by Shen Hart
“It’s ok, T, you have us now.”
I patted his leg and laughed despite myself. “Yes, I suppose I do.”
The temperature dropped. I didn’t need to look behind me to see that Alex was having a silent standoff with Lee.
“Stop it. Both of you,” I snapped. “Lee, what do you know about the elf network and these rituals?”
“Um, I think Ark will be your best source, with him being an elf. However, there was supposed to be a network that formed with the ancient forest around here. It was the life-web of the ancient forest. Things have changed since then, though.”
Alex paced back and forth, his feet heavy on the floor.
“Alexei, sit down and think. There are things that need to be discussed and arranged.” I kept my tone cold and clipped. I didn’t have the energy for their shit.
The pacing stopped immediately, but it was a moment before the room began warming up and he took a seat opposite me.
“Lee, sit down. If you’re going to be here with us, then you can make yourself useful.”
He sat at the chair farthest from the group, his eyes scanning everyone present. His muscles were taut and ready to pull away. There was a slight hint of fear rolling off him. At least he didn’t plan on going on the offensive. I looked away from him before my desire to calm and protect him kicked in properly. The Sisters hadn’t put those words in his mouth, but they had put him in that situation, I reminded myself. I sighed softly.
Ryan cut through my thoughts, “So this network…”
Alex growled softly to himself. “My assumption is, it works much like the fae ones, but these are assumptions, so I may be wrong. That will mean that these locations are nodes, where a collection of lines comes together. I don’t know why eight days, although I wouldn’t put it past the angels inventing that just to screw with the humans. If they are nodes, then the energies will be a powerful well of earth energy combined with the life energy of the remaining forest.”
I frowned. “But earth energies don’t make sense for the ceremonies. If they were trying to pull in some ‘true’ non-human self, they’d need a mix of life, fire, and air. That coming together to act much like how a phoenix works, it wouldn’t work because they’re human but…”
“Ark will tell us. I’m sure he’ll arrive tomorrow morning, his little seer is probably relating this entire conversation back to him as we speak.”
Ryan’s eyes went wide. “Can Adam do that?”
I laughed softly and patted his knee. “I’m not sure. Some seers certainly could, if the conversation related to an event they needed to see.”
He swallowed hard and retreated into his thoughts. I felt it was best to leave the poor soul there.
“Nik will have to kill her, won’t he?” Dan’s words held a softer edge than I’d expected. It seemed that his stance on her being a worthless human had shifted, a least a touch.
Alex simply said, “Yes. If Ark’s here tomorrow, then hopefully he can help Nik do it quickly and painlessly.”
I simply nodded and rubbed my eyes. I’d allowed myself to grow far too attached to the girl. It was foolish, but it wouldn’t happen again.
Chapter Twenty-Six
We’d left Nik and Lucy alone to do as they pleased. I wanted to hold her close and stroke her hair, to pretend it would all be ok, but that wouldn’t do anyone any good. Lee barely said a word. He remained tense and nervous. Fortunately, the others ignored him. They were polite enough and didn’t try to poison his food, although I did have a brief second of wonder if Dan was going to try something. Alex managed to restrain himself from pacing and snarling, but it was clearly a huge effort. I took myself to bed early. I didn’t have the energy or mental fortitude to deal with it. I hoped the Sisters would suffer a cruel fate for what they had done, for stripping me of my chance to be a mother. I buried my face in my tail and tried to hide from it all in the comforting veil of sleep.
The morning came all too quickly, and Ark showed up just past dawn, as predicted. Lucy had stayed with Nik in his room, which gave Ark and me some alone time to catch up and discuss things before the others got up. He’d had the foresight to bring some soothing tea. I didn’t dare ask what was in it. It calmed my frayed nerves and eased away the exhaustion. That was all I needed to know. He sat a little closer than usual and quietly waited for me to finish my second cup of tea.
“I didn’t expect to become so attached to her. She was going to be some pet. And what the fuck are the Sisters doing sending Lee here!”
