“I tried,” said Gabe, sounding dazed. “But it didn’t work.” He reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose in confusion. “I think I’m banished.”
For Heaven’s Sake
Liberty State Park
New Jersey
Gabe looked like he had lost his favourite puppy.
I took his hand and guided him over to a wooden bench nestled in underneath a tall tree. He didn’t resist in any way. Just kind of stumbled along beside me. I sat him down, then slid in beside him, resting my hand on his knee.
“Hey,” I said. “You sure?”
He didn’t answer me. Just kind of stared off into the distance. “This has never happened to me before,” he said, a hollow emptiness to his voice.
I tried to be funny. “I’ve literally never had a guy say that to me before,” I said, giving him a teasing little elbow in the side. “So…this is a first for both of us.”
He didn’t laugh. He didn’t even manage a smile. “This is a disaster.”
Right at that moment, I actually felt a bit sorry for him. It was a strange, alien feeling that demons were not supposed to feel, but it came from a genuine place. “You’ll be fine,” I said, trying to put a positive spin on things. “There’s a lot of reasons why your helliport—or whatever you celestial-types use—didn’t work. Maybe the gatekeepers just decided to keep you away. Maybe that toilet smells too much for the Heavenly choir. Maybe…”
“Maybe,” echoed Gabe.
“Just try not to worry.” I put my hand on his knee. “Look. If it helps, I can’t even helliport back to Hell, either. I should have told you earlier but I know…” I trailed off. He wasn’t listening.
“Banished from Heaven.” Gabe just ran his hands through his hair, his voice tightening. “This hasn’t happened since the Morning Star. Am I going to become the next Lucifer?”
“Maybe you can move in with me,” I said, kind of mostly joking, mostly. “Living in Hell is good for you it. It builds character.” I snickered. “Assuming that character is paranoid, violent and sadistic of course.”
He still didn’t laugh. “This just can’t be happening. I don’t believe it. If it wasn’t biologically impossible for angels to have a stroke, I’d be checking if I smelled toast.” Finally, finally he managed to look at me. “Isn’t Hell kind of…evil?”
“History is written by the winners. Guess who wrote Heaven’s history. Wasn’t us. So of course you think it’s evil. And…truth be told, it is. But I like to think of us as the mortal realm’s garbage disposal. It’s a shitty job, nobody wants to do it, and we certainly aren’t too happy with what we get up to—but our job is very important, and in that respect, we’re proud of what we do. Besides, we have the best parties. What’s Heaven got…a bunch of robed guys sitting around praising goodness or something.”
Finally, the ghost of a smile began to find its way to Gabe’s face. “We do like robes,” he said, shaking his head.
“There we go,” I said, squeezing Gabe’s knee firmly. “And hey. If you really do end up in the pit, don’t worry. It’s easy to find your way there. It’s like an all-roads-lead-to-Rome situation.”
“Sure,” said Gabe. “But I just want to say, the fact that there’s a stairway to Heaven and a highway to Hell says a lot about expected traffic volume.”
“And,” I said, letting my voice get all teasing again. “We’d have all the time in the world to go charming the snake. Or…whatever else sexy stuff you wanted to do.”
“I’m just waiting for you to run out of euphemisms,” he said. “I’m sure it’ll happen eventually.”
“Eventually,” I conceded.
We sat there a little while, in quiet, my hand on his knee, leaning up against each other. It was actually real nice. The wind picked up and the sounds of the city bustled all around us. It was almost enough to make one forget that we had committed a major infraction of interplanetary law and were being hunted by ancient, semi-sentient constructs who wanted to dispassionately wipe us out. And Gabe had been kicked out of the only home he’d ever known.
Then again, so had I, and at least he still had his memories. Still. Maybe that actually made it easier for me.
I couldn’t clearly remember what I’d lost.
A pop nearby made us both jump. For a moment, adrenaline surged through my body and my fight-or-flight reflex kicked in. Surely the nephilim wouldn’t attack us in an open park in broad daylight…surely not.
Instead, it was Asmodeus’s voice that came to me. “Hey, fuckers.” He had appeared underneath the seat, hiding between the gaps in the wooden planks. “Good to see you’re still alive, Grace.”
