Gloria is using both of her hands, patting the air in front of her. “Would you calm down? Everyone is looking.”
“My deepest apologies, Lauren. Forgive me for speaking the truth.”
Lauren’s throat tightens as she looks at Miriam. “It’s okay. I’ve gotten angry lots of times.”
“There are many things that Miriam and I do not agree on, and fortunately, this is not one of them,” Gloria says. “Fathers protect and defend and provide for their children, and without a father’s love and guidance a child will feel lost. I’ve seen it time and again. I’ve seen the struggle that single moms have, and it got to the point where I couldn’t sit by and just keep watching it. I knew that I had to help bear some of their burdens. I knew that I had to pray for them and cry with them. I knew there were times that I had to get involved in their lives and other times that I just had to leave them alone.”
“And that’s huge for Gloria, by the way,” Miriam says. “It’s a struggle for her to leave people alone.”
Lauren laughs but feels a tear making its way from her eye. She grabs her napkin and swipes it across her cheek.
“Basically, we just love on those kids and their moms or their dads or their grandparents or whoever brings them to Glory’s Place,” Gloria says. “We love on them the best we know how because we know that deep down there’s something missing inside so many of their hearts. It could be because their dad walked away like yours or because their mom isn’t there. Whatever it is we just love them and help them in whatever feeble way we can.”
“I wish Glory’s Place had been in Whitall.” Her voice is so low that Gloria and Miriam strain to hear over the noise of the restaurant.
Gloria pats her hand. “Well, you just keep coming any time you want and we’ll love on you the best we can.”
“And we’ll always have pastries,” Miriam says.
Lauren bursts out laughing and presses the napkin to her eyes. Gloria and Miriam smile sad, knowing smiles at each other, having had similar conversations before. If Christmas is a time for peace on earth then why do they encounter so many without it? If Christmas is filled with memories of warm smells, blazing fires, trees with twinkly lights and presents, and laughter so joyful that it reaches the tip of your toes, then why are so many memories as stark and bare as the winter trees? If Christmas is hope and joy and faith unending, then why are so many hopeless, joyless, and without faith?
Gloria squeezes Lauren’s hand. “We know that we are not your family but we are both very grateful for your friendship this Christmas.” Lauren tries to smile and catches more tears with her napkin. Even Miriam, who can always manage to pull her face into a stoic pose, turns away to keep her face together.
If this isn’t a family then Lauren doesn’t know what one is.
FOURTEEN
The next morning before Lauren is awake, her phone rings. She wants to ignore it and go back to sleep but decides it could be someone from Glory’s Place needing her. “Hello,” she says, trying to make her voice sound awake.
“Is this Lauren?”
It’s a man’s voice but Lauren doesn’t recognize it. “Yeah.”
“This is Larry. From yesterday. You dropped off the stuff for Miss Glory.”
She throws an arm over her forehead, wondering what he wants so early in the morning. “Right.”
“Well, I wanted to let you know that I set the box down by the door. Now what I did not know was that my wife had other boxes and bags sitting there at the door that she was taking to the dump.” Lauren sits up on the mattress, anticipating what he is going to say. “I didn’t know about it until this morning when I went to look for the box that you dropped off.”
“So all that stuff is gone?”
“I’m afraid so. But I’m happy to make a box for the fund-raiser. It won’t take much time and since I’m the one who’s in charge of this mess-up, then I’m the one who needs to make it right.”
Lauren swings her legs to the floor, careful not to bang them against the metal frame. She feels like such a vagabond sleeping this way but at least it’s an upgrade from her usual mattress on the floor. “Thanks, Larry! I’ll call Miss Glory and let her know.”
“You tell her I’ve got some real nice curly maple here that can make a beautiful box. I could even make it out of curly maple and do an inlay of cherry or black walnut. Or I could just make the whole box out of black walnut or mahogany or something. You just run it by her and give her my deepest apologies. But like I said, I will make it right!”
