Landon tossed her a quick wink.
Zaire jolted back to attention and hurried down the stairs.
The early September evenings in Riversong cooled off rapidly, and Zaire was thankful to see that Salem and Jett had built a fire in Salem’s backyard firepit. Canvas camping chairs encircled it. She settled into a chair facing both the fire and the river beyond. Salem’s lawn was flat for several feet, but then it gave way to an evergreen-studded slope that led right down to the river’s edge. Here the evergreens were so tall that their branches didn’t start until well above Salem’s roofline. So nothing but a few trunks marred the view of the gray-green river burbling past. The placid river ran smoothly for some ways, before cascading into a tumble over boulders the size of small cars in some instances. And out in the center of the placid area, Zaire saw a large fish lurch for his supper. She loosed a sigh. God’s creation was just perfect.
She loved her lake house. She and Landon had been thrilled when it had come on the market just as they started looking, but there was something so comforting about the rushing current of a river for background noise.
Shiloh settled into the chair on one side of her, and Kacy into the other. And unfortunately, by the time Landon reached the lawn all the chairs near her were taken. He took a seat across the firepit from her and settled into an easy conversation with Officer Reardon and Micha.
Quinten, who had only a piece of burger and a piece of cheese on his plate, rushed up to Micha. “Dad! Dad!” He tugged for his father’s attention. “Can I go down to the river?”
Beside Zaire, Shiloh stood and started to place her plate on her chair, but Micha’s next words stopped her. “Eat first, son. Then we’ll talk about going down to the water.”
Shiloh froze for just a fraction of a moment, before picking up her plate and resuming her seat.
“Yes, Dad.” Quinten obediently placed his plate on a chair by Micha and knelt in front of it to start eating.
Shiloh released a breath that was loud enough for Zaire to hear.
Zaire leaned close so she could speak quietly. “How are things going?” Even as she asked the question, she noticed Micha flick an inscrutable glance toward his son’s mother.
Shiloh shook her head. “I seem to keep blowing it. I feel like I need to make up for lost time, but Micha insists that if I keep on like I am, I’m going to spoil Quinten rotten. I’m trying to see things his way. But it’s hard. Every little boy needs a bit of fun and carefree joy in his life. Micha’s got a lot of rules and regulations and Quinten doesn’t seem to question it. I don’t want to upset the balance. I’m just trying to find a way to be part of my son’s life and not send Micha into a tailspin of frustration.”
Zaire, squeezed her arm. “You’ll figure it out.”
“I hope so.”
After the meal, Salem suggested bocce ball for everyone while she and Jett cleaned up. Zaire tried to offer to help with the cleanup, but Salem wouldn’t hear of it. “Jett and I will be done in just a jiff. Go”—she shooed her toward the court with a pointed look—“have fun.” Her brows pumped and a twinkle leapt into her eyes.
Zaire grinned. “Fine. If you insist.” She felt her anticipation rising even as she headed toward the court which was marked out in the grass along the side of the house. Maybe this would be the opportunity she’d been looking for to talk to Landon.
Sure enough, when she got there, Micha and Shiloh had taken Quinten down to the water, Kacy and Officer Reardon had teamed up, and Landon was waiting for her.
Zai hadn’t spoken to him since he’d walked out of the store the other day, and just the sight of him this close had her heartrate doing funny things. “Hi,” she offered quietly.
“Hi,” he returned just as quietly.
“Landon—”
“So are we going to get this game going, or what?” Kacy interrupted. “Does anyone know the rules? Because we don’t.”
Zaire tried not to be frustrated with her friend. She was probably just as nervous about being thrown together with the handsome officer as Zai was about following through with her decision and letting Lan know.
Landon pulled his focus from hers, although more than bit reluctantly.
Zaire pushed some air between her lips, wishing she could dispel her tension just as easily as her breath.
Landon offered Kacy a cheeky grin. “I guess that’s good news for Zaire and I, then.”