I should have thought that through. Lee peered around the doorway before he walked in. His hair was a mess, and he was wearing nothing but his boxers. I tried to hold back the smile that formed when I saw the faint pink lines over his abdomen from our last encounter.
“I don’t want to upset things, Thalia. You do know that, don’t you? Your happiness…”
Ark looked between us. I shrugged and carried on, “They had no right fucking things around like this! That poor girl has done nothing, she doesn’t deserve to suffer.”
“You’ll have your cubs, Suriel, one day.”
He appeared next to me and draped his arm over my shoulders. He was the only creature that could sneak up on me, and some days I hated him for it. I leaned into his arm and sighed softly. I was in a mess once again.
I swallowed back the tears. “How are you going to do it?”
Ark smirked. “Well, I have Adam, but I’m sure Lee or Alex would…”
I swatted his knee and laughed bitterly. “You know what I mean!”
He lowered his head before he met my eyes. “I’ve brought a poison that will disintegrate her energies almost immediately. She’ll fade away to the afterlife without any pain. It even tastes nice, I think. I haven’t, ya know, tried it myself.”
He hugged me tight when my lip wobbled again. I was being so absurd. She was just a human, yet she represented so much of what I’d lost, of what I desired. I took a deep breath and composed myself, reminding myself that I was an alpha and such behaviour was inappropriate. Lee sat down next to me. He remained close and stroked my back before I heard Alex’s familiar footsteps. He’d taken the time to get dressed. I glanced over to Lee to see him trying to cover his body before he looked away. After a second of indecision, he met Alex’s eyes and held the strong, aggressive eye contact while he opened his arms and wrapped one across my shoulders. He hid nothing and openly challenged Alex to make him change his behaviour.
I shook my head and focused back on Ark. “Do you know anything about an energy network tied into the forest?”
“Do not touch her.”
“Alexei, shut up. You will both be quiet, calm, and respectful of this day.”
I glared at Alex, who lowered his eyes and went about making breakfast. Lee remained tense, but left the room, I hoped to get dressed. Ark carried on as if nothing had happened. “I told you about it, a few times as it happens. You never do listen, do you, furball?”
I offered him a weak smile.
“As with most forests of this age, there is indeed an energy network. This one was an elf one, and yes the points that Lucy mentioned are, in fact, nodes. Although they won’t do the angels much good; all they’ll do is imbue the humans’ energies with the wild energy that flows through the forest… that’ll send them mad and feral.” His eyes went a little wider. “…which will make them like the berserkers. They’ll be insane and attack anything outside of their group. They’ll cause massive amounts of destruction.”
I shook my head. “Sounds like angels’ idea of fun to me.”
We all turned to look when Nik and Lucy came into the room. She had a faint glow about her cheeks, but she leant on Nik, who had his arm around her waist. Her eyes were slightly dull, but she did her best to smile.
“I’m ready.” She put her shoulders back and gave a firm nod. “I’m ready to see what happens next.”
I bit my bottom lip and looked to Ark. He pulled a small vial from his leather satchel and walked over to h
er.
“This will end things quickly. You’ll pass on within seconds of drinking this. It will be peaceful.”
She nodded. “I’d like to go into the garden. Please burn my body. I’ve always wanted to be a phoenix.”
