Silence descended again, but he allowed it this time. She’d already shared more than he’d expected. Details would emerge as she was ready to release them. He reached over her shoulder and motioned for the comb. “You can sleep here or in the bed.” She handed him the comb and he eased away from her then stood. “The bed’s softer, but you’ll probably be warmer down here.”
She looked back at him with a tentative smile. “Could you toss me the t-shirt?”
“Sure.” He returned to the bathroom and tossed the comb onto the counter then retrieved the t-shirt from the towel rack. “Is this going to be warm enough? I can get one of my flannel shirts.”
“The t-shirt’s fine.” She took it from him and put it on, pushing to her knees as she pulled off the two damp towels. She held them out, not quite meeting his gaze.
More of her skin had been exposed by the towels, but he couldn’t help fixating on the fact that she was naked beneath the borrowed shirt. She was calm now, firelight gleaming in her long dark hair. He took the towels from her, balled them up and threw them into the bathroom.
“I’ll stay here.”
He suspected not wanting to crawl out from under the quilt had more to do with her choice than the need for warmth. Still, he accepted her decision with a nod. “Then you should probably get some sleep. I’m sure you’re exhausted.”
She lay on her side facing the fire, the quilt covering all but her head. Ian pulled his phone from his pocket and checked the time. 9:53 p.m. He smiled. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been in bed by ten. He turned off the lights and crossed to the bed, sitting so he could pull off his boots. It was his habit to sleep naked. Somehow that didn’t seem wise tonight. He also liked to shift into an eagle and fly for an hour or so to help him unwind. Obviously that wasn’t an option either. There was no way he was leaving Devon alone.
His phone vibrated and he swiped the screen with his thumb, unlocking the functions. There were sixteen messages from Erin and nine from Kyle.
The most recent was from Erin. Bring her back or I will never speak 2 u again!
Ian couldn’t help but smile. Erin had never been one to mince words.
D is safe. Give her a few days 2 decompress. When Erin didn’t immediately respond, he added, Surely u know I would never hurt her.
Again she didn’t respond and Ian sighed. Apparently the silent treatment had begun. I luv u both! No harm will come to her. He didn’t expect a response and he didn’t get one. He set the phone on the small shelf beside the bed and pulled back the covers.
“Was that my mother?” Devon’s voice drifted to him out of the darkness.
“Yeah. As you might expect, she’s not happy with me right now.” He crawled into bed and groaned. Even through his clothes the sheets were freezing.
“If it’s too cold over there, I’ll make room for you down here.” The offer sounded weak and uncertain. Was she afraid he’d accept or that he wouldn’t?
He clenched his fists and debated what to say. If she was frightened, he needed to make her feel safe, but he definitely didn’t want her to feel…
Rather than trying to figure out what she wanted, why didn’t he just ask her? “Will you feel better if I sleep down—”
“Yes.”
Carefully crossing the darkened room, he joined her before the fire. She lifted the quilt then wrapped her arm around his waist as she pressed against his chest. He smoothed the hair back from her face and kissed her forehead. “If you need something, ask. I’m here for you.”
“Do you really mean that?”
He tensed, suspecting he wouldn’t like where this was leading. “Of course.” He swallowed hard, knowing he’d just handed her a blank check.
“Then define me. I never want to be helpless again.”
Chapter Four
Heather Fitzroy fidgeted on the barstool in the back corner of the Clubhouse. She held a beer, slowly rolling the bottle between her palms though she’d yet to bring it to her lips. Her gaze swept the lively crowd, searching for something that would explain her restlessness.
The dance floor was teeming with rowdy Therian wolves and there was a waiting line for the pool tables. The music was too loud and it was likely someone would throw a punch before the night was through. Still, it looked like any other night. A bouncer ensured that only members of Blue River Pack were admitted to the bar, so why couldn’t she sit still?
“You okay?” Lexxie asked, mirroring Heather’s thought.
