He was also determined to listen to her. Listen to her words and her silences, her body language and her verbal language. He would learn her because, without that, there was nothing to teach him about her insecurities. He was nothing more than a repeat of the jerks she had experienced before and she would never tell him herself. They also needed some rules of engagement. But right now, he was going to wake his woman up because something had gone on here in the forty-five minutes that he was gone that he could not quite figure out. He had no doubt her insecurities were at the root of what he saw before him and he needed to knock down another piece of fencing keeping him from roaming free range in her heart. He also craved another taste of her brand of sweetness.
Reaching down to wake Shanna up with his mouth and hands, Shanna groaned in response, “Zane, what… Zane! What are you doing here?”
Zane’s response was to continue his assault on her now taunt nipples. One he eagerly and diligently sucked while teasing the other with his fingers and sporting a slight smile on his lips. It was when she began to stiffen that he lifted his head from his entertainment and looked at her with a suspicious eye.
“What do you mean, what am I doing here? Wasn’t I just here a few hours ago, shattering your world? I told you in the note I would be back after I got some important things done I couldn’t leave until later. You did read the note, right?”
Zane began to rise up and as he stared at Shanna, her demeanor went from anger and surprise to disbelief and confusion. That moment of Uh oh was apparent on her face. Zane had seen it before and it usually meant she was jumping to conclusions. For a decisive and put together woman in her professional career, she was sure confused and wary in her personal life. Again, he cursed that last man who took her trust and love and stomped it publicly. Standing up to his full height that added that little extra intimidation and control he needed at the moment, Zane assumed his no nonsense voice. What did she think had happened? Did she think he had left as in, wham, bam, thank you, ma’am? His hands crossed his arms the best he could with his work defined muscles and repeated his question, knowing the answer already.
“Shanna, you did read the note I left, right?”
Sheepishly looking up at Zane only to quickly lower her eyes, she mumbled, “N-no. W-What, note?”
His frustration was evident as Zane sat down and gathered up his assumes-first-and-asks-questions-later woman and sighed.
“Were you crying? And let me advise you before you answer, that the evidence is on your face.”
“Maybe.” Shanna snuggled into Zane’s comforting shoulder muffling her answer.
He shifted so he could lift her chin to see her face and look into her eyes. Her emotions were easily read, but he needed words right now.
Zane was stern in his response. “Do you know what I think, sunshine? I think you saw me gone, got mad, stomped around, and then started crying. I don’t figure you looked around or considered calling me to find out where I was. You basically assumed I was gone for good without any thought to what I had said to you, done to you and with you last night and this morning. How am I doing so far?”
Shanna shrugged her shoulders.
“Mmm hmm. So you didn’t trust me enough to think I might have been out doing something and would be back. You were too mad or bratty or something to call me. Am I right?”
“Yes,” Shanna’s answer came out in a breathless whisper of sound and when she would have lowered her head in shame, Zane would not allow it.
“You stormed around this place instead of calling to see. That is bratting and not happening on my watch. That’s ten, sunshine.”
“What? Ten what…oh, but I don’t want you to spank me. I’m still sore.”
“Hmm, guess you should have thought about that when you jumped to those conclusions and didn’t even have the common decency to call me and ask. You assumed the worst of me and I have proven in the time we have known each other that I am a man of integrity. If you were the one gone, I would have not panicked. I would have gotten my coffee and called you. That is what you should have done, because if you had, you would have seen the note standing up on the counter. And, you are not sore because I made it so good for you, brat.”
“So, you actually did leave me a note?”
“Mmm hmm. I actually did leave you a note because I didn’t want you to wonder where I was.” Zane’s tone had changed to that of dealing with an errant child.
“Well, how was I to know that?”
Zane looked extremely frustrated and irritated rubbing his hand on his thigh as a nervous reaction to that frustration. His hand itched something fierce.
“Look? And even if I had not left a note, haven’t I earned your trust? My god woman, I asked you to marry me. I declared my love for you and you for me. Did you think I would treat you so badly as to do that with the only desire to get into your bed? If all I wanted were to get in your bed, I could have done that without the rest, months ago.”
“You’ve earned it, I just don’t know how to give it,” Shanna answered with tears in her eyes. “I might never be able to give it. You should probably run while you can.”
“And that, my love is ten more. That is a cop-out. I told you I loved you. Running was an option before I declared to you, but not after. I would not have said it if I did not mean it. Now, anything else you think you need to say before I warm up your bottom to restart your day?”
“You mean other than I think you are mean and spanking is medieval and…”
“And you want more than what is coming? Because I can guarantee the way this sass is going, you will get another ten to reward your mouth for its uninhibited commentary. Anything else to say, because I don’t think twenty sounds near enough at this point anyway.”
“No, sir.”
