by Shen Hart
The scalding hot water ran over my body, washing away the tension along with the filth. I washed myself three times, just to be sure. That, and it gave me an excuse to remain under the hot water for longer, enjoying the escape it provided. I heard their voices, even through the rushing water. The time had come. I wasn’t ready, but then, I didn’t think I ever would be.
I wrapped myself in my towel and cursed myself for not having the sense to bring fresh clothes into the bathroom. I put my shoulders back and reminded myself that it was my damn sanctuary, and I had nothing to hide. If nothing else, they’d both seen it all many times before. I opened the door to find Alex standing with his arms crossed and Lee casually standing with his hands in his pockets. I’d hoped they’d at least show a little dignity and shame.
“We need to talk.” Alex said firmly.
“Yes. We do.” I replied.
My voice held the growl of the jaguar that was pacing just below the surface.
Lee took a step closer to me. “Suriel, we didn’t plan anything, and we certainly didn’t mean to hurt you.”
I looked at him pointedly and crossed my arms over myself. Alex sighed and sat down on his bed. “You know how the aggression can build, then it… finds another way to vent. We’ve done it ourselves. There was no planning there.”
He was so calm, as though he were explaining what a knife was. I looked to Lee, who had least had some blush in his cheeks.
“Thalia, this isn’t about that. This is about the fact that you misled us when we were going after Alistair.”
I glared at him and stalked past him to dig out some fresh clothing. I didn’t have to stand there and allow him to interrogate me like that. I jumped when Lee put his hand between my shoulder blades while I was trying to find a suitable shirt to wear.
“It’s only me, Suriel.”
I refused to look at him.
“Why did you do it, Baby Girl?”
I felt the tension in Lee’s hand and the shift in his weight as he turned to glare at Alex. Lee was right, that was not the way to get me to say a fucking thing. I finally settled on a pale blue shirt and moved to dig out some jeans.
Lee gently took my wrist. “You can’t keep avoiding this.”
I looked into his jade-green eyes and crumbled. The weight of everything had been too much. The concern on his face and his gentle touch was the final straw. I couldn’t take it any longer.
Chapter Thirty-Six
I slumped down onto the edge of my bed, with the bedding still crumpled up into my nest. I idly ran my fingers over it, wishing I could curl up in it and watch the world go by. Alex sat next to me, with Lee kneeling on the floor at the other side. I looked down at my hands and tried to hold it all back, but Alex’s hand on mine shattered the last of my defences. The tears ran freely down my cheeks as I looked into his ice blue eyes. They carried a hint of amber, from the coyote, no doubt, where he expected a fight. Creases formed across his brow and his mouth hardened into a frown when he saw my tears.
His hand moved up to my hair and gently pulled my head to his chest. “Talk to me, Baby Girl.”
It came out as a jumbled mess: the confusion, chaos, hate, and pain. I didn’t know who or what I was any more. I’d devoted my life to running away from them, because I’d lost him. Alistair had offered me an opportunity at freedom, but I didn’t know what that meant, whether I wanted that. If I was completely free, then what would I do? If the Sisters didn’t poke and prod me, then what use was my existence? I crumbled. I sobbed into his chest and accepted him stroking my hair while Lee’s thumb ran over my knee.
“I’m sorry, Baby Girl.”
I choked back the tears. “And then you two just fucked everything up. I need you. I’m directionless and lost without you, but then you went and did… that, and now I just don’t know what’s going on or what I’m supposed to do.”
Alex kissed the top of my head. “It was a one-off. The heat of the moment.”
Lee tenderly kissed the top of my foot. “It really wasn’t planned, Suriel. We didn’t know what to do after it had happened. The aggression had built for so long, it had to be vented somehow.”
I swallowed down my tears and knew they were right. My breathing steadied, and my thoughts cleared. I looked up into Alex’s face, his soft lips called to me, but I couldn’t. He’d abandoned me, and then he betrayed me, with Lee of all people. Yet, I still had to admit the truth.
