Pearl was horrified. ‘But you might – you could get pregnant.’
‘It’s a chance I’m willing to take,’ Ruby reasoned calmly. ‘Who knows what could happen? I don’t want to think the worst. But I may not have much time with the man I love.’
Shocked at this turn of events, Pearl wished more than ever that she could speak honestly to her sister, as they had always shared everything, but now Ricky was creating a chasm between them and Pearl was powerless to prevent it.
Chapter 8
It was six o’clock on Sunday evening and Jim was lying on his bunk in the Nissen hut. He was trying to compose a letter to Pearl but the words weren’t coming easy. He’d written all sorts to start with. First just ‘Dear Pearl’, then rubbed it out and put ‘My darling’. When he’d reread it, he knew it wasn’t him and settled instead for ‘My dearest Pearl’. Now he’d exchanged that for something with a lighter touch, and begun, ‘Dear Pearly-girl, are you missing me? I’m missing you. The weather isn’t cold here and our digs are comfy and warm. Living with a bunch of blokes is all right, but I’d prefer to be with you. How’s your mum and dad and Ruby? How’s Mum? Tell her to keep her pecker up.’ And that was it, more or less. He wasn’t allowed to say where he was or anything about his training, or the fact that he now knew where he was headed.
He and Blackie had been issued their kit. Blackie had been sent to the armoury, whilst Jim was in engineering. Each day they learned more about the desert. Some were simple things, like survival; making meals of bully beef and dog biscuits, and using protective gear so you didn’t get sunstroke. But the other part, the exciting bit, was the mock-ups of the desert, the minefields, the boulders that had to be shifted to get the tanks through. This was Jim’s line of work, his niche; the hastily built camps, the roads, the drainage and water systems. There was so much to learn about North Africa.
Licking the end of his pencil he added a full stop and a comma to his letter, though unfortunately they didn’t take up much space. Perhaps he’d leave writing till tomorrow when he could think of something else to say.
Suddenly there was a shout and the commanding officer and their sergeant strode in. Everyone jumped off his bed and stood to attention. Jim felt his heart pound as the CO stood there, his eyes hidden under the peak of his cap.
‘Good evening, men. Stand at ease, will you?’
Everyone relaxed though Jim felt a high air of tension in the room.
‘Sergeant Docker is about to read a bulletin fresh from Headquarters. The information it contains will mean a great deal to all of us. It may, in fact, accelerate our plans and certainly changes the shape and dimension of the war.’ He paused. ‘Sergeant Docker?’
The tall, burly man with a walrus moustache stepped forward. Glancing at each man and then at the document he held, he began; ‘Today, December the seventh, nineteen forty-one, the Japanese have attacked the United States of America’s naval base at Hawaii, Pearl Harbor.’
There was an intake of breath from every recruit. Jim knew this meant only one thing. The Yanks would finally join the war.
‘The news so far,’ continued the sergeant, ‘is that the United States navy’s battleship force was taken by surprise and unable to mount an effective defence. The Japanese have now effectively removed any obstacle previously considered to be in their way of expanding their empire southwards. This catastrophic strike to America will end the long struggle of the United States to stay out of the war and Congress will shortly give President Roosevelt the authority to join Britain and pursue the conflict, all-out.’
Jim felt a wave of elation. America was now in the war, which meant the Allies would have a much better chance of winning it. Nothing could stop them now.
‘Mum, Dad, Pearl, come and listen!’ shrieked Ruby and they all ran to gather round the wireless.
Pearl sat beside her sister on the couch and Syd stood with his elbow on the mantel. Amy hurried to perch on the arm of the fireside chair. In a sombre voice the commentator described the attack by the Japanese on Pearl Harbor. Other US bases in the Philippines had been targeted too. There were many casualties to the American naval fleet, and troops and civilians. To make things worse, it had all happened whilst the Japanese envoy in America had been in peace talks with President Roosevelt.
‘The Americans were duped,’ said Syd in a low voice when the broadcast was over. ‘They fell hook, line and sinker for the bait.’
‘But what will happen now?’ asked Ruby in alarm.
