by Lucy Lennox
“I’m not saying a single word,” I replied, still laughing.
The elevator arrived at the lobby and we found everyone waiting for us by a coffee cart.
The radio station visit went off without a hitch and before I knew it, it was time for our final concert. As we made our way to the Hollywood Bowl, I began to get excited about seeing my family the following day in Napa. After that, I would have several months of downtime to recuperate at home, write new material, record the next album, and make time for my family.
The concert that night was amazing. More than fifteen thousand people were there and they all seemed to share the energy of our final performance, reflecting it back to us in their screams and chants. Bon Jovi showed up and joined us on stage for a song. The entire night couldn’t have gone any better for our final show.
When we got called back for our last encore, I sat on my stool, idly strumming the intro to “Sweet Home Alabama” as I waited for everyone to settle into their places. I could see Derek waiting for me in the wings and I winked at him. Anyone watching would have thought I was winking to Jae or Ollie or even fans in the wings. But that one was just for him. Under the lights, I wasn’t able to see his reaction, but I imagined him twisting his tongue in his teeth to keep from laughing.
When the band was settled and ready, I began singing “Bluebells” with more intention than I had in a long time. I sang it for Blue, who had encouraged me to fight through my heartbreak and prove to myself and the world I could succeed. I sang it for me, to remind myself that my heartbreak had made me stronger and left me better off than before. And a small part of me sang it that night for Derek. In six years of performing that song, it was the first time I sang of those memories in the past tense.
15
Derek
After the concert Jude was sucked into a vortex of fandom unlike we’d seen for a while. It started off with an unbelievable backstage visit from Jon Bon Jovi himself. I was a big fan of his and enjoyed seeing him up close, but when he put his arm around Jude for pictures, I felt faint curls of jealousy winding around my gut. Suddenly, Bon Jovi didn’t look quite so tempting.
Because it was Los Angeles and the final show of the tour, Jude’s manager, Clint, had arranged too many meet-and-greets after the show. There was dinner with the recording company executives excitedly talking about the next album already, and then drinks afterward with some VIPs Clint said were critical to setting up the success of the next tour.
As the night wore on, I could see Jude flagging. He looked like a cheap latex balloon deflating before our very eyes. It was one in the morning before he was finally released from his responsibilities and escorted back to the hotel.
When we entered the suite, Jude was still explaining to Jae that she had her own hotel room that night across the hall. I sat on the sofa in the common room while he waited for her to gather her things.
After she left, Jude crawled into my lap and buried his face in my shoulder. My hands instinctively went around him to hold him close, lips finding his temple and pressing a kiss there. “You okay?” I asked.
I felt Jude nod his head against my shoulder and then say in a muffled voice, “Is this okay? Want me to move?”
“Hell no,” I replied. “Honestly, I’ve wanted to touch you all day.”
“When I saw you sitting on the couch in my dressing room after the concert, all I could think about was wishing I could straddle your lap and just fall asleep against you.”
I let out a breath and relaxed into him. “That would have been nice.”
“I miss being touched, Wolfe. Maybe I didn’t realize it before because I was just so used to going without. But today all I could think about was touching you and feeling your hands on me. Is there…? Is there any way we could…?” He let out a deep sigh.
I pulled his face back to look into his eyes. “Is there any way we could…?” I asked.
Jude was blushing. “Never mind.” He tried to lay his head back down on my shoulder but I stopped him, holding his face in my hands.
“I hope to god you were getting ready to ask if there’s any way we could have sex again.” I smiled at him and he grinned.
“That was certainly part of it.” Jude let out a breath. “It’s just awkward because you kind of work for me, and I don’t want to put you in a bad position.”
“Trying not to make a joke about positions you could put me in.” I laughed. “I know how to say no, and I know you’re not the kind of person to use my job against me.”
“Good, because I wouldn’t. I promise. And I know you would speak up if I ever made you uncomfortable,” he said.
