by Autumn Grey
I always make sure to say that often. Assure her. My sisters hardly ever hear those words from our parents.
Those three little words seem to work the magic. The frown on her face disappears, replaced by a huge smile that seems to light up the entire room. She scrambles from the bed and wraps her little arms around me.
“I love you, Nor.”
She lets go of me, climbs back on the bed and sits cross-legged. She seems so young, yet mature in some ways. I guess she learned to survive, living under the same roof as my father. I’ve tried to protect my sisters as much as I can, but I guess I can only do so much.
I straighten from my crouch and walk toward the door. I glance over my shoulder one more time but my little sister is already absorbed in her book, forgetting the world around her exists. Just her, the book and that song playing from her CD player.
When I enter Mom’s room, the light is dimmed low. Music plays softly on the radio on top of the table next to the window, where she’s sitting in a rocking chair, looking out. The curtains are parted to let in the moonlight, giving glimpses of the stars in the dark sky.
I know when I look at her I’ll be met with eyes lost in their own imagination of whatever goes on inside her head.
I squat in front of her and lay my hand on her cheek. She blinks twice and then turns her head to face me, but her eyes aren’t really focused on me, rather on the space above my shoulder. I know she can hear me though.
“Cole will pick me up any time now,” I say, stroking her cheek with my thumb. She closes her eyes, a faint smile flirting across her lips. “What do you think of this dress?”
Her gaze moves slowly until it locks with mine. Tears fill her eyes. “You look so beautiful, honey.”
“I know, right?” Remember when we used to talk about wedding gowns and prom dresses? Well, it’s Winter Formal today. Elise says I look just like you. I’m so proud of that, Mom.”
I stand up and twirl and right then I hear a sound, almost like a chuckle, but more pressed inside her throat. I halt, and the gown follows my movement.
“You like it? I knew you would.”
The doorbell rings downstairs and her fingers twitch in her lap.
“That’s Cole. I think I should go.” My chest twists in pain. She is missing all this, moments a mom and her daughter should be sharing. I wish she was the one standing in the foyer, taking pictures instead of Elise.
I squat again, pressing my forehead against her hand. She turns it around to frame my cheek. I look up to see her eyes fully focused on me, tears falling down her cheeks. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, Eleanor,” her voice wobbles a bit.
The sound of feet shuffling in the hallway pulls me out of this rare moment. I quickly wipe my face and paste a smile on before turning around to face the door.
“Look who’s here,” Elise says in a sing song voice. “Cole fucking Holloway.”
“Watch your language, Elise,” Mom snaps, and my gaze momentarily moves from Cole to her, surprised by her outburst.
Elise laughs, and I turn back to face her, just in time to see her punch the air with a fist, and yell, “Success!” She shrugs and says, “I made her talk, didn’t I? It’s so good to hear your voice, Mom.”
I shake my head, fighting a smile, grateful for her free spirit and energy because today, I need it badly.
Elise steps aside to let Cole through, and my world comes to an abrupt stop. Every snippet of air stolen from my chest at the sight of him.
God.
Cole.
His usually tousled hair is brushed back from his face but a few curls escape the perfection I’m sure he spent hours taming. He looks taller, his shoulders broader in his black tux, with a black bowtie. Seriously, I’m one lucky girl to be loved by this special guy. The enormity of it all sends my heart racing.
I clear my throat and face my mom again. “Mom. . .” I trail off, when I see her eyes have that blank look again, which tells me she’s locked in her own world once more.
My body jerks with awareness as a large warm hand frames my lower back. That touch is tattooed in every cell of my body. Every part of me, even the dormant parts, wake up to that potent touch like they always do whenever Cole’s skin is on mine.
I turn around and I’m automatically in his arms, my head hitting his chest. He bends and kisses my hair, his arms holding me, comforting me.
He pulls back and eyes me up and down in slow, deliberate caresses. I’m happy that he doesn’t hide his appreciation and desire for me. When he meets my gaze again, his eyes say it all.