“No thanks to you,” I hissed, casually reaching down and poking him through the gap. “You fucking left me.”
“Them’s the breaks, babe,” he said, kicking at my finger angrily. “No sense us both dying. But hey! Turns out you didn’t need me at all.”
“Right,” I said, grumpily rubbing Gabe’s knee. “Look, if you don’t want to stick around when we get into trouble, how about you just fuck off and don’t come back, okay? I don’t need you making shitty little quips and vanishing every time there’s a little wee giant destroying our safe house.”
Asmodeus hissed at me. “Hey, you stupid bitch, you think I want to be here?” He grumbled. “Maybe I should just leave.”
I almost said more things to him, but then I realised. Asmodeus had, in fact, come back. “Okay,” I said. “Why are you here?”
“Firstly, I didn’t return from the pit empty handed. I got a little something for you given your current…problems.”
That might be useful. I hoped. “Secondly?”
“Have you forgotten?” asked Asmodeus, rolling his eyes. “I told you I’d tell you why you got kicked out of Hell if you got the information from Damien. Whatever else you did, you did earn that.”
Of course. I had almost completely forgotten. “Tell me,” I hissed.
“Not here,” said Asmodeus, risking popping his head up above the gap, looking around worriedly. “This is too exposed.”
I pushed his head back down into the gap. “Okay,” I said. “Where?”
The Contact
Liberty State Park
New Jersey
Asmodeus crawled under my hoodie, and I made sure to keep it pulled up around my head. He led us out of the park and inland, past the Liberty Science Centre and into Communipaw.
Gabe didn’t say much and dragged his feet as he walked, which was wherever we took him. Rather than talk to him, I just grabbed his hand and guided him wherever Asmodeus instructed. Taking orders from an imp pissed me off, but this was no time to worry about the inter-pit hierarchy.
The green of the park was soon replaced by the suburban grid. We walked through Bergen, then to the campus of New Jersey City University. Asmodeus spooled out earbuds for my phone and stuck them in my ears, under my hoodie but visible coming out from behind my bangs. No music played through them, but I understood their purpose. This way I could talk to him as we walked, all without looking like a pair of crazy people.
“What are we doing here?” I asked, feeling a rising spike in anxiety. This place was full of students. The risk of us getting discovered was pretty high. “This was a dumb plan.”
“This is a smart plan,” said Asmodeus, firmly. “Listen. I had a bit to think while you guys were fighting and running for your lives. The nephilim want to preserve the masquerade, right? Well, that means that hiding out in the suburbs is a really dumb idea. We don’t want remote, private. We want exposed, public. There’s a guy here who owes me a favour. I can lean on him for a little help. He’ll give us lodgings, food, and he won’t fuck with us. Room 3474, Frost Hall. It’s new.”
“Frost Hall,” I said, nodding in understanding, but not too much. I didn’t want to knock him off. “Okay.”
Without any other option—I dared not ask for help, lest I attract attention to myself—I wandered the NJCU campus with my head down, trying to spot the resi
dential colleges. Finally, I came upon an area on the west of campus that looked like some kind of residential area. A big red building, three stories tall, with a central foyer made of tall floor-to-ceiling windows. It looked very fancy. There were shitloads of students milling out the front, some glued to their phones, others chatting in small groups.
“This the place?” I asked.
“Yeah,” said Asmodeus. “I had our contact meet us out the front. Should be around. Try to spot ‘em.”
Oh, great. “How about a little hint?” I asked, grinding my teeth. “You know. Name. Gender. Appearance.”
Before he could answer, I heard a familiar voice. “Grace? Gabe?”
Emily. The girl from spin the bottle. “Hi,” I said, grimacing slightly to myself despite my best efforts to keep it under control. “How’re you doing?”
She shifted her posture, casually reaching up and touching her hair. “I didn’t realise you were a student,” she said, smiling shyly.
I didn’t want to say I wasn’t, so I spun a quick lie. “I wasn’t then, but I’m…I’ve signed up. I’m a student now.”
That seemed to make he really happy. “How’re you doing, Gabe?” she asked, her eyes briefly flicking to our held hands.
“He’s lost his voice,” I said, frantically trying to cover for him. “Real sick. Like, super bad. He’s got the cold from Hell.”