Heather looked at her friend and smiled. “I’m fine. Really.”
Lexxie tilted her blonde head and pursed her bright-red lips. “You can’t fool me. I know you too well. You’re still pissed about Bruce.” Though her overdone eyeliner made her look like an ancient Egyptian, there was nothing but kindness in her dark-blue eyes.
The horrendous incident lingered in the back of Heather’s mind. She couldn’t explain what was really wrong so she latched on to the misconception. “He was my brother. I can’t just pretend he never existed like everyone else. Dad won’t even allow anyone to speak his name.” It had been exactly a week since the pack elders deemed Bruce unworthy of life. He’d been taken out behind the bar and members of his own pack had ripped him to shreds. “They left him there to die like a piece of garbage.” She shuddered and a cold sort of numbness settled over her heart. “I don’t care what he did. No one deserves to die like that.”
Lexxie didn’t argue. She was faithful to the pack, an obedient beta female who wouldn’t dream of contradicting her alpha. “We can’t change what happened and dwelling on it will only make you miserable.”
Before Heather could reply, her phone blinked to life. She picked it up and saw that Landon, her middle brother, was on the line. Rather than answer the call, she sent him a text. There was no way she could hear him in this place anyway.
What’s up? She looked around as she waited for him to respond. If her father caught her talking to Landon he’d smash her phone. Landon had abandoned his pack and joined the rebels. Now Heather had two brothers she was supposed to pretend had never existed.
Call me. Now. It’s important.
She scooted off the barstool and grabbed her purse, not sure if she’d be back. “I need to take this.”
“Who is it?” Lexxie looked curious, not calculative, but Heather just smiled.
“I’ll be right back.” Maybe.
Heather made a beeline for the kitchen. Fewer people would notice her leaving if she slipped out through the back. She stepped out into the cool mountain air and shivered. The night was actually mild, but in contrast to the crowded bar it was shocking.
Pausing to make sure she was alone, she called Landon. “What’s the matter? I’m at the Clubhouse, so this better be important.”
“We found Dhane.”
“Found him? I didn’t realize Dhane was missing.” She rubbed the bridge of her nose. So damn many secrets. Her father never told her anything.
“Dad wasn’t sure if Dhane was in trouble or just illustrating his disapproval over what happened to Bruce.”
“Where did you find him? Is he okay?”
“We managed to get him stabilized, but he still needs energy. Any chance you can drive down here with Lexxie or one of the other beta females?” He hesitated over the word beta, knowing how much she hated the term. All females were expected to be beta, submissive, obedient. Most fell naturally into the role, but Heather had too much of her father in her to be submissive to anyone.
“Why does Dhane need a female if all he needs is energy? Have one of your cats fill him up and get his ass back here.”
“It’s complicated and each minute we waste debating the issue is another minute Dhane’s in danger. Is Lexxie at the Clubhouse tonight or not?”
“She is.”
“Will you convince her to go for a ride with you?”
“If I drive her out to the cat sanctuary, she’ll be on the phone with Dad before I can pull the parking brake.”
“We’re
at a house, not the sanctuary. If you bring her in on 52, she might not even make the connection.” Landon sighed then added, “If you don’t do this for me, I’m going to have to drive all the way to Silverthorne and then back out here. That’s four hours Dhane doesn’t have.”
“You’re a bastard to put me in this position. Why don’t you bring Dhane home, where he belongs?”
“He’s too weak to move. Heather, I’m not screwing with you. This is serious.”
“Text me an address. I’ll go get Lexxie.”
* * * * *
Devon held her breath as she waited for Ian to respond to her request. Firelight gleamed in his hair, but his face was mostly in shadow. His eyes, however, simmered with warmth and compassion. Would he reject her as he’d done so many times before? He didn’t have to sleep with her to trigger her definition. Surely he realized what had motivated her request. If she’d been able to shift like Dhane, she would have been able to fight her captors. Instead, she’d been powerless, useless, completely at their mercy.
