by Rhonda Shaw
“Here goes nothing,” I muttered.
Wobbling in the heels, I crossed the room to the door without tripping, and yanked it open. Danny stood in his trademark stance, shoulders hunched forward as he leaned against the doorjamb, wearing a black T-shirt under his black hoodie and his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans. His head lifted when the door opened.
“Hi!” I cringed when it came out like a screech.
His eyes bugged before he could stop them, as he took in my appearance and straightened. I was happy to see he still stood taller than I did, even with the stupid heels.
I stepped back and opened the door further. “Come in.”
He entered and glanced around, his sharp blue eyes landing on my mother and sister, who hovered in the back hallway. He tensed when he spotted them.
I smiled and laid a hand on his arm, trying to reassure him. “Danny, this is my mom and my sister, Monica.”
He stepped forward with his hand outstretched. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Wells. Hey.” He lifted his chin toward Monica. “I didn’t know there were two of you walking around.”
“Well, if you showed up…” Monica broke off when she spotted the deadly glare I shot her from behind him.
He caught her meaning and his lips twitched. “You’re right, I probably should.”
“Do you live around here, Danny?” Mom asked.
He rubbed his hand over his hair and looked down. “Oh yeah, not too far from here. On Bonaventure.”
“With your family?”
He shrugged and shoved his hands back in his pockets. “Just me and my dad.”
“What does your father do?”
“Not much.”
She faltered when it was apparent he wasn’t going to elaborate. “Oh…”
I gritted my teeth in a tight smile, the tension in the room smothering, and picked up my purse from the table, eager to get out of there.
“Are you ready?” I reached for my gray sweatshirt hanging on the hook by the front door.
Monica made a squeak of a sound and gave a quick shake of her head. She rushed to our bedroom and returned with a jean jacket in her hand.
“You left your coat in our room, Gab.” She tossed it to me.
Once Danny and I were out in the hallway and the door shut behind us, I sighed as I sagged against the wall. “I’m sorry about that.”
He smiled. “It’s only going to get worse.”
I straightened, now happy for the added height since my eyes were almost level with his. “Wait a minute! What about my condition? You agreed to it.”
He chuckled. “Baby, I agreed I wouldn’t assume what you were thinking, not what others were.”
“That’s not fair. You—”
He stopped me by grabbing my hand and pulling me closer, touching his lips gently to mine. “You look amazing, G.”
“Thanks,” I breathed. He’d caught me off guard by the kiss—my first one—and my lips tingled from the feel of his.
“You ready?”
I nodded and let him lead me down the hallway, and out the front door of the apartment building. Once outside, I regained my senses from the surprise kiss and tugged on his hand. I smiled when his eyes met mine. “Smooth change of subject, D.”
He gave one of his rare full laughs and a burst of warmth filled me.
“I thought it was Danny?” he said.
“Oh, it is, but that was a D move.”
He jerked to a stop and stared at me, unfiltered amazement crossing over his face. “You think there’s a difference?”
“I know there is. I just need to learn where one stops and the other begins.”
Danny studied me for a moment before shaking his head and turning away. “You’d be the first,” he murmured. He walked over to an old rusted red Buick parked along the curb and opened the passenger door. “Most only want to know D.”
I stopped on the opposite side of the door from him. “I want to know both, but mostly I’m interested in Danny.”
~ Danny ~
I shut the door and shook my head again as I passed in front of the car toward the driver’s side. “You’re better off not knowing either of them,” I muttered.
I drove to the restaurant, located outside of town and picked on purpose, not wanting to go anywhere we might run into anyone. I wanted us to be able to talk without interruption and without any speculative looks. People were already talking about us, and I didn’t want to give them any more ammunition. Things with her needed to stay on the down low.
I snuck a sideways glance at her sitting across from me, watching the world pass by outside her window, and wondered what lottery I’d won. No way in a million years would I have ever imagined I’d be so lucky to have this amazing looking woman beside me. Not only was she gorgeous with an incredible body, which I’d suspected was hidden beneath the clothes she wore, but she was straight and clean. She wasn’t a fucked-up mess like most of the girls I’d grown up with, who only wanted to party hard and get laid.
Nobody had any ambition to leave this godforsaken town, just like their parents. Once out of high school—if they even graduated—they would be next in line for a job at the local factory, and soon they would become alcoholics who worked during the day, drank when they got home, and got shit-faced over the weekend, only to start the process over the next week. The tradition would continue, but not for me. I was determined—no, I was unyielding in my plan—to get out of Dodge as quick as possible, and hip-hop was my ticket.
Focused on my goal, I ignored everything around me, resolute not to let anything stand in my way. I would have continued that way if one girl hadn’t wriggled her way into my field of vision, leaving me helpless to get her out.
I wasn’t an idiot; I realized Gabrielle was too good for me. She deserved so much more than I could ever give her, even if I did manage to make it big. She was smart, gorgeous, and had goals for herself. She didn’t deserve the cynical, contemptuous bastard that was me. But no matter how much I told myself to back off and stay away, I couldn’t.
