by Zane
“But you two were an item?”
“Oh yeah, a heavy item.”
“How come you never told me?”
“What was the point? He never knew about you and he was no good to you dead.”
Momma was unbelievable.
“It would’ve helped to know that my father was an actual individual, instead of some nameless, faceless person,” I said excitedly. She simply didn’t get it.
“Rayne, I’m not as bad as you think I am and you’re not as bad as you think you are.” She stood, walked up behind me, and embraced me, laying her head on my shoulder. “I do love Truck but I’ve never gotten over Mathis. I’ve acted a fool because of it; I realize that. It was my way of coping with the pain.”
I felt her tears streaking down my arm. “I’m so sorry, Momma.”
“No, I’m the one who’s sorry. I should’ve told him. He deserved to know. If I’d been woman enough to tell him—instead of being paralyzed by fear—things might’ve been different.” I’d never heard her sound so weak; so defeated. “He might’ve fought harder if he knew he had a child on the way, or he might not have fought at all, which would’ve been even better.”
“Is that the reason you drink so heavily, too?” I asked her, hoping to get everything out.
“Yes, it’s the reason I do everything destructive.”
Her sobs grew heavier and I turned to take her into my arms. I drifted her back over to the sofa so we could sit down. I cradled her for a moment while she let all of her emotions out. Before I knew it, I’d joined her. Her pain was my pain and I felt bad about everything negative I’d ever said or thought about her. She didn’t need me to chastise her; she needed me to help her.
“You can get help, Momma, if you want to get help.”
“I do, baby. I do want to live again; really live.”
“I’ll get you into a center, Momma. Right away. They’ll make you all better.”
“Thanks, Rayne.”
“No, thank you.” I lifted her face so I could stare in her eyes when I said, “I see everything so much clearer now.”
“I lost my only chance at real happiness. Don’t lose yours.”
We sat there, holding one another, as I pondered her last statement.
Momma had managed to fall asleep in my bedroom. She was totally exhausted from all the tears shed; so was I. I was walking out the kitchen with a tall glass of water when a knock came at my door. I knew who it was before I opened it.
Yardley was a disheveled mess. His eyes were red; a perfect match for mine. Before I could open my mouth, he started rambling.
“I’ve been wandering the streets outside your building for the past two hours, debating about coming up here. Part of me is angry. I can’t understand how you could do this to me. All I’ve ever tried to do is love you. All I want to do is love you forever.”
I bit my bottom lip, but hesitated to say anything. I couldn’t find the words I was searching for.
“If I’ve done something wrong, please tell me and I’ll fix it.”
He put his hand to my face and rubbed my cheek, then my hair.
“Whatever you want, whatever you need, I’ll give it to you.”
I threw my arms around his neck and whispered, “Yes.”
“Yes?” he asked with a nervous chuckle.
“That’s the answer you wanted to hear earlier, right?” I kissed him on the cheek and spoke it directly in his ear the next time. “Yes.”
A wide grin spread across my face, then his.
“Yes,” I said for a third time, and pulled him into my place.
Less than an hour later, we were in the room he’d booked for Momma at the Hilton, and my engagement ring was on my finger.
Thirty-one
Rayne
August 2004
“How’s my girl, Arjay?” Boom asked me as she put the finishing touches on my hair once again.
“She’s fine, Boom.”
From Naps to Baps was packed. Sisters weren’t joking about looking good. The summer was coming to an end so they would have to give up the miniskirts, bikinis, and shorts riding up the cracks of their asses before too long.
Boom placed her hands on my shoulders. “I’m still planning on getting down there to see her. I wanna check out some of that Alabama black snake firsthand.”
Yo-Yo spoke up. “Don’t forget me, Boom. I’m going with you.”
“Me, too,” Tamu said.
I was thinking if the main stylist, the manicurist, and the shampoo girl all left town at once, it would put a serious wrench in the business.
“Damn, who’s going to run From Naps to Baps while all of you are down South getting your backs blown out?” I asked.
I could hear Tamu’s lips smacking clear across the room. “Shit, with all the drama we have to put up with up in here, we all need a fuckin’ vacation.”
“Word up!” Yo-Yo exclaimed.
“Momma’s not home right now anyway. She’ll be back in a few weeks,” I informed Boom.
“Cool, I’ll give her a call then.”
“She’d like that.”
I drowned them out for a few moments while they started talking shit about this homosexual brother who had opened up a salon around the corner from Boom. She wasn’t feeling that at all, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if she was already devising plans to sabotage his business. She’d never be stupid enough to talk about that out in the open though. Calling him names was one thing; revealing actual covert operations was another thing altogether. Either way, I wouldn’t have put it past her.
I was thinking about Momma. She was in a treatment center in Atlanta that specialized in not only rehabilitation, but they offered serious psychological counseling as well. Not the basic stuff they had at most centers; really intense counseling. I was hoping that Momma could face her demons, get over my father, and move on with her life. I’d told Yardley and Chance about my dad. It felt funny to even be able to refer to someone as that; even though I never got the chance to know him.
