by J. Armand
“Not in public.” I shoved my way through the crowd, growing more frantic every second.
“What is wrong?” he asked as he followed after me.
“You can’t act like that with people around,” I told him as soon as we got past the initial group of people.
“Why? I do not understand.” He went to touch my arm, but I moved back.
“I just want to leave.” I kept looking for an exit until Gianluca made one for us through the shadows. I’m sure that freaked out some spectators.
“What did I do? You are so cold now.” We were back in the hotel room and I finally felt like I could breathe again.
“I don’t know what it was like back in your Rome, but the world is different now. You can’t be like that with me when other are people around.” I stood at the opposite side of the room. This was the furthest apart we’d been physically in the same space since we met.
“Why? You are embarrassed of me?” He looked completely lost, like he was waiting for me to say I was joking. I was angry with him at first for putting me in that situation and not understanding, but it wasn’t his fault.
“No, it’s not you, it’s what you’re doing. People don’t do that.”
“This does not make sense. I see the romance all the time.”
“Not between guys.” I sat on the bed and ran my hands through my hair, frustrated that I couldn’t explain myself, and even more so that I had to. “People now days don’t want men to be together. It’s men with women only.”
“But, I like you, a man. Why does this matter what the people want? They are jealous?”
“It’s got nothing to do with jealous. They hate us because they think it isn’t normal. We’re different, just like why we can’t use our powers around them.”
“I use the powers all the time.”
“Maybe that was a bad example. You can’t use your powers either, because people will get scared. When people are scared they get violent.”
“I think you are worried to be hurt, but this will not happen with me. I will not allow it.”
“You can’t fight millions – billions – of people.”
“Yes, if they try to hurt you, then why not? I am strong and they are weak. In my Rome as you call it, it does not matter if you love the man or the woman. If you want the baby and family, then yes you look for the woman and love her. But, if you love the man this is not bad. I like you very, very much, but how can I show you this if you say to hide?”
“I like you too, but we can’t let other people know. Something changed after your Rome so that now people don’t accept love as anything but man and woman. They think it’s evil and gross for two men or two women to love each other.”
“This cannot be serious? Love is never evil. I hide in the shadows for enough years, I do not want to do this anymore. I am happy to be back here and be with you. If the people want to hate a good feeling then maybe they are the evil one, no?”
“Maybe some of them. I think most are just confused or believe what they’re told by the evil ones. Like how you were tricked.”
“Then we will find the ones who tell these lies and stop them.” Gianluca’s expression shifted from befuddlement to anger. I might have made a mistake bringing up his former masters.
“That’s impossible, even for you. There are so many and there’s no way to tell who’s misinformed and who’s spreading the hate on purpose. The Catholic Church is always preaching it, but I don’t think they’re evil. I think they’re just scared because of what they read in the Bible. they think God only wants men and women to be in love.”
“Oh, oh…” Gianluca’s face changed again to an expression I had seen once before, when Rozalin outed his true identity. “This is still here? The Church?”
“Of course it’s still here, what do you mean?”
“Er… maybe you will be mad.”
“What? What else could possibly trump mass genocide?”
“The Senatus, when they make me kill the people, I hear their plan. They say to the emperor we will need the soldiers, soldiers for Roma. We must make the citizen have the babies to replace the evil I killed. They want me to destroy the temples of the old gods to show there is no hope for the old evil ways. They say the old gods allow too much bad to happen, they are weak, but they have a new god. The emperor and the new church tell the people, only with man and woman in the bed. Then they write this. But, this is just for now, to make more citizens. I do not think this still happens? There is no empire and there are very many more people today.”
My stomach and heart sank further than ever before. I was dating, if you wanted to call it that, one of the men responsible for the persecution of our own kind.
“Gianluca, what you did didn’t stop there. Your actions and those of your masters sent ripples through history that turned into a tidal wave of hate against people who just wanted to be in love.”
“I did not know this. I only hear a piece of it and I think I do not understand it. It sound to me like a celebration for love. It make sense then, there needs to be children to keep the empire alive. It was a warning not a crime. When I wake up to kill the Senatus later, in the time with the knights, I still see the Church. I think when I kill them it stops, but the building just stay like the Colosseum.”
“No, people still believe that. That warning turned into a crime and then a war against love that’s lasted centuries.”
“I will fix this. I will find the way to make it right.”
“I told you, you can’t. There’s no way one person can stop it no matter how strong you are, unless you plan on killing everyone again and starting over.”
“Then I will not use strength, I will use my head and my heart until it is better.”
“I’ve heard the Catholic or Christian God was around much longer than that. He’s the one that cursed the undead to not walk in the sunlight to protect humans from them during the day. The Senatus couldn’t have made Him up.”
“No, I do not think this. They pretend to be one of His men after the empire. They trick the people to fear him like they fear me when I leave, so they can be the ruler. If the people does not do what they say, then the God will punish them.”
“Hopefully God is getting his revenge on the Dark Senatus for using his name for evil.”
