20 Shades of Shifters_A Paranormal Romance Collection

by Demelza Carlton

  “When I die?”

  “Now. Before the five days is completed. Otherwise my allegiance will soon return to Lilith, and he won’t risk that. She’s already grown too powerful.”

  “No.” She shook her head.

  “You have Jacob to think about. And it makes no difference. I’d already agreed with Torr that if you die, he would finish my life before the Covenant ends. I’ll not return to Lilith. I will not go back to the darkness. But there’s more.” He shrugged almost helplessly, and she knew she wasn’t going to like what she heard. Inside her, everything tightened and squeezed so she could hardly take a breath. “The wolves are created by my powers. If I die, they die with me. That was Gabriel’s price.”

  “How many?”

  “Thousands.”

  “Dawson and Brandon?” It would have been easier if she had never met them. Now they were people. Brandon had watched over her most of her life. And she would repay him with this. But she knew, even if she had never met them she wouldn’t allow them to pay for her mistakes. Though she would never think of Finn as a mistake.

  She’d forgotten Dawson’s words. What was the value of her life? How could she have forgotten?

  “And will they live if I die?”

  “For the time. I’ll delay my…death and I’ll search for a way to cut the ties that bind us together. So when I…end, they will go on.”

  They sat in silence for long minutes. There was nothing left to say. It was over. Within hours she would be dead, and she was finding it hard to get her head around that. She would cease to exist.

  She wanted to say I love you, but what difference would it make, and maybe it would only make things harder for Finn. And she knew then that it was over. She also knew that Finn had accepted it. He knew her too well. No way would she keep her life at such a high cost. And if she searched her heart, she knew she wouldn’t want to go on without Finn. That if she lost him now, her life would be as good as over.

  Her one regret was Jacob. But not even for Jacob would she consign so many to death.

  She had so little time. “Will you make sure that Jacob is okay? Will you tell him that I didn’t want to leave him? Tell him I love him.” Part of her wanted to run back to him, hold him until she could hold him no more. But that would be self-indulgent. He was a bright child, and he’d pick up something was wrong. Better that she never go back.

  “Of course. You need to decide what you want for him.”

  She forced her brain to work. This was important. “Bella is his aunt. Will you ask her to watch over him?”

  “I will.”

  She sat silent for a minute. “Do you think it will hurt?”

  “No, it won’t hurt.”

  She stared into the water. The moon had risen, nearly full, lighting the sky. Her last night. She’d died so many times. Alone. This time she would die in the arms of the man she loved. Her hand edged out, and she slid her palm into his.

  “Make love to me. Make me forget.”

  Chapter 26

  How do you make love when you know it’s the last time?

  Finn tightened his hold on her hand. He was breaking up inside. Within mere hours she would be gone, and he’d be alone. He had to find the strength to go on. At least until Jacob was settled and he’d found a way to save his wolves.

  But for the next few hours he had to put that behind him. Just be with her, make her forget the end was near.

  He knelt on the sand and cupped her face between his palms. He kissed her reverently, pouring all his love into the kiss. Her lips parted beneath his, and he pushed inside, tasting her. Gently, he urged her back onto the sand, coming over her, never taking his lips from hers.

  Her arms came around him, pulling him down to her, her body soft against his hardness. But he needed to feel her against him with nothing between them. He rose up, tugged the T-shirt over her head. Then unfastened the button at her waist, lowered the zipper, and she wriggled out of her jeans, kicking off her sandals. She was naked but for a black bra and panties, and she arched her back, so he could unhook the bra and peel it from her breasts. He slid the panties down her long legs, and she was naked and the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He lowered his head and kissed her flat stomach with its faint tracery of lines.

  “I wish you could have had my children,” he said.

  She stroked his hair. “They would have been beautiful.”

  But some things were not meant to be. And he pushed the thought from his mind. There would be time for wallowing in regrets when she was gone.

