by Autumn Grey
I shake my head, my throat burning. I raise my hands and sign, “Nor told me what happened.”
The worried look on her face disappears and she wraps me in her arms, hugging me tightly.
She pulls back and pushes the hair off my forehead. “I’m so sorry.”
I tuck my hands in the pockets of my pants. “Jesus. He was a fucking psycho. How can someone do that to his own daughter?”
She scowls at me. “First of all, stop cursing. Jesus and fucking don’t belong in the same sentence. Ever.”
My ears are burning, hearing that word, ‘fucking’ leaving my mom’s mouth. Mothers shouldn’t be allowed to utter things like that.
I pull my hands out of my pockets. “Sorry.”
She cups my cheek, her eyes softening. “Let me put the cake in to bake and then we can talk. It’s for tomorrow’s knitting club.”
I nod and head to the living room. I start to pace, unable to stand still. I feel the hate for Stephen rise inside me, potent and overpowering. He literally tore my life apart with no regard for collateral damage. He punished his own daughter for loving me. Was I that appalling in his eyes? Jesus. I couldn’t even protect Nor from him like I’d promised her. I’ve lived with people’s prejudices all my life, but Stephen’s was the worst kind of narrow-mindedness ever.
I fist my hands and swipe at my cheeks. Bitterness rises in me. Fury blinds my sight. I sit on the couch next to me and drop my face in my hands as the past twelve years come bearing down on me.
A touch on my arm stops the flood of memories. I wipe my face and look up to find Dad standing in front of me.
“It’s over,” he signs. “I’m so proud of you, Son.”
Those words touch me deeply. I stand up and grab him in a hug. He pats my back and just holds me. I don’t feel strong right now. I’m exhausted, feeling empty. I want everything to be fucking okay.
He pulls back, holding me at arm’s length. “Do you remember when you were arrested? I was so angry with your mother and I blamed her for everything. I left her after you were sent to prison. Leaving her for the second time in my life was a very difficult decision for me. One evening, I was sitting in my hotel room, thinking about her. I loved, and still love, her with everything that I am. I came back home and we talked. We fought, and at the end we made up.”
His gaze wanders over my shoulder and he smiles as Mom joins us from the kitchen. “In your case, things got really messed up. But you cannot let Stephen win. If you love that girl as much as you say you do, nothing will stand in your way. Nothing should stand in the way of true love.”
My mom pulls me down to sit on the couch. “Do you know what Josh told me a few years ago after he was diagnosed with cancer? His mission in life was to keep you safe. Sometimes things happen in life for different reasons. For him, it was life’s way of giving him a family he knew he’d never have. And for you and Nor, it was a test of time. A test of love. Please don’t let his sacrifice go to waste.”
I drop my head and finally let the grief I’ve been holding back sweep through me. My parents’ arms around me offering me comfort I desperately need.
Fuck, Josh. You wise-ass. I could never repay you for everything you have done for me.
Eventually, after a long talk with my parents, we settle down and Mom puts together a chicken sandwich for me.
Later, I lie in bed and try to sort out my thoughts. I have no fucking clue where to begin, but one thing is for certain. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure Nor and the girls have the kind of life they deserve.
A WEEK HAS PASSED SINCE I told Cole what happened. He has been coming to the house ever since and spending time with our daughters. It’s been awkward as we tiptoed around each other, trying to find a middle ground. A sense of balance where the past nine years didn’t loom above us like a nightmare. I’m grateful for his strength, for being there for our girls.
A book slams on a wood surface, jolting me out of my thoughts. I look over my shoulder to Elon. She frowns and huffs, her movements jerky around her knitting needles.
Sighing, she picks up the book from the floor and shoves it inside the basket at her feet with more force than necessary.
“Hey Elon, is everything okay with you?”
Her hands freeze. She jerks her head up from the red and white sweater she’s knitting and looks at me.
