“Actually,” Bree stopped him, “I won’t be at home tomorrow morning. I’m staying over at The Lodge. But, I do need to speak to you - it’s important.”
“Oh,” Todd looked at her in surprise for the second time that night, “are you and Jack together then?”
Bree shook her head in confusion. “What? You think that…Jack and I?” She shook her head again to indicate no. “I’m not staying over with Jack. Shelly and I are staying there because it’s her birthday today. We’re celebrating. That’s why I'm back there with the girls.”
Todd swung his head around and waved at the table of old high school friends. “I see,” he stated. “I thought that was what you wanted to chat about - that you and Jack are an item. He does have the hots for you - always did.”
“He so does not,” retorted Bree. “And, even if he did, I’m not going down that road, not right now.”
“Ah, yes,” Todd nodded, “I recall having this conversation with you before.” He tipped his head at her. “See you tomorrow then.”
“Wait, Todd,” Bree stopped him with a hand on his arm. “I really do need to speak with you and I’d rather you hear what I’ve got to say from me directly and soon.”
“Is something wrong?” He came closer, looking worried. “Is Amber alright?”
“Amber’s fine,” she confirmed, “And nothing’s wrong now. Something was, but it’s getting sorted out.”
He lifted a brow at the cryptic comment. Bree clarified, “This isn’t the place to talk about it - sorry - that’s why I’m not blurting it out.”
“Okay, but it sounds important,” he acknowledged. “If you and Shelly are staying over at The Lodge then you’ll probably have breakfast there. Why don’t I come around and we could grab a coffee and chat. Will that work?”
“That’ll be fine,” she replied. “Thank you.”
“No problem, Bree. See you tomorrow.”
xxx
“Oh honey,” Shelly said empathically when they got back to the hotel room, “you got it bad?”
“Got what bad?” Bree asked.
Shelly didn’t respond, she just quirked a brow before going into the bathroom to shower and change. Bree waited for Shelly to shower, knowing from their shared childhood that she’d be quick.
Minutes later, Bree was joined by Shelly. Sitting opposite each other, feet curled beneath their legs on the over-sized sofas, ready for a good gossip of the night’s events. Shelly approached the subject again. “How long have you been back in love with Todd?”
Bree knew that she couldn’t fool her best friend and on this new journey of self-improvement, being honest with Shelly but more importantly being honest with herself, had to start happening. “I could say that I fell in love again once we started spending time with each other. Or I could say that it happened when we first kissed again at the New Year’s dance or when we made love again. But, if I had to be truthful, I’d say that I don’t ever think that I’ve not been in love with him. It seems that I may have left Devil’s Peak with a baby growing inside of me, but I left the part of my heart that loved a man behind.”
“Oh, hun,” Shelly reached out and squeezed Bree’s hand. “This calls for more wine. I noticed that you haven’t had any tonight. Coffee?”
“No thanks, I’ll make some tea instead; a good, soothing chamomile,” Bree replied. Beverages in hand, Shelly probed, “So you guys slept together again?”
“Yes,” Bree nodded, “many times and just before the fight that split us apart for good. Since then, we see each other when he comes over to visit Amber, when I drop Amber off at his place or if we pass each other by in town. That’s it. We’re polite and greet each other, but we don’t speak, not really.”
“And I’m guessing that it hurts?” Shelly asked.
“Like hell,” Bree chuckled through her tears. “The thing is that we both stuffed up. That night, after we made love, we had a huge fight. We said things, I think, to deliberately hurt each other. Things about the past, about what we thought our future was going to be like together.”
“Let me guess,” Shelly interjected. “You raked him over the coals for not contacting him while he was gone after his daddy’s death and leaving you alone to face your parents with an unexpected pregnancy. And he blamed you for running away and leaving him.”
“How did you know?” asked Bree, impressed by Shelly’s perceptiveness.
“Oh, I think it’s about time the two of you got into an honest shouting match,” she explained. “What you guys went through wasn’t great. It sucked. But, the way you both handled it sucked even more.”