  He stood and stripped off his clothes. She stared at him, wonder in her eyes, then she came up on her knees. Before he could grasp what she meant to do, she leaned forward and her hand wrapped around his cock. Pleasure shot through him, and his head went back. She squeezed, then moved closer. Kissed the tip, and his knees nearly gave way. He stared down at her as she took him in her mouth. The sensation of her soft lips engulfing him was the best feeling in the world. Damaris had always loved to do this. He’d forgotten, or had pushed the thought from his mind. Now he let her have her way until he could feel the pleasure building, his balls aching with need. He threaded a hand in her hair, holding her as he pulled back, and she stared up at him, her eyes dazed.

  “Enough.” He needed to be deep inside her. Desperation clawed at his insides.

  He knelt before her, his hands still in her hair as he pulled her toward him. He kissed her lips, her cheeks, her ears, anywhere he could touch, frantic now with the need to be at one with her. His hands grasped the curves of her ass and pulled her closer, so his erection pressed against her belly. Shifting his hands to her waist, he lifted her, and lay her down on the soft sand. As he came down over her, she wrapped her legs around him. He kissed her throat, her breasts, licking at her nipples so she arched her back, pushing against him, pleading for more. Drawing one into his mouth, he suckled her, scraping with his teeth. His hand moved between them, and he found her soft and wet, and as he slipped a finger inside, her hips pushed up, and she let out a moan of wanting.

  Unable to wait, he pressed himself against her, and as she opened, he thrust into the heat. For a moment, he held himself still, eyes closed, sinking in sensation, as close as they could be. She bucked beneath him, and he opened his eyes, stared into hers as he started to move.

  Pushing inside, pulling out, in again, the hot grip of her muscles driving him crazy with need. As he ground against her, he could feel her pleasure rising, in the tenseness of her body, the grip of her fingers digging into his shoulders, the low moans that escaped her throat. He took her mouth in another long kiss, pushed inside, rotated against her and felt the moment she came apart for him. Her spine arched, and she threw back her head and screamed his name.

  As he released the last of his control and spilled himself inside her, she pushed up against him, and he came again, pleasure washing over him, dragging him under. Finally, he collapsed against her, burying his head in the curve of her shoulder, rolling her so she was sprawled across his body.

  Her breathing slowed, then she pressed her palms flat against his chest and pushed herself up, so she could look down into his eyes. He searched her face. The fear had gone, and she appeared at peace, though sadness lurked in the back of her eyes. “I don’t want to die,” she murmured. “I never realized how afraid I was until you came. The fear was always there, at the back of my mind. Now there’s something I need to do.” She rose to her feet, and he watched as she stepped gracefully toward the water. She looked back over her shoulder as she stepped into the gentle current. A little shiver ran through her. “It’s cold.” But she didn’t stop. She walked into the center of the river, where the water was up to her waist, and she wrapped her arms around her middle and turned to face him. “I’m not afraid any longer,” she said. And she lowered herself into the water, until she was totally submerged. She came up a second later, brushing her wet hair out of her face.

  He got to his feet and strode toward her. She was right, t
he water was icy, but he followed her in, enfolded her in his arms, and pulled her hard against him. Then he lifted her against his chest, carried her out of the river, and out laid her on the bank. He warmed her with his body. Wrapping his arms around her, sinking into her. This time they made love long and slowly, the pleasure so intense that he thought it might shatter them. Part of him wished it would, that they could end this way, just close their eyes, hold each other tight, and let it be over.

  But he had things to do. Promises to keep. He wouldn’t allow her death to be in vain.

  Through the long hours of the night, they held each other, making love over and over until their bodies truly became one, their breathing synchronized, their hearts beating in time.

  As dawn lightened the sky, she lay face-to-face with him, legs tangled, her hand caressing his cheek. “I knew it was wrong to love you,” she said, and he felt the words against his skin. “Wrong to steal you from Heaven. So I kept the words to myself, as though if I didn’t say them aloud, things would stay the same and I could keep you. But it made no difference. All it did was make you doubt my love. But I do love you. For always.”

  He wanted to howl and scream and rage at the heavens.

