“What?” Claire said doing her best to look anywhere but at Scarlet’s lone teardrop. “Of course I can go.” She dug her fingernails into the sensitive flesh around her belly button, scratching hard.
“You can’t go!” Scarlet yelled, stamping her foot in a tantrum. She flung open Claire’s suitcase and began tossing clothes out of the case and into the air. “I won’t let you! I can’t live three months without you!”
A pair of panties sailed high into the air and parachuted down onto Claire’s head. Her eyes peeked through the leg-holes. She couldn’t believe this was happening. Wait, yes she could. This was just like Scarlet. Make a big dramatic exit scene. She would leave Scarlet wailing and keening, gnashing her teeth, and ripping her hair. No, that was too biblical. Scarlet would cry and throw a few things - inexpensive things from Pier One; she wasn’t a fool – and guilt Claire. God, she could feel the hives popping out all over her butt.
Claire ducked just in time to dodge being smashed in the face with a picture frame from Hobby Lobby. She noted that it was a frame Scarlet hated.
“Why why why!” Scarlet wailed. “Why did you only pack your sexy underwear? Look at this!” she said, yanking the panties off Claire’s head. “These are your sexy panties!”
“No, they’re not,” Claire said. “I don’t have sexy underwear. I have normal underwear. Underwear that befits a woman of my age and status.”
Scarlet moaned and threw herself facedown onto the bed. She pounded her fists into the mattress like an angry toddler having a fit. After a few moments her tantrum waned to a few ragged sobs.
Claire sighed deeply and sat on the edge of the bed. She tried to soothe Scarlet by patting her back. “Honey, I have to do this so we can get married. Remember this is for us.”
“You don’t love me,” Scarlet whined like a petulant child.
“I do. I do love you,” Claire said softly, patting Scarlet’s head. “That’s what this is all about. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t be getting divorced so we could get married.”
Scarlet peeked through her fingers. “You do love me?”
“Of course I do, honey. You’re my little booger wooger bear.”
Scarlet smiled weakly. “You’re my little monkey wonkey butt.”
Claire tenderly wiped Scarlet’s tears away. Scarlet pulled Claire close to kiss her. Claire turned her face away, saying, “Blow your nose first.”
“Huh?”
“Your nose.” She pointed at her own nose, which was wrinkled in disgust. “You have some snot and stuff. Blow your nose.”
“Oh.” Scarlet grabbed a tissue from the box on the nightstand and blew so hard it sounded like a goose honking. She looked back at Claire and said with a stuffed-up nose, “Make lub to meb.”
“They’re going to be here any minute,” Claire said.
“If you lub meb, show meb,” Scarlet demanded. She cleared her nasal passages in one big snuffle that made Claire cringe. “Or I’ll never let you go with her.”
Claire sighed. She was going to have to do this or Scarlet would never let her hear the end of it. She slid to the floor on her knees facing the bed. She pulled Scarlet’s butt to the edge of the bed, raised her skirt and discovered that Scarlet wasn’t wearing panties. That could mean only one thing. Scarlet had planned this scenario all along.
Claire took a deep breath. Why did she suddenly feel like a scuba diver whose oxygen tank was on empty?
She closed her eyes and dove in.
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About the Authors
Layce Gardner is a screenwriter, a novelist, and a playwright. Her plays have been performed around the world and she is the recipient of The Los Angeles Drama Logue Award for Best Playwrighting. She has written screenplays for every major television network and her movie “Prison of Secrets” was Lifetime’s highest rated movie. She is the Goldie award-winning author of the novel, Tats. She is one half of a dynamic comedy writing duo with her wife, Saxon Bennett. Together, they have written over 45 novels and short stories.
Saxon Bennett is the author of over twenty novels and numerous short stories. She has won two Goldie awards, the Alice B. Reader award for body of work, and is one half of the best-selling comedic duo Layce Gardner & Saxon Bennett.
Follow the authors’ blogs at: Laycegardner.com and Saxonbennett.wordpress.com
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More Than a Kiss Page 23