by Virlyce
Lindyss shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. We were going to need some demons later on.”
The two knights were in their undergarments, and two skeletons wore shiny new platearmor. The knights were seated on one end of a wooden table while Vur and Lindyss sat on the other. A dozen undead knights formed a ring around the table. Outside, hundreds of undead stood at attention. They were at the marsh where the skeletons usually slept.
“W-what do you want with us?” the knight on the left asked. He had three blue horns while the knight on the right had a single red horn.
“Oh, just a few answers to our questions,” Lindyss said as she clasped her hands in front of herself on the table. “And some tutoring. Don’t worry, you’ll be set free when it’s over.”
The two knights gulped. Lindyss was wearing a red robe that hugged her body and accentuated her curves. She flashed them a smile.
“Alright,” the red-horned knight said.
“Great. Let’s get on with it then,” Lindyss said. “What qualifications do you need to marry into the royal family?”
The two knights glanced at Vur before facing each other with eyebrows raised. “Well, for starters, you’d have to be a demon noble…,” the blue-horned knight said.
“What else?”
The knight shrugged. “You’d have to bring more benefits than every other potential suitor. Usually that means owning a lot of land and money.”
“Can’t Tafel pick who she marries?” Vur asked.
The two knights’ mouths fell open. “You’re talking about the princess?” the blue-horned knight asked. “I thought you were asking about a side branch of the royal family. You’d need to be richer, smarter, and stronger than the rest of the suitors. You’d also need the approval of the majority of the family. It’s easier for a woman to marry a prince, but the criteria to marry the princess is a lot higher.”
Lindyss leaned forward rested her chin on her hand. “Wow, this is going to be a lot easier than I thought,” she said. The two knights stared at her but didn’t say anything. She smiled and pointed at Vur. “Teach him etiquette befitting a demon prince.”
The demons glanced at each other, doubt in their eyes.
“Don’t worry. He’s a quick learner,” Lindyss said. “Let me know if there’s anything you need to teach him but can’t.”
“The royal family places heavy emphasis on music. And a prince must know how to dance,” the red-horned knight said while rubbing his chin. “He also has to be a competent strategist and commander.”
Lindyss turned towards the undead leader. “You heard the man,” she said. “We’ll need a commander, a dancer, and a musician. Remember. No killing.”
“As you command.” The undead leader saluted, and the skeletons left the cave. Lindyss stood up and turned to leave.
The blue-horned knight scrunched his eyebrows together. “Aren’t you afraid we’ll escape?”
Lindyss laughed. “Be careful,” she said as she walked away. “He bites.”
The two knights judged the half-naked human boy in front of them.
Vur frowned. “I don’t bite demons,” he said. “Grimmy says they’ll give me a stomachache.”
***
“The undead are back!”
A groan escaped from Gale’s lips as he dropped his quill. The letter to Opfern’s family explaining his disappearance had turned into a letter about the noble’s mental instability. It was even harder to write than before. Once again, he retrieved his staff and stepped outside. Everyone was trudging towards the courtyard. Dustin was already waiting at the top of the city gate.
“Why do you think they’re doing this?” Gale asked Dustin.
Dustin shook his head. “It feels like they’re stealing our equipment or gathering information. Why else would they return Opfern alive,” he said. “Has he said anything?”
Gale sighed. “He’s been curled up in the fetal position ever since he came back,” he said and shook his head. “He refuses to talk to any of us. He was a good man.” Gale faced the approaching cloud of dust. “There seems to be more of them than last time? I requested reinforcements from the capital. They should arrive here in two weeks. If they come back within that time we can wipe them out.”
Dustin nodded. “I requested some reinforcements also. To your stations everyone,” he said, and the soldiers scrambled to attention.
The undead stopped just outside of the garrison archers’ range. They formed two rectangles of 200-by-100 undead cavalry. The undead leader dismounted and stepped forward. He was wearing Opfern’s old mithril armor.