I strode across the room and hugged her tight before I kissed her forehead, my bottom lip quivered as I looked into her eyes and saw the defiant bravery there. I’d have been proud to have had her as my daughter, and I clung onto the hope that maybe one day, I would have a daughter with her strength. I stepped aside and Nik took the vial from Ark. We allowed them to pass. They headed out into the garden. Ryan and Dan joined us. Lee wasn’t far behind them. He stood behind me, his arms loosely around my waist. I didn’t have the energy to feel conflicted. I needed the security of his body pressed against mine. We watched from the window as they said some quiet words to each other before she took the vial from Nik’s shaky hand. She kissed his knuckles before she threw the liquid back into her throat and gracefully sank into Nik’s arms. It was as Ark had promised. I hoped she found peace in the next stage.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
We gave Nik a few minutes peace to say goodbye and compose himself before we went out and joined him. Ryan rested his hand on Nik’s shoulder. He’d closed her eyes and laid her down on the grass. Alex knelt down opposite Nik and squeezed his arm. Without a word, he carefully lifted Lucy’s body (for that was all that was left of her, an empty shell) and carried her to a peaceful spot near the far wall. I trailed behind him, with Dan next to me. I reminded myself that I knew that she was in a better place. I’d been reincarnated a few times, I had a reasonable idea of what she’d be going through. I could almost see the wonder on her face as she looked around the white room that somehow managed to be ornate before she was guided by her personal guide. I couldn’t help but smile. She was in a better place. She was free.
Alex stood by her head and gathered up his air energies. I took a deep breath and glanced at Dan. He refused to look at her. I focused my mind and reached deep within to pull forward the roaring inferno of fire. She wanted to be a phoenix, and we would make her one. Dan’s fire intermingled with mine, feeding it, making it dance around us before Alex’s air made it combust and reach skywards. Her body was quickly consumed and taken up to the sky. I swore I saw the outline of the majestic bird soaring for a fleeting second and couldn’t help but smile. She was free, and one day I would be, too. I brushed my hand over the back of Dan’s in an unspoken thanks. He touched his fingertips to mine and allowed them to linger before I looked at Alex. Dan turned and walked back to Nik and co., leaving me to face Alex. I looked up into his eyes and put my shoulders back. I wanted to crumble, to plead him to give me a day, but I had to be strong. I couldn’t allow anyone to walk over me, him included.
He slowly walked over to me and tenderly brushed my hair out of my face, his eyes never leaving mine. They glistened slightly as he looked away.
“I will try, for you.”
With that, we turned together and rejoined the boys. Lee remained at a respectful distance with Ark. Ryan was trying to comfort Nik, who was taking it better than I had expected. Their eyes all contained fire.
“We will destroy those angels. They won’t shatter any more innocent lives.”
I didn’t think I’d heard Nik speak with such passion or venom before, and I saw no reason to calm it. He was right. The angels were a blight that needed to be extinguished.
Ark hugged me tight and patted Nik on the head before saying, “My condolences. I’ll be by tomorrow with a map of the network.”
I smiled and thanked him before I focused back on the situation at hand. I looked at each of the boys in turn.
“Lee has been sent to us. Like it or not, he is one of us now. You will treat each other with a calm respect. Understood?”
The cubs lowered their eyes and nodded, Lee held my eye contact with a smirk, and Alex simply glared at Lee. I sighed and went inside. It was going to be a long day. The cubs followed me, and the other two began shouting at each other. So much for trying. A quick look outside told me they’d had least had the dignity and self-control to not hit each other again. We sat in the living room. Nik held Lucy’s stuffed animal close as we sat in silence.
Finally Dan, who was sitting rather close to me, said, “What next?”
I squeezed my eyes shut before saying, “We keep our bonds strong. We are a pack. Those two are going to continue butting heads, but we can’t afford to allow that to split us again.” I looked around them. “We’ll train and prepare for a big conflict. Regardless of what the Sisters said, we’re going in with the aim to kill those angels.”
I ignored the burning electricity running through my throat from my choker. I was getting better at tuning their little punishments out. I wanted them to know what I was planning, and I hoped it terrified them.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Nik remained quiet and withdrawn for a couple of days. We all threw ourselves into our training, with only a couple of days left before the Sisters would allow us to get involved with the cult and slaughter the angels. Lee was working with Ark to figure out which nodes would be used when. I knew that the chances of us killing the angels at that meeting was unlikely. The boys weren’t ready, and we didn’t have enough information. We couldn’t know what we were getting ourselves into, not properly.