“I need you, Alexei. I’m incomplete and lost without you.”
He kissed my forehead tenderly. “And I am lost without you. I’ve missed you, Baby Girl. More than you’ll ever know.”
I ran my hand through Lee’s hair. He’d always have a place in my world, but I didn’t need him. Not any more. Alex hooked his finger under my chin to bring me to look into his eyes, his lips dangerously close to mine. I looked away and ran my fingers over the back of Lee’s neck. I couldn’t. The memories of his having abandoned me still stung, and I had to come to terms with him and Lee.
“Did you and Dan…?”
I looked sharply at Alex. “You have the shittiest timing, you do know that right?”
Lee laughed quietly while Alex fought back a smile. “You know you can’t, Baby Girl. He’s pack, a cub.”
I glared at him then looked pointedly down at Lee who said looked up at me and said, “I’m not a cub, Suriel.”
He flashed me a cheeky grin that I couldn’t resist. The tension and stress was finally melting away. “Dan and I slept together. In the platonic, dream-filled sense.”
Alex relaxed and Lee rested his head on my thigh.
“Good, he’s a little too pushy as it is, we don’t need that mess as well,” Alex grumbled.
With that, he kissed my cheek and stood. “Can I trust that you’ll do as we need with Alistair later?”
I smiled up at him, and watched as the beautiful frost tones returning to his eyes and the stress left his face. “You can.”
I meant it as well. I finally felt rooted and secure in my position. I had some idea of where I was going. My mind cleared and the raven shook its feathers off. I could feel myself coming together once more. The fire swelled within me. Lee moved and sat next to me once Alex had left the room.
He took my hand. “I’m glad to have you back to yourself, Suriel. We were both very worried about you.”
I turned to look at him. A smile sat on his lips, and there were no signs of stress. He was taking the change in his position in my life very well.
His fingers trailed over my wrist. “I’ll always be devoted to you. I understood the bond you had with Alex from the start.”
His eyes never left mine. I allowed some of my energies to dance along his fingertips. “There will always be a place for you, Lee.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close, kissing his neck as I held him. I didn’t want to be without him, but I didn’t need him the way I needed Alex. It was the end of an era, and I was ok with that. The new one held great promise of the happiness I’d been searching for. He kissed my jawline and stood with a smile and the feline grace about his movements that I adore so much. I lay back on the bed, feeling lighter than I had done in a long time. I cursed the Sisters for putting us through all of it. They always insisted that I take the hardest viable route, and one day, I would make them pay for that. I needed to focus on ending Alistair, though. As much as his pretty words may have appealed while I was confused, and I could see why others would fall into the trap, it would only bring about darkness and despair. I never pretended to understand how the web worked, but I knew that balance was required and slaughtering the gods would upset that balance.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Lee and Alex were calm and civil towards each other. There was even a little friendly banter for a couple of surreal minutes. The cubs looked between them and me with confusion on their faces. I simply shrugged and moved on. The plan was simple, but with the angels being involved, there was a lot that could go wrong. We’d given Ni
k point and allowed him to give everyone guidance on their position in things. Lee was almost proud at being trusted to do the recon. It was good to see things settling and everyone finding their place. Showing trust in them and their abilities was important. We were a pack, and the understanding that sometimes they needed to lead was something I was familiar with. No good came from us constantly pushing them and keeping them down. They needed a purpose and a feeling of success to keep them interested and driven.
Ryan was fidgeting. Once Nik had been over everything twice, I pulled Ryan to one side. “What’s wrong?”
He sighed and looked down and away. “Nik’s planned this with Adam, Lee’s doing recon, and I’m—”
“—training with me.”
He pursed his lips and looked up at me. “I suppose.”
“Do you see the others going through training with a special purpose in mind?”