“What do you want from us?” one of the knights shouted.
“We want a commander, a dancer, and a musician,” the leader said. “I’ll give you everything I have in my right pocket for them.”
“… You don’t even have pockets!” one of the archers shouted.
The leader tilted his head.
“I’ll give you everything in his right pocket,” he said as he pointed at Gale.
“He doesn’t have pockets either! He’s wearing a robe,” the archer said.
“What?” the leader said and shook his head while looking down. “What kind of unfortunate fellows are you to not have pockets?” The undead cavalry behind him all shook their heads and clicked their jaws together.
“Are you trying to make us mad?” Gale asked. “What are your real intentions?”
“I already told you: I want a commander, a dancer, and a musician to accompany us home.”
“What if we refuse?” Dustin asked.
“Then I hope you’re prepared to face the consequences,” the leader said. “Isn’t it better to sacrifice a few for the sake of many?”
“We would never sacrifice our own to rotting liars like you,” Gale said.
“Then you will voluntarily come,” the leader said. “Men! Just like we practiced!”
All the skeletons drew their swords and equipped their sheaths in their other hand.
“Get ready, archers,” Gale said as he flourished his staff. “Mages prepare your purification magic.”
“Start!” the leader shouted and waved his sword. “A one, a two, a one two three four!”
The skeletons banged their swords against their sheathes and sang,
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves~
Everybody’s nerves~
Everybody’s nerves!~
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves
And this is how it gooooooooooooes~
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves~
Everybody’s nerves~
Everybody’s nerves!~
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves
And this is how it gooooooooooooes~…
The sound caused the ground to tremble and the walls to shake. The glass windows in the garrison vibrated, and all the animals within ran around. The voices of the forty thousand skeletons sounded like rocks grinding against each other. A lich in the back of the formation used wind magic to amplify the sound.
The knights and soldiers in the garrison tried to speak to each other, but they had to shout to be heard over the constant drone of the skeletons. After ten minutes passed, a few knights were on the ground sobbing and covering their ears. They wanted to charge out and fight the skeletons, but Gale and Dustin refused to open the gate. After half an hour, Dustin and Gale looked at each other and sighed. An hour passed of non-stop singing. The knights were sitting in the courtyard covering their ears while gritting their teeth. Two hours passed, then three hours passed.
“I can’t take it anymore!” one of the knights shouted and ran to his quarters. “They’re tone deaf too!” He came back a few minutes later with a lute and harp. He unlatched the gates and went outside. Nobody stopped him. “I’m a musician,” he shouted in front of the undead leader, waving his instruments.
The leader nodded. “Go behind the formation. There’s no noise over there.”
“Thank you, thank you
,” the knight said with tears in his eyes. He went behind the formation where ten skeletons grabbed him and rode away.
Another two hours passed. The knights weren’t allowed to eat lunch in case the undead attacked while they were off guard, and dinner was approaching. A demon stood up and left the garrison. He was whisked away by skeletons also. The lich amplified the undead leader’s voice. “Now we just need a commander.”
The people in the courtyard looked at Gale. Gale shook his head and shouted, “We just need to hold out for two weeks until our reinforcements arrive.”
Four days later, two demons rode out of the garrison with a tied up Gale wearing pajamas in tow. Every person in the garrison had black circles underneath their eyes. A cheer resounded in the air after the singing stopped.
The two demons came back with a few silver coins.
“What’s this?” Dustin asked.
“It was in Gale’s right pocket.”
16
There was a hint of concern on Lindyss’ face when the undead leader brought back a commander. The man was bound with ropes, and there were black bags underneath his eyes. He was wearing pajamas and had a sock stuffed in his mouth. She was in the same cave as before, but there were now three additional people sitting across from her and Vur. The undead leader grinned at her before dumping Gale onto a chair.
“What did you do to him?” Lindyss asked.
“The same thing as the other two,” the leader said with a cackle. “I wooed him with a song.”