Kacy crossed her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him, causing Phoenix to give her a double-take.
If Zaire wasn’t mistaken, there was a wash of pink in Kacy’s cheeks now.
Landon explained the rules and they set to playing. Zaire gave up her hopes of being able to find a quiet moment to speak to Landon since he and Kacy kept the conversation lively and flowing freely.
Maybe after the game…
But that wasn’t to be either. Just as the game was coming to a close, Landon’s phone rang. He glanced at the screen, frowned, and immediately started to step away. “Y’all excuse me, would you? I need to take this.”
Salem and Jett came down before he finished his call, and as soon as he hung up, he stepped back to the group and captured Salem’s attention. “Listen, I’m going to have to go. I’m sorry to duck out early. But that was my director. Some things have come up and I’m going to have to fly to California this evening.”
Zaire gasped. And every set of eyes in the group fell on her, including Landon’s. But after only a moment he turned back to Salem and stretched out one hand. “Thanks for having me over tonight. I’ve enjoyed it.” He shook Jett’s hand after that, and then turned to look right at her. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
Zaire’s heart was pumping with such terror that she wasn’t sure she’d heard him right. But she nodded and followed him back around to the base of the stairs leading up to the deck.
There he stopped and turned to face her.
She flicked her tongue over her lips and tried to steady her breathing. Was he leaving for good? Just when she’d decided that she would be willing to take him back again?
He studied her face, seemed to be able to read the questions that must have been reflected in her eyes. “I’ll be back. I promise.”
She moistened her lips again. “When?”
He rolled a hand through the air, seemingly unable to commit to a date. “I’m not sure yet. Sorry. Some things have come up with the show and I have to go down and do a little cleanup.”
She frowned. “What’s happened?”
A breath puffed from him. “A couple sponsors have heard that the show won’t be running next year, so they are threatening to back out for this year’s episodes too. I need to go down and smooth some ruffled feathers. See what I can do to get things back on track.”
She clutched at the pendant that hung on the chain around her neck. “Oh. I see.”
He tipped his chin down and kept his focus on her face. “You could call me while I’m gone.”
“Yeah. I could. Maybe I will.” But could she tell him what she needed to tell him over the phone? That was a conversation for face to face communication, wasn’t it?
“I’d like that.” He smiled. “My number hasn’t changed. Do you still have it?”
She nodded. “I do.”
“Alright. I’ll talk to you later then.” With that and a gentle squeeze of her hand, he disappeared up the stairs.
And Zaire had almost as much confusion spinning through her as she’d had the first time he’d left her to move to California.
CHAPTER 17
Zaire almost called Landon several times. But each time she picked up the phone and started to dial, she questioned if it was a good time.
During the day he would obviously be working. But then in the evenings, she worried that he might have taken a sponsor out to dinner and if she called she could be interrupting something important. Late at night she worried that he was probably already sleeping since he likely had to get up early to get to work the next day. Morning
s she worried that he was probably hurrying to get to a meeting and she didn’t want to distract him.
Finally, on Wednesday, she gave up in exasperation, realizing that she was just a plain old coward and that she didn’t want to tell him her news on the phone.
Besides, he’d had a whole life down in California. What if he got down there and realized that he really didn’t want to come back to Riversong, after all?
She felt her heart break a little at just the thought.
No. She couldn’t tell him her news until she knew for sure whether he was going to put their relationship first, or not. He’d told her he’d come home because he felt like God wanted him to renew their relationship. Well, if that was true, he’d be back, right? And if it wasn’t true, then she certainly didn’t want to complicate matters.
If she hadn’t jumped in with both feet yet, she might still be able to escape the tug of the current of pain that was sure to deluge her if he rejected her again. ‘Might’ being the key word.
She still hadn’t heard any word of when he might be coming back to town. She’d bumped into his mother in the Grocery and Gas the other day, but other than a kind greeting, the woman hadn’t made mention of his return.