Hanging up, Lauren looks at the time on her phone: seven o’clock. Miss Glory would definitely be up by now. As she dials she realizes that Heddy said the box she gave Larry needed a lot of work. Obviously, the one he would make would be new and beautiful and worth more. “Miss Glory! Are you awake? It’s Lauren.”
“Marshall and I are sitting here having breakfast. Is everything okay?”
“I think so. I just wanted to tell you that Larry called me and said that the box of stuff that I dropped off with him was accidentally taken to the dump.” She can hear Gloria gasp on the other end.
“Oh! This is awful!”
“No! Larry said he would make you a brand-new box, more beautiful than the last one. He said he would make it out of any kind of wood that you wanted.”
“She’ll be so devastated.”
Lauren leans on to her knees, looking at her toes. “Who will be devastated, Miss Glory?”
“Cassondra! She gave me that box for the fund-raiser. She said it held dreams. I can’t tell her it’s been thrown away.”
Lauren gets up and paces in her bedroom, thinking. “Can’t Larry make a similar box without her knowing?”
Gloria sighs on the other end. “I’m afraid not. She is way too sharp for that! Plus, the box had a verse written on the top of it and of course I can’t remember what it was!”
“I’m sorry, Miss Glory.”
“Don’t be! It’s not your fault. Well, I’ll just have to put on my big-girl pants and tell Cassondra what happened. In the meantime, if you can call Larry back and ask him to make a box that would be great. I would still like to fill it with beautiful stationery and pens and offer that in the auction.”
Hanging up, Lauren walks into her bathroom and turns on the water. “She loves that box,” she says, realizing she’s praying. “Would you show us where it is?” The moment the words slip past her lips she knows how absurd they are and splashes water over her face. Sometimes things are lost forever and that’s just the way it is.
* * *
Before leaving for work Lauren checks e-mail and sees a few new ones from Craigslist. There are two of the obligatory hate-filled ones, calling her a moron and idiot and she quickly trashes those. The others are from Mary Richards and Laura. She reads the one from Mary first.
Hi, Kelly! Well, I am assuming that I blew it again. I must have gotten our date and time wrong for getting together at Betty’s Bakery. I am so sorry that I missed you and I do hope that you did not wait too long for me on the day that you were there. On the upside, I ended up having a lovely lunch. I hope that you did, too. Could we try this again? Hoping that I have not scared you off. Mary Richards
Lauren feels a wave of relief to know that Mary did not blow her off. She opens the e-mail from Laura and discovers that she, too, had waited at Betty’s.
Dear Kelly, apparently I got the time mixed up for our meeting. I would like to say that this is the first time that something like this has happened, but alas, it has happened before. Perhaps I input the wrong time in my phone. I send you my deepest apologies. Do you think there is another time that would work for us to get together? Things are ramping up here with work and all things Christmas and I imagine that your schedule is getting quite busy as well. Please let me know if there is another opportunity to meet. Yours, Laura
Lauren looks back at the calendar on her phone and wonders if she is the one who input the wrong date or time. She sits on the edge of her mattress studying t
he calendar. She will be back in Grandon in two days, on Monday. Dear Mary, she types. Thanks for letting me know! I thought that maybe you had second thoughts. Maybe I’m the one who got the date wrong. I did have a great lunch that day. What does Monday look like for you? I’m free after six. Working before that. We could try Betty’s again. Kelly
She sends a duplicate letter to Laura and hopes for the best.
* * *
Maria Delgado finishes her grocery shopping before collecting the votes for grand marshal of the Christmas parade from the box on Clauson’s customer service counter. She smiles as she pulls each one from the box, reading them. Whether she is collecting them from Clauson’s, Wilson’s, Betty’s Bakery, Patterson’s, City Auto Service, or other businesses throughout town, the overwhelming majority of votes have been cast for the one particular citizen that the residents of Grandon wish to see riding high on the horse-drawn coach that day. She puts the votes inside a Ziploc bag and then inside her purse before looking for an open cashier. One of the lines stretches longer than the others that are open and she notices Ben hard at work. Even though the line will take longer than the others, she’ll wait. How could she neglect having a message from Ben this close to Christmas? The man in front of her notices that another cashier is open and moves to that line. “You don’t know what you’re missing,” Maria says, under her breath.