I zoned back into the conversation in the shop when Tamu asked, “Rayne, when are you getting hitched? Have you set a date?”
“November,” I responded. “Early November.”
Jada, another regular Thursday customer, said, “I still can’t believe your ass is gettin’ married; leaving all the rest of us heifers single to wrestle over the pitbulls.”
Yo-Yo said, “Humph, there are a couple of poodles out there you can tame before they become vicious.”
Boom took the comb she was using on me and started swinging it from left to right in the air. “Shit! Ain’t no poodles nowhere ’round here. Not unless they’ve got a little sugar in their bowls.”
“Boom, I want you to start thinking about a special hairstyle for my wedding day.” I didn’t even comment on what they were saying. I’d found my man; they were on their own. “You know I love the way you hook me up every Thursday, but I want to walk down the aisle and blow Yardley’s mind.”
Boom said, “I’ve always got your back, girl.”
“When do we get to meet Mr. Magnificent?” Tamu asked.
Yo-Yo stopped folding towels over by the bank of sinks for a few seconds. “Yeah, I’m dying to see what he looks like. I bet he’s megafine.”
I laughed. “Megafine? Is that a new word?”
“Girl, megafine means a man can make you cream all over yourself by just looking at you,” Yo-Yo answered.
“Damn, that is fine,” Jada commented. “I’d like to see something that fucking fine.”
Boom suddenly froze in her tracks and stared at the door. “Speaking of which!”
I glanced at the door in time to see Yardley saying, “Hello, ladies.”
Yo-Yo came running to the front. “Hey there.”
“What’s up, baby?” Jada asked him.
“Can we help you?” Boom inquired. Her voice had become noticeably softer.
“No, you can’t help him.” I got up from her chair and reached in
my pocket for the money I already had counted out and prepared to give her. I handed it to Boom, then went to Yardley and slipped my arm underneath his elbow. “Boom, Yo-Yo, Tamu, ladies, I’d like you to meet my fiancé, Yardley Brown.”
“Oh, my goodness!” Boom yelled out as a collective sigh echoed through the salon. “No wonder you didn’t want to be bothered with Conquesto.”
Yardley looked down at me. “Conquesto.”
“Long story,” I told him. “Tell you later.”
Tamu must’ve hovered over the floor because I didn’t see her coming. Miraculously, she was standing a foot from us when she’d been in the back of the salon a minute ago. She reached out and shook Yardley’s free hand. “So you’re the brother who swept Miss Rayne off her feet.”
Yardley let my hand fall so he could entwine his fingers with mine. “It was more like her sweeping me off my feet.”
“Aw, she rocked your world, huh?” Tamu asked, winking at him.
He winked back. “She rocks it every chance she gets.”
“Quit. You’re embarrassing me,” I said, pulling Yardley toward the door. “Thanks again for everything, Boom.”
“See you next week, Rayne.”
As we were exiting, we heard Tamu say, “Girlllllll, that man is so fine, I’d lick motor oil off his ass.”
After the door had closed behind us, we both laughed.
“Looks like you’re a hit.”
“Come here and give me a kiss.” Yardley drew me to him and laid one on me. “You look beautiful.”
“And you look handsome.”
I’d intentionally asked Yardley to pick me up from the salon that night so the sisters could see a little eye candy. I was proud of him, and wanted them to see what fineness he possessed. I didn’t plan to invite them all to the wedding, just Boom, but I didn’t want them to miss out on getting to meet him. I’d driven my car home after work and caught a cab to get there.
“Have you decided what you want for dinner?” he asked.
I looked at the digital clock on the building across the street. It was well after nine. “It’s kind of late, so something light.”
“What about Chinese? That goes in and an hour later, it’s gone.”
“Sounds good. I’d love some chicken lo mein.”
“How’s your mother?” he asked.
“I spoke to her today. She’s hanging in there.”
“Great!”
“I also talked to her counselor for a few minutes.”
“And?”
“He said every day’s a struggle for Momma. She’s not used to having her time regulated and being told what to do.” That was an understatement if I’d ever heard one. I could picture Momma down there raising holy hell when someone told her to get up at 7 A.M. for breakfast. She probably hadn’t seen the sunrise in a decade. The discipline was good for her; she needed it.
“Well, at the end of the day, she’ll be much better off.”
“Let’s hope so,” I said. “The next thing I need to do is get her a better job. The one she has is depressing.”
“Any thoughts?”
“Yes, a few. I spoke to a friend of mine from college who runs an accounting firm in Birmingham. Momma can’t crunch numbers but my friend, Brook, said she might be able to use her for filing or mild typing.”
“That’s cool.”
“If that doesn’t work out, Brook knows a lot of business owners, through networking, who might be able to help out.”
We’d made it down the street to Yardley’s car. As he unlocked the door, he said, “Mom wants to know when you want to go select a china pattern.”
“I don’t even see why we need china; neither one of us cooks on a regular basis.” The fact of the matter was that I didn’t cook at all. That’s why I kept every carryout menu imaginable in my kitchen drawer.