  But he forced those dark feelings down. He’d allowed them to overtake him the last time he’d lost her. He wouldn’t do it again. That wasn’t who she would want him to be. This time was for her. “I love you too. For eternity.”

  Then the sound of gunfire shattered the peace.

  Beside her, Finn shot upright.

  “What’s happening?” she said. Her brain scrambled to understand what was going on. Warm from Finn’s lovemaking, she was at peace from finally admitting out loud that she loved him. She’d almost closed down, accepted that it was over.

  And that peace had been destroyed.

  “I don’t know. Get dressed.”

  He was moving as he spoke, untangling himself from her. He jumped up and was pulling on his clothes as she got to her feet. She didn’t bother with underwear, just dragged on her jeans and T-shirt, shoved her feet into her sandals, and then they ran through the forest. More gunshots, coming from the direction of the house.

  Jacob!

  Finn grabbed her hand, and they ran faster. Nearly there. He skidded to a halt, and she was almost jerked off her feet and to the ground. She righted herself. Killian blocked the path from the opposite direction, breathing hard. He tossed some sort of rifle at Finn, who grabbed it with his free hand.

  “We’re under attack,” Killian said.

  “Who?” Finn asked.

  “We’re not sure. A mixture of demons and humans.”

  “Lilith?”

  “No. But Cassia is here.”

  “Goddamn it.”

  “Who is Cassia?” she asked.

  “Lilith’s daughter.” He cast her a look. “I’m supposed to marry her once you’re gone. Never going to fucking happen. Goddamn bitch.” He released his hold on her, shifted the rifle to his right hand, gripped her with his left, and followed Killian, slower this time.

  Her heart was beating fast, her mouth dry. She wasn’t afraid for herself—she’d already accepted that she was going to die—but Jacob was back at the house.

  He would be safe, wouldn’t he? There was no reason for anyone to go after her son.

  There had been no reason last time.

  They paused, almost at the house, and she peered around Killian’s huge form. A wolf lay across the path, clearly dead, the fur of its throat singed black, its eyes lifeless and staring.

  She bit back a sob. The dead wolf made everything so real. Finn’s arm wrapped around her. “Come on.”

  He urged her forward the last few feet, to where the pine trees gave way to the meadows in front of the house. They stopped, concealed in the shadows of the trees. She peered out, trying to make sense out of the chaos, searching for a sight of Jacob or Papi. Smoke wreathed the air, and her gaze skittered off the bodies that littered the space between them and the house.

  There were two men on the front porch, both strangers. The one on the left turned toward them as though sensing their presence, a pistol aimed in their direction.

  Beside her, Finn leveled the rifle on his shoulder and a shot cracked out. The man crashed to the ground, but another took his place and Finn backed her deeper into the cover.

  Somehow, they had to reach the house. She had to get Jacob and Papi. As she tried to step forward, Finn stopped her with a hand on her arm. But she wouldn’t lose another son. Whatever it took. And she pulled free and stepped forward, out of the trees, Finn beside her, trying to cover her with his body.

  She stopped as the door to the house opened, and Papi and Jacob appeared. Papi had his hand on Jacob’s shoulder, and his face held a fixed expression of terror as he looked around. He pulled Jacob’s face against him so he wouldn’t see the carnage. A woman appeared behind them. She looked young, tall, and slender, with red-gold hair and dressed in jeans and a short leather jacket. Was this the woman Finn was supposed to marry?

  She shoved Papi in the back, and he stumbled forward and collapsed to his knees, losing his grip on Jacob. Across the space Jacob caught sight of her. He started to run, but someone grabbed him and hauled him back. A pistol appeared in the woman’s hand, and she held it to his head, freezing Rachel in place.

  “Stop,” the woman shouted, and the word cut through the roar of guns and the screams of the dying.

  One by one, the fighters stalled. And everything went still and quiet.

  Rachel struggled against Finn’s hold, but this time, he held her still. “Wait.”

  Finn took in the scene in front of him.

