“Then perhaps a cup of hot chocolate will revive him upon his return.”
“Will there be anything else?”
“No, not for the moment.”
“Might I take the liberty of saying how glad I am that things are better between you and the master, ma’am?” She smiled, curtseyed, and turned to leave.
“Thank you, so am I.”
* * *
Charlotte spent the next few hours reading her book, watching the clock and listening for the sound of the gig on the gravel outside.
At last, the long awaited sound of the wheels crunching on the gravel drive reached her ears and she jumped up from the sofa and almost ran to the door, Mrs Higgs following closely behind her.
As he dismounted the gig and handed the reins to Dawkins, Mr Collins looked at his wife and shook his head.
She led him silently into the house where he quitted himself of his hat and coat and with his shoulders bowed went into the sitting room. Charlotte followed him and took hold of his hand as he sat down, his countenance heavy with the sorrow of the day. Charlotte's look of entreaty led him reluctantly to speak.
He shook his head and squeezed her hand, “He is in the Lord's hands now.”
20
The Collinses had taken their dinner of lamb stew and had retired to bed immediately afterwards. Mr Collins looked exhausted and Charlotte knew that such duties weighed heavily upon him. She therefore slipped out of bed in the morning without a sound, wishing for Mr Collins to get all the sleep that he needed after such a tiresome day as the previous one.
Charlotte sat alone in the sitting room sewing by the window for a little over an hour before she heard Mr Collins ring the bell for hot water. She joined him in their bedroom and asked him if he had slept well. He replied that he had and thanked her for not waking him.
“I have many things which need my attention this morning with regards to the funeral and the earthly remains of Mr Norris; however, I do not wish to intrude on the family's grief by visiting too early in the day.”
“You are very wise Mr Collins. One would assume that sleep did not come easily for any one of their family last night.” she said as she passed him a clean shirt, “One would also think that they would be unlikely be ready for visitors at any time today.”
“Precisely my dear. Your understanding is very good. It will also give me time to begin the preparations for this Sunday's sermon, as I do not know if I will be permitted much time under such circumstances.”
“Indeed Mr Collins, however, do not forget that Mr Abbot is due to call upon you this morning. He expressed a desire to assist you, should you so wish.”
Mr Collins pulled a face, indicating that he did not wish to accept such help.
Charlotte saw it and continued, “Perhaps it will be wise to accept his offer of help William. After all, your tasks are many and you have merely one pair of hands with which to do them all. I suggest you accept and allow him to shoulder some of the burden.” She handed him his cravat, “and I for one would not wish to see you over working yourself, my dear.”
Mr Collins turned to Charlotte and kissed her on her forehead, “Your concern does you credit. I believe you are right.”
Charlotte smiled to herself, twice in one week she had been right, Things are looking up! she thought cheekily.
* * *
Mr and Mrs Abbot joined them after they had breakfasted and Mr Collins repaired to his book room with Mr Abbot to discuss the delegation of the required preparations ahead, Mr Collins felt that even the poor should be given a decent funeral. Charlotte and Mrs Abbot stayed in the sitting room and the latter filled her in on the events of the evening's party at the Thomas' home.
“Colonel Fitzwilliam was greatly grieved to find you were not present Mr Collins, you have yourself a great champion in that young man.” stated Mrs Abbot as she sipped her tea.
“I am glad to know I was missed as much as I missed being present, and yes, I believe you are correct; Colonel Fitzwilliam has been a very useful friend indeed. Neither Mr Collins nor I have heard from Lady Catherine since he spoke with her. Although Mr Collins will have to visit her as usual on Monday mornings unless there presents any other calls upon his time.” She smiled, and Mrs Abbot smiled back pleased with how things had turned out.
“I would wish to thank you also Mrs Abbot for your hand in managing events. I believe I would have been lost indeed if you had not also come to my rescue.”
“Nonsense my dear! There is no need to thank me for doing what any friend would have done in my place.”
“Oh Mrs Abbot, you are too modest. I certainly do not believe that everyone would have acted as you did. For sure the thought may have occurred to them, but let us be honest; there is a great deal of difference between thinking about helping and actually carrying out that help.” Mrs Abbot simply smiled back at Charlotte and nodded in acceptance of her proffered thanks.
“Do tell me Mrs Abbot, how goes it with Miss Thomas and Mr Simmons?”
Mrs Abbot's face lit up at the question, “Oh my dear! Mrs Thomas has great hopes for her sister-in-law. Mr Simmons continues in his addresses and it is plain for all to see that he esteems her much as he always did.”
“I am very pleased to hear it. I was so aggrieved when Louisa related her history to me; I could not rest until I had done something to throw them into each other’s path once again.” Charlotte blushed at her own confession.
“Oh no need to blush or be embarrassed my dear, as you said before many may have wished such a thing but few would have acted to bring it about. I believe your idea to invite him that night to your card party was inspired and I for one applaud you. Miss Thomas, it is plain to see, is still in love with him, and obviously regretted what happened in the past and the interference of a certain person we know.” She took a deep breath and exhaled heavily as if expelling the thought of Lady Catherine from her body, “Mr Simmons is now, shall we say, providently unshackled and no longer have either a tie to Rosings, therefore I believe they are free at long last to follow their hearts. Indeed I do. I believe that everyone should marry the one they love.”