Sitting at her desk, Zaire propped her forehead into her palm and released a loud groan.
She was supposed to be balancing her checkbook but the numbers didn’t seem to want to come into focus.
With a grunt, she flipped her QuickBooks application shut and pressed the button to turn off her monitor. She would try again tomorrow.
The rest of the week passed in much the same manner. Her trying to concentrate, and eventually giving up in exasperation.
And then finally on Friday evening, Salem called. “Guess who I just saw driving through town?”
Zaire’s pulse sky-rocketed. “He’s back?”
“He’s ba-a-ack!” Salem sang in a sing-song voice.
A rush of relief whooshed from Zaire. “Okay. I have to go. I need to text him before I lose my nerve.”
Salem chuckled. “I’ll be praying for you.”
“Thanks.” Zaire hung up and immediately pulled up Landon’s contact info, tapping on the texting option. Her thumbs practically flew over the screen. She typed and deleted and retyped so many messages that she was laughing like all get out when she finally settled on, Can we talk? She hit the Send icon before she could change her mind.
Landon stared at the text, pulse pounding in his ears, breathing stilted and labored. All week he’d been going stir-crazy trying not to think about Zai or the future too much. Each day he’d tried to reassure himself that she would finally call or text, and each night he’d fallen into his uncomfortable hotel bed, disappointed.
He’d been tempted to despair, almost to the point of questioning whether he should come home or not. The sponsors wanted another season, but Landon had stuck to his guns. This was what God had asked him to do. And he was going to listen this time and not be an idiot. So he’d explained, and schmoozed, and wined-and-dined until he felt confident that he’d stopped them all from pulling the rug out from under this last season.
His director had given him a ride back to the airport. “You sure you should be heading back to Washington? What if something else comes up?”
Landon clenched his fists. He was just going to have to trust God to take care of it. “I’m supposed to be in Washington, Connor. I know it’s hard to understand. But that’s really where I feel God is calling me to be right now.”
Conner had given him a funny look. “You’ve really gone all on for this God stuff, haven’t you?”
Landon smiled and clapped his friend on the shoulder. “Yeah, I guess I really have. Thanks for taking care of things down here for me.”
Connor had nodded and wished him a good flight.
And now three small words from Zaire had him imagining all sorts of scenarios that took his emotions from elation to the depths of discouragement and back again. Three small words.
Can we talk?
His hands shook as he texted back, Of course.
Just leaving the store. Home in 5. What time is good for you?
Landon pulled in a breath. This was really happening. After all the wondering and praying about the future, it seemed a bit surreal. I’m free. Anytime works.
Ok. Give me 15 min.? Meet me on the dock?
He glanced out his bedroom slider toward the dock behind her house. Evening sunrays filtered through treetops, leaving the dock mottled by sunlight. At one time, it had been their place to go to get away from all of life’s pressures. They’d take dinner out to the dock on a tray, and simply sit on the wooden pier, listening to the water splashing around them, the soft call of an eagle floating across the water, the gentle cooing and twittering of the smaller birds in the trees nearby.
If he’d thought his heartrate was high before, it was even more-so now. If she wanted to meet in their spot, surely she had good news for him, right? Or maybe she had chosen that place because she thought it might help to let him down easy? He gulped. Then remembered he hadn’t responded to her text yet. I’ll be there.
He flew through the shower, not bothering to shave. Though come to think of it, he hadn’t shaved all week. He eyed himself in the mirror and did a quick cleanup job around the edges of his stubble with one hand, while he blew his hair dry with the other. A quick application of sculpting gel to his hair, and he decided he would have to do. He pulled on a gray T-shirt and jeans, thrust his feet into his slides, and grabbed up his keys.
Jesus, You are my everything. Help me to remember that tonight, no matter what.