“No… I guess not, but…”
I raised an eyebrow at him. He offered me a small smile and looked away. I ran my hand over his arm in reassurance.
“You have your place, and you’re making good progress.”
I was a little concerned about him, but we didn’t have the time for a big talk. We had to get moving.
~*~ ~*~
Lee shifted into his hawk form with grace and took to the air, leaving the rest of us to wait. Ryan kept shifting his weight from foot to foot, eager to get going. We’d opted to give Lee ten minutes before we made any moves. We didn’t want him to waste time trying to find us again, especially if Alistair wasn’t where we’d expected him to be. I poked Ryan hard in the ribs. He yelped and jumped a little before he gave me a wounded look.
“Settle down. Find your inner calm. An assassin is no good if they’re a bundle of chaotic energies.”
He nodded and took a long, deep breath while calming himself. He was a good boy, really. He just needed to stop being so focused on proving himself. Nik obsessed over the map that he had laid out over the bonnet of Alex’s car—he didn’t dare touch my car.
“If he’s not here, then he might be over here.” He pointed to a place a few millimeters away from the big X. “In that case, he’ll have the extra potential escape route here, as it looks like he might be able to scramble down the rock face.”
“The angels are the problem.”
“They always fucking were.”
Alex and Dan smirked at me. I shrugged. Angels were nothing more than sociopathic assholes who showed up at the most inconvenient moment. My mind began to wander as I looked at Alex and couldn’t help but wonder if Alex and Lee had genuinely moved forward, or if there was more there and they were just worried about acting on it. I shook my head. It wasn’t the time to be thinking about such things. I had to focus.
Nik packed away the map, and we started walking through the woods. The sun was still up, which meant Lee would be able to see clearly, and us him. I kept glancing up through the thin canopy overhead, looking for Lee. A big part of me wanted him to be unsuccessful. To come back and say that there was sign of Alistair and Adam had been wrong. The sky was already showing hints of grey, and little fluffy clouds skidded across it. The sun was setting, and there was still no sign of Lee. My little bit of hope blossomed.
Ryan distracted me as he kept running his fingers over his knife. His gun remained firmly in its holster, safe. I moved a little closer to him. I didn’t like how anxious he was. He hadn’t displayed that much nervous energy before.
Lee came down through the trees and shifted quickly. “He’s at the second option. Probably ten minutes’ walk from here.”
I kept my growl of disappointment to myself. We picked up the pace and moved through the trees with Nik and Dan leading the way. I was pleased to see the bright green buds showing on the dark brown branches. The forest was coming back to life. I couldn’t help but feel like I was doing the same, after a very long hibernation.
Ryan and I went left, and Lee took Nik and went right, leaving Alex and Dan to go directly ahead. We fanned out and tried to cover all the routes while still closing in around the stone bluff that appeared in front of us. Alistair was there, kneeling on the smooth grey stone, almost prostrate with his head and arms flush against the stone. It was odd seeing him in such a humble position after his arrogance in the previous times I’d seen him. The white shirt was tight against his olive skin, a stark contrast that I couldn’t help but appreciate. His thick black hair remained pristine and well combed. Even in his time of humility, he strove for perfection. I almost admired him that moment, his determination and strength to do what he most desired.
The sun was setting before us. Blood reds tinged the horizon while peaches and pinks streaked upwards, pushing back against the bright blue. Clouds were caressed with blushes of rose, tinged by dove greys. I’d have happily sat and admired it if we weren’t there to kill a psychopathic wannabe godslayer.
“Thalia, we meet again.”
He was only human. How the fuck did he know I was there? We hadn’t even stepped up onto the stone yet. I remained frozen on the soft sandy ground, unsure what to do with myself. Logically I knew that I should have pulled my gun and shot him in the back of the head, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t ready. I needed that hope, that potential. I stretched my energies out trying to feel for the trap, the angels, something. I told myself that I was being careful and protecting my pack. Once again, there was nothing. I felt the boys’ eyes on me. I had to do something. I wished that it’d been just him and me so I could get some closure.
