Afterburn: a novel

by Zane

  Nor was I the type of man to make a woman feel uncomfortable. I definitely didn’t want to appear desperate. Those are the two reasons I’d never approached Rayne. Besides, as fine as she was, she had to have a man; married to him or not.

  “Yardley, you still there?” Felix yelled into my ear.

  “Yeah, what were you saying?” I started to walk away from the bank, embedding Rayne’s image into my mind to help me through the rest of the day.

  “I said, you’re still stacking that money in the bank.”

  “Well, you know there’s nothing wrong with a brother looking out for his future.”

  “True that.” I knew that Felix was feeling me on that point. He’d gone all the way in his education, obtained his doctorate in philosophy, and was on a tenure track as a professor at Howard University. “I was calling to see what’s up for tonight. I refuse to let you spend another Friday up in your crib listening to love song collections on your stereo.”

  “I’m not that bad. I’m not home every Friday.”

  I was offended. He was insinuating that I was a sap, a weak man, a wimp. I was still getting over my breakup with Sheila. It hurt because I truly cared. My friends could all get over a failed relationship in the span of an NBA game, but not me. Add to that the fact that Sheila’s departure had taken me by total surprise and it was inevitable for me to harbor ill feelings. Looking at Rayne Waters was helping to soothe the pain.

  “Man, ever since Sheila left you ass out with nothing but a mattress set and a toilet brush, you’ve been drowning in your own sorrow.”

  “Not hardly.”

  “Yes hardly, Yardley. Hey, that shit rhymes.”

  I couldn’t help but chuckle as I waited for the walk signal so I could cross the street. It was a beautiful day for October; nippy but comfortable all the same. A dime of a sister pulled up to the light in a red Lexus and winked at me. I didn’t bother to wink back. She was cool, but not my type. Women that were too forward and aggressive turned me off.

  “On the real, though, I need your help tonight.”

  “With what?” I asked suspiciously.

  The light changed, the sister took off in her car, and I crossed the street.

  “Mona’s cousin is here from out of town. I need you to double with me.”

  “Oh no, Felix! I don’t think so.”

  I stopped on the opposite corner and searched my pockets for some change to buy a copy of The Washington Post from a vending machine.

  “Come on, man. What do you have to lose? She’s only here for the weekend.”

  Maybe getting out wouldn’t hurt matters. I could show up, eat dinner, get my mind off things for a few hours, and then roll out. First, I needed to make sure she didn’t look like Rin Tin Tin. I didn’t consider myself shallow but I wasn’t trying to have to look at Shrek all night either.

  “You’ve seen her?” I asked Felix.

  “Boy, have I! She’s a hottie and peep this. She’s from Hotlanta. The Dirty South. They don’t call it dirty for nothing. Mona said cuz is a straight-up freak.”

  “Felix, you know I’m not into casual sex.”

  “Okay, how about casual dinner?” he asked sarcastically. “You into that?”

  I sighed at his remark. “What’s her name?”

  “Get this.” He chuckled. “Her name is Precious.”

  “Is she really fine, man? Don’t lie to me.”

  “Yardley, you’re my boy. We go way back. Would I lie to you?”

  I reluctantly caved in. “Okay, okay. What time and where, Felix?”

  “Eight o’clock. The Capital City Brewing Company.”

  I dropped two coins in the machine and retrieved a paper.

  “Isn’t that near the Convention Center?”

  “Yeah. Right across the street.”

  “Cool. I’m going to do this Felix, but…”

  “But what?”

  “You know but what. Later, man.”

  “Peace. See you in a few hours.”

  The moment I stepped into the restaurant, I had no choice but to question Felix’s sanity. The three of them were seated at a cozy booth in the rear. I could see the sister’s gold front teeth from the doorway and her hair was standing up almost a foot off her scalp. I feigned a smile and walked over to the booth. It was going to be a long ass night.

  We managed to make it through most of dinner without making any conversation. Mona and Felix had been feeling each other up underneath the table the entire time, whispering to each other, obviously about sex. I was past pissed off.