“If He is the one to make the undead like this, then maybe he is the one to take it away when I sleep? I wish all the time to be a good man again, but there was no old gods to pray to when I destroy their temple and their people.”
“You can’t pray to become good. You have to make a choice and do it, which you did by escaping and stopping the Senatus.”
“Yes, maybe this is true.” Gianluca sat on the bed beside me, not touching me. “I will make it okay. Do not worry. Even if you do not like me, I will not let the people hurt you.”
“I do like you. It’s just hard to express it.”
He placed his hand on my leg cautiously. “Is this okay?”
“Yes.” I nodded in agreement. He was trying so hard. This was confusing enough for me; I couldn’t imagine what was going through his head. He had been used as a pawn, a common concept even for someone as powerful as himself. It wasn’t his fault, but now I felt bad he was assuming the weight on his shoulders alone to fix it. I hugged him first for the first time.
“Is this why you are so shy?” he asked as he embraced me.
“I wasn’t always. I had a good childhood and was a happy kid. When I grew up and found out what made me different I started having to hide pretty much everything about myself. Friends left me. I was scared I would disappoint my parents. The only guy I ever dated used me as a dirty secret.”
“You are a good person, you should not have to hide. When you are scared you can stay here in my arms where it is safe.” He kissed the top of my head. Again, Gianluca had a strong yet soothing way of making everything all right.
He picked me up like I weighed nothing and sat me on his lap. He carefully started to unw
rap my bandages to check whether I had healed.
“I can do it,” I argued, and pulled away to finish myself.
“So stubborn. I think you are not the chick, you are the bull with the horns. The small one though.”
“I’ll take that. It’s better than a chick.” I held one of the bandages in my teeth while I worked on the next. He tugged on it like he was playing tug-of-war with a dog, so I growled at him and made him laugh.
“I think maybe you are both. The chick with the horns.” He was very amused with himself. He rested his chin on my shoulder while I worked and I kind of liked it. “Why do you laugh?”
“Your stubble is tickling me.”
“What is a stubble?” He knew because he made it worse by scratching my neck with it even more.
“This, your scruff.” I ran my hand along it and tickled him back under his chin making him scrunch his nose.
He was such an amazing guy. I was glad to have gotten everything off my chest, but hoped it didn’t put the entire burden on him now. I was lucky to be around him at all and he made me feel hopeful for the future. If there is some great big cycle and history is bound to repeat itself, then maybe love will be unshackled from hate and judgment once again, I thought.
“You are looking much better.” He traced his fingers along my forearm, giving me the chills. The cuts and scrapes had all healed. Only the deepest puncture wounds had a bit left to go. “This feels good?”
“Yes.” Now I was blushing again. I could feel it. When would that stop? I was annoyed that my body had a mind of its own. I wasn’t the type of person to like being tickled either. I hated not being in control, but with him it felt okay.
“I would like to show you more of Roma, but I think I need a rest. While you sleep I search for the Easterners’ home and I check for your friend to be safe too, so I do not get the rest.”
“You slept for centuries! You don’t get any more rest,” I joked.
“You are too cruel to me, baby chick.” He flashed me a sad puppy-dog look. “There is no time in the shadows. To me it was only one night, maybe two. I can only tell what happen when I look out and listen to the world.”
I had a hard time paying attention. Our lips were dangerously close again and I kept looking away and then back. I thought my head would fall off. I had one arm over his shoulder and was in a compromised position on his lap that I couldn’t easily escape from.
“Will you like to sleep with me?”
“Um, what?” I stared into his eyes, shocked by this new level of assertiveness from him.
“Here in the bed. To sleep. You will be tired in the night if you are awake now, no?” I had a feeling from his devilish grin that he knew exactly what I thought he meant. It was already afternoon, so it was a good idea to get some additional rest.
“Okay, but you better keep your clothes on.”
Chapter Eighteen
“Gianluca?” I called into the shadows. I had half expected him to break his word. I thought I would wake up to him semi-nude and gazing at me with bedroom eyes, but he wasn’t even in the room. The clock on the nightstand said it was already 2 AM. I had overslept in a bad way and was worried that Gianluca had gone on his own to stop the invaders from the East.
I wasn’t used to oversleeping, or sleeping much at all. Even after the events at the Colosseum I still had no trouble falling asleep and staying that way without night terrors. I didn’t think I’d be able to fall asleep next to someone, either. I had never done it before, unless you count camping with my parents, and felt uneasy about the connotations it held with a stranger.
Gianluca was so much more forward than I was used to, not that I had been on very many dates to begin with. Aside from the architecture I knew very little about Ancient Rome, but I could imagine people hadn’t gone through much of a courting process when they were interested in someone. Between disease, war, and generally lower life expectancies, most couples probably got right to the point. It was hard to picture him back then. He seemed to have caught up so quickly.
I removed my bandages and called to Gianluca once more. I was fully healed and ready for battle. The shadows converged around me as I finished looking myself over and pulled me into the darkness. It was getting less frightening each time, thankfully.