“Ooh, that sucks,” said Emily, her posture changing again, becoming more defensive, folding her arms in front of her. The smile remained on her face. “You two are together now, huh?”
“Yup,” I said, giving Gabe’s hand a firm squeeze. “Turns out blowing a guy in a cupboard can work out for you.”
Emily flushed in a way that was honestly pretty cute. “I probably should have done that,” she said, her tone joking, but there was an air of hesitance that made me smirk internally. “It seemed to work out for you…”
“If you wanna be with Bulldozer,” I said, “you just gotta show him you like him. Women and men are different…what works on one usually won’t work on the other, although exceptions exist of course. But dragging him into a cupboard for a little bit of snake charming will do the trick I think.”
“Okay,” she said, smiling nervously.
“If you need a little help,” I said, simply unable to help myself. “I can show you a few kissing tips…and not just on the lips if you know what I mean. With a little practice you’ll be a pro.”
Emily gave a slightly-too-loud, nervous laugh that betrayed her interest.
Anyway, enough playing with my food. “So,” I said, trying to put the mental image of Emily naked out of my head. Tantalising and intriguing for lots of different reasons, but…distracting. “We gotta get back to Hell, and we need a safe place to hang out until we can do that.”
Emily stared at me blankly. “To…Hell?”
“You idiot,” hissed Asmodeus into my ear. “That’s not our contact!”
Then why didn’t he say something earlier? Dammit. Blasted imp…
“Uhh,” I said, trying to salvage this. “It’s…uhh, my place. In Hell’s Kitchen. I like to call it Hell.”
Emily scrunched up her face. “Oookay. Well, uhh…why do you need a safe space?”
“Stalker,” I said, frantically spinning a story in my head. “I’ve picked myself up a stalker. Some girl who’s following me. And Gabe. She’s, uhh…she’s nuts. So I’m just trying to shake her.”
“Oh my god,” said Emily. Her eyes went wide. “You should call the cops.”
“No cops,” I insisted, then changed my tone to be more gentle. “No cops. I don’t think they can necessarily help me in this case, and…” I tugged Gabe closer. “I have Gabe to protect me.”
“That’s true,” said Emily, seeming a little more relieved. “Anyway, uhh, I have to head to my economics class. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
I gave her a little wave. “For sure.”
She waved back then, looking fondly over her shoulder, walked away.
Angrily, I reached up and grabbed Asmodeus through my hood. “You fucking little rat,” I said, squeezing him and digging my nails in. “Why didn’t you say anything earlier?”
“It was funny?” he said, coughing in pain. “Anyway, uhh, there’s the contact.”
He pulled my ear, turning my head, and then I saw her.
Laila.
New Jersey City University Campus
Jersey City
New Jersey
Oh boy.
Laila, the self-righteous girl from spin the bottle. That game had totally changed my life and more than ruined my week. I wasn’t exactly glad to see her.
“Hi,” said Laila, folding her hands in front of her, nervously. “I guess you’re the people from…out of town?”
Interesting euphemism. “You could say that,” I said, nodding my head. My hoodie lifted slightly so Asmodeus could look out.
Laila’s eyes went wide as saucers, looking directly at him. “Oh my God. It’s a demon. It’s a real, real, real demon.”
“Keep your voice down,” I hissed, stepping closer to her and dragging Gabe up to her as well. “Room 3474. You need to take us there. Now.”
With shaking hands, Laila pointed to the glass doorway. I felt like the middle link in a weird Human Centipede-esque chain of hands, being led by Laila and in turn leading Gabe. In we went, past crowds of milling students and toward the lift.
We rode up in silence. I cast a worrying look to Gabe. He hadn’t said anything for a while. Just followed wherever I dragged him.
“Hey,” I said, giving his hand a firm shake. “You okay?”
He nodded to me, but didn’t say a word.
“What’s wrong with him?” asked Laila, a slight tremble in her voice.
“Nothing,” I spat, a surge of anger rushing through me. Lucifer’s Teeth, what a cow. “Just keep your fucking bitch eyes on the door, okay?”
