by Liz Mistry
Marcus returned from the kitchen, carrying an opened bottle of white wine and a full glass, which he pushed into Nikki’s trembling hands. With a grim smile, Nikki scrutinised his face before accepting it. As usual, there was no judgement in his eyes – only love and support. His mouth quirked up in a half-smile as he settled himself into the space left by Haqib. ‘You all need to listen to your mum. She’s got to tell you something really important and it requires you all to be really sensible, and do what we tell you, okay?’
All four nodded and Nikki took a gulp of the wine, savouring its coolness on her throat as she swallowed. ‘Okay, I had it all planned how I was going to broach this with you tonight and it was nothing like the way I did. I’m sorry if I frightened you all.’
Four pairs of dark eyes, each a slightly different shade of brown, stared at her, each pair filled with love and compassion. Smiling slightly, Nikki reached out and ruffled Sunni’s hair. ‘What I actually wanted to talk to you all about was Aunty Anika’s and my biological father. He’s called Freddie Downey and he’s a really, really bad man. The things I blurted out earlier are all true. He went to prison for some of the things he did to us and Ajima, but was released after a short time and has been living in Scotland since then.’
She took another swig of wine. ‘Thing is, we’ve discovered he did much worse things too and we now believe he’s made his way back to Bradford.’
She took a photo from her bag and handed it to Charlie. ‘This is the latest image we have of him. I want you all to be really vigilant. If you see anyone suspicious hanging around, you need to let the police and me know immediately. If you see him, you need to report it to me. He’s dangerous and he might see you four as a way to punish Ajima, Anika and me. The cars will remain at the front and back of the street, but until further notice, none of you will go anywhere unless accompanied by me, Marcus, Ali’s men or the police. Don’t trust anybody – promise?’
With serious expressions, they all nodded and then Sunni, face scrunched up in anger spoke. ‘Did he hurt you, Mummy?’
Nikki smiled and hugged him. ‘Yes, a little – but it’s all in the past now, Sunni. We’re all safe now. If you do what I ask, we’ll all remain safe too.’
‘I hate him, I hate him, I hate him.’ Sunni’s small face was scrunched up and red, his hands fisted. His phraseology reminded Nikki of the diary excerpts and she wondered if the person who wrote them was also directing their anger at Freddie Downey.
Marcus threw Sunni a cushion. ‘Punch it out, Sunni. Punch it out.’
It didn’t look like any of them were heading to bed anytime soon and Nikki understood that. She’d given them a lot to think about and she was aware that there would be a lot of questions to answer after they’d processed the information she’d given them. Her head throbbed, so, glass in hand, she stood up. ‘Now, much as the wine hit the spot, I think I really need a cup of coffee.’
She walked through to the kitchen and tried to ignore the excited chatter that had broken out in the living room as soon as she’d left. Marcus would handle it – he always did. Leaning against the sink, she looked out the window as night settled over Bradford. She had never wanted to bring her childhood experiences into this house. Never wanted her children to know the sorts of things she’d experienced and then, when it came down to it, what had she done? Stupid! She’d just blurted it out like lead bullets peppering the living room with her baggage. Baggage she should have kept locked up.
Hearing footsteps entering the kitchen and expecting it to be Marcus, she said, ‘I’m so crap at this mothering business. The more I try to protect them, the more I seem to fuck them up.’
‘You’re not a crap mum and you haven’t fucked us up.’
Nikki’s heart plummeted as she glanced at Charlie. ‘Case in point, Charlie. I’ve yet again not been the perfect mum because my eldest daughter doesn’t think twice about swearing in front of her mum – twice in the one sentence, I might add.’
Charlie laughed. ‘Aw, don’t get all maudlin on me, Mum. Who says what’s perfect? Who makes that decision, eh?’
Nikki grinned, pushed herself away from the sink and hugged her daughter. ‘You know, Charlie, you’re turning into a quite exceptional young woman.’
‘Yeah, I got a kick-ass mum to thank for that.’