“You look gorgeous.” He swallows, tares his gaze from mine and faces my mother. He moves around me and drops on his knees at my mom’s feet. “Mrs. Blake. Thank you for trusting me with your daughter. I’ll make sure Nor is home by eleven.”
Mom’s lips quirk in a faint smile, but she doesn’t meet his gaze.
We say goodbye to her and leave the room. After collecting my clutch—which I tuck in tighter under my arm—and mask we head downstairs, with Cole’s palm on the small of my back. I slip on the silver heels at the door then pose as Elise takes pictures to her satisfaction. Ten minutes later, my sister seems content and we finally leave. Cole leads me to his car and after making sure I’m seated in the passenger seat, he rounds the car and slides onto his. Seconds later, we are driving out of his usual parking spot, Cole’s fingers already linked with mine, and toward Fair Tree Hotel’s ballroom with where the Winter Formal is being held.
Crap. My breathing is coming too fast. Heat pools between my legs and I have to press them tightly to squelch the craving there. We stop at a traffic light and Cole turns to look at me, frowning.
“Is everything okay?” he asks.
I nod too quickly and my head spins.
His eyes drop to my chest and he swallows hard before lifting my hand and kissing my wrist. “I love you.” He murmurs on my skin and I’m a bird flying, soaring through the night sky.
“I love you too. And you look obscenely hot,” I tell him when he lifts his head and stares at me with dark eyes, full of desire. Can he read my mind? Know what I’m planning for tonight? Oh God, I hope Megs didn’t tell Simon and ruin my surprise.
The lights change to green, he doesn’t say anything. Just focuses his gaze on the road. I exhale, relieved.
When we arrive ten minutes later, Megs and Simon are already there waiting in the hotel’s parking lot. Simon looks handsome in his tux, his hair slicked back and a cocky grin on his face.
“You look great in Keds. But in these,” Simon says the second his eyes drop to my feet, “You look phenomenal.”
I grin up at him. “Thank you. You clean up well, Simon.”
“Better than your boyfriend?” he points to Cole with his chin, who’s darting looks around us, taking in the crowd of students and loosening his collar a bit.
“Nope. He looks spectacular,” I say, wrapping my arm around Cole’s waist and tugging him to my side. The look of uncertainty on his face fades. Warmth blooms inside my chest and my heart skips a thousand beats when he pulls me to him and holds me so tightly I can hardly breathe.
God, I love him.
After a round of hugs and kisses on the cheek, we put on our masks. Cole’s is a black Phantom of the Opera, with gold gilding around one eye, and Megs’ a cute red and gold butterfly mask, the colors resembling her gown, and Simon a black and white mask that covers his eyes only. Cole glances at the hotel entrance and bites his lip, taking a deep breath as if to prepare himself for something.
I touch my hand on his arm. He looks at me, and I ask, “Let me know if it’s too much, all right?”
He nods and shakes his arms as though he is preparing for a fight before offering me one. I stare at him, worriedly. He straightens his shoulders and nudges me with his elbow. I hook mine around the crook of his elbow and we walk toward the hotel entrance, which is decorated with blue and white balloons.
The moment we step inside the ball room, I hol
d my breath, looking around. I feel like I’m in a dream. A band is playing a rock song on stage. Strobe lights blink on and off, illuminating the elegant, colorful gowns with equally colorful masks filling my vision. I tighten my hand around Cole’s arm. A few people wave in our direction and I wave back. We stop on the edge of the dance floor. Simon and Megs excuse themselves and wander off. Cole and I stand awkwardly, watching the crowd in front of us gyrating to the song blaring from the speakers.
Cole drops his arm and shoves his hands in his pockets. His gaze darts around us, before looking down at me slightly uncomfortable. Or panicked.
“Are you okay?” I sign, turning my body to face him.
He scratches his head and then takes a deep breath before signing, “Do you want to dance?”
I giggle at the look on his face. He looks like he’s ready to flee from this scene. “Yes.” I hold my hand out to him and he takes it.