“I did the best that I could Shelly and so did he,” Bree muttered in defense.
“I don’t doubt that you did, honey,” Shelly said gently. “But, the truth is that there’s no recipe for handling situations such as yours or Todd’s. And, that is what I think the problem is. The two of you have always been so busy being strong - him because of his past with his crappy parents and you because your own crappy parents forced you to be strong - like a robot - so that you never made any mistakes. Then you go and make one of the biggest mistakes of all, according to them, - a teenage pregnancy. It was bound to cause waves. But, instead of crashing against them, you both rode the waves that were sent your way.”
Shelly took a sip of wine, mulled over it while studying her friend. Bree was listening, as evident by her chewing her bottom lip - that was good. Shelly needed her to listen. “I’m saying that you’re not robots but you acted like one. Now, I’m no Doctor Roz, but if people go through things, they gotta cry, gotta rant and rave a bit and get it out of their systems. That’s normal. You didn’t even cry and I’ve never seen Todd cry and I’ve known him for as long as I’ve known you and nearly as well. You just bury whatever is really brewing inside and get on with things. Eventually though, things catch up to you. I reckon that the big fight, as you call it, was things catching up to you both. And, look where you are now. Again, you’re both moving on with things.”
They each sat in silence digesting what was said, nursing their drinks. “Okay,” Bree said eventually, “that was deep.”
It was such a simple evaluation of what Shelly had said that they both burst into laughter. After a few more minutes of uncontrolled laughter, Bree continued, wiping tears evoked by their guffaws from her eyes, “You’re right though. The more I think about it - what you said and the conversation with Doctor Roz - the more I realize that while Todd and I had to do what we had to, we both put ourselves on the back-burner and our emotions were the first parts of us that went there.”
“Amen to that,” Shelly held up her glass in salute. “So what are you going to do about how you feel for him?”
“What can I do?” Bree shrugged. “I may have feelings for him, but I don’t think they’re returned.”
Shelly grunted in frustration. “For Pete’s sake, Bree, how can someone so intelligent be so darned blind.”
“What do you mean?” Bree blinked at Shelly, baffled.
“I saw him talking to you tonight,” Shelly offered. “First there was lust - the guy couldn’t take his eyes off of you. But, given that we’re looking pretty hot tonight, that was kinda expected.”
Bree rolled her eyes and waved a hand to indicate that Shelly should continue. Todd had lusted after her tonight? Darn, she hadn’t even noticed that!
“But then,” Shelly went on, “I saw care and concern. I don’t know what you guys were talking about, but the man looked like he wanted to take you into his arms and keep you safe. I don’t know about you, but that’s a good thing to have in a partner.”
“I didn’t notice that,” Bree stated.
Now it was Shelly’s turn to do an eye roll, “Of course, you didn’t. You were too busy doing some lusting yourself. And, I got an insecure, nervous vibe from you - like you didn’t know what to expect.”
“Are you sure you’re not working with Doctor Roz, Shelly?” Bree inquired. “I’m pretty impressed by your perceptive
ness.”
“I sell expensive clothing to high-end tourists mostly in rural Alaska,” Shelly stated factually. “How do you think I manage to do that? It’s all about figuring out what people desire and giving it to them.”
Bree held up her teacup in salute then ventured, “So what do you think I should do?”
“Nope,” Shelly shook her head, “you’re not getting off that easy. What do you think you should do about it? Do you want to be with him?”
“Oh yes,” Bree answered.
“I’ve already established for you that he’s giving off the same vibe,” Shelly responded. “So, now you gotta answer for yourself, how do you get him back?”
“Okay, I get it,” Bree acknowledged her friend’s advice. “I have some seducing to do, or courting first at least.”
“Yes,” agreed Shelly, “sort through your crap with each other before hitting the sack this time around.”
Bree nodded, “Yes, like I told him the night of the big fight, it’s not just about sex.”
“Honey,” Shelly chuckled, “you told him that? After making love to him?”
Bree smiled sheepishly, “Five times.”