I smirked and stepped onto the stone as I unholstered the Glock. I pulled it up slowly, but the damn angels appeared around him, leaving him to stand slowly. I hated the part of me that was relieved. He turned to face me, with only two of the angels at his back. I assumed the other two were off torturing innocent humans somewhere. I was almost offended that they felt two was enough.
Almost.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
A shot rang out. I watched as a small blossom of red appeared on the blond angel’s arm. Time felt as though it slowed for an agonising moment while I tried to figure out what had just happened. The angel smirked at Ryan, who had his gun raised and his finger on the trigger, ready to fire again. Alistair slowly stood and turned to face us.
Ryan remained frozen, his face slowly contorting in a mix of fear and pain as Alistair smiled at me and opened his arms, saying, “Thalia, I’m so glad you chose you join me. You even brought your pack to help our cause.”
I snarled at him and pulled my Glock, taking a second to aim at his head. I was too slow. Another shot rang out to my right, but my focus was torn away from Alistair by Ryan’s strangled cry. The blond angel was holding him by his throat, his feet dangling uselessly off the ground. I allowed my instincts to take over. My Glock was holstered as I drew my blade and moved around to the angel’s side, who was so focused on Ryan that he was oblivious to the chaos going on around him.
I drove my blade down into the upper shoulder of the angel, aiming for his spine. He screamed, an animalistic sound of pain and fury. Ryan collapsed in a heap on the ground; I didn’t have a chance to look at him. The angel turned on me, blood covering his white T-shirt, his face twisted in rage as he pulled down his own angelic blades.
He snarled at me, “I should have killed you a long time ago. Oh wait… I did. Your precious Sisters just wouldn’t let you stay dead.”
He swiped and lunged at me, wild, thoughtless strikes that I danced away from. I kept him moving, his anger growing and making him all the more reckless. I managed to slash his arm, but he grazed my lower back in quick retaliation.
His semi-translucent blades shone rose and blue in the early evening light, my blood adding ruby droplets to the edge of one of them. I refused to allow my own emotions to cloud my movements. I ducked under a lazy crazed swing and pushed my blade up into his ribs. He snarled and screamed again, striking my upper arm with an agonising blow before he vanished. I ignored my blood and the shouts around me, instead kneel
ing at Ryan’s side.
He had ugly black bruises around his neck and one leg was sitting at a very awkward angle. I pulled his upper body onto my lap and ran my energies over him. His breathing was a little shallow, but he was conscious. The angel had torn his energies, they had maroon colour streaked through them with angry deep purple slashes. I pushed everything I had into fixing them, caressing the damaged areas with my own silvery-white energy, pulling out the bad and sewing together the healed healthy energies. He coughed and spluttered. I opened my eyes and hastily grounded the dark energies before I put one hand on his cheek and looked into his eyes, hoping that he was ok.
His voice was raspy as he said, “I’m sorry.”
I hugged him tight, glad to see that he was alive and ok. The others, however, weren’t as happy.
Alex snarled, “What the fuck did he mean, ‘You’ve come to join me, Thalia?’”
I didn’t even look at him as I snarled back, “He was bullshitting to throw you off, and it worked.”
Dan growled, “If Ryan hadn’t have been such an idiot…”
I gave him a dark look.
Alex continued, “If Thalia had have taken the shot, Ryan wouldn’t have felt the need.”
I bared my teeth at him. “And why exactly didn’t you take the shot?”
He relented, and I relaxed a little. They were all splattered in blood. I wasn’t entirely sure whose it was.
Nik growled, “Alistair got away. Dan managed to graze him, but that fucking angel kept getting in the way.”
I simply nodded and returned my focus back to Ryan. Dan continued to snarl at Ryan as I helped him up into a standing position. He kept his head low and refused to look at anyone. “Dan, take his other arm and help him.”