“Yes. Everything is just perfect,” she replies, prolonging the ‘r’ in perfect. She clears her throat. “Do you need me to deliver those to Mrs. Fredericks?” She’s pointing at the bouquet of flowers in my hands while folding the sweater and arranging it inside the basket beside the book.
“Holy crap. Your pants are on fire, Pinocchio.” I narrow my eyes at her. “Stop changing the subject. Mrs. Fredericks doesn’t need them delivered until later on tonight. Everything going well in school?” She nods, climbing to her feet and stretching her arms above her head. “Nothing exciting? Like maybe a hot guy?”
She bites her cheek and bends down at the waist to pick up her basket. She’s been spending more time at home the past three weeks, which is something she hasn’t done since she started school two years ago.
“Nope. Nothing that exciting,” she mutters, marching toward the counter and tossing her bag under it. “I should be asking you that. We haven’t had time to talk since Cole came back.”
The tiny bell on the door dings, announcing a customer’s arrival.
“Be there in a minute!” I yell, heading to the other side of the room where five bouquets of pink carnations lay and add the one I’ve been working on to the bunch.
“Cole!” Elon says, sounding almost relieved. “It’s so great to see you again.”
Shit.
I can’t breathe. I press my shaking hand on my chest and take deep breaths to bring my breathing under control.
“Alright, Nor. Call me if you need me,” Elon yells, sounding all too happy. Her footsteps echoing around the shop as she walks toward the door. The bell dings, announcing her exit and leaving Cole and me in silence. A silence that’s very quickly filling with heavy tension and the sound of my thudding pulse in my ears.
AS SOON AS I STEP inside Phoebe’s, I spot her, surrounded by pink carnations. Her red hair is tied up in a loose braid, and my fingers itch to undo that knot. Set that braid free. I know the moment she senses me because her body stiffens and she clutches her chest as it rises up and down quickly. She doesn’t look at me, though, which is fine with me. I need a few seconds to take her in, strategize the ways to add weight on her bones and her cute little ass.
As soon as Elon leaves, I walk back to the door, flip the sign from OPEN to CLOSED, and then turn and walk toward Nor. Immediately, she drops her eyes, a red flush filling her cheeks.
I tip her chin up and then drop my hand and sign, “Keep your eyes on me because you and I have a lot to talk about and I need those pretties focused on me. Starting today you and I will work on that. I will cook for you and my daughters. You will eat. I will take care of you, all right?”
Her eyes narrow at my words and she takes a step back. I follow her, invading her personal space, letting her know without words that I’m not leaving. If she wants to be stubborn, I’m all for it. Hell, every part of me is made of stubborn.
“All right?” I ask again.
Her eyebrows shoot up and she crosses her arms on her chest. “So, your word is law now. Aren’t we going to talk about this?”
“Yes, we will. I want to make sure we are on the same page first.”
She purses her lips, a little frown on her face. I duck my head to be eye level with her.
“One more thing, Nor. I’m not leaving. I don’t care how long it takes for us to work on this. I’m not leaving.”
She bites her lip. She’s worried about something and I need to find out what it is.
“Talk to me,” I say.
“Do you think this—” she points between us, “—is too soon?”
My determination falters at the worried look
on her face. “Snowflake. The only people that matter to me right now are you, Cora and Joce. If you feel that you are not ready, I will respect that. But I won’t keep my distance. I need you to understand that.”
She rubs her forehead and nods. “Can we continue this conversation later at home?”
“Sure.” I stare down at her mouth. Restraint is such an alien feeling when it comes to this woman. Glancing at the door to make sure there are no customers waiting outside, I turn and stalk forward. Her eyes widen.
“Cole?”
I reach for her hips and walk her backwards until we make it to the small hallway that leads to the storeroom, hidden from the public eye. I wrap my fingers loosely around her neck, running my thumb on the vein pumping furiously beneath her skin, I feel vibrations from her soak into my palm and I know she moaned or groaned. Angling her face up, I crash my mouth on hers and she doesn’t resist. Her breath fans my face as she tries to catch her breath, her arms going around my neck. I drop my hand and tug her wrists, shackle them in one hand and pin them on the wall above her head. Her chest pushes forward, her lips parting and she peeks at me through her lashes.
