by Burkey, Dana
The room looked exactly how it had when I first entered the gym just two years prior, only now I was much more at home. I no longer tugged at the hem of my tight cheer shorts or felt self-conscious with a glittery bow in my hair. Instead, I fit in with the team around me, all of us clad in teal and black practice uniforms expertly adorned with rhinestones to spell NITRO across the front of our sports bras or tank tops. The only thing that made me stand out at all was the black brace I slipped on my foot before trading my usual tennis shoes for a pair of white cheer shoes. It wasn’t as hefty or as serious as the cast, boot, or brace that came before it, but it was still a little reminder to me and everyone around me that I was on limited cheer duty.
“Can I borrow a hair tie?” Emma asked, rushing up to me as I slid my tennis shoes into the cubby with my other stuff. Her hair was flopping around her head in a strange formation, likely hinting a broken rubber band.
“I think so,” I nodded, digging through the bottles of Tylenol, extra cheer clothes, and granola bars in my bag.
“Thank you,” she announced, pulling the hair tie from my hand before I could even extend it to her. Instead she took it and raced off to the mirror where she got to work pulling her long curly blonde hair up into a high ponytail before putting her bow back in place. Although the bow had an elastic band to keep it secured, it was never good enough to hold everything where it needed to stay during a long practice. Even for someone like me with short hair pulled into a half ponytail, using an extra elastic to keep the hair out of my face was a must at cheer.
“You’re a lifesaver,” Emma said as she returned to give me a thank you hug. “How’s the ankle today?”
“Great,” I said honestly. “Not that it means I’ll be doing much.”
“For now,” she reminded me, giving her hazel eyes a roll for emphasis. “You’ll be back in no time, making all of us remember why you’re point flier.”
Although the comment could have been taken as mean coming from some people, I knew Emma meant it in the best way possible. Emma was one of my best friends on Nitro, and as a fellow flier we got along great since we dealt with a lot of the same struggles. When I needed help getting the correct body position for a new skill, Emma was always quick to help me figure it out. And when she needed ways to get extra height on a tumbling skill, I was always sure to let her know what worked best for me. It helped that she was dating Matthew, who was not only my stunting partner last season, but also Lexi’s older brother. Those two factors meant her and I spent a lot of time together both inside and outside of the gym.
“How did stunting yesterday go with Connor?” Emma asked, giving her eyebrows a little wiggle.
“Fine,” I shrugged. “It was just such basic stuff I was ready to pull my hair out. I mean, if I don’t at least try to throw harder skills, we’ll never know if my ankle is getting stronger or not.”
“Soon,” she assured me. “As annoyed as you are with having to mark skills and walk out tumbling passes, TJ is even more so. It’s not exactly easy to see how everything is going to look without everyone actually in the air. He’ll be just as glad as you when you’re back at one hundred percent.”
“I don’t know about that,” I frowned.
“Don’t know about what?” Juleah asked, walking up to us while twisting her long black micro braids into a bun.
“Max’s just stressing about getting back to normal,” Emma said summing it up concisely.
“You and me both.”
As my back base for stunts for the second year in a row, when I didn’t go up into the air it meant Juleah didn’t get to practice full out either. Instead she had to go through the motions, then work with other fliers in her extra time at the gym so she didn’t get rusty. But, despite all that, she always had a smile on her face and a positive attitude before every practice. Like most of the athletes on Nitro, it was the persevering through rough times that made us really get the fuel to perform.
Our conversation continued a little as we began our pre-practice stretching, Emma and I holding positions a lot more extreme than Juleah. We were joined by more and more athletes in black and teal over time. And eventually the other 19 members of the team took seats around us. The team was still two people short, due to the open spots caused by injury and other commitments. Aaron hurt his knee a few weeks into summer conditioning, and Paula decided to take the season off to focus on high school cheer. Even though Paula wasn’t a flier I found myself hoping Lexi could take the flying position so Catherine could fill in as a base for Paula instead. When TJ walked up to the practice mat without her though, I had a feeling their discussion didn’t go how my friend was hoping it would.
“Okay everyone, time to get running,” TJ called out. “I need to see Max and Sara K. The rest of you can get started.”
“What’s up Coach?” Sara asked as we both walked up to TJ.
“Max, how do you feel about giving running a try today?” He asked in reply to the question.
“I feel great,” I replied enthusiastically. “I’m ready to go.”
“Good, but you’re running with Sara and a mile and a half only though.” TJ paused, as if to let everything he had just said sink in. “You go at her speed, and don’t push the pace like I know you will. If you feel any pain you quit and walk back. But if you make it through and it’s all okay, then today we get to add in baskets.”