Gale shook his head and tried to speak, but only gargling sounds were heard through the sock. Lindyss smiled at him. “Thanks for your cooperation,” she said and gestured at the other four sitting next to him. “These men will fill you in.”
“Can we ungag him?” the red-horned knight asked.
Lindyss nodded.
“What’s going on?” Gale asked as he rubbed the lint off his tongue with his fingers.
“Simply put, we’re here to teach this boy how to be a noble,” the blue-horned knight said.
“So why am I here?” Gale asked.
“You’re here to show him how to be a leader.”
“I don’t think I’m qualified,” Gale said and sighed. “My own people mutinied against me and threw me to the pack of undead.”
“So he’s useless?” Vur asked while tilting his head.
“No, no,” the human with the harp said while waving his hands. “He’s an archbishop who understands the plight of the people. Understanding your citizens is a very important quality for a leader to have.”
“I don’t care about the people,” Vur said. “I just want to play with Tafel.”
Gale turned his head towards the four men sitting next to him. They were trembling and none of them dared to look Vur in the eyes. He frowned and waved his hands at Vur. “Sca—”
Before he could finish casting his spell, the blue-horned knight slapped the back of his head and glared at him.
Gale glared back. “What are you doing?”
“Don’t anger the boy,” the knight said with a growl, “or we’ll die. He can kill a behemoth bear with his bare hands.”
Vur nodded. “Now teach me,” he said while smiling.
“I can teach you, but that doesn’t mean you can become a noble,” Gale said. “I’m a close friend of the king. He won’t bestow a title or plot of land on someone who kidnaps others even if they are as strong as an SSS-ranked adventurer. You need the blood of a noble flowing through your veins to be a noble. I personally don’t agree with it, but that’s just how it is.”
“Is that so?” Lindyss asked with a smile on her face. “You don’t have to worry about that. Just teach the boy.” She turned to the undead leader. “Gather all the undead. We’re making a trip.”
The leader saluted and turned to leave with Lindyss, followed by the rest of the skeletons.
The five men exchanged glances. The man with the harp sighed. “I guess I’ll start first this time.”
***
The ground trembled and bugle horns resounded in the distance. Dustin opened his eyes and was greeted by the sight of dust raining down from the ceiling. “The undead are approaching!” a voice yelled. Dustin sighed and rubbed his eyes while sitting up. Humans and demons stumbled out of their barracks. Some moaned once they saw the moon shining overhead.
“Why can’t they just let us sleep?” a man complained as he equipped his armor.
Others cursed and nodded their heads in agreement. The soldiers gathered in the courtyard, and the ground shook even harder, causing some of them to fall over. A few tiles on the roof of the barracks slipped and cracked against the ground.
Dustin’s face paled at the approaching dust cloud that filled up half the horizon. “There’s easily a hundred times more undead than last time,” he said to himself. He waved a soldier down. “This needs to be reported to the demon lord and the human king. If we don’t receive the help of the adventurers in Fuselage, the undead could wipe out both nations. Go to the teleporter and pass the message on.” The soldier’s eyes widened before he nodded and ran off.
Dustin held his breath as twenty 500-by-200 rectangles of skeletons lined up in a 10-by-2 rectangular formation. There wasn’t a single patch of land visible from the garrison to the horizon. At the head of the undead army was the undead leader and Lindyss, who was riding her basilisk. Dustin’s eyes widened when his gaze fell on her. What’s she doing here?
“Ahem, ahem,” the undead leader said while bowing his head to Lindyss. “Our mistress is going to speak. Listen well mortals.”
“Hello. Can you hear me? Great. As of today, I’m establishing the kingdom of Konigreich. We’ll be claiming all the land that the dragons burned down,” Lindyss said. “You have two days to get out of our territory. Inform your leaders for me, thanks. Have a nice day.”
Dustin frowned. Even if the reinforcements arrived, they wouldn’t be able to do anything against an army of this size. “If we refuse?” Dustin asked.