Most of the students are dancing close to the stage, so we walk to a spot that’s less populated with swaying bodies. We stop and turn to face each other. I slide my hands up his chest and link them around his neck, making sure my tiny clutch doesn’t press into his skin and then push my body into his. Cole’s arms settle on my waist, his hands pulling me to him, holding me tight.
Crap. He is really tense.
He leans down, aligning his lips to my ear and says, “I can feel the music vibrate beneath my feet. Are you ready to dance?” He lifts his head and beams down at me. I nod.
Cole’s eyes never leave mine as the song ends and the band begins to play the next one. Our movements are not coordinated, but I don’t care. He is here with me. He stepped out of his comfort zone for me.
Being in Cole’s arms, swaying from side to side to the throbbing sounds of the fast song, is everything. I feel safe, cherished.
“Let’s go get a drink,” I tell him as soon as the song ends. I’m not used to wearing heels. My feet are killing me. The tension coiled around his body melts the further we move away from the dance floor and walk toward the bar. Simon is sitting on one of the stools at the corner and Megs is on his lap, laughing at something he tells her.
After grabbing a Coke in a glass for myself and Cole, we head to a deserted spot on the other side of the bar. Cole takes a swig from his glass and then starts to walk me backward without warning, his eyes blazing wickedly. I stumble back until I feel my back hit a stone column behind me. He undoes our masks, grabs the clutch and glass of Coke from my hands and sets them somewhere—I can’t see anything beyond his broad shoulders. He curls his fingers around the nape of my neck, leans down and crashes his mouth on mine. My lips part automatically, welcoming him to claim my mouth like he always does. He doesn’t disappoint. Pushing up on my tiptoes, I dig my fingers into his hair and tug gently, kissing him fiercely and savoring the sweet taste of Coke on his tongue. God, I love his mouth.
We pull back, panting, foreheads pressed to each other’s, our eyes closed.
“Do you want to get out of here?” He asks and my eyes flip open.
Yes, I want to shout, but I end up nodding instead.
He reaches behind his back with his hand, retrieves my clutch and mask and hands them to me. And then lifts a thumb and presses it to my bottom lip. “I love your mouth.”
There goes that tingly feeling in my tummy, sending heat pooling between my legs. “I want to kiss you everywhere.” I blurt out without stopping to think. God, it feels good to say that.
His eyebrows shoot up and his eyes widen. Triumph soars through me as I watch desire flood his features. Finally, he grabs my hand and drags me toward the crowd but I pull back, causing him to stop.
“We have to let Megs and Simon know we are leaving,” I yell above the music but then feel stupid for shouting because he can read my lips perfectly.
He huffs a breath and runs a hand through his hair, looking impatient to pick up where we left off but nods, and we head to the place we last saw them, the bar. My best friend and her boyfriend are dancing a few feet away, locked in their own little world.
After letting them know that we’re leaving, Megs hugs me, and whispers, “Have fun and text me as soon as you get home.”
“Definitely. Oh God. It’s happening, Megs.”
She grabs my shoulders. “You don’t have to do this if you are not ready.”
I take a deep breath. “I’m so ready. I haven’t thought about anything the past few days, other than this. Honestly, I think I’ll die if we don’t do it tonight.”
Megs belts out a laugh. “Well, then. I think you’re good to go.” She drops her hands just as Simon steps towards us and wraps his arm around her chest, pulling her to him.
After our goodbyes, Cole grabs my elbow and literally dashes out of the ball room. I stop at the hotel entrance, slip the heels off, and sling them around my fingers.
“My feet hurt,” I tell him when he casts a questioning look at my bare feet.
Cole beams at me before leaning down and scooping me up in his arms. He strides toward the spot he parked his car, stops and kisses me before carefully standing me on the cool ground.
He looks at his watch and then back at me. “Do you want to come to my house for a little while? We still have about two hours until eleven.”
I bite my lip and smile coyly at him. At least I hope I’m smiling coyly. “I have a better idea. A special place. Can I drive?”
He takes a step forward, pressing my body into the car, his hands gripping my hips. “As long as it is private. I have plans for this tight little body of yours.”