“Hi, Ben,” she says, pushing her grocery cart closer when she’s next in line. “Have you found out if you can come to the Christmas parade?”
“We don’t have the schedule yet,” Ben says, careful to put the boxes of cereal in one bag and cans of soup in another.
“Les!” Maria says, noticing the manager walking toward customer service. “I’ve spoken with Ben and Alice at customer service and Jim in meats and none of them know if they can go to the Christmas parade yet.”
Les walks toward them, smiling. “What do you suggest? That I let everyone off to go to the Christmas parade?”
“Of course not!” Maria says. “But since the entire town will be at the parade I think it’s safe to say that the store could operate with just a couple of people here.”
“Well, I’d keep my best employees here but you’re saying you want Ben to go to the parade.”
Ben hurries to bag the last of Maria’s groceries before picking out a message for her. “I’ll stay here if you want me to.”
Les winks at Maria. “That’d be great, Ben. I know the store would be safe in your hands, but maybe Maria’s right. Maybe you should go to the parade that day and I bag the groceries.”
“Are you sure, Mr. Gentry? I can come in after the parade.”
Les walks toward his office, talking over his shoulder. “I might just take you up on that. I’ll schedule you off that day right now before I forget, and hopefully, this means that Maria will get off my back.”
Ben loads Maria’s groceries into her cart and says, “I don’t think he meant that you’re really on his back.”
Maria laughs. “He might have meant that! I’ve been needling him pretty hard about letting you off work that day so you can see the parade.”
He hands her the last bag before turning his attention to the next load of groceries. Outside Maria places the bags in her car trunk and pulls out her note. It’s written on a small red piece of paper with a star at the end of Ben’s name.
Christmas is a great time for celebrating, so dance today! You know you want to inside!
Merry Christmas! Ben
“I just love that kid,” Maria says, closing the trunk.
FIFTEEN
On Thursday, Lauren is early getting into Grandon and decides to make a stop at Betty’s Bakery for a quick cup of coffee before heading to Glory’s Place. The smells of homemade bread and soup and fresh-brewed coffee welcome her as she opens the door. “My section’s over there,” Holly says, pointing.
“I’m only getting coffee,” Lauren says. “I don’t want to take up a whole table.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Holly delivers two meals to a man and woman in front of her as Lauren picks the table closest to the back.
Holly places a cup on the table and fills it with coffee. “I’m sorry I never saw the women you were supposed to meet the other day.”
Lauren reaches for the creamer on the table. “I heard from both of them. We got the date and time all mixed up. We’re going to try again later today.”
Holly turns to look over her shoulder, checking on her tables. “Do you want to go see a movie tonight? Do you have time?”
“Uh, sure! I’m in no hurry to get back to Whitall.”
“I get off at seven-thirty.”
“That’s perfect. I’m supposed to meet Mary here at six-thirty and then Laura at seven-fifteen.
Holly takes a step back, to check on her customers. “Why are you meeting them again?”
Lauren hesitates, wondering if she should tell her about the Craigslist ad but then says, “They’re supposed to help me with some family stuff.”
Although it doesn’t make any sense to her, Holly says okay and returns to work as Lauren rips open a sugar packet and pours it into her coffee.
“Is it okay if I join you for a second?”
She is surprised to look up and see Travis Mabrey from the parks department, but finds herself pleased that he’s here. He has a face that often looks as if it’s about to open a present and she likes that. There’s something sincere about him. “Sure.”
He pulls out the chair opposite her and sits, holding a to-go coffee cup. “Everything pulling together for the fund-raiser?”
She shrugs. “It’s pulling together but little things keep going wrong.”