Zane raised his eyebrow at the sir tag knowing how hard that was for her to say. He decided he would assume she was falling back on the cultural expectation not being smart mouthed. He even allowed a few seconds of thinking she might mean it as submitting to his authority. He also knew he still had a long row to hoe on that one.
Zane sat down and toed off his boots before scooting to sit against the headboard. He looked up and patted his straightened thighs for her to lie over.
One final beseeching look before Shanna nodded her head, allowing Zane to unzip her shorts and drawing them down her feminine legs before she crawled over his lap. Zane could not contain his deep audible breath at the thought that this beautiful bottom was his to caress, cuddle, love, and spank. Already feeling the swell of his sidekick, he rubbed and kneaded Shanna’s bottom to get the blood circulating before he started on his first round.
“Trust is too big of a deal between us for you to not practice it and have it every minute of every day. I have been worthy of your faith and earned that privilege and you will respect me by giving me your trust. Do you hear me? Nevertheless, this is about tantrum throwing and not calling. It is about respect.”
Sniffling and screeching her response between his firm and centered swats, Zane continued.
“And if you want to know something from me, you will not jump to conclusions. You will call me or find me to ask. Until you get a response from me, you will not assume the worst. Do you get me, Shanna?”
“Yes!” she yelled. “You are smacking me too hard, it hurts.”
“Good, because you hurt me with your reactions this morning and it hurts our relationship when you try to build up walls of doubt.”
Stopping to rub in the last strokes, he continued, “All right, sunshine, these are the last. You need to know that we are forever now. Nothing you do will get me out of your life, so doubting our relationship will only get you an irritated man and a warm bottom like you are experiencing right now.”
Moving lower down for added effect, he concentrated on her upper thigh that merged into the crease of her buttock. He loved the sweet spot for attention. She would remember this for a good portion of the day. She yelled her protest for the insulted a
rea. He smiled for the good effect.
Zane finished the last promised ten and then spread her legs to give her several hard and fast on her inner thighs that he had not touched during the prior swats.
“Ow, Ow! Hey! What are those for?”
“For ruining my breakfast. Now I have to reheat it and it won’t taste the same. Now get up and let’s not have this conversation again, hear me?”
“Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, sir.”
“That’s better. I don’t need it from you usually, but when I am warming your sweet ass, I think that it is more respectful. You wouldn’t be getting a butt warming if you had been respectful in the first place. Let’s get you packaged back up and warming our breakfast.”
“But I can take care of the need you are showing,” offered Shanna looking suggestively and hungrily at Zane’s noticeable bulge.
“Nope, we are not having sex after tattooing your butt. Now later, that is another story entirely. I will look for your loving then. Now get up and stow the pout.” Zane patted her bottom for incentive and reminder. He had waited a few seconds before he scooted off the bed, putting his boots on and sweeping up the bed linen he then deposited in the washer while Shanna warmed up breakfast.
The next weekend found them in the same state as last. Shanna had her bottom warmed for throwing a brush at Zane in anger and he used it on her bottom to settle the argument and cleanse the air. Shanna then went to make breakfast and Zane threw a load of their laundry, as he was staying most evenings with Shanna, in the washer. He had brought a little each night so that he had backup clothing.
Looking up from setting the plates down on the breakfast bar Shanna usually ate at, she said, “I could have done that, Zane. That’s my job.”
“What do you mean your job? I know how to wash, hon.”
Shanna shrugged, “I mean it is what I should be doing, not you.”
“Hmm. You mean as in ‘a woman’s’ job? Shanna, I don’t think there are many jobs that are exclusively a woman’s to handle. You of all people know there is little in this world that only one gender can do. Except for bearing and nursing my children, which is solely your territories and even that might change with crazy, modern science. And, of course, dealing with my sidekick here, which is all you. Being the head of the house when it is needed is my territory. You handle your patients getting the best medical care. I handle the equestrian farm, the ranch business, our family and you. You are accountable for your actions and reactions, but I will take care of you and you will let me which includes a little attitude adjustment when needed, plenty of loving or doing laundry.”
“Well, I mean you are so old-fashioned. I guess I expected to have to be that old-fashioned woman or at least play at it.”
“Shanna, when are you getting it through your head that I love you because you are who you are every day? Yes, we are going to butt heads, and I am going to push hard for you to give me lead, but chores and the like are just that. There is no hidden or unexpressed need to go caveman. I think you have to have figured out that while I might have some old-fashioned ideas, I am not the 1950’s husband looking for that same type woman. I would not have given you more than a glance once I heard you were a nurse practitioner if I needed you barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen. Although, when that does occur, I will be pleased for the time it is happening.” Zane wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Shanna threw her napkin at him, laughing. “Well, we have to agree on when that scenario will happen because accidents are not acceptable.”
