
They laughed as he threaded his hands through her tangled blonde hair. ‘We’ve got all day for . . .’ She trailed off as he lifted her into his arms.
They fell on the bed and soon she was naked.
When Jim had asked her to marry him on Saturday 17 May, at exactly half-past two in the afternoon as they were walking in Island Gardens, she’d accepted without hesitation. And now here she was, married and so happy. She’d never forget that day. ‘I love you so much, Jim.’
‘And I love you.’
‘Now I don’t want to get up.’ She wrapped herself round him. ‘Let’s stay here all day.’
‘Thought you wanted breakfast?’
‘I’ve got you.’
He laughed, tilting her chin. ‘Every time I look in your eyes, I lose me train of thought. Me brain goes to mush.’
Pearl giggled. ‘What if the siren goes?’
‘We’ll pretend we didn’t hear it.’
Pearl thought she would be happy to die in Jim’s arms. But for now she wanted to forget the rest of the world. And she knew that Jim did too.
‘See that old pile of rubbish?’ said the clippie, who wore a man’s uniform, issuing their tickets with a little ‘ting’ on her machine. ‘It was one of our best cinemas until September last year. All art deco and pink and gold inside. Then, in the blink of an eye, it was gone.’
Pearl looked down at the half-demolished building from the top floor of the bus. ‘What a shame.’
She clutched Jim’s hand as they sat side by side enjoying the sun’s heat shining through the window. She had worn a cardigan over her frock as she had got sunburned yesterday on the beach. Jim, who didn’t like the sand much, had sat on a deckchair with a handkerchief tied over his head. He’d laughed as she’d paddled at the water’s edge and got the hem of her dress all wet. Today they had taken the circular bus tour to Broadstairs. It cost only one and six and if there was a raid, the clippie announced, the driver would pull over and everyone must run to the nearest cover. Today was only their third outing in daylight. They had stopped at a coconut shy and Jim had knocked three coconuts from the stands. He’d won her a little green china ashtray with ‘Margate’ written on the side. The rest of their time they’d spent in their room making up for lost time. In the evenings they’d gone out, strolled arm in arm through the darkened streets and exchanged kisses on the seafront benches. Tomorrow they were going home and Pearl was wishing their holiday could go on for ever.
‘It was called the Astoria,’ continued the clippie, holding on to the seat rail as the driver pulled away from the kerb. ‘Before it was bombed, me and my old man used to go there. The seats were lovely, covered in soft material and nice and roomy. All three cinemas were built in the thirties, this one and the Regal and the Dreamland. I saw me first film at the Regal. The Camels Are Coming with Jack Hulbert, it was.’ She sighed and pushed back her uniform cap. ‘Now I’ve only got a pile of rubble to remind me. I lost me husband last year, at Dunkirk.’
‘Oh, I’m so sorry,’ Pearl said sadly.
‘Rotten luck,’ nodded Jim.
Pearl clutched Jim’s hand even tighter. If it wasn’t for his job he too could have been at Dunkirk, or even up in the air during the Battle of Britain. Or he could have been in a ship somewhere, in danger of being torpedoed, like Ricky. The thought of him had intruded again, and determinedly she put him out of mind. She had her Jim beside her and that was what mattered. His work on bombed sites and underground was dangerous, but the chances of survival were much higher than being in the services. They had everything to live for, a future mapped out.
‘Still, you two young things look happy enough,’ said the clippie with a mischievous smile. ‘You on leave, son?’
‘It’s our honeymoon.’ Pearl blushed.
‘That don’t take much guessing,’ the woman smiled. ‘Well, make it last as long as you can. String it out before your bloke has to go back.’ She gave them a wink and made her way to the seats at the front where two soldiers sat. It was clear they were rookies as they were talking about the camp close by.
‘She thought I was enlisted,’ Jim groaned as the bus picked up speed and he stared at the two soldiers. ‘I feel rotten when I think I ain’t on me toes for Britain. Bloke
s like them are risking their lives for the country.’
‘But so are you,’ Pearl insisted, pushing back the wave of hair that fell over her face. ‘Like them flats you was on a couple of weeks ago. You had to make sure they didn’t collapse. If I’d known you were climbing all over them, I’d have had kittens.’
‘Not the same as fighting, though.’