‘God only knows.’ Her father lit a roll-up. ‘There’s no stopping the Japs, it seems. Hong Kong will be next. We’ve got only a handful of troops there. I don’t like to think what might happen, I really don’t.’
‘Will America join the Allies?’
‘If their congress gives them the nod, then yes.’
‘Jim says that America has been sitting on the fence,’ said Pearl, trying to remember Jim’s words exactly.
‘A massacre like this changes everything,’ Syd muttered, blowing smoke from the corner of his mouth. ‘The US of A has to retaliate. There’s a lot at stake. The Pacific and South-East Asia is crucial to our success. We still hold Malaya and the northern Philippines but only just.’
‘Syd, I really wish you’d smoke outside.’ Amy made a face.
‘All right, all right, I’m going.’
‘Dad?’ Pearl followed her father outside. ‘If America does come in, will it be to Africa as well?’
‘Could be. America’s armada has been sunk in one day. She’ll have a tough time recovering from that. But Japan has made a big mistake in crossing Roosevelt. They’ve underestimated the Yanks, just like Hitler did with the Russians.’
As they turned on the wireless once more, the drama of Pearl Harbor began to unfold. The casualties were in their thousands. It was now clear that Japan had planned the raids well in advance. They had deceived the Americans into believing Japan wanted peace in order to strike the fatal blow.
Pearl and Ruby remained glued to the wireless. Pearl knew that every move made from now on would effect Jim in some way. She guessed that Ruby was thinking the same about Ricky.
Pearl read Jim’s letter a dozen times. She was disappointed as it was full of Pearl Harbor. Only four lines were about how much he missed her. He did write that he hoped to see her soon. As he hadn’t said when, she assumed he meant Christmas.
After such shocking news at the weekend, the office was in uproar on Monday. All the girls in the typing pool, Mr Hedley and the other bosses, everyone was talking about Pearl Harbor, and she listened with interest to their views. Her husband was now part of the war machine and so was she. She’d got married believing Jim could avoid it, but the reality was, the war was closer than ever.
But if Pearl had thought Monday was bad, Wednesday brought a real blow. News came in that the British navy had also suffered a terrible loss. HMS Prince of Wales and HMS Repulse had been sunk fifty miles off the coast of Malaya. ‘“Two of our greatest warships were torpedoed and bombed yesterday by Japanese warplanes,”’ read Moira from the newspaper. ‘“The loss of life is the greatest in one incident. Over eight hundred officers and men are now either killed or missing in action.”’ Moira stopped and put down the newspaper. ‘Me dad said the Japs were going to give it to Britain next,’ she whispered hoarsely.
‘They couldn’t fly all the way over here, could they?’ exclaimed Pearl, chiming in for the first time.
‘No, but they’ve got a navy,’ replied Moira immediately. ‘And there’s a lot more of them than there are of us.’ Moira lifted the newspaper again. ‘It says here that the Prince was crippled, hit in the stern and its propeller shaft twisted, so it couldn’t move. They finished her off and went for the Repulse . . .’ Moira gave a little choke. ‘I can’t read any more. Here, you read it.’ She threw it on Pearl’s desk.
Pearl couldn’t either; it was too upsetting. Thank God Jim wasn’t at sea. What would she have done if she’d read that and had a husband, father, or br
other on board? What must be going through Ruby’s mind about Ricky?
There was one more week until Christmas and Pearl hadn’t heard from Jim. Why hadn’t he written? She wanted to meet him at the station, throw her arms around him like in the films, and kiss him until he was black and blue. But she’d heard nothing and she felt abandoned. She told Ruby so when she called round that evening.
‘They wouldn’t have posted him already, would they?’ said Pearl in the middle of ITMA. Even Tommy Handley hadn’t been able to make her laugh.
‘Course not,’ said Ruby as she turned off the wireless.
‘It was awful about the Prince of Wales.’
‘I’d die if it happened to Ricky. And I haven’t had a letter.’
‘Could be the Christmas post,’ said Pearl, hating herself for feeling secretly pleased.
‘Looks like it’ll be just us and Mum and Dad round the Christmas table.’
‘And Mrs Nesbitt, of course.’
‘I forgot about her,’ Ruby groaned.