“I would indeed. Now, am I going to have to pull out my advanced interrogation techniques on you or are you going to ask me what else you want to ask me?”
“Fine. Is there any way we could just enjoy having regular sex with each other without the drama of a relationship? I mean, clearly you’re not out, I’m not out. You said you’re not really the relationship type, and I certainly don’t feel like traveling through that quicksand again. But I love touching you and feeling you touch me, and I would love to share a bed with you and I trust y—”
I stopped him with a kiss before he could continue his nervous rambling. “Yes, perfect. Now stop talking.” As I gathered him up, I returned to kissing him. Halfway to my bedroom we were already panting and hard, Jude’s hands roaming all through my hair and behind my neck. I dropped him down onto the big bed and took a minute to lock up both the suite and my bedroom properly. When I returned to my bed, I stood back to appreciate his flushed face and swollen red lips. He looked so sexy that I felt the anticipation of being back inside of his body rocket through me. Just as I reached for the hem of my shirt, I heard a knocking on the outer door.
My eyes shot to Jude’s and I saw the same guilty fear race through his as I felt in mine. Luckily the fear deflated my cock almost immediately, and I held back a groan.
It was just Jae retrieving a few shopping bags she’d left by the door to the suite. Once she was gone, I hustled back into my room to find Jude dead asleep, still fully dressed in the center of the bed. I carefully stripped him down to his boxers and then did the same to myself.
Sliding under the covers, I gathered Jude in my arms and sighed with relief. Holding him while he slept was like getting into my own bed after months of being on the road, and I fell asleep almost as quickly as he had.
Several hours later I awoke to knocking on the outer door of the suite. I untangled myself from Jude’s sleeping form and made my way to my bedroom door. Stumbling out, still half-asleep, I assumed it was Jae needing something else or just being generally high-maintenance.
It wasn’t Jae.
16
Jude
I came awake to the sound of Derek’s voice in my ear.
“Wake up Jude. We have a little situation,” he said in a low voice.
“What? Where are we?” I asked.
“The hotel. Los Angeles. I don’t know how he found our suite, but a really drunk-ass fan just showed up. I’m pretty sure it’s that guy who tried to kiss you after the San Francisco show the other night. The cops are on their way.”
I sat up and tried to grasp what he was saying. A fan from home? Here?
Derek threw his clothes on before tossing me mine.
“Where is he?” I asked, slipping them on.
“Hotel security is taking him to their office. I want you to come tell me if you agree it’s the same man so we can file a report.”
“Jesus,” I muttered.
I rubbed my eyes and ran my hands through my hair. It was after five in the morning and I felt like ass. After grabbing my glasses, I slipped on some shoes.
“Okay, Wolfe. Lead the way.”
As I stood next to Derek in the elevator, I felt myself falling back to sleep on my feet. His hand clamped down on my shoulder as he laughed softly.
“You still with me, Bluebell? Should I go back and get you a blankie?”
“Shut u
p,” I mumbled, removing my glasses to rub my eyes again.
It was, indeed, the same man. And Derek was right. He was loaded. Slurring and proclaiming his love for me at the top of his lungs as the cops marched him through the lobby to the street, he insisted that night’s show had been the best concert ever, and he just had to tell me himself.
The LAPD officers who responded agreed to take the guy in on a drunk and disorderly charge but said that was all they could do since he didn’t really commit a crime. There was no history of stalking or harassment, but they cautioned Wolfe to keep an eye out. Having been involved in many celebrity stalker cases, the LAPD was aware of how quickly they can escalate from a drunken door knock to an obsession.
As they led him out of the hotel, the drunk man squinted back at me one more time, “But Juuuuude, I neeeed you to loooove meee! You’re my special sweetieeeee.” Then he broke out into a fit of giggles that ended in a fit of dry-heaving in front of the door. After he calmed down, he looked at the officer to the right of him and stage-whispered, “Isn’t he just as cute as a pug?”
Great. Just great. Now Derek was going to call me a pug.
