by Robin Roseau
That's when I looked at Christianna as I pulled it on. "That's why you hate it. You can't tie it closed in back or clutch it about you."
"I am convinced they make you wear this to keep you a little uncomfortable," she said with a grin, answering in Talmonese instead of English.
"Vulnerable."
"Meek."
"Complacent." I grinned. "They haven't met me before."
She laughed. "That's my girl."
"Very good," said the medic once I was ready. "We need to collect some samples."
"What kind of samples?"
"Um." She handed me a little cup. "The head is there."
I looked at the cup. I looked at the medic. "What do you want me to do with this?"
She used a word I didn't know. I looked at Christianna. "I'm sorry, I don't know the Talmonese word," she said. "You. Um. Use the water closet."
"Into this little cup?"
"A half cup is enough," said the medic. "If you have more, you can relieve yourself as you might normally."
I looked back and forth between them. "You two are joking, right?"
"I absolutely promise no jokes," Christianna said. "They can tell a great deal from that. You would not believe the things they can tell."
"I think you're both playing with the naïve native girl." Then I shrugged, hopped off the table, and walked to the door in question. There was no handle, but there was a pad next to the door, similar to the ones on our bungalows. I waved a hand over it, and the door opened automatically, the door disappearing into the wall.
The inside didn't look exactly like any water closet I had ever seen. I waved my hand over the panel to close the door and called for the lights. Then I sat down. It took some contortions to fill the little cup, and I realized there was one thing that was probably easier for men.
It took a minute to figure out how to turn the water on. I recognized a faucet, but I couldn't tell how to produce water. Finally when I waved my hands around it enough, it began to flow, and I washed my hands.
I couldn't find soap. And then I couldn't find towels to dry my hands.
I wasn't very impressed with their water closet. I dried my hands on the sides of the gown then opened the door and carried the little cup back outside. The medic was waiting, holding out a little tray. I set the cup down, she added a lid to it, then marked it with a pen before stepping into another room. She was back nearly immediately.
"Okay," she said. "Now I need you back on the table, sitting for now."
I took the place where she pointed. "I need to take a little..." Another word I didn't know.
I looked at Christianna. "You're not going to like this," she said in Talmonese. "She's going to keep using words you don't know in English and I don't know in Talmonese."
I sighed and turned to the medic. "Just tell me what you need me to do."
"Are you right-handed or left?"
"I don't know what that means."
"Do you prefer doing things with your right hand or your left?"
"Oh. Right."
"Then I need your left arm." She took my arm, tucking it under her own. "This is unpleasant, but it is safe. No one likes it. Some people prefer to look away. I'm going to poke you with a needle."
"Why do you want to do that?"
"More tests."
"You want to know if it hurts when you poke me with a needle? I can already tell you that. It does."
She smiled briefly.
But Christianna moved to stand beside the table. She took my right hand and said, "Chaladine, look into my eyes." I turned to her. She held my hand. "Just look into my eyes and ignore what she is doing. It's a little prick, a little uncomfortable, but not so bad. I've had this done a great many times, too." She continued to talk to me, and I tried to ignore what the medic was doing.
I didn't care for the little prick, but Christianna kept talking calmly. When I tried to look at what the medic was doing, she used her free hand to turn my face back to her, then she kept her fingers on my chin, encouraging me not to turn away.
The medic did other things. I can't even describe them. Christianna told me to just ignore her. She asked me questions about Talmon, then let me ask questions about her home. We talked, and we talked.
Then the medic said, "I need to listen to your chest."
"It doesn't talk," I replied.
"No talking." Then she reached inside the gown with a cold piece of metal, and I pulled away.
"I'm sorry," she said. "Hold still." And so I let her press the metal against me, and when she told me to take a breath, I took a breath. Then she moved to my back, pressing the metal in more places, telling me to breath now and then.
"All right," she said finally. "Good. Lie down on your back. I'm going to touch you."
"You've been touching me. Are you alone, Lieutenant Griffon?"
"Excuse me? I'm here with the two of you."
"She is asking if you are in a relationship," Christianna said.
"Oh. Um. Is that pertinent?"
Christianna's lips were quivering.
"You are touching me very intimately," I said. "Perhaps this is a strange Imperial courting ritual I haven't learned yet."
Christianna offered a small laugh, but the medic looked nervous.
"I like women," I added. "And you're very attractive."
"Chaladine," Christianna said. "You shouldn't tease her."
"She's four hundred years old," I said. "You all are. She should be able to handle me."
"Actually, I'm twenty-seven," said the medic.
"Oh. I'm sorry."
"It's all right. Please lie down now."
I rotated on the table. Christianna went back to telling me a story about when Cecilia was a child, and I largely ignored the medic, paying just enough attention to do whatever she told me to do.
"All right. You can sit up. The doctor will be back in a minute or two."
The medic slipped away. I sat up, then pulled my feet up and wrapped my arms around my knees.
"It's not so bad," Christianna said.
In response, I set my head on my knees and looked sideways at her. I didn't say anything.