‘I don’t want to leave her alone at Christmas.’
‘Jim’s time will be precious on leave. Especially if it’s only a weekend pass. Or even twenty-four hours. Some of the sailors Ricky knows haven’t seen their wives in a year or more.’
‘But Jim is only training at Luton,’ Pearl protested, adding quickly, ‘I think.’
Both were silent. Ruby sighed as she sat in the fireside chair, her cheeks red from the fire. Her striped knitted waistcoat and baggy trousers made her look very young. She kept herself very smart, Pearl thought, considering the utility designs that were forced on people by the government. As for herself, Pearl did everything possible to avoid the restrictions and was now a good customer of the clothes stall at the market.
‘Pearl?’
‘Hm?’
‘You know we was talking about . . . well, getting together with a man?’ Ruby sat forward with her hands on her knees and Pearl’s heart sank. She had tried to convince herself that Ruby wasn’t serious, but looking at Ruby’s flushed face, she could tell that was a vain hope. ‘I decided to go to the clinic at Stepney.’
Pearl was truly shocked. ‘You didn’t!’
‘After you saying about getting pregnant, I gave it some thought.’
‘You mean you really are serious?’
‘Yes, course.’ Ruby sat stiffly, her expression offended. ‘You should be pleased I took your advice.’
Pearl hadn’t suspected that Ruby would go to such lengths and it was a big shock to her. If only she could think of a way to really dissuade Ruby, but the subject of Ricky was making them grow further apart.
‘They were a bit snooty about it at first, as I’m not married,’ Ruby continued in a cool tone. ‘They tried putting me off by telling me about how some girls go for these backstreet operations to get rid of a baby.’ Ruby shuddered. ‘I must admit they did scare me. But all these old wives’ tales like soaking sponges in vinegar and putting them up there really don’t work, even though some women believe they do.’
‘They told you about that?’ asked Pearl in dismay.
‘Yes, and drinking gin in a hot bath.’
Pearl shook her head disbelievingly. ‘I never thought I’d be hearing this from you.’
Ruby stuck out her chin. ‘I wouldn’t have done that anyway. And don’t look so disgusted, Pearl. You and Jim must have done it.’
‘We didn’t!’ exclaimed Pearl in alarm. ‘We waited till we got married.’
‘So you didn’t know anything about sex?’ Ruby stared hard at her and it was then that Pearl realized what she had said. Guilt flowing over her, she tried to stop the mental pictures in her mind of Ricky kissing her, making love to her, and even worse . . .
‘Look,’ Ruby continued in a persuasive tone, ‘I might have been a bit wild when I was younger, Pearl, and Mum and Dad did spoil me a bit after keeping a close eye on you. And I did get away with a lot you couldn’t, but at the same time I’m not daft – or ungrateful. It was you that made me think about getting pregnant and that was why I went for advice. Babies ain’t just something you stick in a pram and feed, they need a lot of looking after. So do you want to hear what they said or not?’
Pearl didn’t want to hear but she couldn’t offend Ruby. If it had been any other man than Ricky, Pearl was sure it wouldn’t seem so bad. In fact, she would probably be telling Ruby she’d done the right thing by going to the clinic. But even the thought of Ricky doing to Ruby what he’d done to her made her feel quite ill. Pearl nodded her head dejectedly.
After a moment Ruby went on, ‘Some women use pessaries, something I can get from the clinic. They’re not a hundred per cent effective, but then nothing is. Not even the Roman Catholic way where you only sleep with a man on certain days. And then there’s the other way, where the man must stop in time.’
Pearl shivered.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Or of course I could do what you do. But as you’re not speaking much to me, I don’t know what that is.’
Pearl went bright red. ‘I don’t do anything.’
‘But you haven’t got pregnant.’
‘It just hasn’t happened,’ Pearl said embarrassedly. She didn’t know why she hadn’t conceived. They had made love enough times. Was it the worry of that other, more dreadful thing, that was always at the back of her mind?
Ruby crossed one leg over the other, patting Ruby gently on the arm. ‘Is that what’s been worrying you? Not being able to have a baby?’
‘No . . . no,’ Pearl insisted.
