by Zane
Seven
Rayne
If I’d had the slightest suspicion that my mother would call me on a Friday night, I would’ve gone to Passion with Chance and Ricky with a quickness.
“Rayne, I’m glad I caught you in,” she squealed into the phone. “I need to talk to you.”
“What’s going on, Momma?” I plopped down on my sofa, debating about fixing a cocktail to help me get through the conversation. “I thought you’d be down at the Eagle.”
“The Eagle has played out.”
“Humph, that’s a surprise,” I said sarcastically.
Truth be known, the Eagle was played out before it’d ever gotten started. For years, I’d been anxious to get in there to see what all the excitement was about. Once we were of age, Chance and I made a beeline for the place. The inside was barely bigger than my living room and the place smelled like funk. Instead of chanting that song “Ain’t We Funkin’ Now?” by the Brothers Johnson, they needed to be chanting, “Ain’t we funky now? Ain’t we funky like you like it?”
“Rayne, I need a favor,” Momma whispered into the phone like she wasn’t alone.
Not a big surprise either. Momma was still basking in all of her whoredom. That was the main reason I’d left Birmingham. Her reputation was rubbing off on me. Guilty by association and all that jazz.
“What’s the favor, Momma?”
“I need to borrow a thousand dollars.”
“A thousand dollars. Geesh, Momma, for what?”
“I’m two months behind on my rent.”
I held in the expletives bouncing around on my tonsils. If nothing else, I still showed my mother respect; even when I didn’t respect her actions.
“Why haven’t you been paying your rent?”
“Truck won’t give me any cash. He claims I’ve been cheating on him.”
“Have you?” I asked as serious as a heart attack.
“No, I ain’t been cheating!” She was raising her voice and I felt a migraine coming on. “I treat Truck like a king! He’s just acting silly!”
I was anxious to get off the phone. “Momma, I’ll wire you the money Monday morning. I have to go now.”
“Thank you, baby.” She giggled, her voice returning to normal. “I know I can always count on you.”
I only wished I could say the same.
“Goodnight, Momma.”
“Goodnight, baby.”
A thousand dollars. One thing was sure; Momma had no apprehensions about asking me for money. I definitely needed a drink after that one. I went into my kitchen and hooked myself up with a rum and Coke.
I decided to do my laundry instead of waiting to do it on Saturday morning, as customary. By the time I finished up the second load, The Wire was coming on HBO. I’d barely sat down, prepared to get my drama on, when my phone rang again.
“Hello.”
“Hey, Rayne. It’s me.”
“Me?” I asked sarcastically. The nerve of some men to think they’re the only one calling.
“This is Conquesto.”
“Oh, hey.” Half of me hoped he was calling to break the date. After the comments Chance had made, it had gotten me to thinking. What if he wasn’t my type? “What’s going on?”
“I was calling to ask if we could head out a little later tomorrow than planned. I need to handle something about eight and I probably won’t be able to scoop you up until about nine-thirty.”
“Nine-thirty is fine.”
“Okay, cool.”
I heard him sighing through the phone and a noise like water running. No this fool was not taking a leak while he was talking to me on the phone? Five seconds later, the toilet flushed. Damn him!
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Rayne.”
I hung up the phone without saying goodbye. I was totally disgusted. I’d been on the dating scene for years and I’d never had a man take a leak while he was talking to me on the phone. Not even Will, and we were together for three years.
Will aka Mr. Know It All. Will was fine. Tall like I prefer, caramel, nice juicy ass. It might sound strange, but I’m an ass woman. I can’t stand looking at a brother nude that has a flat ass. I need something to palm when a man’s grinding in and out of me.
Physically, Will was a dream. Mentally, he left a lot to be desired. Will was from the old school. He held true to the player/pimp mentality. He thought expressing romantic feelings to a woman was taboo. A sign of “sweetness.” On top of that, he never wanted to listen to me. I tried to tell him that a man can listen to a woman and still be hard; just like a woman can listen to a man and not be weak.
Looking back on it, I think there was probably never a time when Will wasn’t cheating on me. I’d ignored all of the signs; until I caught him red-handed. I went by his office one night. He was in the garage banging some tramp inside his car, giving her all that good ass dick that belonged to me. Her greasy ass hair was smearing up against his back window.
I opened the door and she almost fell out the car, tits hanging upside down and all. I pulled the fire extinguisher from behind my back, the one I’d swiped from a nearby wall, and covered both their asses with the spray.
“Maybe that will put out the fire!” I screamed at both of them.
Will came home later that night, begging for forgiveness. I told him that my love life wasn’t a game of Monopoly and I didn’t pass out Get Out of Jail Free cards. I told him to pack his shit and leave.
Will messed up and was wrong for that, but the depth of my hurt was my own fault. I thought I was strong, but in love I was weak. I should’ve had the strength to see that all of his inconsistencies were enough, without hard evidence. I should’ve believed in myself enough to trust what I thought, what my intuition was saying, but I didn’t. My intuition couldn’t be wrong all of the time.
