“You two have so much in common. We’ll have a great time, I’m sure of it,” Alice said, beaming at the two of them as they stood in the hallway.
Rose hesitated. As flattering as it all was, she was going to have to tread carefully. She’d never give a guy the impression she was interested when she wasn’t, but judging from Blue’s lack of enthusiasm, that didn’t seem to be a concern. “It’ll be fun. But I’m not sure we have that much in common.”
“Sure you do,” Alice said. Aurora came through the doorway pushing a little toy vacuum, dark brown curls bouncing with every step, her gaze focused intently on the carpet. “He’s a lawyer, graduated from Duke, and volunteers with substance abuse programs in the schools, just like you.”
Lawyer. Rose froze mid-sway, her hands going numb around little Emily Jane. But of course Alice would know all about her former profession. She’d left her advanced degrees and previous employment off the resume but Paul, the owner of the biggest software company in the country, would have no trouble uncovering her past, no matter how many names Rose used. Shame flashed through her, making her face burn.
“You volunteer with at-risk youth?” Blue asked. He also seemed to have tuned out whatever else Alice had said. Or maybe he hadn’t thought the lawyer part applied to her.
“I just… helped out at some school functions.” Was it volunteer if it was court ordered community service? Giving presentations at school assemblies was easy. Standing next to the crumpled vehicle they towed in was hard. A flash went through her mind of the twisted metal and the torn seats. The guilt she felt as she stood up to tell her story, in high school after high school, had nearly brought her to her knees every time.
Rose forced back the memories, trying to stay in the conversation.
Blue went on. “You haven’t met Charlie yet, but she works downstairs. Her boyfriend, Austin Becket, works down at the juvenile justice center as a counselor. And his older brother Gideon volunteers as a mentor. They’re always looking for more, especially women. There’s usually a shortage of women willing to mentor the girls just released from detention.”
Rose started to say she really wasn’t a good candidate for that, but Blue kept going, his eyes bright with interest. “Fr. Tom and the Isle Brevelle Altar Society put on a gumbo feed every fall that benefits the juvenile justice center. Oh, Fr. Tom is Austin and Gideon’s brother.”
She felt her stomach drop. That was all she needed. A priest, a mentor for parolees, and a professional counselor. It would be the trifecta of psychological inquisitors with a big dose of guilt thrown in for good measure. “I may not have a lot of free time.”
“Sure you will,” Alice said. “This isn’t a twenty four hour a day position. Plus, you have weekends free.”
“Well, I have hobbies,” Rose said, grasping at anything to prove her point, but as soon as she said the words, she regretted them. She didn’t really have anything, not like painting or playing the piano. Or whatever Blue did. Her eyes dropped to the hand that held his cell phone. The tips of his thumb and forefinger definitely carried the traces of ink.
“You read, I assume,” Blue said. He seemed to be trying to help her out. “You never said what you like to read.”
“Oh, everything.” Rose should have expected the question but was caught flat-footed. She didn’t want to say what she liked to read. Most people found her tastes creepy. She opened her mouth to say Nora Roberts or Nicholas Sparks. It would be such a small lie.
Alice and Blue stood there expectantly, waiting for her to elaborate. Aurora vacuumed the carpet.
“Um, old or new?” Rose asked, stalling.
“New,” Blue said.
“Old,” Alice responded at the same time.
Rose laughed a little. “Oh, well, I like Edgar Allan Poe.”
“Favorite poem?” Blue asked.
She shot him a look. He was probably testing her to see if she was just throwing out names from her high school English class, even though she’d already proven herself more than able to impress Alice. “The Raven, of course. It’s all over right now. You can even get it printed on a pair of fingerless gloves to inspire your writing. So adorbs,” she said.
“That’s actually my favorite of his. Are you suggesting I’m too trendy to have good taste?” He smirked. “Who else?”
“Frederick Maryat. And Mary Shelley.” They were both nodding. Rose searched through her memory for something safe, something normal. “Bram Stoker.”
