by Harlem Dae
“My ‘dodgy deals’,” he said, mimicking my voice, “have given you a privileged life, Claudine. You have never wanted for anything since the moment you were born.”
“Want? Want? You don’t even understand the word. There are many things I have wanted but not had. Many, many things, starting with—”
A mother.
Sutton rested his hand on my shoulder. “Perhaps you should hear your father out.”
I pulled in a deep breath and swallowed the cruel words that sat on my tongue. They were bitter and sharp, and I grimaced and clenched my fists as the words sank inside me.
Father inclined his head at Sutton as though thanking him for intervening, which was a joke. Sutton’s interventions had only ever been successful by the skin of his teeth. But even still, I didn’t shrug or shake Sutton’s hand away. It was comforting, and comfort was something I needed right now.
“Where is Guille?” I asked, looking around.
“She is safe.”
“So everyone keeps telling me. Who is watching out for her?”
“One of my most trusted men.”
“I thought Sutton was your most trusted man.” I frowned.
“He is very reliable and quick-thinking so that is true.” Father stood, slowly, as though his back ached and he was tired. He walked around the pine desk and stood before me.
Sutton stepped away, and I missed his touch.
Father rested his fingertips on my throat. There were probably a string of bruises there from Rick’s manhandling.
“Did those bastards harm you?” he asked quietly.
“No.”
I looked up into his eyes. They flashed with concern, anger, and something else I couldn’t put my finger on. Relief at my negative answer, I presumed.
“Sutton came,” I managed. My chest tightened. The last thing I wanted to do was cry in front of Father. But my emotions were all over the shop lately. “Just in time.”
Father glanced over my shoulder. “I am very grateful.”
“Just following your instructions, sir.”
That made me bristle. So he didn’t care about saving my life. Preventing my brutal rape. I was simply a job and a pay packet. The threatening tears abated. Fury did that to me.
“And where are they now?” Father asked. “These vile creatures.”
“They are dead,” I answered quickly. “Sutton saw to that; in fact, it’s kind of a specialty of his.” I thought back to Linus and Marion, innocents who’d got in our way. And of Kolya, not directly Sutton’s fault, but still, he was on the list of dead.
“They deserved to die, those men,” Father said, running his hand up the column of my neck and cupping my jawline. “Scum of the earth.”
I couldn’t remember when he’d last touched me. Years ago, when I’d gone off the rails and got knocked up, he’d stopped even giving me a peck on the cheek at birthdays and Christmas.
“They may have deserved to die, but others didn’t,” I said.
“Collateral damage.” He pressed his lips together and shook his head. “You’ll forgive me for being protective of my only daughter.” He paused. “And I’m sure you’ll understand that.”
Protective? If he was so protective, what the hell was I even doing here? Why had all this even happened?
I decided not to say that to him. Instead, I said, “And you’ll understand that I’m concerned for my daughter. Sutton said she’s here. That her family are being relocated with protection. That Fabion what’s-his-name will never be able to find her.” I stepped back, forcing Father to drop his hand. That was enough of his weak display of affection. “Where is she?” I gestured around the room.
Father once again looked at Sutton. “This is what you said?” He held out his palms and frowned.
“I had to get her here somehow, sir.”
“What?” I turned to him, hanging my mouth wide in shock.
“I’m sorry, Claudine. But my orders were to bring you here,” Sutton said. “The school is under our surveillance now, so no harm done, and you, quite frankly, were entering into a bout of female histrionics.”
I gaped at him. “How fucking dare you. I do not have bouts of—”
“You hurled yourself off the side of the boat hoping to become shark supper during the one before last.”
Scowling, because I had no argument for that accusation, I spat the words, “Is there no limit to your lies? You’re a fucking bastard, Sutton. You knew I wanted to go to Guilia.” I rushed up to him, fists balled. “That was all I wanted.”
He didn’t budge as I banged his chest as hard as I could. I drummed over and over, the red heat of anger blistering through me. He was expressionless, and that made me madder.
I threw a punch at his face, intent on breaking his nose, seeing blood trickle from his nostrils to his mouth.
But he was quick and he grabbed both of my forearms. “Claudine.”
“I never should have trusted you, never should have…”
“Should never have what, Claudine?”
Fallen for you.
“You’re a lying snake. Just like everyone else.” I wriggled and writhed within his grip, but he was too strong and his hold vice-like. So I sagged my knees, dropping my body weight. He countered that by spinning me to the wall and ramming my back up against it.
“Stop this.” His nose was almost touching mine, his beard almost tickled my skin. “You’re behaving like a spoilt brat.”
“And whose fault is that?” God, he was beautiful when his eyes sparkled like that. When he allowed a crack to form in his steely self-control. What the hell would he be like to fuck?
I’ve waited long enough to find out.
He tipped a little closer and pressed into me with his body. The material on our jackets slid together, and I could feel the heat of his breath. I wanted him to kiss me, right here, right now, in front of Father. A crazy notion that it would act as a balm to my fractious nerves entered my head. Sutton could be my Band-Aid, a splint holding me together when all around everything was falling apart.