Ian hadn’t laughed or immediately turned her down. Was he thinking about it or just trying to figure out how to say “hell no” without upsetting her? She slowly exhaled, trying to relax. It didn’t help. Tension escalated along with the silence.
“I can’t define you, sweetheart. Definition is forever. You need to be calm and—”
“I am calm,” she stressed, annoyed more by his condescending tone than by his refusal. His rejections always made sense on the surface. She’d been way too young for a flirtation the first time he pushed her away. He’d been protecting her from her own hormones and the temptation of unexplored pleasures. That was noble, understandable. This was different, much harder to justify. “You’re one of, if not the most, powerful Therians alive. Why should I settle for anything less?”
His mouth curved with a reluctant smile and he glanced into the fire. “Rocky Mountain Feline Network is the largest and most powerful Therian network in existence. Your brother is network Prime. That means he’ll want you to—”
“I don’t give a damn what Kyle wants. This is about what I want, what I need.” She sat up and moved far enough away so she could fold her legs in front of her. “I will never be that helpless again. I don’t care what it takes. I will find someone to define me in the next few days. I’d like it to be you, but if you won’t, I’ll keep looking.”
He sat as well. His broad shoulders and muscular chest were outlined by the clingy t-shirt. He was careful to keep himself clothed whenever she was around. Tonight had been an exception. Necessity had trumped his modesty and left her with an unobstructed view of his fabulous body. Unfortunately, she’d been too upset to take advantage of the opportunity and now he was dressed again. Her fingertips tingled, itching to slip beneath his shirt and explore.
Curving his index finger beneath her chin, he raised her face until she looked into his eyes. “I belong to the weakest network.” She’d almost forgotten what they were talking about. “We’re a ragtag group of nearly extinct species. We had to form our own network because none of the thriving clans wanted us.”
She smiled, holding still as she savored his touch. “Are you trying to convince me you’re weak and unwanted? I know better.”
His fingers drifted down her neck then he raised his other hand and cupped her shoulders. The heat of his palms penetrated the fabric separating his skin from hers. She wanted to tear off their t-shirts and press against him skin to skin. She wanted to climb into his lap and wrap her legs around his waist. She wanted so many things that he would never consider.
“I will not destroy my relationship with your mother to make you feel more secure.” His voice took on a steely edge that hadn’t been there before. “I agree that it’s time for you to choose your animal nature and I’m not opposed to you joining my clan, but this can’t be a knee-jerk reaction to what you’ve just been through.”
“It’s my decision, not my mother’s.”
“I’m not going to define you tonight. We’ll see what happens in the next few days, but the subject is closed for now. Lie down and I’ll keep you warm or keep arguing and I’ll go get back in bed.”
“Fine.” She lay on her side and presented him with her back, frustrated by his stubbornness. His words echoed through her mind and she gritted her teeth. He talked to her as if she were a child. It was obvious he still saw her that way. Why couldn’t he realize she’d left childhood behind a long time ago?
She’d spent half her adolescence trying to draw Ian’s attention. It was only after her father told her to stop “lusting after that damn bird” or he’d throw Ian off their land that Devon toned down her antics and focused on boys her own age. Then her father had died and everything changed. Her mother changed and Kyle changed and her inappropriate infatuation had seemed childish even to her. In fact, she’d thought she was over her thing for Ian until he flew to her rescue tonight.
Ian slipped one arm under her neck and wrapped the other around her waist. The position was intimate yet comforting. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine falling asleep in her lover’s arms. Then Ian’s scent filled her nose, connecting her fragmented thoughts. What would it be like to fall asleep in Ian’s arms?
Heat curled through her belly and tension melted from her body as she let the images form. They’d exhaust themselves with bouts of passionate lovemaking and then they’d snuggle together as they drifted off to asleep. Just the thought of it curled her toes.
