by Autumn Grey
She slips her hand in Pete’s and smiles at him, and then stands up and kisses him on the lips.
She turns to face me. “Need help clearing the table, baby?”
I startle on my chair, slap Cole’s hand away from my thigh and shoot up, my cheeks on fire. “Sure.”
I glare at the father of my children, then proceed to clear the table. Cole’s fingers have been lingering on my body the entire evening. Caressing the back of my knee, gripping my thigh, brushing a finger up my inner thigh. . .It’s like he can’t help himself.
“So. Cole, huh? I assume things worked out?”
“Yes, we did.” I smile
“Good, because you two were meant to be.”
I bite the inside of my cheek, fiddling with the dish cloth in my hands. I feel resentment burning a hole in my chest.
“Mom, why did you stay? Dad was so bad to you. To us. It was unhealthy, actually. Why did you stay?” I finally ask the question I’d asked her years ago.
She stares at the counter for a long time before raising those radiant green eyes to meet mine. “Remember when you asked me the same question and I told you that it was complicated?”
I nod.
“My parents thought that your father was only interested in marrying me for the money. They suggested he sign a prenup, which could only be nullified in case one of us died or if I filed for a divorce. If I did the latter, your father would end up getting half of my worth. Things got interesting when my parents died and I inherited everything. He became more desperate. He did everything he could to force me to file for divorce. I’m not even sure why I held onto the stupid notion that he’d change in time. He never loved me. It took me a couple of sessions before I finally saw the truth.
“I loved Stephen at first when we met. After meeting Pete, I realized my parents were right about him. I hadn’t really loved your father. I had been lying to myself. Waiting for him to change. He’d shown me a smidge of attention and my world imploded. We met at a time when I wanted someone who’d love me for me. Not because they were impressed with my dancing skills, or my money. Or worse, because they only wanted a rebound.
“Before I met him, my life was all about pleasing my parents and dancing. Success was the only way to win my parents affection. My twin sister, Sabine, who was also my best friend, was a grade A student. My parents were proud of her so I had to fight to achieve that kind of love. Your father and I went to different schools. We met at a football game held at our school. It was love at first sight for both of us. Or so I thought, until I found out about Cole’s mother.”
I’m shocked by this entire revelation. Mom hardly ever spoke about her family, her past. The first time I asked her about her sister and her family, Mom broke down and cried. It took her weeks to get over that low. I learned my lesson and I never made that mistake again.
I take in a deep breath and then exhale, letting go of the past, the negative emotions and quickly send a prayer up above. Count my blessings instead of ticking off a list of everything bad that has happened.
I wrap my arms around her in a hug. “I’m very glad you are okay, Mom.”
She returns my embrace and then pulls back to study me with eyes full of tears. “Do you know what I learned in all those years? Life breaks you, dismantling every part of us into pieces. It’s just a way to prepare us for what we are meant to be. Who we are meant to be. Survivors.”
Tears run down my face. “That is so beautiful. And I completely agree. We are survivors.”
Pete walks in, carrying the girls in each of his arms. He is a big guy, about two hundred and thirty pounds, with white hair and sky blue eyes. Lines curve the corner of his mouth, a sure sign that he laughs a lot.
“How about we take the girls for ice cream, Carol?” he smiles wide.
We step apart and Mom walks toward her boyfriend.
“Sure. I haven’t spent time with my little angels in a long time. Let’s go have fun.” She turns and winks at me, before turning and leading the way out of the kitchen.
I smile after them and pull out my phone from my shorts pocket. My sisters have been texting the entire day, checking up on me. After letting them know that we are okay and Mom is in town, they promise to drop by tomorrow and spend the next three days together with Mom.
After the dishes are done, Cole scoops me up in his arms and climbs the stairs to the terrace. He lays me on the love seat and then crawls beside me and takes me into his arms.
I shift a bit to make sure he can see my mouth. “What is the best thing that has ever happened to you?”
Those beautiful gray eyes linger on my lips until I feel my breath leave my lungs. “You. Josh. My parents. Nick. Cora and Joce. You.” He falls quiet for a few moments. “What about you?”