I needed a man who had reached the point where he realized he was accountable for his actions; all of them. A man who realized he had to give what he expected to be rewarded in return. I seriously doubted that Conquesto would be him, but I had to start someplace. Pickings were slim in D.C.—for women—and competition was tight. A date was a date. I simply prayed I wouldn’t regret it.
Eight
Yardley
Felix, Dwayne, and Mike were already on the basketball court when I pulled up on Saturday morning. We met every Saturday morning, without fail, to play hoops. It was a badge of manhood; right behind bragging on getting laid.
Dwayne threw me the ball when I was still about twenty feet away. I took it, palmed it, and threw it right into the small of Felix’s back.
Felix yelped out in pain. He’d been down on one knee, tying his shoe, when I plummeted him without warning.
“Damn, man! What’s that all about?” Mike asked.
“Ask Felix,” I responded.
Felix stood up, reaching behind his back to rub it. “Yardley, that was totally uncalled for. You’re being childish.”
“I’m being childish? You set me up with that skank last night, left me hanging at the restaurant so you could go get some ass you get every night anyway, and I’m being childish? You were wrong for that shit, Felix, and you know it.”
That was when Dwayne jumped all into the mix. “Dang, Felix, you told me you’d hooked our boy up with a fine ass honie.”
“Fine?” I chuckled. “I’ll put it this way, Dwayne. Those brothers you deal with down in the D.C. Jail wouldn’t get with her.”
Dwayne fell out laughing. “That’s pretty bad then. Most of them would fuck anything; even each other.”
Dwayne was a guard in the D.C. Jail. Being demanding and angry, it was the perfect job for him. Dwayne was one of those brothers that was angry about everything. He was an Internet junkie and got all these negative emails encouraging boycotts and phone marathons to lodge complaints against the injustices of the world. A person that went into a restaurant or bookstore and felt like they were treated unfairly because they were black. A security guard or policeman using excessive force on a black man. E
very weekend, it’s something new.
“Speaking of jail, I have to tell you something. This is deep.”
Mike, Felix, and I stared at one another, thinking “here it comes.”
“There’s this brother in prison down in Texas on death row that’s innocent, man.”
“How do you know that?” Felix asked sarcastically.
“I read it in my email. Let me finish telling you about it.”
“I’ve heard enough,” Mike lashed out at him. “We came here to ball, so let’s ball.”
Dwayne got upset, militant even. “You fools don’t care about anyone but yourselves. Don’t you care that our people are being mistreated all over this country?”
“I care, Dwayne,” I sincerely stated. “I just don’t put much credence into all the stuff you get in your email. If it were up to you, we’d be spending every Saturday morning holding picket signs in front of some restaurant or typing letters to congressmen.”
Dwayne rolled his eyes at me. “Just forget it. Forget about people dying in the streets, succumbing to fatal diseases, and those falsely incarcerated.”
Mike fell out laughing. “Don’t be so melodramatic, man. You need to go to some of these auditions with me. You’re a natural born actor.”
Felix and I had a good chuckle while Dwayne pouted.
Mike was an actor; a “thespian” as he put it. He wasn’t very believable or fluent when it came to speaking roles, but he’d lucked up with a few commercials because of his rock-solid body. He did this underwear commercial and for more than a year after it aired, women were running up to him when we were out at clubs asking if he was “the one from the commercial.” One sister even offered to surrender her panties on the spot if he’d go into the men’s room, remove his, and relinquish them to her.
We played ball, got all hot and sweaty as usual, and stood around afterwards downing a few beers. Yes, we were all “men’s men” and then some.
Felix followed me to my car. “Yardley, I heard what happened this morning when I dropped Mona off. I’m sorry I left you hanging, man.”
“You know what, Felix? It’s not so much you leaving me there with Precious so she could try to get me to take her to bed, work me over, and assume I’d take care of her for life in exchange for sexual favors. What really pissed me off was the fact that she knew all about Sheila.”
Felix’s mouth dropped open.
“Don’t even try to play it off, Felix. You told Mona, she told Precious, and the damage is done. I’m not sure I can ever trust you again, man.”
“Yardley, you’re right. I fucked up big time.” He stated this like he was telling me something I didn’t already know. “I got drunk one night and it slipped out.”
“You got drunk and started talking about my sex life with Mona? Is your own sex life that boring? That’s ridiculous, if you have nothing better to talk about than me and who I’m dealing with on a personal level.”
Felix punched me lightly on my arm and started walking away backwards, still facing me. “You’re pissed and I know how you get. Rather than stand here and let this escalate, I’m going to jet and catch up to you tomorrow. Cool?”
I didn’t reply. I got into my car and left. I stopped by Haines Point on my way home and took a quick run to relieve some stress. It wasn’t so much mental stress but sexual stress. It had been a while since I’d been laid. However, I was nowhere near desperate enough to bed Precious or anyone who resembled her. Now Rayne, her I could make love to body and mind. I sighed as I finished my run and my daydream about her simultaneously. “Yardley, that woman isn’t thinking about you,” I told myself aloud.
Nine
Rayne
Nine-fifty. Conquesto was late. If ten came around and he wasn’t there, I was planning to follow my golden rule. Thirty minutes after schedule was a certifiable stand-up, meaning I was free to get undressed, get in bed, and ignore the doorbell when it rang.