As soon as she said the name, she felt her face go warm. A potential nanny might be forgiven for reading Poe poetry, the gothic tale of a lost ship and Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. None of those were that scary. But Bram Stoker’s Dracula was a dead give-away that her tastes didn’t run toward chick lit.
“And newer authors?” Blue asked. Something in his expression had changed.
Rose shifted little Emily Jane and narrowed her eyes at Blue. He knew exactly what he was doing. He didn’t want a new neighbor and he was going to do his best to make sure she didn’t get the job. As much as she longed to rattle off a list of fluffy romance titles, a promise was a promise. No more lies.
“John Avjide Lindqvist,” she said, hoping the name was too obscure.
Blue’s lips turned up and Alice seemed to suppress a grimace.
Of course they knew who he was. Rose sighed. “Joe Hill, Mark Danielewski, Ransom Riggs, et cetera.”
“Et cetera?” Blue said, grinning now.
Rose wanted to roll her eyes at him. So she liked scary books. A place like this probably didn’t carry any that kind of fiction because it wasn’t considered real literature, but after the last four years, she couldn’t stand reading about someone’s gloriously happy ending, and certainly couldn’t wade through a gushy romance.
“I read the Danielewski one. House of Leaves, right? Where the inside of the house is bigger than the outside? Scared me to pieces.” Alice scanned the long hallway. Windows at either end made the space bright and sunny. All seemed well but Alice shivered. “I couldn’t sleep for a week. I’m glad you have the constitution for it but I really don’t.”
“I’m surprised you read it,” Rose said.
“Why?” Alice asked. “Someone told me it was good. I have a short list of things I don’t want in my books but a suspenseful story isn’t one of them.”
Blue hadn’t really said anything yet. He was staring at her, as if he wasn’t sure whether to laugh or frown. “Anything else?”
Rose sighed. “Old poetry.”
His eyes narrowed, as if she thought she was just saying that to please Alice. But it was true. Strange, but true. Horror and old poetry. That’s the kind of girl she was, and always had been. As much as her life had changed through the years, her reading habits had settled somewhere around age twelve and never wavered.
“And since you’re probably going to ask which poets, I’ll tell you that it changes, by the day, by the season, by my mood. Right now, I’m all about Tennyson. Now you should probably get to work before they send out a search party.” She tried not to sound snippy but his expression was irritating. He seemed so amused.
“We should go explore the apartment,” Alice said. She didn’t seem too put off by her reading tastes. Maybe the fact Rose might be hanging out in the poetry section had swung in her favor.
Blue turned for the stairs. “You’re right. And I’ll see you at dinner tomorrow, Rose, if I don’t see you before then.”
Rose watched him go down the stairs, her anger fading away. Maybe she’d misunderstood his expression. Maybe he was just a nice guy who didn’t have an ulterior motive for asking those questions. It didn’t explain his reluctance to share the upstairs area, especially since he’d already been sharing it with some very loud part-time neighbors. Surely she couldn’t be as loud as Elizabeth, who by the sound of it, was coming up the other stairwell.
Turning, she saw Paul at the other end of the hallway, little girl in his arms. He gave a half-shrug and a grin. “We’re joining th
e party,” he called over the crying.
Alice laughed and went to meet him, Aurora following with her little vacuum. Rose watched the little family and her heart gave a sudden squeeze in her chest. Emily Jane was so small and warm in her arms. Rose knew that she shouldn’t take the job because she was lonely. That’s not what it was all about. She needed the money and a place to live, now that her sister didn’t need her to nanny anymore. She should take the job because she could care for these children with patience and love.
But as firmly as she told herself this, Rose couldn’t help the yearning for Alice and Paul would hire her just so she could be part of this place and these people. They were like night and day from the mess Rose had created. She didn’t feel the sorrow and the guilt as strongly here. There was no judgement in their eyes. Alice and Paul clearly knew her past, but for some reason, she wasn’t sure why, it didn’t affect their opinion of her.