"Chaladine?"
"You understood everything she wanted. A child of seven would have understood. I didn't understand any of it."
"A child of seven will have been poked and prodded like this since birth," she replied. "And that child probably doesn't understand anymore than you do why she is being poked. But she has stopped asking why, why, why."
"Are people like Delilah common?"
"That's a hard question to answer. You will find that people away from Talmon are not as trustworthy, on average. There are people like my daughter. There are people like Delilah. There are people who are far worse. Most people are good people. Even Delilah is not a bad person, but what empathy she has she uses to get what she wants from people."
"Maddalyn warned me about her."
"Maddalyn is the woman from Frantzland?"
"Yes. She's a good friend. Cecilia once said she has known Anna White for a long time, and Anna is some sort of aunt to Maddalyn. But if Anna is from Centos Four, and Maddalyn is from Frantzland, how did that happen?"
"Anna's family and our family have known each other for a very, very long time," Christianna explained. "But you understand people sometimes leave Centos Four, sometimes for a while, sometimes for a long time."
"Ah. And Anna left."
"Yes."
"I guess that should have been obvious."
"There is nothing wrong with asking, even when the answer becomes obvious. There could have been other explanations."
"I suppose so." I looked around for a minute, then back to Christianna. "Does my fear amuse you?"
"Oh Darling, of course not. I don't blame you one bit. This is all very strange to you. I can't really imagine."
"I'm just an ignorant child to you. It took me forever to figure out how to turn the water on in the water closet, and then I couldn't find towels
to dry my hands."
"Do you think that's how I measure you, based on whether you know how to turn on the water?"
I looked away. "Do you think I was foolish to ask Cecilia to trade me?"
"I do not understand this custom," she said. "I do not understand why you didn't just ask her to send you to school. She would have. I don't think she understands, either."
"Have you seen how Sartine treats her?"
"I adore my daughter-in-law," she replied. "I can't imagine anyone treating Cecilia as well as she does."
"You've seen? Sartine takes care of her. She sees to her needs. She protects her, sometimes from herself. That is what a galatzi trade is supposed to be. The prize is taken from home and may never see her family again. Or his family. We trade both men and women. Not all galatzi prizes are treated the way Sartine treats Cecilia, and sometimes it gets turned around, depending upon the nature of the people involved."
"But you'll be going further than anyone from Talmon has gone before, and you want to know the woman who takes you will take care of you, when you are so far from home."
I nodded slowly. "It's foolish. She won't know this tradition. She won't understand. She can't understand." I sighed. "When I asked, I didn't know English. Now I know English, and I thought maybe I could take care of myself. But I can't do anything by myself."
"Do you know Belain and her family?"
"That's the woman who Cecilia sent to you. I don't know her though."
"Cecilia sent them to me. She didn't warn me. Suddenly they showed up with a letter from my daughter. But Cecilia knew it would be okay, because she knows something about me."
"What is that?"
"While the Talmonese way of welcoming someone is not necessarily common throughout the galaxy, that is the way it is in my home."
"You took care of Belain."
"Yes. I took care of Belain, and her family. They stayed with us for a while. They knew very little English, and I knew no Talmonese at all. So they stayed with us, but now they are self-sufficient, and they live nearby."
"That's how you learned Talmonese so well."
"Cecilia had a program for me, but yes, it took long, long conversations with Belain."
"Should I have asked her to send me to you?"
"She probably considered it. She talked to me about it. But I think it's not just that you want to be taken care of. This is the nature of the relationship you want, isn't it?"
"Yes, but it's not what I'm going to get. She's not going to understand."
"Maybe she won't, but I am fairly sure my daughter will explain very carefully."
"You haven't said if I was foolish. I suppose it doesn't matter. She accepted my trade. She gave me Maddalyn."
"I thought Maddalyn was with that other woman, that young one."
"Kalorain." I nodded. "She was a galatzi prize. It is very unusual to give one galatzi prize to another one, but Father hadn't selected anyone for her, and so it was okay. I arranged the trade though. Both trades, actually. You heard -- Father sometimes had me arrange galatzi trades."
"Oh, I see what you meant."
"So Cecilia let me have Maddalyn, and she said if I backed out after that, then Sudden owes her any two people she chooses. She could take anyone who isn't in a relationship and send them away. I can't let her do that; I can't let someone else take my place. That would be wrong. So I have to go."
"You know she would release you from this promise."
"I don't want her to. I just want you to tell me if I was foolish."
She smiled. "I don't understand all your reasons. I do not believe you were foolish. Perhaps somewhat confusing, but not foolish. But you asked Cecilia. If you had asked Delilah, I would have another answer."
I laughed. "I'm not that foolish."
We talked quietly for a few more minutes, then the door opened, and the doctor returned. She smiled. "You appear quite healthy," she said. "I'm just going to check a few things myself." Then she did many of the tests the medic had done, although she didn't stick me with any more needles or ask me to piddle into any more cups.