“Then we’ll sing!” all the skeletons shouted at once.
Dustin winced. The soldiers in the courtyard let out a collective groan. “Alright,” Dustin said and faced his soldiers. “Men. We’re going home first thing in the morning. Get a good night’s rest and pack your things.” A few men cheered, and they all went back to their quarters to sleep.
Lindyss turned to the undead leader. “You’ll threaten them with song?” she asked with one eyebrow raised.
The undead leader cackled and grinned.
***
“Your Highness! We’ve just received an urgent report from the garrison in the south,” a sentry said outside of Randel’s door.
Randel groaned and climbed out of bed. He put on a robe and sat on his couch. “Come in,” he said. He yawned as the door swung open. “What’s so urgent?”
“Gale requests the help of the adventurers in Fuselage to stem the tide of the undead. There are too many of them, even the reinforcements sent before won’t be enough to stop them if they attack,” the sentry said while kneeling.
The king frowned. “The adventurers are needed in Fuselage. It isn’t so easy for anyone, even me, to call them back,” he said. “Tell Gale to figure out a solution. The adventurers must be saved as a last resort.”
Another sentry ran down the hallway to the king’s room. “An update, Your Highness,” the sentry said while dropping to one knee. “The undead have declared they are founding a new kingdom that encompasses all of the burnt lands. Our soldiers have been forced to retreat in fear for their lives.”
“A kingdom? Composed of what?”
“Reports say there’s a total of 2 million undead, Your Highness.”
“Two million? That doesn’t seem like too much,” the king said. “What could they possibly want to found a kingdom for? They don’t need food or money. Their population can’t grow. They’re dead.”
***
A farmer was sleeping in his bed with his wife when he was awoken by a knock on th
e door. His wife groaned. “You should answer that,” she mumbled while still half-asleep. The farmer stirred and climbed to his feet, shielding his eyes from the moonlight pouring in through the window. He stumbled to the door and opened it. He screamed.
“What’s wrong?” his wife asked and bolted up in bed.
“Sk-skeleton!” the farmer shouted as his knees knocked together. He fell over backwards. “G-get away!”
The skeleton was wearing tattered leather armor that was dyed gray with mud. It cleared its throat, but it sounded like rocks clattering to the floor.
“Hello. I mean you no harm. Have you heard of our lord and resurrector, Lindyss the Corrupted One who accompanies us after death?” it asked as it scratched its head with a rusty axe. The farmer sat in a pool of expanding yellow liquid. He shook his head with his eyes wide. His mouth opened, but no words came out.
“Oh good, do you mind if I enlighten you?” the skeleton asked.
The man stared without saying a word, and his wife covered her head with the blanket.
“I’ll take your silence as a sign of agreement,” the skeleton said and walked in. “We’re founding a holy kingdom to the south and we’re looking for some fresh me—, err, population to help our holy kingdom grow. Skeletons will provide all the labor for the farms and construction. You just have to help increase the population of our kingdom. The demon lord and human king have already acknowledged our sovereignty. Come, accompany us and I’ll tell you all about it on the way.”
The farmer was silent. “Um, will yo—”
“How about this? I’ll flip a coin. If I win you come with me, agreed?”
“N—”
“Great, it’s agreed then. Heads I win, tails you lose,” the skeleton said as it pulled a coin out of its femur and flipped it. The coin bounced off the floor. “It’s tails. You lose.”
The farmer sat in a daze as a group of skeletons came into the room, lifted him and his wife, and carried the screaming couple out the door.
***
Dustin and the soldiers gathered outside of the tents they had set up after being forced out of the garrison. They received orders to keep watch on the undead kingdom and wait for the reinforcements to arrive to assess the situation. Two lines of soldiers could be seen coming from different directions: the northwest and the northeast. One line consisted of demons wearing platearmor and wielding spears. The other consisted of humans wearing chainmail with swords and shields.