“Don’t kill this one too,” said Asmodeus, cautiously, into my ear. Yeah, yeah. I wouldn’t. I was annoyed but not nearly as furious as I’d been with Damien.
“Sorry,” I said, grumbling. “I’m…cranky. I wanna know what you know.”
“Soon,” he promised.
Fortunately the lift doors opened and I didn’t need to continue with this annoying line of questioning. Laila, Gabe and I walked out of the lift, down the corridor, until we got to a room labelled 3474.
“This is my dorm,” said Laila, swiping an electronic card. A mechanical clunk echoed down the corridor. She pushed open the door with her shoulder. “Come on in.”
“Thank you,” said Gabe, meeting my eyes for a moment. Well, it was good to hear him speak, even a little. “I’ll wait outside.”
“That’s for the best,” said Asmodeus. I wasn’t sure that was true but I wanted to hear what he had to say, something he wouldn’t want to do if there was a celestial in the same room as him.
“We won’t be long,” I said, then stepped inside.
The dorm room was a narrow, cramped space with a single bed, a chipboard wooden desk with a lamp, and a set of drawers that was tall and narrow, and a small steel sink right behind the door.
With no further ado, I flopped down onto Laila’s bed. Asmodeus fluttered out of my hoodie, landing on her desk. Laila sat on the floor looking sad.
“Okay,” I said to Asmodeus, wishing Gabe was in here so I could give him a firm squeeze around the middle. “Go. Tell me. Why did I get my perfectly shaped butt kicked out of Hell?”
Asmodeus considered a moment, pursing his lips. “Remember when I said you were drunk?” he asked, cautiously.
“Yes,” I said, “but that’s not possible because demons can’t get intoxicated or poisoned.”
“Right, right,” said Asmodeus, nodding in agreement. “And you weren’t drunk or high or anything like that. You, however, were drunk.” He paused for effect. “On power.”
That didn’t make any sense to me at all. “Plenty of demons let their nature go to their
head,” I said, gently gripping some of the bed sheet and scrunching it in my hands. “Pretty sure you don’t get banned from Hell for that. In fact I think we kind of like it.”
“Right,” said Asmodeus, clicking his tiny tongue a few times like a weird little bird noise. “But most of the arrogant demons in the pit don’t try to kill Lucifer.”
I snorted with laughter. “Yeah, right. Like I could do that.”
Asmodeus didn’t laugh. He just looked at me stoically. “Obviously,” he said, gesturing to me. “That’s why you’re here. There’s only one Lord of the Pit, baby. And he doesn’t play well with others.”
Insane. The whole thing was insane. I tried to wrap my head around it. “Okay,” I said, cautiously. “Fine. Let’s go with this for now. But…why can’t I remember things?”
“Helliporting takes mental energy,” said Asmodeus, as though he were explaining the concept to a child. “The Morning Star put you in the only place you were allowed to be. He didn’t want you coming back and taking him out, so he reached into your mind and cut out the bit that allowed you to plane shift. That’s why you had that nasty burn on your face when you woke up. Of course, it looks like he scooped out a bunch of memories, too. Probably didn’t mean to do that.”
“Wow,” said Laila. “I’ve always believed in magic, even when the Bible said it wasn’t true.” She seemed to get more excited as she talked, but…magic? Who had said anything about that? “Or maybe not magic. Luck at least. My cat, Lucky…he was a black cat. He got hit by a car, and when we buried him under a tree, that night there was a storm and the tree got struck by lightning.”
“More likely,” said Asmodeus, frustration creeping into his voice, “you left the shovel out and the metal attracted the lightning strike.”
Laila stammered slightly. “B-but you’re a demon. From the Bible. You can’t hurt me…I pray to God. I follow scripture.”
The very topic seemed to piss Asmodeus off. “You follow scripture? Listen, lady, there are ten thousand active religions in the world, and you think we’re going to pick and choose based on what essentially amounts to people following the religion of the local area they were born into? No. The books are good, and if you use them or don’t use them, either way is fine, but the simple rule is: if you’re a good person, you go to the sky place. There’s no harps and shit, but it’s nice I guess. If you’re a bad person, you go to the hot place. And I’m not talking about Arizona here. You dig?”
20 Shades of Shifters_A Paranormal Romance Collection Page 117