Zaire passed up Mom’s offer of a quick sandwich when she got home. “No, Mom. I’ll make something in a bit. I know you and Dad have a standing dinner date with the Samuelsons on Friday nights. You go. Enjoy yourselves. I’ll be fine.” There was no way she could swallow any food right now with the way anticipation was wreaking havoc on her stomach.
Mom already had her coat on and her purse sat on the hall table. She gripped Zai’s shoulders, apparently to ensure she had her full attention. “Don’t skip dinner. You’re thin enough to be blown away by a stiff wind, as it is.”
Zai smiled. “I promise I won’t skip dinner. Daddy and I ate a big lunch at the store. I’ll get something a little later.”
It was with a bit of nostalgia that she realized her parents were moving back to their own place in the morning. She’d feared she couldn’t handle two weeks with them, and now she was kind of dreading the fact that they would be leaving soon.
Daddy came down the stairs, still fussing with the collar he was folding down over his tie. “Ready, sweetie? We better hurry on our way and give Zai some peace and quiet and privacy on her Friday night.” He dropped a kiss on Mom’s cheek and offered Zai a conspiratorial wink. “You never know, she might have men pounding down her door this evening.”
If Mom noticed the exchange, she let it pass without comment, lips only slightly pursed in irritation
Zai folded her arms and gave him a narrow-eyed look. She wasn’t sure how he’d known that she would get a hold of Landon as soon as he got back, or even how he’d know Landon was back, but he obviously had.
“Yes. Yes.” Mom tugged a scarf around the collar of her coat. “Zaire, honey. We decided that we would go to Seattle tonight, so we’ll be home late.”
“Okay, Mom. Have fun.” The jitters were starting in earnest now. Was she really about to let Landon back into her life?
Mom hugged her and kissed her, all the while with Daddy prodding her to hurry in the background. “Alright, alright!” Mom finally acquiesced, lifting her purse and turning for the door. “You’d think that you hadn’t eaten for a month with all your impatience.”
Daddy tossed her another wink and pulled the front door shut behind them.
Zaire smiled. She could still hear Mom snipping at Daddy as they made their way down the front stairs. She hurried up to her room and quickly changed into a pair of shorts and a T-shirt.
Riversong was having what might be one of the last warm days of a beautiful Indian summer and she wanted to take full advantage of it. She ran a brush through her hair, and when she applied a fresh coat of mascara, she noticed that her hand was trembling.
Exasperated, she thrust the brush back into the bottle and tightened the seal.
She gave herself a final look in the mirror, and offered herself a little nod of encouragement. “You can do this.”
The slider in her room led to the deck, which had stairs leading down to the back of the house. Zaire soft footed her way across the lawn, relishing the feel of the green grass between her toes before she took the little cobbled path that led from the lawn to the near end of her dock.
He would be here any minute and she was all atremble with the knowledge of it.
Thankfully, she didn’t have to wait for him long. She had just sat down on the dock and wrapped her arms around her knees, when she heard the creak of the gate at the side of the house, indicating he was probably coming through from the front drive. She pressed her lips against one knee and rocked a little.
Jesus, am I really doing this? What am I going to do if he hurts me again?
But he’d come back, hadn’t he? She hadn’t even been sure he’d do that much.
The dock dipped a little beneath her and she looked up.
Landon stood at the far end, hands propped on his trim hips, eyeing her like he wasn’t quite certain he wanted to come any closer.
Her heart stuttered. What was that look? Had he changed his mind?
She studied him. He was wearing dark jeans and a gray T-shirt that accentuated the blue of his eyes. Eyes that were so soft and full of hope and yearning that she suddenly knew he hadn’t changed his mind. He was worried over why she had called him here.
She patted the dock beside her, and then wrapped her arms around her legs again and watched him come, feeling all the old feelings of love welling up inside her for this man that she’d once pledged herself to for life. His gait, though a bit hesitant, was as lithe and athletic as ever. His focus never left hers as he approached and sank down beside her.
Soft Kisses and Birdsong (Riversong Book 2) Page 16