I stared at TJ, my mouth all but hanging open. The offer to do baskets was enticing to say the least, and even the idea of getting to run was great. It showed he was going to let me start easing back into the full extent of the routine. But, running with Sara K was going to require all of my self-control. Sara was a great base, good at tumbling, and honestly a great addition to Nitro after moving up from Fuze after assessments. The problem was, running wasn’t her thing. From day one she had always been the last person to finish the daily three miles. Her time wasn’t terrible, it was just much slower than I could and would go when given the chance.
“It won’t be that bad Max,” Sara said, almost sounding a little hurt. “It’s only two laps, so maybe I can go a little faster.”
“That’s not what this is about,” TJ interjected. “I’m not trying to get you to go faster Sara. You try your best. Plus, your lap time is getting shorter every week. The reason I’m putting you girls together is so Max doesn't push herself like I know she will when left to her own devices. Look at it this way, after today you can tell everyone you did the conditioning run as fast as Max.”
“Now that’s kind of fun,” Sara agreed, a hint of a smile growing on her face. “Think you can keep up Max?”
“Let’s hope so,” I said with a shake of my head, trying to have a good attitude about everything. Mostly because I knew that after the rather slow laps I would get to finally do some real flying. Which was a step in the right direction.
The two laps with Sara were a lot more fun than I anticipated. At first, I felt really bad for pretty much whining that I had to run with someone so slow, but in the end, it gave me a chance to get to know her. Sara was 18, so it was her final year at TNT Force before she headed off to college. It was after two years on Fuze, including the year I was on the team to win Summit. I never got the chance to know her back then since we weren’t on the same stunt team. Not to mention I was also on Blast as well at the time, so it didn’t give me a lot of free time in Florida. When given the chance to hang out while we completed the mile and a half, I found out I had a lot more in common with Sara then I realized.
“You can come over and use my air mat if you want sometime,” I offered as we were nearing the gym. “There’s a lot less pressure that way, so it helps let you focus on the skills and everything.”
“That would be awesome,” Sara answered while wiping sweat off her forehead. “If I don’t get my standing full by NCA I’m going to be so mad.”
“Once my dad lets me get the mat out again I’ll let you know,” I assured her. “He put it away until I get cleared by my doctor. But
I’m feeling pretty good.”
“Even after the run?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I nodded after trying to concentrate on my ankle for a few seconds. “It feels the same as when we left.”
“Good,” she smiled. “Then maybe I won’t lose my running buddy after just one day. It’s honestly really nice to have someone to chat with the whole time.”
The comment was one I could agree to easily. Hanging out with Sara was really fun. She was a lot taller than me, and had a build a lot more suited to lift people in the air than fly herself. But, she was still fit and muscular, even if she wasn’t as into running as some people on the team. In fact, in a lot of ways Sara reminded me of Halley, especially since she had the same bright blond hair and brown eyes as my best friend. The only thing that made her really stand out were the bright purple braces filling in her smile.
It wasn’t long before we entered the gym, having completed our distance run in good time. There were only a few athletes that were already done, the people that a year ago would have always finished after me. But for now, I was glad to get to do anything instead of sitting in the gym working on upper body conditioning. Not only that, I was happy to finally get a popsicle. TJ only gave them out at some practices, and only to athletes who ran. That meant the red frozen treat he handed me as I entered the gym was my first one all season.
“How are you feeling?” he asked immediately.
“Great,” I grinned. “I honestly think I could have done all three miles and been fine.”
“No complaining or rushing you?” TJ turned to ask Sara.
“Nope,” she replied taking a popsicle as well. “She did good. Honestly.”
TJ gave my ankle a long look, then moved to hand out treats to other athletes who were entering the gym. I knew he wasn’t totally convinced, but at the same time he wanted me back on the mat. Or at least he wanted to make sure I could eventually return to the mat in the same shape I had been before getting hurt. He told me as much a few times, always expressing to me that he didn’t want me to jump back in too soon only to get hurt again. None of it made me particularly excited, but TJ had been through what I was going through more than once, so I trusted him.
Before TJ opened his own gym with Nicole and Tonya, he was an all star cheerleader all through high school and college. It still showed in his muscular build, even if he didn’t have quite all of his old skills anymore. I had seen him do a few tumbling passes and help stunt from time to time, but he always told everyone he was too ‘rusty’ for much more than that. Instead, he focused on coaching, pushing us to be our best through his conditioning, advice, and difficult practices. In the summer, it meant a lot of drills and working on what felt like impossible stunts, but by the time competitions rolled around we were thankful for all of the hard work we put in all summer.
“How did it go?” Connor asked, walking over to me as I took a seat on the mat.
“Good,” I said between drinking the juice from my popsicle. “And now I get to do baskets.”
“Wait, really?” he asked, sitting down with a shocked expression on his face.
“Yup,” I nodded. “I doubt I’ll be doing much more than some straight rides or singles, but it’s better than marking things all the time.”