“Let’s show you around,” Paul said, and waved her inside. Rose walked into the apartment barely seeing the bright, sunlit space. Her heart was pounding, part of her still holding on to the walls she’d built, afraid to step onto a new path. The other part was already rushing forward, arms outstretched to the promise of a new life free from reminders. She turned in a slow circle, taking in the built-in shelves packed with books, the carved oak fireplace, the stained glass in the long windows.
“There are cameras in the living room and the nursery, where the changing table and the full sized cribs are.” Paul pointed them out one by one. They were small, discreet. “We can access them remotely from downstairs and over in my building.” He held up his phone. “We can even watch from our phones. Or, I can, since Alice refuses to get a smart phone.”
Alice took Elizabeth and sat down in an old rocker to nurse her. “Why do I need one when you have one?” she said sweetly. “I think one smartphone is quite enough for a family.”
“When the girls are at home with us, you can turn off the cameras here.” He held up a little panel and then replaced it on the bookshelf. “I know it’s odd not having much privacy during the day but Alice or I will be around most of the time anyway. And really, I can’t think of a time I’ve sat down to watch unless I was missing the kids. We won’t have someone manning the cameras all day.” He seemed like he really did grasp the fact that being on camera all day wasn’t an attractive one.
“I understand,” Rose said. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”
Paul visibly relaxed. “Alice and I argued quite a while over this. I’m glad it’s not a deal breaker.”
“Discussed. Not argued,” Alice said sweetly. “Go ahead and look around. There are two bedrooms, kitchen, bathroom.”
Peering into the kitchen, Rose started to smile. It was like looking at something from a vintage TimeLife magazine spread. She peeked out the window and saw the parking lot down below. Two men stood near the entrance to the bookstore. Rose frowned, watching them. They weren’t speaking, not even facing each other. They seemed to be waiting for someone.
“A lot of people think it sounds great on paper,” Paul said, coming in behind her. “Once they get here, they realize the fridge is from nineteen fifty, the bathroom sink is twelve inches wide, and the pantry is bigger than the closets. They usually take one look in the kitchen, see that old farmhouse sink and no dishwasher, and run away.”
Rose nodded. She knew exactly what type of person that was, since she’d been one for the last ten years. Looking back, she had no idea why she’d needed a dishwasher since she’d eaten every meal out, or ordered in. She walked down the hallway, peering into the bedrooms. One was filled with cribs and a toddler bed. The other had quilt covered bed on a cast iron frame, shelves of books, a small desk in the corner. Rose didn’t think she’d seen a more inviting room in her life.
Her gaze flicked toward the crucifix on the wall, and then away. She was starting to wonder if Alice and Paul were very religious. Not that it really mattered. That wouldn’t be a problem. She’d spent every Sunday at church when she was young. She might not be comfortable when people went on and on about their religion, but she could certainly handle a cross in her living room. As long as they didn’t have a problem with her lack of religion, she wouldn’t have a problem with their need to have one.
“You can’t be serious. That old place? It’s a dump!”
“Historic. The term you’re searching for is historic.”
“A total dump. You can’t live there. Everyone will think you’re poor.”
“Richard, I am poor. I’ve got law school loans bigger than most mortgages.”
“Eat ramen noodles every meal. Or toast and butter. Do whatever it takes to get one of those converted lofts downtown. We have to fake it ‘till we make it.”
Rose stood at the window and looked out at the river passing down below. “What do you think, sweet pea?” she whispered to the baby in her arms. “Do you think it’s a good idea?”
Emily Jane didn’t respond, just kept breathing in and out, soft puffs of air through parted, perfect lips. Rose bent and pressed a soft kiss to the down of her little head. “If you say so,” she whispered. “I trust your opinion.”
There was a soft sound behind her and she turned to see Paul in the doorway. He looked like he couldn’t decide whether to smile, or apologize for intruding. She’d expected to be nervous around Paul, or at least have to deal with that subtle kind of superiority complex that very wealthy people carried around, but he was as kind as Alice had been. Kind and almost shy. There was a time in Rose’s life where she would have assessed that kindness, labeled it as weakness, and exploited it for all it was worth.