“We would never be pregnant and it be considered an accident, darlin’. If and when you are pregnant, it will be planned because I plan to get you pregnant as soon as you say you are ready and before if you wait too long.” Zane firmed his lips and briefly hardened his look in sinister non-verbal conversation.
Shanna laughed again and wiggled in her seat only to gingerly replace her bottom, rubbing the surrounding assaulted flesh. Zane laughed then and told her to eat because they had things to do, beginning with going to her parents’ home. He thought it about time that he talked to them about his plans. He wanted to make sure someone else wasn’t doing the telling, which would not only surprise, would but hurt them as well. He wanted to start things off on the right foot with his soon to be in-laws. He hoped they had not waited too long. Six days to have kept the news under wraps might be a record for their area and he couldn’t wait any longer. Zane and Shanna had told his parents last night and asked them to wait until they got over to the Parkers’ today.
On the drive over, Zane began talking dates and Shanna ignored the opportunities he kept offering her to add her piece. Still afraid of the outcome, she did not want to hurry things along, but her cowboy seemed awfully anxious to connect their set of dots. Seeing that Zane was pushing harder for some conversation in that way, Shanna changed the subject.
“So where are we going to live? You have already said my apartment is too small and I had kind of thought we would get a place and settle on it to stay. I don’t mind moving, but I really loved my childhood in one house and all the memories I had. I know you have some land, but did you expect to live on it someday?”
“Perfect opening to that notebook between our seats, reach down and grab it, will you? Open it. Now do you see the sketching I’ve done? Okay, now tell me what you think.”
“I think you should have been an architect.”
Shanna looked at the incredible detail and half listened to Zane’s voice drone on as she began to panic over the reality of the commitment she had just made. It was real and forever, just as Zane had said, but could she do real and forever?
Having spent several hours and lunch with her parents, the couple left to go back to Shanna’s with a stopover to look at the land that they had been discussing putting a house on.
“See, this is where we are going to enter the property.” Shanna listened as Zane began to animate over his dream for them, finding herself caught up in the excitement.
“How long will it take, Zane?”
“Everything or the house?”
“The house. Everything will take forever.” Zane, not missing the acceptance of the concept of forever, addressed the house for now.
“I’d say about three months given the time of the year.”
“Then I’ll marry you when we can move into our house.”
“You got it, sunshine, three months it is. I’ll get things up and running in the morning.”
Zane could not have been happier. He knew he would be finished by the deadline. He also knew he could now box her in enough to make her secure and keep her sufficiently free to keep down her panic. Plans were flying through his head faster than he could catch the thoughts.
Shanna, on the other side of the truck, thought that there was no way that he could be done building the house in three months. She was safe in saying her deadline would be when it was ready to move in. It satisfied Zane and gave her more time. She could feel the panic setting in.
Chapter Twelve
Maybe it was because she had been run off her feet lately. Maybe it was the fact that Zane was more than a little chipper about having started the foundation work. She didn’t know, but snippy was her middle name this week. It did not help that when she did speak to Zane, she almost bit his head off because he was so energized. Shanna decided to go over to the café to talk to Missy after she told a pharmacist on the phone that he should have chosen a new profession. He had just called for clarification. No, she needed to get a handle on things and on the fact that Zane was indeed getting the job done on schedule. The panic rose up in her like bile and she almost could not handle the fear that she tasted whenever the subject came up. She was glad she could not smell her own fear or the world would be covered in a purple haze.
Zane could feel the fear in her when he came home at night. She even offered for him to stay on the ranch because it was a hassle for him to get up at the butt-crack of dawn, as she put it.
After he energetically paddled her butt at the crack of dawn for once again suggesting he sleep elsewhere, she didn’t think it was such a cute saying anymore. She stopped telling him he would be happier staying anywhere but her place. Zane would have smiled if he were not beginning to worry about Shanna’s state of mind over this commitment issue.
As Shanna sat drinking her coffee and eating a big slice of mudpie, she moved over so Missy could sit after she was off shift, pushing the dessert and her fork over to share. Missy accepted the offer, savoring the delicious chocolate and mocha flavor.
“You need to get right home?”
“Nah, I don’t have a place to go. Colton left for a cattle auction and won’t be back until tomorrow. So long as I have my trusty cell phone so he can find me, I’m good.”
“Missy, how long have you and Colton been married?”
“Five years. We waited a year after high school because Colton wanted to get some money built up before he asked me to marry him. Then we waited another year while he built our house. Why?”
“No reason, just that you know that Zane asked me to marry him, right?”
“Honey, I don’t think there is a woman married or unmarried this side of Dallas that doesn’t know that. Those of us that are already taken, sigh and smile. But those of us who aren’t have their eyes on you looking to scratch them out and still hope Zane will come to his senses and tell them it was just a sick joke. And I have got to say until you get a ring on that man’s finger there is still open season on him.” Both women laughed.
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