By the time we returned to the suite, it was after seven in the morning and I felt like I’d been hit by a bus. We were due at the airport in just a couple of hours to fly to my sister’s wedding.
Derek joined me on the sofa, and I leaned against him.
“Not a word about this to my family,” I warned.
“No problem, pug.”
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. Derek chuckled and pulled me into his arms, laying a kiss on my forehead. “I’m sorry. Your fans can be crazy sometimes. Does it worry you?”
“Kind of. But at the same time, I’m getting used to it. Not sure if that’s a good thing or not.”
“I’ll need to make some calls to Joel at the office and have them double-check the security on your house. We won’t go back there Sunday night until we’re sure this guy isn’t planning on coming around,” he said, rubbing his warm hands up and down my back in a soothing rhythm.
“Damn it,” I said. “At least they have several days to do their thing before we get back. I’m not going to be threatened into staying somewhere besides my own damned house.”
“Let’s just wait and see. In the meantime, we’re heading to Napa and don’t have to worry about him right away. Thankfully that vineyard is private and pretty small. It should be easy to notice anyone out of the ordinary.”
“Jesus, I hope so. That’s all we need at Simone’s wedding.” I leaned my head against his chest and rested for a minute before speaking again. “I can’t decide if I want to try to sleep for another hour or if that will just make me feel worse,” I said.
“No, let’s go ahead and head to the airport. We’ll catch an earlier flight and get settled at the hotel so you can sleep longer than an hour.” Derek patted me on the knee before pushing me onto my feet. “Hustle up, Bluebell. Places to go, people to see. How about we shower together to save water?” He winked before grabbing my hand.
“I think you secretly enjoy rushing me,” I grumbled as I got up and followed him to the bathroom.
Once I was at the vineyard, I got a second wind. Greeting all my family members was energizing because I hadn’t seen most of them since Jamie’s aborted attempt to get married several months before.
Blue asked me to take a walk with him so he could catch me up on the saga involving the fake boyfriend. Derek followed behind, never letting me leave his sight after what had happened the night before. Blue seemed to spark with energy over the man named Tristan who owned the vineyard. I listened while he spoke and was surprised by how jealous I was.
As it was, I felt like I had only a tenuous hold on my ability to keep Derek at a distance. I craved personal connection. Keeping everyone at arm’s length was exhausting. I needed to remember to enjoy the physical without wishing for more. As Ari’s visit had reminded me, it would just be easier that way.
When we finished our walk, Derek caught up to us and quietly pointed out I was about to keel over from sleep deprivation. I agreed to take a rest and specifically didn’t invite him to join me. We had rooms side by side. Entering my room alone, I forced myself not to look back to see if he was bothered I hadn’t invited him in. He had a key to my room for security reasons, but I knew he wouldn’t use it unless it was an emergency.
Throughout the time at the vineyard with my family, I managed to keep Derek at a distance. Maybe he sensed I wasn’t comfortable hooking up with him that close to my family, or maybe he wasn’t that interested in me to begin with.
The only time things really got personal between us at the vineyard was when Derek thought he couldn’t find me on Friday evening. We were hanging out on the back patio of the lodge before the rehearsal dinner when he got a phone call. After he stepped away to take it, I went back to my room to take a shower and get ready.
I was standing under the spray of the shower when Derek burst through my bathroom door with an angry growl, scaring me half to death and causing me to almost pull the shower curtain off its hooks. In the blink of an eye, he had my naked, dripping wet body up against the shower wall pressed into the cool tiles by his very large, very dry, fully dressed self. Before I could even wonder what the hell was happening, his hungry mouth landed on mine like a heat-seeking missile.
17
Derek
When I’d ended the phone call with my main office after hearing about a breakin at Jude’s house, I felt frustrated and helpless, which in turn made me feel angry. How could this be happening when he had a team of security professionals specifically hired for the purpose of keeping him safe? I knew I was going to have to tell Jude about the breakin, so I turned to find him on the patio. He wasn’t there.