‘Only you’d tell me if you was worried, wouldn’t you?’
‘I’m not worried, Ruby.’ Pearl knew she was going even redder.
‘The nurse at the clinic asked me if not conceiving was in our family and I said no. After all, there was you and me and we’ve got our cousins, Betty, Jane and Howard. We’re all perfectly healthy, so I’m sure you and Jim will have the tiny patter of feet soon.’
Pearl jumped to her feet. ‘Ruby, I don’t want to talk any more about this.’
Ruby stood up and said gently, ‘Sorry. It must be a sore subject. Trust me to put me big foot in.’ She hugged Pearl close, but there were tears in Pearl’s eyes. Why was she so upset?
‘Listen,’ Ruby whispered as she held her. ‘Please don’t worry about me. I’m not going to get into trouble. I’d rather kill meself than that.’
Pearl thought of Gladys. ‘Don’t ever say that!’
‘I didn’t mean it.’
‘Never say it again. Promise me?’ She hugged Ruby tight.
‘Course I won’t.’ Ruby laughed. ‘You’re daft, Pearl Nesbitt.’
‘I care about you.’
Pearl loved her little sister so much. If only she could stop Ruby from loving Ricky. But love was blind.
Later, when Ruby had left, Pearl sat alone, the thoughts tumbling through her mind. Ruby had sensed her worries, but she couldn’t tell her the truth. The real truth. And even if she did, it would only be her word against Ricky’s. He would never admit to the fact that on the night she had told him that she might be expecting, they’d quarrelled and she’d fallen down the club stairs. It was just after she’d found Stella Burns in his arms and he had been saying the same words of undying love to her. To hear them and see them together had been a big enough blow.
But then he’d heartlessly told her she meant nothing to him. She’d began to cry and he’d laughed at her. Pearl felt the tears streaming down her cheeks now as she remembered the scene so clearly. The snow, on that winter’s night, covering the buildings and the ground in a pure white blanket. And the tiny patch of blood that was the end of their baby’s life.
Chapter 9
Christmas passed without any news from Jim. Even though her dad had managed to bring home a rabbit for Christmas dinner, as he’d won the boilermakers’ raffle, she and Ruby had to put on brave faces. Neither of them had received letters. Nor had Mrs Nesbitt agreed to any of Pearl’s
requests to join them for Christmas dinner.
When the news came over the wireless that Hong Kong had fallen to the Japanese, it felt very gloomy. Pearl counted herself lucky she could wear her slippers and Jim’s plaid dressing gown and mope by the fire. Poor Ruby had had to see out the day with their mum and dad.
The following week a letter dropped on the mat. Jim told her how much he missed her and how upset he was at not getting Christmas leave. He hoped to be home for the New Year before his posting.
Pearl sank down on the chair. She would be seeing him soon. But he was being posted. Where were they sending him? Would he know?
When she got to work, there was only her in the office. Em had asked for time off to be with her father, and Moira had a week’s holiday. Pearl thought about Jim all the time. It was easy without Moira’s interruptions.
Jim’s heart was in his mouth as he strode down West Ferry Road. He was going to see Pearl at last. He couldn’t wait. But he also had to call on his mum. The old girl had written and told him she wasn’t so good after food poisoning at Christmas.
With only two days’ leave, he had to see his mum first, as when he and Pearl were reunited, they wouldn’t be getting out of bed. When he finally arrived at Villa Road, he gave a hearty knock on the door. He had a key, but for the life of him couldn’t think where he’d left it. The door opened slowly.
‘Mum?’
‘Oh, son! Is that you?’
‘Course it’s me. Happy New Year.’ He went to walk in, lowering his kit bag to the floor. He swept off his cap with a proud flourish, but he didn’t get far before his mother began to stagger. He caught her in his arms and sat her slowly down on the stair.
‘Blimey, Mum, what’s up?’
‘My legs have gone.’
‘Must’ve been the sight of my ugly mug. Sit there and I’ll get you a drink.’
When he returned, she was waving a small black fan in front of her face.
‘Drink this.’
She held out a shaky hand. ‘Why didn’t you write you were coming?’
East End Angel Page 9