  Precious was the epitome of a hood rat perpetrating Nubian royalty. She had four gold teeth in total, matching acrylic fingernails and toenails, and was dressed like a tramp. She had on sandals in October, a lime green skintight sheath, and enough gold chains to make Mr. T envious.

  Her hair was fake. Her purple eyes were fake. Her nails were fake. I’d venture to say even her breasts were fake. However, I didn’t know that for sure and I had no intention of finding out.

  I was hoping the ladies—and I use that term loosely—would excuse themselves to the restroom so I could get in Felix’s ass. The mere thought that he’d set me up with such a woman made me want to open a can of whup ass on him.

  Mona was fine, past fine, but her cousin looked like she was a refugee from the sideshow at the circus. I could picture her sitting up on the stage right beside the elephant man, the shemale, and the bearded lady. They could call her the “Purple-Eyed Skank.”

  The silence was killing me so I decided to make the best of it until everyone else finished eating. I’d lost my appetite halfway through my baby back ribs. Besides, just because I wasn’t attracted to her was no reason to be downright rude.

  “So, Precious, are you originally from Atlanta?”

  She flashed her gold teeth at me, looking relieved that I was finally talking to her. “Born and raised.”

  “That’s nice. What do you do for a living? Are you on vacation from your job?”

  Relief turned to anxiety. I could see it in her fake eyes. “Actually,” she replied hesitantly. “I’m between jobs at the moment. There aren’t that many openings around where I stay.”

  “Really? I heard the economy and employment market are both booming in Atlanta; especially for AA’s.”

  “AA’s?”

  “African-Americans.”

  “Oh.” She cut into the remaining half of her chicken breast, both elbows on the table. She had absolutely no manners. Twice she’d picked her teeth with one of her fake nails and she’d let out several belches; one that had people clear across the restaurant searching out the culprit. “You mind if I order another drink?” she asked.

  Precious was already waving the waitress over before I could respond, “No, go right ahead.”

  She ordered another Seagrams Seven and Seven-Up.

  “I’m thinking about moving up here. I might stay with Mona for a while.”

  Mona, who’d been sucking on Felix’s earlobe like it was one of my baby back ribs, glared at Precious. “Humph, I…don’t…even…think…so!” she yelled out, moving her head from side to side with each syllable.

  “But, Mona…,” Precious whined.

  “But Mona nothing. You’re my fam and all, but there’s no way you and your hard-headed ass kids are taking over my place.”

  I felt the vibration and audibly heard the kick Precious gave Mona underneath the table. Felix grinned at me and shrugged his shoulders, acting completely innocent of the charges of treason he knew I’d throw at him later on.

  “How many kids do you have?” I asked, not that it really mattered. At first sight, I’d decided there was zero possibility of Precious and me hooking up. I just have a nosy streak and it reared its ugly head.

  Precious yelled out, “Three!”

  Mona yelled out, “Five!”

  Felix cleared his throat.

  I downed the rest of my draft beer.

  Precious put her utensils down, took her elbows off the
table, and started picking her fake nails to get rid of whatever she’d picked out of her teeth earlier. “I have five, but two of them stay with their daddies.”

  I was speechless. If two of them stayed with their daddies, that meant there were probably at least three babies’ daddies involved.

  Precious could tell I was turned off. Then again, she should’ve realized that from jump street.

  She stroked my arm. Normally, if I was out on a date and a woman stroked my arm, I’d be aroused. But I didn’t choose her as a date. In fact, I would never have chosen her for a date; even if I’d gone twenty years without a woman in my bed and had no other option than a blowup doll.

  “Yardley, since we’re done eating, you want to go sit over at the bar? That way we could talk in private.”

  We both had food remaining on our plates. Mine was definitely going back to the kitchen that way. Still, I had no intention of going over to the bar with her.

  “Precious, I’m fine right here.”

  I glanced over at Felix and Mona. They were looking uneasy and whispering to each other.