“You look incredibly sexy like this. So inviting. . .” I take her mouth with mine, slipping my tongue inside hers and exploring her sweetness and warmth. I finish the kiss with a slight tug on her bottom lip and then raise my head, watching her as her eyes slowly open. Her cheeks pink, her chest rising and falling quickly.
Fucking perfect. I unshackle her wrists and run the pad of my thumb along the soft skin on her jaw.
“That is my apology for being a jerk before I left for Boston,” I tell her.
She rubs a finger on her lips, looking dazed, then smooths her hair back “You already apologized.”
“It wasn’t enough. I wanted to show you how sorry I am.”
She rolls her eyes, her lips twitching and drops her head back on the wall before shutting her eyes.
“Will you be all right?” I ask her, feeling way too cocky about that kiss.
She nods, her eyes closed. I turn to leave the shop, but pause mid-step and turn around to face her again.
“What time do you close?” I ask.
Her eyes slowly open and she signs, “Six.”
“I’ll pick you up at six. Be ready.”
She straightens, pushes away from the wall, and walks toward me. “I can’t Cole. I need to go home—”
“Nor? Mom is babysitting the girls.” She snaps her mouth shut and scowls up at me. “Be ready at six.”
I came to a decision last night, and I’m not going back. I’m on a mission. Feed her, make her angry more often, and make her smile more often. Give her time, I have all the time in the world. Claim her as mine once again. I’m a stubborn son of a bitch and if I set my mind on something, I go for it with everything I have. Right now, I want Nor and the girls. I’ve spent my entire life wanting more, but returning home made me realize all I needed was her. She is my more.
I tuck my thumb under her chin and tip her face up. “Chin up, Beautiful.” I kiss her forehead, and head for the door, flipping the sign from CLOSED to OPEN on my way through.
AFTER LEAVING PHOEBE’S, I FIND myself driving toward the cemetery. I park the car a few feet away from Josh’s grave and glance out the window to the rows of tombstones until I find his. My hands tighten around the wheel, allowing his loss to sweep through me until it settles snugly in my veins. Pulling the keys from the ignition, I step out of the truck and weave my way to the spot covered with roses in different colors and sunflowers. I brought the later the last time I was here three days ago. I have no idea the kind of flowers he liked, but I remember he once said Nor was like the sun. Sunflowers had seemed like a good choice.
I spend the next five minutes sitting across from Josh’s grave, trying to look for the words I need to tell him how grateful I am. How much I miss him. And just like the previous times, I fail miserably. Some sacrifices are too big for words. So, I go ahead and toss in a joke.
“I forgot to bring fresh flowers. Please don’t smite me with lightning or some shit like that. I don’t know what kind of super powers people get up there.” I smile. “So, what do you guys do up there? I bet dudes have to work hard to get their wings, huh? Wait, is that shit for real? If it is, then there is no one who deserves it more than you do. That and a halo.”
“Yeah, I do bro,” the voice in my head says--Josh’s voice when he was seven and I was five before I lost my hearing.
I close my eyes and lift my face to the sun filtering through the trees. “Cora and Joce miss you so much. Our little Joce punched a girl in the face.”
I imagine him saying that my little girl got that trait from me, and I laugh.
“I know I’ve thanked you before for taking care of Nor and the girls. For being there for them. I know I’m stubborn, but your words finally sunk into this hard skull of mine. I’m going to try to mend things with Nor. Dad and I have been talking. I’ll finish my internship at his firm and then see how things go from there.”
I close my eyes and just enjoy the feel of being at such a peaceful place. It’s weird because it’s a place of the dead. But it calms me.
Half an hour later, I leave Josh, get into my car and drive away, feeling more at peace than when I came here.