“Have you quite finished?” Father said, breaking the spell.
Sutton didn’t move; instead, he stared at me, a spark of passion seared over his eyes and a tendon jerking in his cheek.
He wanted to kiss me, too. The way he had in the ladies’ room at the hotel. A feral mating of mouths. And then we’d strip, fuck, do what had been on the cards since the day he’d started trailing me…
Suddenly he released me and stepped back. He pushed his hand through his hair and turned to face the door.
I was breathing heavily, my mind spinning as I rubbed my fingers and thumb tips together.
“Sit down, Claudine.” Father cupped my elbow and steered me to the chair he’d vacated. It was warm on my bum and legs. “I know this has been hard for you, and I never wanted your or your daughter to get involved.” He squatted so his face was level with mine.
“Guilia—you can say her name, you know. She has your blood. She is our family.”
“Guilia,” he said softly. “But she isn’t our family, Claudine. She has a new family who love her and are giving her a good life.” He paused. “She isn’t ours.”
I hated his words because of their truth. “But don’t you feel anything in here for her?” I pressed my hand over my sternum. “Are you really so dead in your heart, Father?”
“It is true part of my heart died when your mother left me,” he said.
“And we all know whose fault that was.” God, why were we bringing this up?
“I have never professed to be perfect.” He took my hand again.
I wanted to snatch it away, but something about the way his big fingers wrapped around mine prevented me from doing so. Age had swollen his knuckles a little, and his skin was creased with large dark freckles spreading near his wrist. My father was getting older, and I hadn’t even noticed.
“I have plenty of room in my heart for you, Claudine. You’re the best thing that ever happened to
me.”
I huffed. Now he was just being ridiculous. “You mean apart from your multi-billion-pound business in the illegal arms trade? A business that maims and kills?”
“That wasn’t something I set out to become involved in, but it happened.” He turned my hand over and appeared to study my palm. “And Guilia, she happened, too, and of course I care for her, love her. I would do anything to protect her. But she’s not in our destiny, Claudine, not in your destiny.” He ran the tip of his finger over my life line, following the curve across my palm. “She’s not here, not in your future.”
Damn, those pesky tears were back and pricking my eyeballs with mean little stabs.
“And however much you want her to be, that can’t happen,” he went on. “You signed her over to a new family, and whether she even knows she was adopted isn’t clear. You may love her but you could also destroy her.”
I looked up from our joined hands. He was studying me with such earnestness, watching how his softly spoken words were settling in my psyche. And they were settling, the way a heavy winter duvet would float down on a bed after being shaken. I’d always known the truth would land again—the truth that Guille wasn’t mine—but for a few hours, days, she’d become the centrifugal force in my life. All that had mattered.
I nodded slowly and allowed one tear to overspill.
He reached out, caught it on his thumb. “You have been so brave through all of this.”
“I don’t feel like I have.”
“You have. Many women, made of weaker stuff, wouldn’t have coped so admirably.”
“That’s strangely like saying you’re proud of me, Father.” Something he’d never said. In fact, this entire conversation was completely unique to anything we’d ever previously communicated
He inclined his head. “You should take it that way.”
I wanted to say thank you but I wasn’t quite there yet with those words.
“So when are they going?” I asked. “To start their new life?”
“Who?” Father frowned.
“Guilia and her parents.”
“Er…I’m not sure I follow what you’re asking.”
I shot a glare at Sutton, who was hovering by the door. “Was that a lie, too?”
“Not completely. I thought it might be a possibility.” He looked at my father and raised his eyebrows.
“Not necessary.” Father stood, once more uncurling his back at the speed old bones prefer. “Fabian will not be a problem again.”
“How can you be so sure?” My mind had filled with horror at the thought of Guilia staying here. She was such an easy target. Surely Father wasn’t serious.
“I am very near to a resolution with this whole situation.”
“Well, it didn’t bloody sound like a resolution earlier. And let’s face it, these dealings are hardly honourable. Who’s to say anyone will stick to anything they say?” I stood, a fresh wave of adrenaline making my legs jittery. “Land mines, child soldiers. They’re capable of anything.”
“You’re going to have to trust me on this one.” Father glanced at Sutton. “I have agreed to what they want for now and I am setting in motion a plan to extract myself, safely, from doing business with them.”
“I don’t think we can take that risk.” I held out my hands and shifted them as though they were scales. “The odds are too great.”
“It is me who decides the wager,” Father said.
“No, no it’s not. Not when Guilia is what could be lost at one pitch and toss.”
“I’m balancing the risk of uprooting her and her family against what it actually is, and now that those nasty pieces of work have bled out up at the lodge, Austria is a safe place for her. Fabian no longer has her on his radar.”
“But what about when he finds out we killed his men? Or if Jan and Rick passed on detailed information to Fabian about Guilia’s whereabouts?” I had to make him see sense.