After that black booty pants comment Boom made, I’d selected a pair of sweat pants and a long sleeve Henley top to wear to the movies. I wasn’t a hoochie and I wasn’t trying to leave that impression either.
I decided to go out onto my balcony to get some fresh air. It faced M Street so I could always see the bustle of activity in Georgetown. That was why I loved my place so much. Inside, I could seal out the world, yet I could step outside and everything came to life.
I moved to Georgetown because it had character. I fell in love with it the first time I came down there to go window-shopping. Georgetown was full of antique shops, hip clothing stores, and restaurants that boasted individuality, unlike all the customary chain stores.
I selected a building with underground parking. The extra two hundred a month tagged onto my rent was well worth it. Parking was scarce in Georgetown. People from the suburbs had to pay at least twelve dollars for parking to have dinner or take in a movie.
The air was nippy that night, but not cold. I was sitting on one of my Adirondack chairs when the doorbell rang. The moment of truth had arrived. Hopefully, Conquesto would be fine and ring more than my doorbell.
I took a restorative breath before I swung the door open. Good thing I’d braced myself. That was the only thing that prevented me from laughing.
Conquesto had a cute enough face. He was light-skinned and tall with a slender frame. His hair had to go. It was dyed platinum blonde and he was wearing a bright orange sweat suit with black dress loafers and no socks. He had a huge gold necklace adorning his chest that had his name spelled out in three-inch letters. I was too through.
“Hey, Rayne.” He grinned at me, licking his lips in the process. Now, I could deal with the lips. He had some of those licking-me-downlow-and-lovely lips. “I’m sorry I’m late, but I had a hard time finding a space. I finally found one a couple blocks away.”
“No problem,” I lied. “I only finished getting ready a few minutes ago.”
He barged by me before I even had a chance to invite him to step in. “Listen, you mind if I use your bathroom right quick?”
I pointed down the hall. “Not at all.”
“Cool, I’ll be right back.” He paused in mid-step, turned around and grinned at me. “Damn, you’re fine. I only got to see you from a distance before. I’m going to have to get Boom something special for hooking me up with you. Maybe I’ll get her a phat outfit to rock when she goes clubbing.”
I didn’t know what to do other than blush. “Thanks for the compliment.”
While he was in the bathroom, I psyched myself up for the rest of the evening. It was dark out so I didn’t run the risk of really being seen until we got to the theater. It would be dark inside, but the lobby was still a problem. If any of my friends spotted me with a brother with platinum hair and a bama outfit on, I’d never hear the end of it.
I heard some strange noises coming from the bathroom and then I realized he was straining; letting out loud moans while he was trying to pass a turd. That was disgusting! Even if it meant him being another ten or fifteen minutes later than he was already, he should’ve found a public restroom and handled that business before he fell up in my place.
The toilet finally flushed a few moments later. I heard the door swing open but I didn’t hear any damn water. No his nasty ass did not come out without washing his hands? That was the second time I’d witnessed his bathroom habits and we still hadn’t been out on a date yet.
“You ready?” Conquesto asked, walking back out into my living room.
“Did you find the soap okay?” I wanted to see what his nasty ass would say. “I think I put a new bar out in the dish.”
“Yeah, yeah, I found it okay,” he lied.
I could put up with a lot of nonsense when it came to men, but poor hygiene was out of the question. I was going to endure the date, but Conquesto would never see me again. That was the bottom line.
On the way to the Loews Cineplex Dupont, the springs in Conquesto’s jacked-up car, a big ass 1972 Ford, ripped a small hole in my sweat pants.
It was a good thing I didn’t get all fly for him. If I’d ripped a hole in something expensive or, worse yet, unique and irreplaceable, I would’ve gone into bitch mode for the rest of the night.
As it turned out, I had to wake my bitchy alter ego from her slumber anyway. Conquesto got into line at the box office while I stood over to the side to wait for him. He looked at me like I was crazy.
“You gonna get your ticket, or you want to give me the money so I can get it?”
I couldn’t believe he’d said that to me. He actually thought he was going to play Mr. Cheap with me.
“Um, Conquesto.” I scooted closer to him so other people wouldn’t be privy to what I was about to say. “You might not know this, but it’s customary for the person that initialized the date to pay. I’m not saying that the woman should never pay, but you asked me out tonight. Get what I’m saying?”
“Damn!” He got all loud on a sistah. People immediately started being nosy. “You mean you can afford to pay Boom a grip every week to get your hair done, but you can’t buy your own movie ticket?”
“Oh, I can afford it,” I replied vehemently, getting loud myself. “I can also afford a taxi to take my ass home. Later.”
I headed for the exit onto Nineteenth Street. He must’ve thought he was taking a desperate hoochie out on a date. I’d show him.
“Rayne, hold up!” He came running up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. “I got your back, woman!”
I yanked away from him and his nasty, shit-infested hands. “I don’t need you to have my back. I have my own back. Thank you very much.”
“Look, I’m sorry.” Oh boy, now he was going to start begging. “I didn’t mean to cause a scene. Let’s go back inside and I’ll happily pay for your ticket.”