“I think maybe you will not wake up for the many years too. You look very peaceful,” Gianluca greeted me as we exited the shadows. We were in the aisle of a huge library, still in Italy judging by the book titles.
“Sorry about that. I’m glad you didn’t leave for Japan without me.” He didn’t appear to be his usual happy self as he flipped thoughtfully through a book. “What are you reading?”
“I come to read the book on what I miss. I see the many different building and clothes and this does not bother me. When I learn the automobile and the human tecnologia, I think this is nice. It is the new magic.”
“Yeah, that’s a good way of putting it. I was just thinking how you’ve been fitting in well for someone gone for so long.” I thought my praise would change his mood, but he seemed rather distressed.
“Thank you. I think this too. These are just things, the clothes, the new building, but the people are very different. I think people do not change, but I am wrong.”
“Is this because of what happened at the Colosseum?” I asked. Some people entered the aisle, one replacing books on the shelf next to us.
“Yes, I want to learn the people, why this happens. I do not care so much for the others, but I do not want to make you mad with me. I want to live here now and know the new things, but there is many.” He showed me the book he was reading, but it made no sense to me in Italian. “It is the laws and some history.”
“Oh, Gianluca, you don’t have to do that, not for me. I guess this is harder on you than I thought. You just seemed to fit in so well, I assumed you understood most of what was going on. But it isn’t just the way people dress and talk that has changed.”
“I close my eyes to sleep and when I open them it is a new world. It is like a dream. Then I do it one more, and another new world today. I think I am maybe not the man good for you. I do not understand the things I need to be here.”
My heart hurt hearing that. I was poisoning him with my own self-consciousness. I only had myself to blame for pushing him away.
“That isn’t true. You’ve helped me so much. In only a few days of knowing you, you solved a problem I’ve had for years.” It was now or never. I could talk until the end of time and hope I got through to him, but only action would really change anything. I reached out and held his hand, fighting the butterflies in my stomach and the disorienting anxiety in my head. I didn’t want my courage to falter. I kept my eyes on him so I wouldn’t see the faces of the people around us.
“This is okay?” he asked with noticeable surprise on his face.
“Yeah. We’re the strong ones, right? The world doesn’t change when people hide. It’s up to us to set the example.” I checked to see if anyone was watching through the corner of my eye. Nobody seemed to care. Even if they did, what could they possibly do to us? I wouldn’t let fear and hate prohibit me from happiness. Not everyone out there is an unaccepting asshole. There were still the “Lyles” of the world out there.
“This makes me very happy, but I do not want you uncomfortable for me.”
“You’re worth it.” I smiled and squeezed his hand tighter. “And it will only make me stronger.”
“We will be strong together.” He gave me a much-welcomed hug. “Hm, I think I would like this book to learn more still… maybe this too.” He selected another from a stack he had made.
“You need a library card to borrow it,” I started to explain, but the two books disappeared from his hand like a magician’s vanishing act. “You can’t do that!”
“Shh, I only borrow it for the short time.” He put his finger to my lips and with a grin we also vanished into the shadows. We definitely just caused some hysteria among a whole bunch of people… again.
---
“What happened to you?” I asked in shock as Gianluca and I arrived in Noah’s room to find him slumped over against the wall and covered in blood. There was so much of it I couldn’t even see where it was coming from.
“The Eastern ones have come back?” Gianluca asked.
“Yeah,” Noah groaned after a few seconds without raising his head.
“I think we cannot take him with us like this.” Gianluca turned to me. “I will go alone. Stay to watch your friend. The enemies can come back here for him.”
“I don’t think it was them that did this…” I looked at the Muramasa lying on Noah’s bed. “I’ll go get him blood. Can you stay with him?”
Noah was remarkably compliant, only grunting in disapproval. That was a bad sign. For once I wanted a snarky quip.
“I am most honored you have decided to return to us, Gianluca.” Aurelia’s voice entered the room ahead of her along with the sweet smell of flowers before I could leave. “To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?”
She looked almost heavenly, with her ankle-long brunette hair let down behind her and adorned with a wreath of lilacs atop her head. Her white embroidered lace gown hovered somewhere between the purity of a maiden and the promiscuity of a French courtesan, most notably in the corset area.
“We come for Noah,” Gianluca replied. “I think he has the information to stop our enemy?”
“We’re taking him with us,” I added. “Far, far away from here.”
“I wish only to help in any way I can, but I believe my loyal guard to be indisposed at the moment.” She was a good actress, I had to give her that. I would almost believe she cared if I didn’t know her reputation.
“Gee, I wonder how that happened.” My glare was ignored by all but Noah, who shot me his own look to be silent from under his matted hair.
“Then you will join us?” Gianluca’s question surprised me. It surprised me even more when he took her by the hand and stared into her eyes longingly.
“I am no brave warrior like yourself.” Aurelia tilted her head away shyly. “There must be some other way I can be of assistance. I would gladly lend you my guard’s sword-arm were he capable, but alas-”