“Oh my word, no wonder the man was furious,” Shelly chuckled. "You bruised his ego. Honey, when men sleep with you, they think it’s just sex but you’re not allowed to. They think that to you it must be the most earth-shattering, wonderful experience of your life that elevates them to the level of a demi-God.”
Bree looked indulgently at Shelly. One day, she was going to get Shelly to tell her what had made her become so cynical. “It wasn’t just sex, though, Shelly. I don’t think for either of us because he did get pretty angry at me when I said it. But, what I agree with you about is that sex, lovemaking, whatever you want to call it, is not going to solve our problems. I said as much that night and the words were right, are right even now, but my intentions behind them are different.” At Shelly’s look of confusion, she explained. “That night I said it because I’d panicked, because I remembered what had happened after the last time we’d slept together. Now, I’m saying it because I believe that we have to talk things through, agree to make this work between us before we sleep together again.”
“Well, good luck with that, honey,” Shelly, chirped. “The two of you looked about ready to explode with sexual frustration tonight. But, I get what you’re saying and can’t say that I disagree with your thinking. I just don’t know how practical that’s going to be. You know, Bree, sex is good, fun, and normal, so you shouldn’t repress those feelings either. Just learn to have a bit more balance.”
Bree cocked her head, considering. “Makes sense and I admit to a bit of relief. Well, a whole lot of relief, really,” Bree grinned, wickedly. “But, we’re talking as though Todd’s going to be agreeable about us getting back together. We don’t know if things will work out that way.”
“Trust me,” Shelly stated firmly, “that man wants you in his bed and his heart. I sell high fashion, remember.” They chuckled at the odd rightness of that statement.
Feeling more hopeful, Bree hugged Shelly in thanks. “I get it. You’re telling me to go for it with him - to win him back.”
“I said no such thing,” Shelly replied stiffly, “far be it from to meddle.”
Grinning widely, because Shelly was a relentless meddler and always had been, Bree went to have a long soak in a hot, fragrant bath. She’d been through a lot that day and she figured she deserved it. Finally.
Chapter 15
They elected to have breakfast in their room the next morning so that they could raid the meager supply of clothing they’d brought in preparation for Bree’s discussion with Todd. Thankfully, she’d bought a new pair of jeans and a smart casual sweater to wear to the town’s picnic because nothing Shelly had fit her figure or her complexion.
“This’ll have to do.” Bree studied the dark blue denim and black light-knit sweater. “It seems a bit boring though.”
“Nothing, the right accessories can’t fix,” Shelly offered, quizzically studying Bree in the mirror from behind. “And fortunately for you, short pants, they’re one size fits all.”
Bree picked up the nearby cushion off a chair and threw it at Shelly. “Yes, giraffe is so last season.”
“Cow,” Shelly retorted mockingly, sending them into more giggles.
Moments later, when reception called to notify her that Todd was waiting in the lobby, Bree did another quick study. With the added make-up, lip gloss, and jewelry, she looked good and ready for battle. She was going to win this man over once and for all - starting today.
With each step taken down the elegant stairs, Bree became more and more nervous. Hands clammy, she grabbed the balustrade, to steady herself. Get a grip Bree, she admonished, where is all your talk of fighting and courage. At the end of the landing, she spotted Todd, leafing through an outdoors magazine while lounging in the ample sofa. The sofa might be large but tall and masculine; Todd didn’t allow it to dwarf him.
Like her, he was dressed in denim and a sweater; casual summer picnic wear, very unlike the smart, sophisticated look he sported when they’d last been together at The Lodge. Bree didn’t care what he wore; he looked good in just about anything. Just as she got to the landing, he looked up and smiled at her in greeting and Bree felt a million fluttering wings of butterflies in her tummy.