I tried to be placated with the daily walks and simply being around her, refusing to talk much, not wanting to discover anything more about her; knowing if I did, I wouldn’t be able to ignore my growing attraction toward her. I’d been hard on her at first, but the coldness had served as a means to keep some distance between us. The last thing I wanted was for her to learn about me, and laugh at the pathetic and depressing reality of my life. But when she’d told me about her dad, a glimmer of hope formed that perhaps this girl from the other side of the tracks would understand me, even if only a little bit. At that point, there was no choice. I had to have her.
And now she sat in my car, looking like an angel sent down from heaven, and I was a tongue-tied loser. I didn’t know what to say and words were rarely a struggle for me. So, I went with what was forefront in my mind.
“Hey.” I reached out and tugged a strand of her hair. “I like your hair down like that.”
Her lips twitched, and she dropped her gaze down to her hands folded in her lap. “I’ve already heard from my mom and Monica how I look like crap most of the time.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I know.” She had a teasing glint in her eye. “I’m only giving you a hard time.”
I smiled and shook my head before glancing back at her. “I told you what one of your nicknames was.”
“G?”
“No, the other one. Double G.”
“Oh, right. What does that mean? It sounds like a bra size.”
I chuckled. “Nah, it’s not a bra size. Gorgeous G.”
She gave me a big smile as the color rose in her cheeks. I loved it when she blushed.
“So, where did you get the car?” she asked, trying to deflect the attention from her. “I didn’t know you had one.”
“I’ve been working on it at the garage and finally got it running. It’s been dead for a while, but I was able to save up the money to buy the spare parts I ne
eded.”
“I wish I could get a car.”
“You don’t need one. I can take you wherever you need to go.”
She stared at me before shaking her head. “You can’t take me everywhere.”
“Why not?”
“Well, I don’t know. It doesn’t seem reasonable.”
“I don’t see a problem with it.”
I parked the car in a large lot and walked around to open her door. Once inside, we followed the hostess to a blood red vinyl booth in a corner of the dark Italian restaurant. The dining room was dim, with tea lights in red plastic bubble candle holders lighting each table, and the heavy scent of garlic, onions, and tomatoes filled the air. Everyone spoke in hushed tones, and quiet operatic music played in the background from speakers hung here and there around the room.
“I hope you like Italian food,” I said as we studied the menu.
“Yeah, I do. It’s great.”
“I figured you can’t go wrong, but you never know…” I stopped, aware I was chattering from nerves, which I never did. This girl had thrown me off.
“Its fine, Danny. Really.”
“Sorry.” I gave her a sheepish grin. “You got me nervous, G.”
“You? I’m sweating bullets over here.” She lifted her menu and it trembled.
I reached across the table and, taking one of her hands, threaded my fingers through hers and squeezed. “You’re perfect. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”
“And neither do you.”
We smiled at each other before laughing, which helped the nerves to fall away. After placing our orders with the waitress, silence fell between us, neither of us knowing where to begin.
“Tell me about your songs,” she eventually said. “What do you rap about?”
“Anything and everything.”
“Yeah, but what inspires you?”
I paused, taking a moment to formulate my answer because I was distracted by my chest expanding and filling with gratitude at her genuine interest. I couldn’t recall the last time anyone took the time to ask, or was curious about me. “Life. My life. The things I see and go through. The people I meet.” I paused, considering, and then cleared my throat. “It’s hard to explain, but it’s difficult for me to just…talk about things, but I find if I can jot down phrases, a rhyme or whatever, and put a mean mix to it, it all comes pouring out.”
“I’m impressed. There’s no way I’d be able to rap anything. My mouth and my brain don’t work that quickly.” She laughed, the soft sound doing weird things to my stomach.
“I’d never be able to dance on my toes.”
“I could teach you.”
“Hell, no. I’ll leave the dancing to you. So, that’s what you want to do, huh? Dance?”
“Yeah, I hope to make it into Juilliard.”
“What’s that? Some sort of dance school?” She nodded. “Why wouldn’t you?”
“If I don’t get a scholarship, then I won’t be able to afford it. I may not even get in.”
“Again, why wouldn’t you?”
“I may not be good enough.”
I scoffed. “I doubt that.”
“How would you know? You’ve never seen me dance.”
“I know because I know. I can see your passion for it. That’s what counts.”
She smiled at me, and at that moment, I wanted to do whatever she asked of me, give her everything she desired. “You’re going to make it big, aren’t you, D?”
I smiled at her over the steaming plate of pasta the server placed on the table between us. “That’s the plan, G.”
And right then, I hoped she might become part of it.
Chapter 11
~ Gabrielle ~
Six Years Earlier
We sat in the car in the parking lot of the restaurant after dinner talking, bouncing from one topic to another, sponging up everything about each other. We hadn’t meant for it to happen, but the conversation continued to flow and neither of us wanted the date to end, wanting to continue discovering all there was to know about the other.