I pick Nor up as promised. She doesn’t fight me. In fact she looks as if she’s been looking forward to six o’clock. She’s even wearing makeup, something I haven’t seen since I returned home. It’s minimal, but it’s there which makes me think she made an effort. Her eyes light up when I step into the shop. Then she tries to cover that look by quickly busying herself with shutting down the computer. What she doesn’t know is I’d give anything to see that look again. She steps around the counter and I suck a breath.
Fuck.
My gaze moves down her body, taking in the little black dress that hits slightly above her knees and hugs her ass and tits perfectly. The braid is undone and her hair falls in waves to her lower back. A pair of red heels, the straps tied around her shins, completes the little sexy package.
She wobbles a little before righting herself, then looks up at me, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth.
“Elon made me wear them,” she smiles nervously, walking toward me as if she’s treading on a tight rope.
Elon, thank you for this wonderful vision. As much as I love Nor in Keds, seeing her in red heels has my blood roaring in my veins. When she reaches for her purse, I quickly readjust my erection in my pants. This night is going to be torture.
“Elon is home a lot lately. Isn’t she supposed to be sleeping in the dorms? Is everything going ok in school?” I ask her when she turns around to face me.
“She shares an apartment with her friend.” Nor shrugs. “Elon doesn’t say much. She started coming home a lot after she told me they got a replacement professor. She doesn’t seem to like him a lot.”
I frown. “Do I need to go knock around this guy?”
She laughs. “You know Elon. She will talk only when she wants to.”
After closing up the shop, we head to the spot I parked his car.
We’ve been driving for a while now. I glance at Nor from the corner of my eye. Nor has been quiet since we left. Her gaze is focused on the passing scenery outside of the car window. It’s not very impressive so I know her thoughts are a million miles away, lost in her own head. I glance at the bones sticking out around her collar and I feel a scowl forming on my face. I quickly tamp it down.
The only things she is surviving on are guilt, stubbornness and air. Even after telling me what happened, I still see guilt in her eyes whenever she looks at me. I have to look for a way to show her we were both at fault. If anything, I am to blame. I should have avoided crossing her father. I should have kept my dick in my pants until my time in prison was up. I never should have fucked her without protection. But, I won’t regret Cora and Joce. Just like I won’t regret beating the crap out of Stephen. The thought of that worthless piece
of shit harming Nor, any of her sisters, or her mom, makes me want to track him down and finish him off.
I park the truck in a spot outside the cafe and watch her side profile. I reach over the console and cover her hand with mine, squeezing it gently. Her head snaps up to face me, searching my face.
I pull my hand back and sign, “Are you okay?”
She blinks, the emptiness in her gaze fading. She nods, her lips stretching into a quivering smile. “I’m getting there,” she signs back. “Are we going in or are we spending the rest of the night out here, chatting?”
Ah, there she is. The girl I remember before shit went to hell.
I laugh and it feels damn good. This time when she smiles, it’s genuine and her eyes light up.
I open the door on my side, round the car and open hers, then guide her toward the entrance of Spinners Cafe with my hand pressed on her lower back. We step inside the softly lit interior and I look around. The wooden floor beneath my feet vibrates to the sound of the music coming from the jukebox at the far end of the room. One couple seated in a booth facing the door are heavily making out. The man dips his head and says something to his partner. She throws her head back and laughs.
Shit. That was us when we were teens.
Nor and Cole. Once named the couple that would go down in history as unbreakable.
But we broke up.
Memories of my time spent in here with Nor bombard my head. Nor touches my arm and looks at me curiously. I jerk my chin toward an empty both. Two steps into our destination, I feel her stiffen against my palm. She spins around to look at me, her eyes too big for her beautiful face, which seems to have paled within the last few seconds.
I can’t tell what caused this sudden change in her. I glance around at the same time I feel the beats of a song vibrate through the floor and seep into my body.
“Which song?” I ask.
She smiles shyly, her cheeks turning pink. “This girl’s in love with you.”
“Our song.” I smirk, remembering it from the first time I saw her play it on the piano in her living room.