Nikki put the kettle on and spooned coffee and instant hot chocolate into various mugs. ‘Hm, I suppose I’m to blame for your sassy backchat too.’
‘Yeah, I reckon so. Ajima say you’ve always been a bit gobby.’
Pouring water into the mugs, Nikki pushed one across the work top to Charlie and picked up the tray with the others on.
‘Mum …’
Nikki hesitated by the door. Charlie was looking out the kitchen window, coffee mug in her hand, and casting surreptitious glances at her mother.
‘Your scar? Did he …?’ Charlie, eyes averted, bit her lip.
If this was some sort of motherhood test, Nikki felt woefully inadequate. Did she spare her 15-year-old daughter from the horror of her own childhood? Should she give her some diluted version of events or perhaps just tell her how it happened in a matter-of-fact, no-nonsense way? Nikki placed the tray on the kitchen table and moved closer to her daughter. ‘Yes, Freddie Downey did this to me. I was 12. He wanted me to do something.’
Nikki swallowed the lump in her throat. ‘Something sexual with one of his friends. And when I refused, he tied a thick hairy rope round my neck and pulled it tight. He kept pulling it tight and then releasing it … again and again. He was an animal. By the time Ajima managed to get Ani and me out of there and into hospital, I was hurt quite badly. They didn’t know if there would be damage to my vocal cords, but I recovered. We went into a refuge after that and he was imprisoned.’
‘Why don’t you have it removed?’
Nikki put her arm round Charlie. ‘It’s a reminder that I’m a survivor. A reminder to make sure that I bring you three up to be strong and not to get into the position Ajima got into.’
‘She should have protected you and Auntie Anika.’
‘She was barely 15 when she had me and 17 when she had Anika. Her parents were new to the country. She was just a kid who made some mistakes and slid through the net. She’s not to blame.’
She picked up the tray and then frowned. ‘Women are never to blame for male violence against them, Charlie. Never.’
With a smile, she used her bum to open the kitchen door and was nearly through when Charlie spoke again. ‘I love you, Mum.’
Nikki hesitated, then nodded, her eyes filling up again. What the hell was happening to her? ‘Love you too, Charlie.’
Then a thought occurred. ‘Charlie, what’s with Haqib’s new girlfriend?’
Charlie tutted. ‘I told him it was risky, Mum, but you know what he’s like. I’ve got his back. I’ll make sure he’s careful.’
Not one hundred per cent reassured, Nikki realised that was probably the best she was going to get.
Wednesday 23rd September
Chapter 57
The house was silent for the first time in a couple of days and Lalita welcomed it. Much as she loved Isaac, it was hard to maintain a laughing demeanour, so she was glad Marcus had dropped him off at work for her. He needed the distraction and she needed the peace. Late the previous evening, Enaya had surprised her by announcing she had not only booked a flight back to Palestine but had also booked a taxi to take her to Manchester airport that evening.
‘I can see you’ve got enough on your plate right now, Lalita, and you need space. I’ll come back before Christmas when this is all over with.’
Despite her relief at having one less person to worry about, Lalita had clung to the woman who had become her friend and cried when she waved her off into the night. Now, in the bright daylight, Lalita had time to reassess her options. Much as Nikita’s decision to have Ali’s men staking out the street came from a good place, Lalita wanted to curse her eldest daughter’s sense of responsibility. Nikita
had scuppered all her carefully laid plans, and now Lalita was going to be forced to work out an alternative. Touching the pepper spray she kept in her pocket at all times now reassured her that she wasn’t only a weak older woman – she had weapons and she would use them.
She’d spent the night pacing the living room, contemplating her options. Once before she’d trusted in the legal system to provide justice for her and her family, only to have her hopes dashed by the measly sentence doled out to Downey. She would not make that mistake again. This time, she would end it, once and for all. This time she would do what she should have done all those years ago.