I push my boobs into his chest, making sure he can read my lips. He sucks a deep breath, moves one hand up and wraps his fingers on the nape of my neck. “Call it a birthday gift, February twenty-eight is still a couple of weeks away, but I wanted to give you this gift in advance. So, can I drive?”
He nods quickly, his breath ragged and the bulge in his pants pressing into my stomach.
He wants me. I want him.
“Keys,” I say, eyebrows raised. He puts them in my palm. I push his chest with my hand, causing him to take a step back. I turn around and open the car door, toss my shoes and clutch on the backseat, and then climb on the passenger seat and crawl across to the driver’s seat. A pair of big strong hands grab my backside and knead with deliberate strokes. I glance over my shoulder to see Cole leaning inside the car, his eyes focused on me.
He bends down and nips my skin through the dress and I shiver. “I love your ass. Come on, hurry up.”
God.
I hope we arrive at Chester’s Hotel without causing an accident. My entire body is humming with the need to feel his hands on my skin. His face between my breasts, his warm breath feathering my skin there. I’m addicted to Cole, his effect on me is more than just a rush.
We arrive at Chester’s, a private little comfy hotel ten minutes away from the Fair Tree. I booked it a week ago and paid the deposit by cash. I dart a glance at Cole and I swear his eyes almost pop out of his head they are so wide. I giggle and kiss his parted lips before grabbing my shoes and clutch and exiting the car. After handing the keys over to the valet, I slip on the heels and grab Cole’s hand and walk toward the hotel entrance. He tightens his fingers around mine as he finally gets the gist of what’s about to happen. Once we reach the reception, a young man hands me a key after confirming my details. I smile at Cole and tug him toward the elevators.
“ARE YOU GOING TO STAND there the whole night?” I ask, smirking at Cole. He’s standing a few feet away from the bed, his hands balled into fists in his pockets. I hope he can’t see how nervous I am.
Doesn’t he want this? Did I read his signals wrong? I felt his need for me when he pressed his pelvis to mine.
He stares at me for several seconds. The longer his eyes are on me, the more the hunger in his eyes deepens. I take a deep breath to ease the butterflies in my stomach. My skin is tight and too hot and tingling, desperate for Cole’s touch. He nods, and licks his lips. He pulls his hands from his
pockets and drags his fingers through his hair.
“God. Nor. I love you so much. Sometimes I don’t know where I end and you begin. If we have sex, there is no going back. I’m never letting you go. I’ve wanted this so bad and I thought I’d wait until you were ready. I’m not sure I’ll be able to control myself. I want this to be special for you. For me.”
“I’m not planning on going back. I don’t want you to ever let go. I love you, Cole. I want this with you. No one else, but you.”
He starts to pace again, his eyes roaming everywhere as though he’s searching for something. When he doesn’t find what he is looking for, his fingers go around his bowtie and attempt to loosen it. His hands are trembling badly. So, I walk toward him and stop. I cover his hand with mine and look into his eyes. His love and desire for me shines so hot and bright I’m still wondering why I’m standing upright when I should be ashes at his feet.
“I’ve wanted this for a long time, Cole. I’ve wanted this with no one else, but you. It has always been you. Always you.”
His lips part and his breath comes out faster. Cole cups my cheek with one hand and wraps the fingers of his other hand around the nape of my neck, brushing a thumb against the skin there. I moan softly, breathe faster, and I’m five seconds from shattering. He groans, his eyes bright with excitement. “We need condoms.”
“In my bag.” Megs and I went shopping a week ago and grabbed different sizes. I ended up taking two from each pack and tucking them inside my tiny clutch.
As soon as those words leave my mouth, his lips are on mine, parting them wider as he plunges his tongue inside my mouth, claiming me in desperate passionate strokes. His hand leaves my cheek and moves down to grab my hip, bunching my dress in his fist.
Suddenly he grins and I have to grab his forearms to stop myself from toppling over.
“I’m going to show you more, Nor. I’m going to make you mine. Just mine. Always and forever.”
“Always and forever,” I repeat the promise. I know we are young right now, but with Cole, I feel everything. It can only get better from here.