Danny grabbed my hands in his. “I want to ask you about your dad, but I’ll understand if you don’t want to talk about it. Okay?”
I swallowed and nodded.
“Do you think about it a lot?” His thumbs rubbed small circles on the back of my hands.
I took a deep breath and gazed out the dirty front windshield. I liked the feel of the strength in his hands as they grasped mine, and it somehow helped me to gather the courage to discuss what had happened.
“Yeah, I think about it. I try not to, but it’s hard.” I gave a wistful smile. “But it isn’t like what everyone probably thinks. They probably think I’m sad and upset.”
His brows bent in surprise. “You’re not?”
“Well, I am, but mostly I’m angry.” My eyes tightened on his. “How dare he take the easy way out, you know? He got himself tied up in all these bad deals and got us in more debt than you can imagine, and then just left my mom to bail us out. He didn’t trust her enough to tell her, or that she would stand by his side through it. It isn’t fair to her, and isn’t fair to Monica and me to have to completely change our lives because he couldn’t deal with it himself.”
“So that’s why you moved here?”
I nodded. “We couldn’t get anything from insurance since his death was a suicide, so it’s all we could afford and close to where my mom was able to find a job. This is the only place willing to give her a chance since she didn’t have any work experience. She was a stay-at-home mom right out of college before this.”
“Where did you live before?”
“In Rochester.”
He chuckled. “Damn. Way on the other side of the tracks.”
I smiled, but it quickly fell from my face. “But you know what, Danny? I know you’re thinking I want to go back because that’s where I fit in, but you’re wrong. I didn’t fit in there either. They made fun of me there too. I don’t fit in anywhere.”
“Hey.” He scooted closer on the bench seat and ran his fingers through my hair. “Don’t think like that. You don’t want to just ‘fit in,’ you know? Because that means you’re conforming, and that’s not you. You’re your own person and you know what you want. You know exactly who you are and that’s what I like about you. Hell, I respect the fuck out of that. Who cares if you don’t run with the crowd? I hate all these posers who go along with everyone else because they can’t fucking think for themselves.”
“You really believe that?”
“Yeah, I believe that.”
“Thank you.” I glanced down, embarrassed by what I was about to say. “Can I tell you something and you promise you won’t laugh at me?”
“I will never laugh at you, baby. Never.”
I bit my lip and squirmed before blurting out, “This is my first date. Ever.”
Disbelief washed over his face. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“Nope. Eighteen years old and first ever.”
“Well,” he said, and started the car. “It’s their loss, sweetheart. That’s all I’ve got to say.”
“Where are we going?”
He grinned at me as he turned out of the parking lot. “I’m about to pump up this date so it will be the only first date you remember.”
* * *
Danny parked and came alongside to open the passenger door. When I stepped out into the shadowy night, the cool wind stirred up my hair and I shivered. “Where are we?”
He took my hand in his. “Come this way.”
We walked through a dim park, lit by a spattering of tall lampposts, only a few of which were working. We had crossed a bridge, which ended on a small island, and all around us, only the dark expanse of water was visible. Off in the distance, the buildings of the city shone brilliantly, casting a white glow against the black backdrop of the sky; but here, the bright lights barely reached us. The wind was brisk off the water, and I picked up my step in order to snuggle closer to him as I hel
d my jacket closed.
We came to a wood bench at the point of the island, and he sat, pulling me down next to him and draping his arm across my shoulders. Heat poured off him and I turned into his side.
“You cold?” His mouth hovered over my ear, his warm breath tickling my neck.
I shook my head. “Not anymore. Where are we?”
“I come here a lot. The quiet helps me to think, figure shit out. I’ve thrown down some mean lyrics here.”
“It’s nice here,” I murmured, enjoying the calming influence of the water as it lapped against the rugged shoreline, the sound occasionally breaking through the silence around us.
He nodded as he stared straight ahead. Even in the darkness, I recognized the edge in his eyes. “I’ve never brought anyone here.”
I sat up in wonder, reading between the lines. He was a guarded person, and for him to let someone else into his private world showed trust. The dynamics between us were changing at warp speed, and while this excited me, tiny vines of anxiety crept in, threatening to crack the fragile hold on my level-headedness.
“Thank you.” My words were simple, but I hoped they conveyed the enormity of my feelings.
He shook his head as he turned away. I thought I’d said something wrong, but then he chuckled. “What?” I asked.
“That’s why you’re dope, G. You fucking get me. No one else would ever understand the importance of this place for me.”
I scooted back, putting some space between us. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Why do you trust me? You don’t know me.”
Danny’s eyes traveled over my face before they came back to mine. “Why do you trust me?”
I frowned as I struggled to put into words what I’d innately understood from the second I’d laid eyes on him. Everything felt right with him. How I knew, however, I couldn’t explain.
He waited for me to answer and when I could not find the words, he smiled. “I feel the same way.”