  “You guys don’t need to move to the bar,” Felix said, jumping up from the booth and tossing a fifty on the table. “That should cover our half of the bill. Mona and I are going to head back to my place.”

  That did it! I was going to cuss his ass out for sure. First, the set-up with a floozy and now he wasn’t even paying the entire bill? It was going to be on when I caught up to him in private.

  “Felix!” I lashed out at him.

  Felix kept grinning at me nervously while Mona scooted over to the edge of the booth and got up, smoothing out the bottom of her tan dress. At least she had some clothes on, unlike her cousin.

  Mona touched me on my shoulder. “You don’t mind dropping Precious off, do you, Yardley? Of course not. You’re always the gentleman. I already gave her a key.”

  Do I have a choice? “I guess not, Mona.”

  Felix reached out to shake my hand. I grabbed it tight, trying to cut off his circulation.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow, man,” he said in agony, yanking hard until I finally loosened my grip.

  They disappeared out the front door of the restaurant and into the night.

  “You ready?” I asked Precious.

  “You mind if I finish this drink first?”

  “No, not at all.” I searched for the waitress. I needed another beer myself.

  “Isn’t this one of those cars where you can put the top down?” Precious asked, settling into my black Porsche 911 convertible.

  “Yes, it is. It’s a convertible.”

  On top of everything else, I began to wonder if Precious had a frequent rider pass for the little yellow school bus. Who doesn’t know the difference between a convertible and a hardtop?

  “Cool. Maybe we can put the top down so my hair can blow in the wind.”

  I tried to suppress a laugh. As stiff as her hair was, we could’ve sped through a windstorm at ninety miles per hour and it wouldn’t have budged.

  “What year is it?”

  “It’s a ninety-eight.”

  I started my car and took off before I gave it a chance to warm up. I couldn’t end the night fast enough. I still had a good thirty-minute drive to Mona’s place out in Forestville, Maryland.

  “Ninety-eight? I thought you’d have a newer model car with all the money you make.”

  “How much money do I make?” I asked, picturing Mona dishing out the dirt on me over a bowl of heavily buttered microwave popcorn.

  “I don’t know. Mona said you were getting paid.”

  I bet she did. “So when you were working, what did you do?”

  “Promise you won’t get mad.”

  I had to laugh at that one. I figured it must’ve been a doozy. “No, I won’t get mad.”

  “I used to be a stripper, but I gave that up.”

  “Why’d you give it up?”

  “Gary, he’s my youngest son’s daddy, he threatened to take Gary, Jr. away from me if I didn’t quit. He has a lot of damn nerve, considering he met me at work. He paid me twenty dollars to let him lick whipped cream off my toes.”

  I instantly felt sick to my stomach. I wondered if she’d had fake toenails at the time.

  “He told me quit, or I’m taking your ass to court. Out of all my kids, I love Gary, Jr. the most. I couldn’t have that.”

  What type of woman would openly play favorites amongst her kids? Precious really had some issues.

  “So what are you doing to support your kids?” I asked.

  “I get child support from four of my exes. One’s locked up so he doesn’t have any damn money. I get a state check as well.”

  Great! Five babies’ daddies and on welfare.

  “I see.”

  “I had a gig for a while with Animal Control but I hated it. They had my ass out on the middle of highways picking up dead deer and chasing wild dogs all over the place. I was scared as shit sometimes.”

  Part of me wondered who was more scared; Precious or the animals.

  Precious reached over and started rubbing my thigh. “Yardley, can I ask you something?”

  I removed her hand. “Please don’t do that. It messes with my driving.”

  “I’m sorry.” She pushed her breasts up with her hands like she was adjusting them in her bra. Fake or not, I’d never lay a finger on them. “I was wondering if you’d ever kept a woman.”

  “Are you serious?” I asked incredulously. “No, I’ve definitely never kept a woman.”

  “Would you consider keeping one?”

  “No, I wouldn’t consider keeping one.”

  “Look, I’m going to cut the bullshit okay? I’m in a bind. I need to get away from Atlanta because I got mixed up with the wrong man and he got me involved in some illegal shit.”