  The fighters had parted, each backing away, the demons closer to the house, the wolves nearer to where he stood with Rachel at the tree line. He recognized Brandon and nodded. Others lay dead, scattered on the grass in front of the house. Piles of ash were all that remained of the demons that had been killed. And the occasional human body lay with his throat ripped out. The sharp scent of blood, mingled with spent ammunition, hung on the air and, beneath that, a whiff of sulfur.

  Rachel’s grandfather lay where he’d fallen, but now managed to push himself to his feet, one hand balancing himself against the wall of the house, looking warily around. He must think he’d been transported into Hell. And he wasn’t far wrong.

  Cassia stood with her hand on Jacob’s shoulder. The pistol still aimed at the boy’s head, and Finn had to fight down his rage. He had to do this right.

  Killian edged up beside him.

  “We need to distract her,” Finn said. “Take her attention from the boy, and if you see an opportunity, get in there and get him.”

  Killian nodded.

  What the hell was Cassia doing here? This was no manifestation. She must have opened a portal to allow her to bring the demons through. She risked everything. If she was killed now, she wouldn’t come back. She’d be dead. What had driven her to take such a risk?

  Beside him, Rachel was shaking, her attention focused on Jacob. The boy’s face was a mask of fear. Finn pulled her to him briefly, then blew out a breath. “Let me talk to her,” he said. “Find out what she wants.”

  She swallowed, her eyes wide, her mouth a tight line, but she gave a nod. She trusted him. How? After everything that had happened? But somehow, he wouldn’t let her down. “Stay here,” he said.

  He stepped forward.

  Cassia stared at him, a frown drawing her eyes together.

  “Let the boy go, Cassia.”

  She watched him through narrowed eyes, but her pistol didn’t waver. “Drop the gun,” she said.

  He tossed the rifle aside. “Why, Cassia? What is it you hope to achieve? The rest of my brothers are on their way. You can’t win. And if you die here, then it’s over.”

  She licked her lips. “I heard you’d made a deal. With Gabriel.” Her tone was filled with disbelief. “That you’d offered your life for hers.” She waved the hand with the pistol toward the forest wh
ere Rachel stood. “They told me you were going to die. For her.” Her tone was incredulous.

  He searched his brain for a way to make her back down. As he inched closer, her finger tightened on the trigger, and, behind him, he heard Rachel’s indrawn breath.

  “You can’t do it,” Cassia snarled. “You can’t die. Not for her. I told you I loved you. We’re meant to be together. We were always meant to be together.”

  Maybe the only thing that would work was the truth. “She said no, Cassia. Rachel refused my offer. She doesn’t want to live. She’s going to die.”

  He saw Jacob’s eyes widen and swore under his breath. But keeping the boy alive was more important now.

  “She’s going to die, Cassia. And then I’ll be free, and we can be together. Just let the boy go.”

  She stiffened her shoulders, stared at him. “The trouble is, I don’t trust you. You would give up everything for her. Your very existence. The lives of your wolves. All for her.”

  “You can trust me. I wouldn’t lie about this. In a few hours, the five days of the Covenant will be complete, and she will die.”

  “It’s not goddamn soon enough. And you plan to die as well. You’re not supposed to fucking die. You’re supposed to goddamn marry me. I always believed that once she was gone, you would finally come to your senses. You could have had everything. Marriage to me. Our own kingdom here on Earth. Whatever you wanted could be yours. And instead you’ve asked the Destroyer to take your life.”

  He sighed, closed his eyes for a second. “I never wanted a kingdom. All I ever wanted was Rachel.”

  In the distance, he could hear an approaching helicopter. Torr and the others. They’d be too late.

  “The Destroyer is coming,” he said to Cassia. “Ask yourself something. You say you love me. Are you really willing to die for that love?”

  She listened, her nostrils flaring, the runes standing out, writhing beneath the pale skin of her face. Gritting her teeth, she shook her head. “I don’t get it. I really don’t get it. And I won’t fucking accept it.” She took a deep breath. “The boy can live. But only as long as you do. So make sure you stay alive. But she dies now. Right now. Because I don’t trust her. No one is that selfless. She’ll change her mind, and you’ll die for her. Not going to happen.”