A photo lay on the kitchen table. She’d looked it out from the albums the previous night when Haqib had appeared holding the Ninja Turtle cake Nikita had bought. Anika had pretended to hate it, pretended it meant nothing to her, that she thought her sister was an idiot. Yet, Lalita knew that deep down Anika was touched by the gesture. The photo was a rare one – two little girls with wonky haircuts, dressed in Ninja costumes, arms round each other. Their huge smiles belied the squalid life they led. Lalita pulled it towards her and with her index finger traced each of her daughter’s faces. Amid all the fear, these two little girls had somehow survived and grown up into beautiful women. All right, they both had issues, but they were still here, still fighting and now at last Lalita Parekh would protect them in the way she should have when they were little.
With care, as if it was a precious and very fragile work of art, Lalita kissed the faces on the photo before placing it on the table. Heart pounding, she picked up her phone and with a single phone call to a number she hadn’t phoned in years, she put in place a plan that would hopefully rid them, for good, of the evil that was Freddie Downey.
Chapter 58
The team Saj had taken to calling the inner sanctum gathered in DCI Hegley’s office. Williams, Anwar, Archie, Springer and Nikki all gathered together to discuss progress on locating Freddie Downey, the diary extracts and the link to the Cambridge murder.
Sajid was concerned about Nikki. She wasn’t as tough as everybody thought and this investigation was very personal for her. He wasn’t sure it was good for her to be here, even if she wasn’t SIO. On the other hand, he knew they’d need a chainsaw to dissect her from the case if she dug her heels in. Marcus had asked him to keep him updated for he too was worried about her. She wasn’t sleeping, was on the go all the time and was anxious about her family.
He studied her as Springer updated them on their enquiries into Freddie Downey’s whereabouts. Her right eye twitched and that, along with the way she kept cricking her shoulder told him she had one of her headaches. She hadn’t noticed, but her T-shirt was on inside out. But what concerned him more was the bandage around her left wrist and the elastic band on her right. Marcus had told him about it, swearing him to keep it to himself. He’d never seen her wrist bandaged like that. Usually the occasional twang of the elastic band was enough to ground her, but last night, Marcus had had to tend to it.
They were still debating whether it was time to confide in the rest of the team about Nikki’s dad, Freddie Downey. Nikki had kept remarkably silent on the matter, whilst Springer was all for sharing it with the team. When Springer finally ground to a halt after outlining a host of very valid reasons for sharing the info, Nikki nodded. ‘She’s right. Transparency will be good for the team. If they don’t have the full picture, they might miss something useful. I’ll forward all my PI’s info to the team.’ She looked directly at Springer. ‘Could you ask them to refer to him only as Freddie Downey?’
Chapter 59
As soon as the private briefing was complete, Williams was by Nikki’s side. His eyes were red-rimmed and he wore the same clothes as the previous day. ‘Got lots of initials of possible victims and abusers from the box files. I’ve made a chart of them all, which I’ve attached to the main file.’
He shuffled a little, his eyes flitting around the room. ‘There were hundreds of victims – but only about fifteen abusers that I could account for, going by distinctive marks – a few tattoos and suchlike. I’ve passed it all on to the Child Safeguarding Unit.’
Only fifteen abusers. Fifteen too fucking many! But that was the tip of the iceberg from what Williams was saying. These were only the ones with some sort of physical identifier that they found. Nikki nodded. ‘Good work – you’ve been here all night. Maybe Springer will let you go home after the main briefing for a couple of hours’ sleep. You’re no good to anyone at half energy.’
‘Yeah, yeah I will. It’s just …’ He shuffled again and still wouldn’t meet Nikki’s eye.
‘Spit it out, Williams.’
Words running together, Nikki had to focus to keep up. ‘I cropped some of the images of the kids and the abusers’ identifying marks – you know so they wouldn’t be distressing and, well’ – he licked his lips, head bowed – ‘DS Springer directed me to head over to your mum’s and Anika’s before I catch some sleep. See if they can identify any of them.’
Nikki exhaled. She saw the logic of Springer’s proposal. It was what she’d expect to happen with any of the Gaynor Street residents from that time. She’d just hoped that she’d be the one to take her mum and Anika through them. Springer was right, though. Nikki had to distance herself from procedure, but that didn’t excuse her not giving Nikki a heads-up. Williams was a pleasant, reassuring presence and he’d be sensitive with them; still a puddle of acid settled in her stomach at the thought of possibly raking up old wounds for her sister and mum.