Again, Charlotte blushed and looked down into her teacup, remembering that she and Mr Collins had not married for love but thought it was best not to say a word on that matter. There was no love in her marriage and she suspected that it was evident and was saddened by the thought.
Mrs Abbot saw the look of sadness pass across Charlotte's face but chose to ignore it by asking if she might have another cup of tea. And as Charlotte obliged her, she wished that Charlotte knew love and that Mr Collins would love her, but she reflected; it is obvious he did not marry her for love. Besides, the man can hardly see past the blinding light that is Lady Catherine, let alone see how wonderful a woman his wife is long enough to fall in love with her and make her fall in love with him in return.
* * *
Mr Collins and Mr Abbot were occupied greatly during the rest of the week preparing for old Ted Norris' funeral. It had been decided to hold a service in the church for friends and family rather than have it all at the graveside. Mr Collins reluctantly agreed with Mr Abbot that a pauper's funeral was distasteful and as the man had been an important part of the community, that he deserved a much better send off.
Charlotte had visited with Mrs Brown who was usually in charge of flower arrangement at the church and was more than willing to do her part and beautify the church for old Ted's funeral service. Once she had accomplished the tasks Mr Collins had set her, Charlotte was left without an occupation. Therefore, again she began her long walks, which she had missed recently. It felt good to get out into the fresh air once again and to feel free after the sorrow and misery of the last few weeks.
Like anyone who has had the hand of Death pass close by them, Charlotte began to think about her life as she walked. She remembered fondly her childhood, growing up in Meryton. The joy and excitement when her father was first made Mayor, which was heightened further when he was knigh
ted and became Sir Lucas.
She thought about what little schooling she had been given, but that it was only the same as what the Bennet girls had received also. Then she thought of those friends, so far away now, Jane and Lizzy, all the fun they had had together, the balls, parties, and all the laughter they had shared. All three of them married, and how different their situations now were. She then, thought of her own marriage, first meeting with Mr Collins and his proposal. Charlotte remembered when she had first arrived in Kent; she had been terribly lonely but sanguine about her situation in life. Not long thereafter she had been visited by her father, Maria her sister and Lizzy. It had given her great satisfaction to be able to show them she was happily settled, that her situation was tolerable and that she did not regret a thing.
As she walked along her familiar path in the woods, she reflected that many things had changed since that time. Maria was being courted by the youngest son of an Admiral whose acquaintance they had made at St. James' last winter. Lizzy had married Mr Darcy, and she had married for love. Charlotte knew that her friend had such high standards and that only the deepest love would have induced her into matrimony and she was greatly pleased for her best friend. Could I boast the same level of happiness I had professed when they had visited? she asked herself.
She stopped walking and thought about it, “No, I cannot.” she said aloud.
She continued walking, and thought about what had changed. After deliberating on the subject for some time, she concluded that nothing had changed, but that she had become more acquainted with life and herself. She had felt content about her situation in life because there was nothing wanting and nothing to reproach. However, now she realised sadly that was not true, there was much wanting and many things to reproach. Mr Collins behaviour towards her while cordial, as he rarely raised his voice, was condescending and he was often disrespectful of her even when in company. This grated on her emotions and she turned her thoughts inward towards herself. She discovered that she was not entirely without blame. She had believed herself not to be romantic, that she would be content to live without love and affection. How wrong she knew herself to be now! She had grown up part of a large family, and while they were not the kind of people to express their love in words or with embraces, it was felt by them all. She had also known the affection of good friends and their families, and now she lamented she had little of that. She chided herself for such thoughts. I have great friends here, and their affection is obvious or they would never have braved Lady Catherine's displeasure by standing by me at all! She kicked a stone in frustration. No, she now admitted, what irks me most is the lack of love, affection, and respect at home. Mr Collins may have softened towards me of late, but he does not love me and I most certainly do not love him. I am most unhappy.
She stopped walking and started to cry, “Oh what is wrong with me? Why am I so emotional and unhappy? Why cannot I be contented once more?” She wept.
She sat down on a fallen tree trunk and waited until these sentiments had passed.
Only then did she slowly made her way home, with a new determination and resolve to find the good in her situation, to see that she was fortunate indeed and to hope and pray that one day there might be affection between herself and her husband.
* * *
Once she had returned home she asked for hot water, washed and changed. She was a little mad at herself for feeling so sentimental and for allowing herself to become discontented with her lot. Despite the friction between herself and Lady Catherine, she mused, life was not all bad. She looked around her bedroom, and thought, Indeed things are not all bad in the least. I have a wonderful home, and I must be thankful.
She set about her housekeeping tasks and then her letter writing, and every few minutes she paused to think of a few things for which she was thankful. Her mother had taught them this game. When things were getting them down, or they had been upset, they were to stop every half an hour and think of things they were thankful for. Usually, within an hour or two the upset was lessened, the hurt dulled and the melancholy lifted.