I bite my lip, fighting a smile. “I survived. You. Josh. My sisters and Mom. Cora and Joce. You.”
He brushes his lips on mine but doesn’t kiss me. Instead, he slants his head away from me.
He sighs. “We haven’t had an ordinary life, have we?” He squints his eyes thoughtfully. “What I feel for you isn’t ordinary. What we share was complicated from the start. But, our souls knew long before we met. That this is a once in a lifetime thing. And if it’s up to me, I’m going to make sure I’m in your life until my dying day. You’re not just my ordinary, Eleanor. You’re my extraordinary. My everything.”
Tears gather in my eyes, but I’m not ready to let them fall yet, otherwise I won’t be able to finish what I want to say. “I don’t want ordinary with you. I want extraordinary. I want to drown in your passion and kisses, Cole. I want to be the only thing that lives in your mind long after you leave my side. I want our souls to marry each other and stay in love.
“Before I met you, I’d been running from myself. Running in different directions, without any destination in mind. I couldn’t find my balance in life, my anchor. For nine years, I’ve been drowning and only came up for air for Cora and Joce, but deep down, the part that needed you was being dragged under, day in day out. Then you came back after receiving those letters. That part of me lying dormant stirred to life. You kissed me, setting my body on fire. You pulled me to the surface and made me breathe again. I’ve been waiting nine years to exhale and now that I have, I’m going to make sure I keep breathing.”
I lift my hand and wipe the tears falling down his cheek and smile at him. “I promise you darkness and light. I promise you a love so deep, so profound you will feel it even when we’re apart. You good with that?”
He nods and grins through the tears in his eyes. “You have given me everything. A love that consumes me. Cora and Joce. You. You gave me a reason to fight when I thought I couldn’t. I promise to keep your heart and love safe for always. Are you good with that?”
Instead of answering him, I slide my hand around the nape of his neck and pull him to me, mesh my mouth with his.
When we finally come up for air, I say in a breathless voice, “I’m going to marry you one of these days, Cole Holloway.”
His entire body shakes with laughter as he holds me flush to his body.
Finally, he looks into my eyes with a look that tells me I’m wanted. I’m desired. I’m everything he has ever, and will ever, need. “I will hold you to that.”
Love is when you accept each other’s weirdness and faults and demons, without judging them. Without trying to change them.
It’s unconditional.
It’s fearless.
It’s powerful.
And for me, love is Cole.
He is my once in a lifetime. My happily ever after.
Beneath Your Beautiful - Labrinth
How To Save A Life - The Fray
Little Wonders - Rob Thomas
Mirrors - Justin Timberlake
Where I Stood- Missy Higgins
This girl's in love with you- Steve Tyrell
Make You Feel My Love - Adele
When I Was Your Man - Bruno Mars
Heaven - Bryan Adams
&
nbsp; I Don't Want To Be - Gavin DeGraw
I Will Wait - Mumford & Sons
Bring Me To Life - Evanescence
Cut--Plumb
Broken Vow - Josh Groban
You're Still You -- Josh Groban
I Was Born To Love You -- Queen
Fall Into Me -- Brantley Gilbert
Fearless -- Taylor Swift
Set Me on Fire -- Bella Ferraro
You Are The Best Thing --Ray LaMontagne
Down --Jason Walker
A Drop In The Ocean -- Ron Pope
Dream a Little Dream of Me--Yiruma
River Flows in You -- Yiruma
What Is Love -- Empire Cast (feat. V Bozeman)
Because I Love You --Yiruma
You to Me Are Everything --The Real Thing
Jealous--Labrinth
Ten Feet Tall --Wrabel
Breakeven--MAX
Walking Blind--Aidan Hawken
Never Let Me Go-- Florence + The Machine
Taking Chances--Glee Cast
Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman--Bryan Adams
Running' (Lose it All) featuring Beyonce, Arrow Benjamin - Naughty Boy
Growing up (feat. Ed Sheeran) - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
See You Again (feat. Charlie Puth) -- Wiz Khalifa
Iris -- Goo Goo Dolls
Fall For You--Leela James
Scars -- James Bay
Note to the reader:
There are many resources out there which can help you if you are living with depression or self harming and/or living in an abusive home.