“It might not have made a difference, you know.” His deep voice intruded on her half-formed fantasy.
“What?”
“If you were the only female who hadn’t been defined, why weren’t the others able to escape?”
The others hadn’t been given the opportunity to rip out the throats of their guards. She shuddered as her mind took her back to the moment. Dhane had been vicious and unrelenting, focused entirely on the kill. It had all happened in a matter of seconds, so why were the images so detailed?
She cleared her throat as she forced the scenes back into the depths of her memory. “The staff at the original lab was well trained and ruthless. If it hadn’t been for a newbie guard, Dhane would have been as helpless as everyone else.” She wiggled a little, hating that she’d just made Ian’s point for him. “That’s why I want you to define me. I don’t want to snarl and roar. I want to fly.”
His arm tightened slightly as he chuckled and tingles raced down her spine. “It only took me three hundred years to master the partial shift and another fifty to learn how to use my wings well enough to get off the ground.”
She rolled to her back and stared up at him, astonished by the implication. “Three hundred and fifty years? How old are you?”
He laughed, white teeth flashing in the dimness before seriousness overtook his expression again. “I’ve been telling you ever since we met that I’m too old for you. Are you finally going to believe me?”
Propping herself up on her elbow, she faced him. “Answer the question. When were you born?”
“Nine months after my mother conceived.”
Mischief made his eyes sparkle and desire spread through her soul. She had never wanted to kiss anyone as much as she wanted to kiss Ian. She couldn’t explain the reaction, but he’d never looked more appealing than he did at that moment. Laughter had been sorely lacking in her life since her father died. If Ian could make her feel safe and happy, what more could she possibly want? She pressed her teeth into her lower lip and balled her hands in the quilt, determined not to make a complete ass of herself. He didn’t think of her like that, probably never would.
Using curiosity to force away the awkward impulse, she pressed on, “Are you hundreds or thousands of years old? Why don’t you age?”
“I’m not sure exactly when I was born. The passage of time meant little back then. The sun rose and set. Seasons came and went. We fought wars and people died. Beyond that, life seldom changed.”
“That’s an evasion if I ever heard one.
Round it to the nearest century. How old are you?”
He sighed then admitted, “Sixteen hundred and twenty years, give or take a decade.”
She sat again, momentarily stunned beyond words. It was quickly becoming apparent how little she knew about him. Is this why she’d never seen him with a mate? Had he outlived several or many? “Did you ever have a mate? Do you have children? Great-great-great-grandchildren stashed away somewhere?”
“I was mated once, a very long time ago.” He sat as well, mirroring her position as he folded his legs in front of him. “She was killed before we had children.”
“And you never tried again? I thought continuing the bloodline was an instinctive drive for Therian males.”
“It is. But unlike Therian felines who can form a bond with anyone they choose, Therian raptors must search for that one special person who triggers the ‘pull’ in them. It’s an extremely strong attraction that makes it obvious the couple is meant to bond for life.”
“Rather like feline heat?”
He shook his head. “Feline heat affects any Therian male who encounters the female. The pull I’m talking about only attracts the couple to each other. It’s more like when wolf-shifters find their mate.”
“And without this bond, raptors are unable to have children?”
“Yes.”
“Is there only one mate for each Therian raptor?” If so, his hope for children died with his wife. The possibility was too sad to even consider.
“Of course not. I’ve searched for a new mate, but I haven’t felt the bonding pull with anyone else. At least not yet. I haven’t given up hope but, as you can imagine, it’s frustrating.”
He’d only had one mate in over sixteen hundred years? That had to be more than frustrating. Of course, he must have had countless lovers. He’d just never found that one special someone who stirred more than desire. His gaze moved over her face and an odd intensity came into his eyes. He looked almost as if… No, that wasn’t possible. She’d never been able to spark romantic interest in Ian before. She must be projecting her own feelings onto him.
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