I asked his brothers where he’d gone, assuming it was to the men’s room, but they were in the middle of some argument about what they were supposed to wear to the rehearsal dinner.
“Where’s Jude?” I asked again, only this time I used my military command voice. The voice that meant business. Four pairs of wide eyes turned to stare at me.
Maverick was the first to make a sentence. “I, uh, think he went back inside.”
I stormed into the lodge, feeling an irrational sense of nerves about the coincidence of finding out about a second security incident at the same time I lost track of Jude in person. There was hardly ever a time when I didn’t know exactly where Jude Marian was. Even if I wasn’t in the same room with him, I knew where he was. This may have seemed like a silly thing to civilians, but to a security specialist, losing track of the body you’re supposed to be protecting was kind of a big deal.
He wasn’t in the lobby or the lobby men’s room. I strode down the hotel room hallway, rifling through my wallet for Jude’s room key. When I found it, I was surprised to see my hand shaking. I was known in the Marines for being unflappable. Nerves were not something I did.
When I entered Jude’s hotel room, it was empty. For a split second my stomach dropped at the realization he might actually be missing, but then I heard the shower running.
Thank god.
I barged into the bathroom, pissed he’d left without telling me where he was going. I fully intended to bark my frustration at him. That is, until I saw his perfect fucking body flushed and wet from the shower.
The energy of my relief came barreling out in a rush of pure greedy lust. Jude was there. Jude was safe. Jude was naked.
Before I could stop myself, I had that sexy man up against the shower wall whimpering into my mouth. My hands were all over him, and I felt his cock stiffen quickly enough to stab me in the gut. His legs came up to wrap around my waist and his hips rolled into me.
“Wolfe, not that I’m complaining, but what the hell?” he gasped.
“Want you,” I replied between hungry nibbles on his neck.
“Take me,” he said before starting to work on separating me from my wet clothes. I helped remove them, trying not to dwell on
the ridiculous instinct that resulted in soaking my leather shoes.
Before shucking my pants, I grabbed my wallet to retrieve the condom and lube I’d restocked several days before. If I’d thought my hands were shaking before, they were downright uncontrollable now. I wanted Jude Marian frantically. No, I needed him. Needed to crawl inside him and just feel him all around me. Anchor myself in his body. Hold the man still and safe and connected to me for a moment in time.
I flipped him around until he was facing the shower wall before pressing into him with a slick finger. My lips grazed his earlobe as I fingered him and rasped out dirty promises into his ear. Jude quaked at my words and pleaded for me to fuck him. Whatever this was between us was raw and frenzied, breathless and hot.
As soon as I could, I withdrew my fingers and bent my knees down enough to slide my stiff cock inside his tight passage. My relief came out in a loud groan, and blood pounded in my ears. I took a moment to curl around Jude’s body and just hold him. My front was slick against his back and my arms wrapped around his front in a possessive embrace. I nuzzled my nose against the nape of his neck, the top of his spine, the angled blades of his shoulders. My throat was packed full of sappy words that wanted to spill out, but I pressed my teeth together as hard as I could to keep them in.
There was no room between us for those words.
When I felt him begin to wiggle, I answered him with a thrust. Out, in, stroke after stroke. I pulled back to watch my cock disappear into his body and teased a thumb along the top of his ass crack to feel his muscles clench around my erection. God, that was hot. My other palm slid up and down his back before grabbing his hip and changing the angle.
Jude cursed, and I stayed at that angle, stroking in and out of him until my head was buzzing and my nerves sparked like live wires. I felt more than saw Jude grab his own cock to jack himself. His noises were incoherent, and I could barely process any sounds over the rush of the water and the blood in my ears.
“Jude,” I breathed. “Jude.”
His body pulsed, intensifying into a full orgasmic spasm around my cock. I felt like I was splintering apart, flying into a million pieces of jagged, shimmering pleasure.