  “Precious, I’m sorry to hear that.” My nosy side wanted to inquire about details, but my wise side told me to leave well enough alone. “Sounds like you need a lawyer; not a man. Either way, I can’t do a thing for you, my sister.”

  That was when she practically climbed over the gear shift, throwing a thigh over it to rub up against mine and clawing at my dick with her hand.

  I pulled my car over on the side of Pennsylvania Avenue. We’d just crossed the Maryland State Line.

  “Precious, I asked you not to grope all over me. I’m not trying to wreck my car.”

  “I can fuck you so hard, you’ll cry,” she told me, trying to sound seductive.

  All I could do was laugh. Me crying over some punta? Never.

  “Oh, you think that shit’s funny?” she asked angrily.

  “Actually, I think it’s hilarious.”

  She put her leg back down on the passenger seat and rubbed her Elvira nails up and down her midriff. “I’m offering you all this and you see me as a fucking joke?”

  “Precious, this may come as a shock to you, but we do have plenty of women here in D.C. I don’t know who or what gave you the impression that I have to keep a woman in order to have one, but you’ve been seriously misinformed. I’ve bought women things but it wasn’t in exchange for sex. That’s for damn sure.”

  “Oh yeah, is that why your woman left you to bump coochies?”

  That hurt. It hurt like shit. Not because Precious was speaking the words, but because it meant that Felix had betrayed me by telling my business to Mona.

  I put my car back in drive and pulled off.

  “You don’t have shit to say now, huh? I guess not. Sorry motherfucker. You’re such a lousy fuck that your woman would rather lick a pussy than be with you. I was going to do your ass a fucking favor and suffer through the two minutes every night in exchange for a place to stay.”

  Was she calling me a two-minute brother? Oh, hell naw!

  “I can’t imagine a man even giving you two minutes of sex, you skank.”

  “Skank?” She flipped me the finger. “I got your skank.”

  “If I were less of a man, I’d kick your ass out
of my car right here. Luckily for you, I’m above that.”

  “Just take me back to Mona’s and make tracks.”

  “No problem. I can’t get your trashy ass out my car fast enough.”

  She waved me off and smacked her lips before crossing her arms in front of her chest and pouting.

  We didn’t say a word to each other the rest of the way out to Forestville. Fine by me. I turned on the radio and lost myself in thought. I analyzed the situation with Sheila for the hundredth time since she’d left.

  I knew Sheila was bisexual when I’d met her. Like most men, I saw that as a definite plus as long as I could watch. And I did. I even joined in a couple of times with some of the sisters she’d picked up at lesbian clubs. I viewed it like this. Some women have a craving for chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. My woman had a craving for pussy. No harm, no foul.

  That is, until her former lover moved back from the West Coast and ruined a perfect situation. Raven wasn’t having any part of sharing and neither was I; under the circumstances. I knew there had been real feelings involved between the two of them and I didn’t like it. Matter of fact, I was jealous.

  It turned out it was for good reason. Less than three months after Raven had hopped off the plane, Sheila had left my ass high and dry, leaving behind nothing but a five-sentence note.

  Yardley,

  What can I say? I love dick, but I love pussy more. I’m sure you’ll find someone else. I’m in love with Raven and I need her in my life. I’m sorry.

  Thanks for everything,

  Sheila

  Thanks for everything? I didn’t invite her over for Thanksgiving dinner. I didn’t loan her a cup of sugar. I’d given her my heart, two years of my life, and a Benz. She’d given me five sentences and a “thanks for everything.”

  I dropped Precious off fifteen minutes later. She got out and slammed the door. I pulled off before she even reached the stoop of Mona’s townhouse. Forget about seeing her in safely. Even a blind crack addict wouldn’t want to attack her funky ass.

  On the way to my penthouse in Southwest, I passed the First Community Bank. Rayne Waters’s bank. Now she was the total package. Beautiful, sexy, a good job. More than likely taken. I decided to go back into the bank on Monday to find out for sure.