"All right," she said finally. "There are a few tiny things they will deal with when you first attend rejuvenation, but nothing at all serious. I am a ship's doctor, and not one who specializes in things like women's issues or childbirth, so I'm not going to do that sort of exam."
I started to ask, then shut my mouth. Christianna squeezed my hand.
"I am going to give you an..." and there was another word I didn't know. "It will make you immune to the sort of pheromones you've encountered."
"Commander," said Christianna. "She may want you to make the individual in question smell somewhat foul. Can you do that?"
"Perhaps. It would be easier if we had a sample from her."
"We do." Christianna reached into her purse and removed a small, clear bag. It had an undershirt. "She wore this last night. Is that recent enough?"
"Yes." The commander turned to me. "I can neutralize the pheromones so you do not react to them. You will still smell them, and they will smell the same. But they will not cloud your senses. I cannot promise the woman in question doesn't have other ways to cloud your mind, however."
"Like what?"
"Well, I take it you have been intimate with her for a period of time."
"Yes."
"Then your brain associates her scent and her voice with everything else you've been experiencing. And so you will still react to her, but it is basically your memory reacting for you. If you experience something pleasurable over and over in a certain setting, then you begin to associate the setting with the pleasurable experience. Do you see?"
"We do that when training animals. We click our tongue at them and reward them for good behavior, and they learn that the clicking means food."
"Exactly the same," she said. "You know that her scent brings the pleasure of the pheromones."
"I-" I paused. "Christianna, Cecilia wants me to do this over dinner. I believe if I find Delilah revolting, it will be more difficult for me to play my part. I will be able to control my reactions. I think." I looked at the doctor. "Won't I?"
"It depends on your strength of will."
"What does that mean?"
"She wants to know if you are stubborn."
"Oh." I smiled. "Yes. Quite."
"Well, I think we should analyze this," she said, waving the shirt. "Just to be assured there aren't any surprises waiting for us. If you like, you can get dressed, and I can arrange a tour of Darkside for you."
"How long will this take?"
"Perhaps an hour or so. Then we'll have you on your way."
"I'd like a tour," I said.
Breaking Up
They dropped me off the same way they picked me up, and I was hurried into the same bungalow. Cecilia was already waiting. She thanked Colonel Blue, who stepped out, and then Cecilia, Christianna, and I sat down to talk.
"Well, it appears you are quite healthy, but we knew that. Delilah has been looking for you while you were gone."
"I'm not surprised. She wants to sink her hooks deeper. I don't understand why."
"Because it amuses her," Cecilia said. "She'll throw you away when she leaves, and probably cruelly besides."
"Why? Why be cruel? We both knew it was temporary, anyway. Well, I wasn't sure if you intended to give me to her, but you know what I mean."
"I don't know why," she said. "Chaladine, I don't need an excuse to ship her off the planet, but I do need an excuse to forcibly remove her ability to continue to do this to anyone else. She hasn't done anything illegal, at least not that I can prove, but what she does is morally reprehensible."
"You need her to try to do it to you."
"Yes. Because then she's trying to drug a government official in the performance of her duties."
"Isn't that what she's done with me? Aren't I a government official? I work for you."
"Yes, but other than occasionally trying to get you to give less attention to you
r duties than you might otherwise, she hasn't tried to stop you from doing something you should. She may not try it on me tonight, but I think she will."
"She's going to try to seduce you?"
"No, but she'll fire up her pheromone generator, and then she'll try to brush against me."
"What do you need me to do?"
"I need her off balance. She knows when you've been away from her, you're able to clear your head."
"So if I avoid her until dinner, she's going to know my head is clear and will expect me more resistant. But if I let her find me and treat her like I have been..." I sighed. "Is this what you want?"
She looked away. "I'm using you."
"She's been drugging me," I said. "That's not a nice thing to do."
"No, it's not."
"You're asking me to go have sex with her."
"No. You have duties. Let her find you while you're doing them."
I looked away. "It's not the Talmonese way to do something like this. You want me to lie to her. With my body. That's worse than lying with words." I sighed. "I'm doing this my way. Or I can hide until dinner."
"You can't tell her you're breaking up with her. You have to let her believe she still has you. I need this in front of an audience. I don't have everything lined up yet."
"I'm trusting you a great deal. I guess you'll just have to trust me."
"I do," she said immediately. "Of course. Now, what are you going to tell her when she asks where you've been?"
"Helping you arrange surprises for this evening, and because they are surprises, I can't talk about them."
"Bravo," she replied. "Perfect."
"It's convenient that Darkside is here."
"You don't really believe it's convenience, do you?" she asked. "Do you believe I would leave this to chance. I timed your trip here around Darkside's schedule."
I laughed. "Always five steps ahead of me."
"I learned the importance of staying ahead."
* * * *
My tablet beeped. It was Delilah, her fifth attempt to reach me. I answered it. "Hey," I said. "I'm sorry. I've been running everywhere. How was Indartha?"
"Hello, Darling," she said. "I am a little unhappy you didn't meet our jumper."
"I am sorry. Cecilia had me here and there, I wasn't sure where I was or anything."