Glancing around the lobby, she noted that it was a hive of activity as people prepared to set off for their day’s planned activities. Many of them were dressed in jeans, shorts, and sweaters and carrying picnic blankets. Bree’s lips curved, if the picnic drew in a good number of tourists, it would be added confirmation that the town was well on its way to establishing its place on the Alaskan tourism map. Not to mention that her gran would be thrilled as the chairperson of the Devil’s Peak Cares Association. Her gran and fellow association members had been planning the picnic for months, which was an added reason to be grateful for her grandparents’ gift of the room. With both Bree and Shelly out of the picture to help pitch in with the last-minute arrangements and her granddad no doubt looking after Amber, her gran must’ve had her hands full. Bree made a mental note to get her grandparents a gift to say thanks and to give them the night and the next day off from farm and house work. They all normally pitched in and did their bit, but they deserved to put their feet up. She’d rope in Shelly and they’d turn it into a game for Amber; have some fun doing work.
Todd met her in the middle of the lobby by a large table bearing an oversized arrangement of flowers. “Hi,” she said, “thanks for coming. I really appreciate it, especially since the shop must be busy.”
“I closed for today,” Todd shrugged. “I thought that if I did, it would give the picnic a fair shot, so no problem. Wanna get some coffee?”
Bree peered past his shoulder into the exceptionally busy entrance of the dining room. Children ran in and out of the room, babies cried from beyond and the clinking sound of crockery and cutlery intermingled with excited breakfast chatter made it noisy. It was a great place to go if you wanted to get into a vacation mood but not one for a private, serious conversation.
“Uh… it’s kinda loud in there,” Bree stated. “If you want coffee, I could go and ask if they could bring us some out to the veranda instead? There are tables and chairs out there that we could sit at.”
“I’m okay,” Todd replied. “You know that I’m a bit of a coffee snob and I’ve already had a few cups this morning. The ads for this place said that it had ‘beautiful gardens.’ Should we go for a walk and see if Jack has put his money where his mouth is?”
A bit jealous, aren’t we, Bree thought satisfactorily. “The gardens would be fine. And from what I’ve seen, I’m sure that Jack’s delivered on his promise.” Bree couldn’t resist stoking that flame. A little bit of jealousy wouldn’t hurt. At least it indicated that he was feeling something!
After consulting reception on the allocation of the gardens, they navigated the outside of the hotel, around th
e lake and found a rather unimpressive sign stating, “Gardens." Bree and Todd looked at each other and grinned. “Delivering on his promise, you said?” Todd quirked a brow at her jokingly.
Bree shrugged, “Let’s go find a bench, assuming that this piece of forest has one.”
“You noticed that did you?” Todd asked.
“Yes,” replied Bree. “It’s very clever of Jack if you think about it. The locals wouldn’t come here for a walk in the gardens. We’d just walk around the forests surrounding the town. But folk who aren’t from here wouldn’t necessarily know better, so I imagine that to them, this would be spectacular.”
Todd looked around, noticing the lush green leaves of the trees, the wild berry trees bearing colorful abundance of fruit, heard the birds chirp in chorus. “I see what you mean and even though it’s what we’re used to, if you stop and think about it, it is pretty impressive.”
“Well you know,” Bree, stated, “you explore our surroundings as a career. A pretty good career if you ask me.”
Todd inclined his head in acknowledgement of the compliment, “thank you. And there’s you a bench.” He pointed towards a fallen log that lay along the man-made path.
“So,” he began, turning around to face her as she seated herself next to him on the log, “what did you want to talk to me about?”
This close to his face, Bree noticed that he looked tired and drawn, as though he wasn’t getting much sleep. It tugged at her heart and she resisted the urge to wrap her arms around him, ask him about it, and comfort him.
Taking a breath to steal a moment and gather her thoughts, she looked in front of herself and blurted out, “I went to see Doctor Roz on Friday.”
“Are you ill?” Todd asked, his voice laced with concern.
“No,” Bree shook her head, “she’s not a medical doctor, and she’s a psychologist.”
“Oh,” Todd relaxed and waited for her to continue.
“It was Shelly and my gran’s idea,” she explained, twining the hem of her sweater around her fingers. “I’d been feeling down and neglecting myself and those around me. They noticed and sprung an intervention on me. Unfortunately, Amber picked up on it.”
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