Pearl looked worried. ‘Jim, don’t keep talking like this. You’re doing your bit for the war effort.’
‘She assumed I was on leave,’ he mumbled under his breath as if he hadn’t heard her.
‘Jim, I don’t want you drafted away,’ she insisted. ‘With your job as an engineer, you can stay at home. You said that was what you wanted too.’
He put his arm round her. ‘Thing is, I fight with me conscience,’ he admitted, rubbing his chin. ‘Any man could do what I do with a bit of training.’
‘No, they couldn’t,’ Pearl objected. ‘And I should know, as I type out all the papers that are relevant to your work. There ain’t many engineers with your experience. When a call comes through from the LCC, it’s you and your blokes they want, because they can rely on you to put London back together again.’
He kissed her forehead lightly. ‘I’ll pay you later.’
She smiled wistfully. ‘You can joke, but it’s taken you ten years to learn your trade. And what about all the stuff you did before the war? All those diagram things you helped to put in the Underground.’
He laughed. ‘Diaphragms, you mean.’
‘Yes, those.’ Before the war he had been involved in the works to safeguard the underground system from flooding. Special flood gates and diaphragms had to be installed for use should a direct hit land on any of the lines. Jim had been called in by the LCC to work with the Chief Engineer’s department. Pearl didn’t understand much of what he’d described, but she’d read in the newspapers that it was work of vital importance.
‘I can’t help but wonder if I should’ve joined up,’ he murmured, lost in thought.
A shiver went through her. ‘You know how I feel about that.’
‘You’re right. This is our last day,’ Jim agreed, sliding his arm tightly around her. ‘What mischief are we gonna get up to?’ He eyes were full of teasing and Pearl shivered as his hand went on her knee.
‘Can’t wait to get off the bus now,’ she giggled.
‘Mrs Nesbitt, you’re a naughty girl.’
‘And we’ve got the rest of our lives to be naughty in, thank God,’ Pearl nodded as she squeezed even closer.
For the next hour Pearl tried to enjoy the coastal ride, but each time the bus stopped, more soldiers got on. She knew that Jim was feeling uncomfortable. He was the only man in civvies apart from an elderly man at the back. But Pearl didn’t care.
I’m never going to end up like the clippie she told herself firmly, with only memories to keep me going. I’m never going to be one of these women who say they’re proud of their dead husbands for giving their lives for their country. I’m going to be selfish and make certain that my man doesn’t die. I’m going to make sure we’ll have our lives in front of us. That we’ll have babies who grow up with a dad.
At last the soldiers got off. Pearl felt Jim relax. They began to talk about their new home. It was only four rooms above Hemsley’s, the corner grocer’s shop in Pride Place. A month’s rent had been paid in advance and some bits of furniture moved in.
‘It’s been a wonderful honeymoon, Jim,’ Pearl sighed, snuggling up. ‘I’ll never forget it.’
‘Nor will I.’
Pearl breathed out a grateful sigh, thinking how every moment was so precious. And when they went home, unlike many couples, who had to live with their parents, they had a home of their own. Life was good. Even the memory of Ricky had faded. Life was taking on its rosy glow again.
She laid her head on Jim’s shoulder. Tonight she was going to wear her new nightdress. It was silk, bought from a black market trader at Cox Street. He’d told her it was the last bargain he was likely to get, as the docks were so quiet with no merchant ships coming in. Instead of wearing it on their first night, she’d saved it for their last. She couldn’t wait to see Jim’s face.
Soon the promenade was in sight. Tonight they would be in each other’s arms once more.
‘Well, ducks, how are you two lovebirds getting on?’ Gwen Hemsley, their landlady and owner of the corner shop over which they lived, returned Pearl’s ration book over the counter.
‘We’re going to decorate, if you don’t mind.’
‘Not at all. I’ll bet you make it nice.’
‘I’ve got lots of ideas, which is more than I can say for our dinner.’ Pearl looked at what she’d bought. Spam, potatoes and dried egg. Last year, meat including bacon, butter, cooking fat, sugar and tea had been put on the ration, and this year, Jim’s favourites – eggs and cheese – had gone the same way. The Ministry of Food was responsible for the fair sharing of food amongst the public, and at a price everyone could afford. But people were noticing that the weekly rations were beginning to vary as foods became more and more scarce.