“And when we do, we use paper plates,” Yardley said, speaking of the few times when he’d prepared dinner for me. They were simple meals—once it was Hamburger Helper—but he was still a step ahead of me.
“I know that’s right,” I said in agreement.
“Make Mom happy. She’s relishing helping you plan the wedding. This is her only shot at it since I’m an only child.” He closed the door for me after I’d gotten into the passenger side. As he walked around the car to get in, my heart sank. I was planning my wedding and Momma wasn’t around. After he’d climbed in beside me, he said, “I’m sorry, baby. I know you wish Arjay could help plan it, too.”
“It’s okay,” I lied. “She’ll be out in time for the wedding. That’s all that matters.”
“Have you picked out your wedding dress yet?” he asked as he started the car.
“Yes, I finally decided on one.”
“What does it look like?”
I giggled. “Let’s try ‘none of your business.’ ”
“Cute.”
“If I tell you what the dress looks like, it’ll ruin the surprise. The point is that I’m supposed to blow you away the day of the wedding so you’ll never forget how I appeared walking down the aisle; even fifty years from now; when I’m old, gray, and my tits are down on my knees.”
“Fifty years from now, you’ll be just as beautiful to me as you are today.”
“Remember you said that shit when it’s time for me to get dentures.”
“Hey, eventually I’ll probably become impotent. Will you still love me then?”
“Sure. Think about it. We’ve got Viagra now. Imagine what kind of shit they’ll invent by then.”
We both laughed.
“Well, right now I don’t need any Viagra.” He took my hand and placed it in his lap. His dick was hard. “You feel that?”
“How could I miss it?”
“Still want dinner?”
I started rubbing him. “No, I only want you.”
“Your place or mine?”
“Mine.”
“We need to decide where we’re going to live.”
“Your penthouse is a hell of a lot bigger than my apartment.”
“I know, but I’m thinking we need to go house hunting.”
I was stunned. “House hunting?”
“Yeah, I plan to have you knocked up by the spring so we’re going to need more space. Plus, children don’t need to be in high-rises; especially not on the penthouse level.”
Damn, he was ready to have kids already! I tried to envision myself pregnant, with a bad back, and carrying thirty or forty extra pounds on my poor knees. I sure hoped they had cute maternity clothes. I’d never bothered to check into it.
“Earth to Rayne! Earth to Rayne!”
“Sorry, I was tripping off that knocked up by spring comment.”
“We’re not getting any younger.”
“True. I guess I’m ready for kids, but you’re taking the night shift. You know how I love to get my sleep.”
I was serious about that comment. I didn’t play when it came to getting my beauty rest; I never had. If I didn’t sleep but four or five hours a night, I slept like a rock when I did. The odds of me hearing a baby crying in another room—nursery monitor or not—were slim to none.
“I’ll take all the shifts, if I have to. I can’t wait to see what you and I will look like blended into one.”
“Should be an interesting combination.”
“You still have that chocolate whipped cream in the fridge?” Yardley asked as we headed for my place.
“Yeah. Why?”
“Just contemplating the possibilities.”
He reached over and started rubbing my clit through my pants while I continued to fondle him.
“Contemplate away,” I whispered. “Contemplate away.”
Thirty-two
Yardley
September 2004
There’s nothing like birthday sex. Rayne and I brought my thirtieth one in with a bang. We spent the evening before addressing our wedding invitations. Two months from the wedding and counting, so it was time to send them out. I c
ould tell she was getting frustrated with the wedding plans. Not because she didn’t want a nice wedding. The details were overwhelming her. Mom wanted a seating chart for the reception and Rayne was already stressing over who to sit beside who. She didn’t want anyone to be offended if they weren’t close enough to the head table. It was such a big deal that many of my relatives were already requesting tablemates and they hadn’t even been officially invited yet.
We finally finished them about eleven that Wednesday night. Both of us had to work the next day but we were determined to follow the wedding planner timeline and get them out two months beforehand.
“Whew, that was a job and a half,” Rayne said, yawning and stretching as she got up off my living room floor. “I’m about ready to turn in.”
“Aw, you can’t go to sleep now. In exactly one hour, I’ll be thirty.”
“So you were born at midnight?” Rayne joked.
I laughed. “Actually, I’ve never known what time of day I was born. I’m not even sure if it was morning, noon, or night. I’ll have to ask Mom.”
“I’ve never understood why people always celebrate birthdays right on the second; especially adults. Kids are usually asleep.”
“Adults are glad to make it to another year.”
“Maybe that’s it.” Rayne shook her head. “Damn, thirty. Next year it’ll be my turn.”
“But you don’t look a day over twenty.”
She grinned at me. “Flattery will get you everywhere.”
“Will it get me some birthday booty?”
She got back down on the floor, pushed me down, and straddled me. “Birthday booty. Is that different from ordinary booty? From daily booty?”
I reached around her with both hands and caressed her ass. “I don’t know. Why don’t we wait about forty-seven more minutes and find out.”
“Why wait forty-seven more minutes?” She lifted my shirt and started pinching my nipples. “We can get started now and, by the time midnight rolls around, we can be rumpling the sheets.”