‘I’ve specifically used images that give no indication of the context. I’ve been really careful, Nikki, honest, I have.’
Nikki nodded. ‘Okay, Williams. I know you will take care to avoid any distress, even if we weren’t talking about my mum and sis. Look, I need to look at them too – see if I can identify any of them.’
Williams’ eyes widened. It was as if he’d forgotten that Nikki, his boss, was the daughter of one of these abusers. He stammered. ‘Yes, of course.’
‘I’ll look at them in Archie’s office.’ She hesitated. ‘Williams?’
Calmer now, Williams risked a smile. ‘Yes, boss?’
Nikki moved closer. ‘I have some mental blocks from my childhood.’ Sweat pooled under her armpits. ‘I don’t remember everything – defence mechanism possibly. Did you …?’
Williams’ face flushed and he lowered his tone. ‘Boss, I didn’t identify any images of you or your sister – none.’ He looked right into her eyes. ‘And I promise you that if I do – I’ll bring them direct to you. I’ve still got a few files to go through – but like I say …’ His words trailed away.
Placing her hand on his arm, Nikki squeezed lightly. ‘Thanks, Williams. It’s appreciated.’
‘Oh, what’s this then, Parekh? You thinking of ditching me and partnering with Williams here?’
Nikki spun round. Sajid stood, hands folded across his chest and Nikki snorted. ‘Soon as Williams gets a Jag you’re toast, Malik.’
Chapter 60
Bradford sucks. What a dump! In broad daylight, it looks even worse than it does at night and that’s saying something. I’ve got bits and pieces to do today. Got to get up to speed on where my next targets are. Before I go for the last two, I need to make sure I’ve got number four sorted – not that I expect any problems with this one, but I do need to start planning for the next. I’m leaving the best till last – my big finale!
It’s funny though, I thought when I started out on all of this, that it was just necessity that drove me. Now, I’m not so sure. The word finale seems so – well – final. Truth is, I’m not sure how I’ll feel when I’m done. When I was forced to take action, I had a clear agenda – a definite reason. Self-preservation is a powerful inciter. Now as I’m past the halfway stage, I realise what I’ve been missing all these years. All the time I directed my energies towards my little hobby, I was missing out on the real prize.
Power. That five-letter word has such meaning, for, without it, you
can have no control. It’s taken a while, but I’ve finally realised that power is what’s been missing from my life. The ultimate control. Okay, my hobby kept me going, gave me some degree of power – but not the surging adrenaline force that pulses through me, at that moment when life becomes death. A definitive, all-encompassing, supreme, almost godlike strength. At that moment, I am undefeatable, immortal, the greatest – or worst, depending on your viewpoint – adversary. The finest superhero villain, the most feared serial killer, the most devious planner. What more control can there be than that? All my life I’ve been striving for it. Trying to work out what sets me apart. Why I am different. I always stand on the edge looking in. Unloved, disrespected – even when I make the ultimate sacrifices, it isn’t enough.
I suppose I have Liam to thank for all of this. If he hadn’t found out “the secret” none of this would have happened. I’d still be cowering in silence, making the best of things. I owe him a debt of gratitude for freeing me. His sacrifice was a worthy one – although I don’t suppose he’d agree.
Which brings me back round to where I am right now. What will I do when the big finale is complete? It’s a conundrum. The only definite is that, now I’ve got a taste for it, there’s no stopping. All I have to do I suppose, is direct my energies to a new project. There will be plenty out there, I’m sure. Maybe I’ll take that break abroad – satiate my needs for a while in an anonymous country and then come back rejuvenated, with a new project to work on. They’ll never suss it out. The break between kills will flummox them. I’ve read all about that – seen it on CSI.
I feel a little more optimistic as I enter City Library. No point in hanging around when I can spend the day researching, before scoping out my target this evening.