“To make you feel better, I will leave my detail on Guilia for the foreseeable future. Unknown to her and her family, she will have a guardian angel in the shadows. Likely the most protected child in all the land.” He huffed. “But in truth, Fabian will not be concerned about his dead men. There are more where they came from that can be hired for the price of a good suit. All he is bothered about are that the mines and guns are on their way.” He rubbed his fingers over his forehead and frowned.
I paced to the wall and back. This whole situation was shitty, and I felt out of control yet again. As usual, it was all in the hands of Father. He held the strings, I was just a puppet. Hell, everyone around him was a puppet.
“I want to see her,” I said, “before I go back to Juniper Hall.”
“You’re not planning on continuing your travels? What about Blooms?”
“Oh, come on, that was just a ruse to get me out of the way, wasn’t it.”
“Yes, I’ll admit that. But I did think the whole project would suit you rather well. If you still want to continue with it, my support is there.”
“You should do it,” Sutton said. “Even I can tell you have a natural flare for flowers.”
“What?” I jabbed my hands on my hips. “Did you not hear what I said? I want to see Guilia—now.”
Father sighed, and I knew he’d ignored my request on purpose. “I can’t let you do that.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because I fear you won’t be able to stop yourself from speaking to her, telling her who you are.”
“Of course I won’t. I’m not some stupid seventeen-year-old who doesn’t understand consequences anymore. I know all about fucking consequences, thank you very much.”
“I will supervise,” Sutton said. “If you allow it to happen, sir.”
I threw a grateful glance his way. Though in truth, his support was the least he owed me.
Father creased his brow into one of the deepest frowns I’d ever seen. He glanced at his Rolex. “School will be out soon.” He paused, then, “From a distance, Claudine, only from a distance.” He gave a resigned shake of his head.
“Yes. From a distance is fine.”
“And I will organise the jet to return you to London later today and let the staff know to expect you.”
“Yes, okay.” Again I looked at Sutton. Did that mean we’d be saying goodbye in a few hours? It would be hard enough to have Guilia ripped from my life once more. But Sutton, too?
An image of Kolya seared through my brain. Losing people was becoming a habit. One I wanted to break.
Father sat and rested his hands on the table. He locked his fingers together.
“Are you coming home, too?” I asked.
“No. I have business to attend to.”
“More war business? Death and destruction business?” I couldn’t deny that my father’s dealings made me feel sick.
“I make money in many ways, Claudine.” He paused. “But I do feel it is time to part company with some traders.”
I thought about throwing a smart comment his way but held myself in check. He appeared weary with the whole thing. He didn’t seem larger than life anymore, the way he always had done to me. I wondered if he wanted to retire, if arms dealers could even do that.
“But I will try and come to Juniper Hall soon,” he said. “Perhaps we’ll eat dinner together.”
I walked up to him, stooped, and pressed a kiss to his temple. A meal together in our grand dining room that could seat eighteen people but for years had been unused, wasn’t a particularly appealing thought, but I couldn’t deny, seeing Father at home in his own surroundings and relaxing, was something he needed. And in turn, something I needed, too.
“But there’s one thing,” I said, and this was something I wouldn’t negotiate on.
“What?” he asked, looking up at me.
“When you get your annual updates, photographs of her, I want to see them.”
He hesitated for a moment, no doubt wondering how I knew about that, then, “It’s a deal.”
&nbs
p; Without speaking, I turned and hooked a finger in Sutton’s direction. “Come on, you. Seems you’ve volunteered to supervise me.”
And he also owed me a damn good fuck after all the crap he’d pulled.
Chapter Thirty-One
We parked up outside the school with around ten minutes to go before the children were set free. I was antsy, unable to sit still, and bounced one foot continuously.
“Will you stop that?” Sutton asked gently.
“I can’t.”
“All right.” He placed one hand on my thigh, the one that wasn’t bouncing, and stroked me with his thumb.
The movement had a good effect on my skittish nerves, and I let out a long breath and stared out of the passenger side window to watch other vehicles arriving. Some parents got out, mainly women, and made their way to the school gate then on through into the playground. They gathered, some in groups, some alone, and waited for the most important people in their lives to make an appearance.
A man got out of an SUV and strode towards the gate. Although he had his back to me, something about him was familiar. My stomach contracted, and my breaths became short. Where had I seen him before?
“I know him,” I said, wanting to warn Sutton in case the man was someone we needed to worry about.
“I know you do. Intimately, in fact.”
What?
“I do?” I leant forward to get a better eye full.
The man glanced over his shoulder and stared directly at us. He lifted one hand then resumed watching the playground.
“Linus?” I shrieked.
“One of your father’s right-hand men,” Sutton said. “He must be the one sent to watch Guilia this afternoon.”
“Pardon me for being un-PC, but he’s mute. How in the hell can he alert someone if she’s in danger?” I didn’t like the idea of Linus being the man to look out for Guilia at all. I’d speak to Father about that on the phone later.