‘Sorry, love, but if you’d have come earlier, you could have had a piece of fish.’
Pearl hated queuing. There were always complaints from the long lines of women standing outside the shops. Although potatoes and fish, as yet, were not rationed, the fish was unpredictable. There was only so much a person could eat of potatoes. The Dig for Victory campaign had interested Jim, but time prevented him from keeping an allotment like her dad. Number twenty-seven A, Pride Place didn’t have a garden to grow vegetables in. No space either for chickens or rabbits. At the back there was just the lav and a sheet of corrugated iron to put over the coal. Their back window overlooked the flat roof of the Hemsleys’ storeroom and the exterior stairs leading up to their rooms. The iron railings had been taken as all the metals had gone into the war effort. Every street had suffered its losses. Jim was good with his hands and had made the staircase a rail as Fitz wasn’t as good at woodwork. When they’d first seen the rooms, they were in a very poor state. But the rent was only twelve and six a week. Jim had suggested they search for a better place, but Pearl said she liked it. She was afraid Jim’s mother would persuade her son they should live with her at Villa Road.
‘What about some more veg?’ suggested Gwen. ‘The Spam can be hidden by a few spuds.’
‘Yes, s’pose that will have to do.’
‘You two must be living on love,’ chuckled Gwen, rolling her eyes. ‘Oh, I’d trade all me own coupons for a good cuddle once in a while. But Fitz is too dog tired of an evening to do anything more than fall asleep in his chair.’
Again the colour filled Pearl’s cheeks. She was getting plenty of cuddles, all right. She and Jim were tired too, but that didn’t stop them having fun. They couldn’t leave each other alone.
Pearl lowered her eyes to the counter. Three weeks after returning from Margate, she was well and truly back to reality as far as the housekeeping went. She tried to make Jim’s meals interesting but they weren’t like their breakfasts at Margate. How the hotel had managed to produce them she didn’t know. They had given them a real egg each morning, said to come from the chickens kept next door. The bread had tasted as though it had been fried in real fat. The bacon had been delicious.
Cooking had never been of interest to Pearl; she liked being with people more. Before the war she had taken under her wing one or two of the older neighbours in Roper’s Way, especially the Sampsons, next door. She liked to run errands for them and do a bit of housework if they weren’t feeling up to the mark. There was a true community spirit on the island and Pearl liked to be part of it.
‘You’ll be able to knock up something,’ said Gwen, pulling her crossover pinafore across her flat chest.
Pearl didn’t want to admit just how useless she was with food. Gwen and Fitz Hemsley were a hard-working middle-aged couple who’d lived all their lives at Pride Place. Fitz’s parents had lived in the four rooms
above the shop. After they had died the rooms had been left empty. But now there was a war on, every penny was needed.
‘Now don’t go overdoing it,’ said Gwen with an affectionate pat on the back of Pearl’s hand. ‘I saw you and Jim coming in late again last night. I was just closing the blackout curtains and there you were walking up Pride Place in the dark. Fire-watching, was it?’
‘No, Jim had a big job on and worked late. So I met him over his mum’s. I thought I might be able to do a bit of tidying-up for her.’
‘Oh dear, no wonder you both looked all in!’
Pearl grinned. Gwen had met Mrs Nesbitt during the first week they’d moved in. Jim’s mother had given the little corner shop the once-over immediately. Wasting no time, she had demanded if any smells were likely to drift up from the storeroom. The enquiry had not been well received. The Hemsleys were scrupulously clean. Jim had apologized afterwards for his mother’s lack of tact but it was still a sore point.
‘Downright rude,’ was Gwen’s observation. ‘My Fitz nearly showed her the door. In fact, he would have if she wasn’t Jim’s old girl.’
Pearl had to explain that Mrs Nesbitt had wanted them to live at Vale Road. Since their refusal, Mrs Nesbitt had given Pearl the cold shoulder, even though she’d done everything to be friends.
‘The best refusal you ever made in your life, love,’ observed Fitz, pushing his spectacles to the bridge of his long nose. ‘She’d have driven you up the wall.’
‘I’m trying me best, anyway.’
‘It’s all you can do in this life.’
When Pearl got in, she felt exhausted. Holding down a job and being married wasn’t like being single. And now she knew how hard her mother had worked to keep everyone happy.
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