Websites:
Befrienders Worldwide: www.befrienders.org
Together We Are Strong (Worldwide): togetherweare-strong.tumblr.com/helpline
Hotlines:
Self-harm: 1-800-DONT CUT
(1-800-366-8288)
Suicide Help Line: 1-800-SUICIDE
(1-800-784-2433)
I wish I could find the words to thank everyone who has been involved with this book.
My two children. Two of my most favorite people in the world. You're amazing. Your patience and unconditional love floors me. Thank you for the laughs and for believing in me. You are my silver lining.
To the ladies in the Autumn's Minxes Group. I love you! Thank you for being so incredibly wonderful, encouraging and supportive, You're my happy place. I'm honored and feel lucky you're in my corner.
I experienced all kinds of emotions while writing this story. I'm grateful for my wonderful beta readers--Amy Bosica, Ella Stewart, Sejla Ibrahimpasic, Selma Ibrahimpasic, Polly Lynne, Elaina Lucia, Katie Monson, Marian Girling, Emma Louise, Mg Herrera, Vivian Freeman, Maiwenn (I hope I didn'T forget anyone)-- stuck with me from the first draft to the last draft of this story. Thank you for your wonderful feedback and encouragement. Every word, every suggestion, is ALWAYS appreciated. To Cora Brent, Cecilia London and Sidney Halston. I can't thank you enough for your help during my research on prison and laws, for for being there to provide answers to all of my questions. I learned so much from you. I'll forever be grateful for that.
Thank you Elaina, Selma and Sejla for the last minute reread of the final proof and for your notes. I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you did this for me.
I'm so thankful for the C.O.P.A. girls and Indie Chicks. You ladies are amazing! I love how positive and inspiring you are. Thanks for your support and love.
Ella, You're such an inspiration to me. Thank you for always having time for me, for being my sounding board, and for introducing me to mind-melding. ;). Vivian. Our chats are proof that neither time difference nor distance can keep us apart. My favorite twins, Selma and Sejla, I really enjoy our FB & Starbucks chats. It's always great to just kick back and have fun with you. Maiwenn, thank you for your help and suggestions, and encouragement. Don't forget our chats. :) Elaina, you've been amazing and a wonderful friend. We haven't known each other for long, but I feel like I've known you for a long time. Karen Ferry, #GlitterChick I can't wait to be your roomie in Dublin. It's always a pleasure to chat with you. Thanks for being such a wonderful, supportive friend. Amo Thomson, I believe that you and I are meant to be :). Mg Herrera, you have a beautiful soul, my friend, and a fantastic teaser maker. I'm very lucky and honored to such wonderful friends.
To the bloggers who work tirelessly to read and review books, and promote authors without expecting anything in return. There are not enough words to let you know how appreciated you are. Thank you.
To Give Me Books. Thank you for organizing the release blitz.
Vanessa Bridges, thank you for taking my words and making them shine. You're amazing and thorough. Thank you for always being ready to answer my questions. To two amazing proofreaders, Fiona Wilson and Jessica Descent. Thanks for making this story better.
To my cover designer, Sarah Hansen (Okay Creations): You blew my mind. Thank you for this breathtaking cover. I can't wait to work with you on the next one.
Megan Baxter, Marian Girling and Rachelle Marie, thank you for giving Spinners Book Emporium & Cafe (Fall Back Skyward) a name. Aslo thanks Elaina Lucia and Tobi Spalla-Beaty for contributing to the playlist.
Thank you Stacey Blake of Champagne Formatting. You have a great eye for detail and you blow my mind with your beautiful work. It's always a pleasure to work with you.
And to you my amazing reader. . . Thank you for taking a chance of me and my stories. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
xoxo
Autumn
Autumn Grey is the author of Havoc, Obliterate, Mend (Havoc series). And just like her characters, she is quirky, sometimes funny and definitely flawed. She writes sexy contemporary romances full of drama, steamy kisses and happily ever afters.
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The Havoc Series
Havoc
Obliterate
Mend