“It’s kind of small but when the zydeco festival is on you don’t even have to leave your room to enjoy the bands, all the way to one or two in the morning,” he said.
“Good thing I like zydeco music, then,” she said, laughing. She nodded at the shelves. “Are these your books?”
“No, these are Alice’s. She lived in this apartment when we met. I rented the other side with my business partner, Andy. You’ll meet him, probably in the next day or so. He’s Aurora’s godfather. He lives a few streets over with his brother, Mark, but he just left for a few days. It’s funny. Even though we all have our own places, we always seem to end up here, at the bookstore. Old habits, I guess.” He shrugged, his slight smile saying she better prepare for lots of people popping in and out.
She hadn’t met Andy, but her brother in law talked about him. Funniest guy he’d ever met, he said. Somehow Andy’s sense of humor had led to conversations about her twin nephews, and Rose caring for them, and how Rose’s sister was going to stay home with the boys, and the fact that Paul and Alice needed a nanny. It was all sort of complicated and she hoped that important facts hadn’t gotten lost in all the socializing. She cleared her throat.
Paul held up a hand. “This is probably overwhelming for you. Take your time.”
“It’s just that you seem so sure that I’m the right person for the job.” Rose didn’t mention Alice’s ideas about fixing her up with her handsome neighbor. That would have to be addressed, but not now.
He smiled. “You’ve got a great recommendation. Not many people can handle twin newborns and enjoy it.”
Rose paused, struggling with that part of her that always wanted to erase the truth. “But you know what I left off my resume.”
“Yes.”
There wasn’t any rule about declaring every degree, but working as a nanny with too many letters after your name definitely prompted questions. “I mean, why I left it off.”
“Yes.”
“It doesn’t concern you?”
“Should it?” He wasn’t being funny. Paul looked her in the eye and waited for her to say that she’d learned from her mistakes, that his children would be safe with her.
“No, but I have to tell you, there are people who wouldn’t pass up the chance to…” She didn’t know which violent act to describe. She’d stopped opening her hate mail long ag
o. “Punch me in the face. And if someone recognized me, and your children are with me, they could be exposed to that.”
She waited, hardly breathing, painfully aware of the softness of Emily Jane in her arms.
Paul nodded, sadness in his eyes. “Rose, I know what it’s like to be too famous for my own good, how it feels to be targeted. There’s more security here than you might realize. I’ve worked hard to make this a place where my kids can grow up without fear.”
She dropped her gaze. She couldn’t blame him. No father wanted a notorious criminal strolling around town with his babies.
“I want you to know that this is a safe place. For us, for you, for strangers who walk through the doors downstairs. This community has its problems, we have crime like anybody else, but at the end of the day, we all pull together.”
He was offering her sanctuary. She hadn’t expected that, and to her horror, she felt her eyes fill with tears.
“If you decide to take the job, we’ll try our best to make sure you’re as protected as possible.”
“But… why?” She could barely squeeze out the words.
He considered that. “A lot of reasons. But mainly because I believe in grace and forgiveness.”
She turned away from him, desperately trying to compose herself.
He didn’t say anything for a few moments. “I’m headed back to the office. Alice is out in the living room with Aurora. Come on out when you’re ready.” She heard him walk toward the door. “And it was nice meeting you, Rose.”
She wanted to respond but could only nod. His footsteps faded down the hallway and she heard the low murmur of voices in the living room. The sound of the front door closing was the punctuation to their conversation.
Rose wiped tears from her eyes with one hand and tried to take deep breaths. In the four years since the accident, she’d never had a stranger offer her anything like it. Paul hadn’t asked her for proof that she’d changed, or how she meant to make it up to the victims, as if there was a way. He didn’t want to know the details, or if she knew exactly the moment everything had gone wrong, or how she’d felt when she got the call. He and Alice simply offered forgiveness, welcome, and shelter.
Along the Cane River: Books 1-5 in the Inspirational Cane River Romance Series Page 103