She reminded herself, of a good-tempered husband, the prospect of children. She thought of her house, with its well-appointed rooms. She was thankful for being able to keep servants and their own horse and gig. She was glad for new friendships that were forming and having people to stand by her through thick and thin.
“Yes,” she smiled, “I have much to be thankful for.”
* * *
The sombre atmosphere in the parsonage was contagious and everyone seemed to be in a daze of melancholy that they all hoped would lift once the funeral had taken place. Mr Collins retreated into himself, spending more time in his book room than he had afore. Charlotte took to taking longer walks than she was usually wont to do, but they raised her spirits somewhat and so she deemed them productive, as nothing would be done otherwise under the cloud of melancholy. Even the servants felt it and Charlotte felt stifled indoors.
One of the greatest consolations to Charlotte at present was to see the continuation and progress of Louisa's romance with Mr Simmons. Because she did not wish to stifle them with her continuous presence during such a time, and no lover wants a third person hanging around them; she decided to limit her visits to every three or four days.
However, she did find whenever she was visiting that Mrs Thomas was glad to relinquish the role of chaperone over to her. One such visit coincided with such a beautiful day that all four of them walked the lanes together. Mrs Thomas linked arms with Charlotte and the two of them deftly began to slow their pace to allow the couple in front privacy for conversation. Once they knew that they could not over hear the lovers and that they themselves would not be overheard, Mrs Thomas began to acquaint Charlotte with what had passed since her last visit.
“Mr Simmons is so attentive. He pays his respects to me constantly, as Louisa's sister-in-law, and his affection for Louisa seems to increase daily.”
“You must be very pleased indeed Mrs Thomas.”
“Aye, I am Mrs Collins, indeed I am.” They walked on in silence for a few minutes, both of them smiling at the couple walking before them.
“Mr Simmons formally asked me if he could ask for Louisa's hand last evening.” Mrs Thomas said in an excited whisper. Charlotte gasped and stopped to look at her friend in surprise.
“Truly?”
“Yes truly. Although I do not believe he has had an opportunity yet, therefore Charlotte, I pray you will help me in allowing him as much opportunity as possible today.”
She smiled at Charlotte conspiratorially and they resumed walking again. Charlotte was astounded and overwhelmed with joy. She had intended to throw them into each other's paths once again, but that things had taken such a happy turn and so quickly was both wonderful and exciting.
Finally, she managed to say, “I am so very happy for her.” Mrs Thomas nodded.
Eventually they came to an elevated clearing which over looked the countryside thereabouts and was a popular place to picnic and they stopped and rested. During his lifetime, Sir Lewis de Bourgh had been fond of picnicking there and had trees felled and the logs placed there for sitting. They were still there, although some were rotten through and they sat and enjoyed the view and the warmth of the sun. It had begun to be unseasonably warm and they talked of the likelihood of an early spring and the weather lasting until Easter. The general consensus was that it would not but that it was best to enjoy it while it lasted.
“I believe it might be possible to buy hothouse flowers soon,” remarked Louisa, “although their scent is nothing compared to wild or garden flowers.”
“Absolutely.” agreed Charlotte, “Do you have a nice garden Mr Simmons?”
He was surprised at the question as he had eyes only for Louisa, he blushed, “Yes Mrs Collins, I believe it is nice, but as they say 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' therefore I hope you will form your own opinion of it.”
She smiled at the obvious invitation, “It is then unfortun
ate that your dinner invitation is at night Mr Simmons.”
He laughed with embarrassment and she politely left him to Louisa's company once again.
Charlotte and Mrs Thomas exchanged knowing glances as they endeavoured to look everywhere but at the pair of lovers before them, and tried to no avail not to hear every word that passed between them. The conversation of lovers in general is never very stimulating and soon after Mrs Thomas began to talk to Charlotte of everyday, menial things as little else occurred to them.
It was with reluctance that Mrs Thomas declared it was time for them to begin the walk home.
She made a fuss of straightening and brushing off her skirts to enable Mr Simmons and Louisa to get a head start and then declared with a giggle, “There, that should give them sufficient privacy, do not you think?”
Charlotte smiled and linked arms with Mrs Thomas and they set off back down the lane to Hunsford.
21
The day of old Ted Norris' funeral came and Charlotte walked solemnly and quietly by Mr Collins' side to the church. She greeted Mrs Brown who was busily placing the last of the arrangements around the church.
“I regret I could not get many flowers Mrs Collins. They're mostly greenery but I did the best I could with the money collected by Mr Abbot.”
Charlotte looked around her and saw the flower arrangements. They were simple but she had done extremely well, sourcing flowers from hothouses and surrounding them with greenery.
“I think you have done very well. I particularly like the white Lilly-of-the-valley surrounded by the ivy.”
“I know it is usually used for weddings, but I thought that as this is its season, and it was cheap.”
Mrs Brown looked worried but Charlotte reassured her, “My dear Mrs Brown. Using what is in season is sensible and the little posies are a wonderful tribute to old Ted.” She patted Mrs Brown on the arm and began to place songbooks on the pews as the villagers began to arrive to say their final farewells to the old man.
Charlotte - Pride and Prejudice Continues Page 13