He nods. “Like the use of the gazebo.”
“And a box that was supposed to be auctioned off ended up going to the dump.” She looks at him over the coffee cup. “Any chance of actually finding that at the dump?”
He laughs, shaking his head. “No.”
“I didn’t think so but it was worth a shot.” He can tell by the way she scrunches the napkin beneath her hand and squirms in her seat that she feels clumsy talking to him and he finds her self-consciousness attractive. She crumples the napkin in her lap and clears her throat, looking into the cup. “When I ran away … you know … the other day…”
“Right! I’m still in counseling.”
Lauren laughs out loud and relaxes her hand, giving the napkin a break. She looks at him and notices that if he didn’t shave for a couple of days, he’d have a full beard and imagines what he’d look like. “Victor Gabriel is my dad. He left when I was four and I had no idea he lived here.”
“So it really wasn’t because of me that you ran away?”
She laughs again and he smiles. “I had no idea that I would react like that.” She’s quiet, drinking from the cup. “I think that deep down I hoped that one day he would show up again, but knowing that he has left again proves that he is probably not the showing-up kind of guy.” She glances at him. “Did you know his wife? Did they have children?”
Travis straightens in the chair, folding his arms on the table. “I met his wife a couple of times. She seemed nice but I don’t really know her. As far as I know they didn’t have children together but she had a couple of children from another marriage.” She nods, listening. “I don’t know where he went when he left here but I could ask around and maybe find something out.”
“No, thanks.” The answer came from a place of strength and it surprises Lauren. “He’s a stranger. If I’m going to meet a stranger I think I’d want to meet his ex-wife. I think we would have a whole lot more in common than I would with him.” She taps the sugar packets on the table. “Where did he live?”
“I can drive you by there if you want. His ex-wife still lives there.”
Although she can’t explain it Lauren wants to see that house more than anything she’s wanted in a long time.
The cab of Travis’s truck is neat with the exception of two empty coffee cups in the cup holders
and a stack of papers on the dash. He throws the empty cups in a nearby garbage can before placing the cup he has been holding in one of the empty holders. “You’re sure you have time for this?” she asks.
He pulls out of the parking space, looking over at her. “I’m sure. My workday is done. All I had on my schedule for tonight was coffee at Betty’s and then a drive over to a former coworker’s house.”
“How long have you been with the parks department?”
“Seven years. Right out of high school.”
“You grew up here?”
He makes a turn onto Poplar Avenue, nodding. “I did.”
She watches the passing scenery: snow wrapped around tree trunks and homes and covering the streets and lawns like a fluffy white carpet, one-foot deep. “You never wanted to leave?”
“Absolutely! When I was in high school I couldn’t wait to leave. I was going to work for a year and then either go to college or find another place to live.”
“And?”
He turns onto Belden Road and grins. “I got an associate’s degree in arboriculture and stayed right here. I like working with trees and grass and ball fields. And I like this town. As far as places to live go—I think it has everything I need.” He slows down and parks the truck in front of a modest, two-story gray home set close to the road. Yew shrubs line the front of the house and three grown trees fill the front yard. “This is it.” Lauren stares at the house and he wonders what she’s looking at or, rather, what she’s looking for.
The gutters are in need of repair and paint hangs loose from the window trim. Hope left the house years ago, making it look defeated and small. Lauren sits in the silence, looking at it. This house, she thinks, is just like her: waiting for attention from someone who is long gone. The voices of her mother and father in their bedroom in the apartment had the popping, murmuring sound of something frying or hissing. She wonders if this home has heard any soft sounds and if this is the place her father came to after he left her and why it wasn’t good enough, either. He doesn’t live anywhere, she thinks. He just exists. Just like her. Some people settle and live and grow while others wander, never really living, just existing here in this space for a while before moving along. The realization chokes her and the sound of the heat blowing inside the cab seems deafening. She realizes Travis has been waiting in the quiet. She looks at him and smiles. “I’m sorry. This is weird.”
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