“You’ll be back to running everything in no time.” Connor emphasized his point by leaning closer to nudge my shoulder with his. I gave him a nudge in return before finishing my popsicle and getting started on a few after run stretches.
An hour later I stood on the mat surrounded by Connor, Juleah, and Addison. We were all feeling the tiring effects of lots of conditioning, but I was feeling eagerness more than anything. I was finally going to get to fly, even if it was still a more basic version than what everyone else on the team was getting ready to perform. Thankfully I had the same stunt team as the season before, and any time spent with them on the mat was a good thing.
“Today we’re drilling kick doubles,” TJ explained once we were all standing in our spots around the mat. My team was front and center. “Last practice people were getting sloppy. Apparently we can’t land basic level 5 skills anymore, so we’re going to do 25 each. Then, we need to work on our elite stunt section before we begin full outs. Got it?”
Everyone around us nodded and then got to work as TJ counted us in. I waited, knowing there was no way I would be jumping back into practice so completely. So, when TJ walked up to us as everyone threw their fliers in the air, I was hoping for the best.
“I want to see some straight rides to see your height,” he explained. “Once I see a few we can decide what else to try today.”
And that was it. It was all he decided to say. He turned and walked off the mat, planting himself on the center line so he could watch me as well as the rest of the stunt teams at the same time. He kept his eyes locked on my group though as we began the first toss. Between his angular jaw, the serious look on his face, and the way he crossed his arms tight over his chest, I got the feeling he was more nervous than he let on. This was, after all, the first real test of what my ankle could handle.
“Nice and easy,” Connor said to me, moving to lock his arms with Addison’s. Once I hopped up into their hands, Juleah placed a reassuring hand on my back. As Connor counted us in, Juleah waited until the last second before moving her hand from my back and helping propel me up into the air. I flew easily, flying high in the air with my body stick straight and my arms raised high above my head. Once gravity took over and I began my plummet to the mat, I brought my arms to my sides and bent my waist just enough to allow my teammates below me to catch me without any of us getting knocked around. It only took a few seconds, and then I found myself being placed back on the mat.
“Run it again,” TJ said to us, although I noticed the corner of his mouth turning up in what looked to be a suppressed smile.
We did as he said, running the straight ride a second time, then a third time, and then a fourth. Each time he told us to do it again, and each time his smile grew a little more. He also dropped his arms, and looked a lot less intimidating and more like the caring and fun coach I knew him to be. As if to prove just that, after my fourth basket he walked forward and gave me a big hug, lifting me off my feet. I couldn’t help but laugh, hugging my coach in response.
“You almost looked like you had more height than last season,” TJ explained to me after releasing me from the embrace. “How’s the ankle holding up?”
“Fine,” I answered honestly, still smiling. “Even after the run I’m not feeling any kind of pressure or anything.”
“Good.” TJ looked me over while thinking, his eyes seeming to twinkle with excitement. In the gym lights they were the same dark teal as the patch of dyed spiky hair sticking up from his blond roots. “Let’s do some single arounds and kick singles. I want to make sure the rest of your body is still ready to step it up a notch.”
Giving TJ a nod, I turned and walked the few steps back to my stunt group. They all looked just as excited as I was, clearly happy to get back to some real skills. Reminding myself not to get too distracted with my rising emotions, I got back in place to try the straight ride again, only this time with a full corkscrew rotation of my body while in the air. Considering it was the hardest basket toss I had been allowed to try since Worlds, it was impossible to keep a grin off my face as we began the skill.
“You did well today Max,” TJ said to me once we were finally done with practice for the day. “As long as we get the all clear tomorrow from your doctor then I think we can start adding in some tumbling.”
“Really?” I asked, feeling instantly energized despite the long practice.
“You can only throw passes through to layouts, but it will be a nice warm up for a while.” Even though he was trying to sound firm while he spoke, the look on his face was anything but. Clearly, he was as happy as I was over the improvement my ankle was showing.
“Sounds good,” I said simply, although inside I was all but doing cartwheels about the
good news. I had only been practicing tumbling passes through to tucks, so being allowed to end in layouts was a step closer to finally throwing fulls again.
I chatted with a few friends as I changed my shoes and grabbed my cheer bag, when I suddenly remembered exactly why Lexi was at the gym. I had been so focused on my progress it wasn’t until I saw her working on one of the open mats that I remembered she had met with TJ before Nitro’s practice began. After quickly pausing to slip on basketball shorts and an oversized tank top over my sports bra and cheer shorts, I made a beeline for her. She was working on standing jumps as I approached, jumping in the air and reaching for her toes that were out to her sides for a move called a toe touch. She did two of these in a row, then followed it with a standing full, her body twisting while also completing a full backflip. Her landing was rough, involving a few steps to regain her balance, but it had come a long way in just a few short months of working on it.
“That was awesome,” I told her once she was finally standing upright.