Ryan had mastered his air cushions and was proudly sneaking up on the others during our down time. It was a pleasant break from the intensity of the training and the dark cloud that hung over us. Lee and Alex continued sniping at each other. I’d succeeded in avoiding speaking properly to either of them, but I knew I couldn’t keep it up. Lee managed to find me alone in my bedroom while the others were doing some energy work with Alex. I was sitting in one of my wicker chairs, looking out over the forest. Small glimpses of green were starting to appear. Spring would be on its way. I hadn’t been able to shake off the feeling of loss from Lucy, not just losing her but the acceptance that I wouldn’t have the chance to become a mother. It was something I’d avoided thinking about for a long time, but I’d been around quite a while and it was harder and harder to ignore.
Lee sat in the other wicker chair next to me. “Talk to me, Suriel.”
I looked at him. His jade-green eyes had a little tarnish on them. No doubt wear and exhaustion from the constant fighting and pushing with Alex. He’d been through as much if not more than me. I placed my hand on top of his and smiled. “She was the closest thing I’ll ever get to a daughter, and they took that from me.”
He leaned in and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. “We’ll have our day, Suriel. I promise you that.”
I couldn’t relax into him like I could before, there was a lingering doubt and the memory of him fighting with Alex slipped into my mind. He brushed him thumb over my cheekbone and grazed my lips with his.
“I’m truly sorry, Suriel. I hope one day you can forgive me.”
I swallowed down the tears and looked away from him. One day, I would forgive him. I knew that it was the Sisters who brought it about, but they didn’t put the words in his mouth. They’d stripped away the sanctuary that had been his arms. I was left feeling adrift. He kissed my cheek tenderly before he left, leaving me with my thoughts once more. I couldn’t bear them for very long. The darkness crept into every crevice within my mind, slowly spreading and consuming the light. I cursed the Sisters in a few particularly venomous-sounding old languages as I walked down the stairs to rejoin the boys. I needed company. I needed noise.
I bumped into Dan, who offered me a smile and brushed his hand over mine. “Are you ok?”
The usual edge had left his eyes and his mouth sat in a small frown. I must have looked worse than I thought.
I simply shrugged. “The constant fighting is wearing.”
He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again without a word. I waited, but he stepped out of my way and followed me to join the others in the living room. They’d set up a game
of poker, and judging from the pile of bottle tops Nik was doing pretty well for himself. I lounged out on the sofa and watched them. I saw no good of stepping into the game halfway through. Dan sat at my feet, his hand resting on my ankles. It was a small comfort, but I took it. He was pack, after all, and the bonds were forming with all of them. That was likely what scared me the most.
The game went on for quite some time. It came down to Lee versus Nik. Ryan came and joined Dan and me on the sofa. I curled up a little between them enjoying the comfort of physical touch.
“We’ll be ok, T, we’re a pack.”
Ryan said it barely louder than a whisper, but it made me smile. He wasn’t the most eloquent, or arguably the brightest, but he was a sweetheart. I patted his knee in acknowledgment before I allowed myself to relax. I woke up to find Lee looking at me. I realised that I hadn’t actually asked where he was sleeping. It turned out the answer was on the sofa I was curled up on. Part of me was tempted to move up a little and stay with him, but I had too much on my mind. I needed my space. I ran my hand through his hair and went up to my own bed.
Alex ambushed me in my half-asleep state. “Lee is starting to show some worth to the pack. He and Ark worked out the location of the next blood ritual.”
I glared at him. Why couldn’t he have waited until I’d slept to tell me that?
“Why him, Thalia?”
I squeezed my eyes shut and slumped down on my bed. “Did you intentionally wait until I was weak to launch this on me?”
He smirked at me. The shadows danced over his bare torso and brought back flickering memories of the feeling of those tight muscles under my hands and against my body. I shoved them away and curled up on the bed.
“Because he’s what I needed. Because he understands me.”
“Needed?”