by Cari Quinn
“Max,” Noah growled. “What did we just talk about?”
Oh right, they were supposed to ease her into the idea. Except now it was out there—“I’m serious, Hayley. Move in with us. Neither of us want this to be a one-time deal. I love you, and Noah does too.”
“I do,” Noah agreed.
“I’d drive you crazy. Besides, you’ve got a lot going on right now, Max.”
“If you’re worried I’ll decide I’m straight up gay and not attracted to women anymore, that’s not going to happen.” Not a chance in hell. He knew it, deep in his bones. If she walked out, he might never find another woman good enough, but his attraction to her would never die. “I know it’s unconventional, but we both love you, Hayley. This way you can live your fantasy every day, and you will be the center of our world. I promise.”
“You mean, have a permanent threesome?”
Shit, she couldn’t see it. Didn’t want it. They were going to lose her after all.
“Or we rent this place out and we find somewhere we can all agree on.”
“But—“
“You matter to me, Hayley. You matter to us both. We don’t want this to be a one-and-done.”
She blinked rapidly, damning the prickly heat threatening to spill down her cheeks. “You both matter to me too.”
He cupped her jaw, his touch feather-light. “We both went into this knowing that you might like one of us better than the other, and we both worried you’d like the other one. This is the best of both worlds.”
“Is it? As much as I love you, I don’t want to be the cause of problems for you with your family.”
“Are you kidding? They’ll love you.”
“I’ve seen your mother’s shrine in her living room. You can’t tell me she would be happy to learn her son is living that way.”
Shrine was a little excessive. It was a single porcelain statue of the Virgin Mary. Still, it obviously worried her. “You’ve met Jackie and Sangita.” He hadn’t been asleep when she’d been checking out his photos and knew she’d focused on their wedding photo. “Do you think Mom loves Jackie any less because she’s gay? Or blames Sangita because Jackie fell in love with her? Yeah, the three of us living together might make them blink a couple times but they already like you, and they love Noah.” He leaned his forehead against hers. “And more importantly they love me, so they’ll accept anything that makes me happy. And you, Hayley O’Connell, make me very, very happy.”
“You say that now, but mothers get protective of their sons. It might be one thing to say it’s fine when a neighbor’s kid lives an unconventional lifestyle but you? They’ll blame me for leading you astray.”
“They’ll blame me,” Noah corrected. “Having your son living with a woman is a lot less objectionable to having your son doin’ it with another guy to most people.”
Max huffed in frustration. “They won’t blame anyone, damn it. Here, I’ll prove it.” He pulled out his phone, dialed his parents and turned on the speaker so Hayley and Noah could hear too. The moment his mother answered, he said, “Hey, Ma, I’ve got a quick question for you. Hypothetically, what would you and dad do if I told you I’m going to be living with both Noah and Hayley?”
“Max!” Hayley covered her face with her hands.
“Do you mean you’re renting her a room or is she moving in with you like a girlfriend?” his mother asked cautiously.
“I mean that she’d be moving in and dating both me and Noah. At the same time.” He heaved in a breath and met Noah’s gaze. “And Noah and I would be dating too.”
He held his breath. Shit, his parents were basically the only family Noah had now. If he’d misjudged them, he might have just destroyed that relationship.
“Are you...What...What are you telling me, Max? Are you trying to tell us you’re gay, honey? ”
“I’m asking what you would do if hypothetically Hayley, Noah and I lived together. In every sense of the word. Would you ban us from your house?”
His mother huffed. “Don’t be silly. We didn’t ban Jackie and Sangita, why would we ban you? You’re our son, we love you.”
“What about Noah? Would he still be allowed to come over? Or Hayley?”
“Max? What’s going on? This isn’t hypothetical, is it?”
“I’m just trying to prove a point, Ma.” Or maybe he was trying to convince himself he wouldn’t lose his family.
“Uh huh.” Her skepticism came through loud and clear. “Max, I will always love you.”
There was a click as the extension was picked up and his father’s voice boomed over the line. “Your mother and I don’t care if you’re sleeping with the Maple Leafs, son, as long as you stay safe and are happy. Now what’s going on? Are you coming out, Maxie? Because if you are, you know your mother and I will love you no matter what. Same as we love your sisters.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
“Are you finally coming out, Max?” his mother asked, “because you don’t have to worry we’re going to disown you or anything. We’ve had our suspicions you might be gay, or at least bi, since you were in high school.”
Holy fuck. He collapsed on the bar stool. They’d seen it even before him?
“Noah’s a nice boy,” his father continued, oblivious. “We’ve always thought he was good for you. And you’re good for him too.”
“And I suppose if you and Noah want to share a woman, especially a nice girl like Hayley, who are we to judge?”
He pressed his thumbs against his eyes to stem the tears that threatened to spill. “Thanks, Mom. Dad. That’s all I needed to know.”
“Oh, and Max? You’re still coming over for dinner on Tuesday like we discussed, right?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“Good. Make sure you bring Noah and Hayley with you then.”
The connection ended and the phone returned to the home screen. Which was probably good because he couldn’t stop staring at it.
Why hadn’t he realized his parents would see through him? How can they have suspected he loved Noah for that long and not said anything? Not clued him in? He dismissed his question. It didn’t matter. Not anymore. He cleared his throat, and croaked, “See, they don’t have a problem with it.”
“You really think a permanent threesome is the answer? You can’t be serious.”
“We’re deadly serious. It’s not something I’d joke about.”
She buried her face in her hands for a moment. “I keep waiting for one of you to break down in laughter and yell “gotcha!” Except you’re not going to, are you?”
“No. It’s no joke to me. I love you. I want you in my life permanently. And my family would be—”
She held up her hand to stop him. “Max, you said hypothetically. How else were they supposed to respond?”
“In my experience ‘get out of my house and don’t ever darken the doorstep again’ is the usual response,” Noah muttered.
Max started, wheeling to gape at Noah. “I thought you said your father kicked you out because you didn’t want to work for him.”
“He did. It was Patricia—wife number four—who used the ‘get out of my house’ line when she discovered me with a guy in my room. To his credit, Chuck didn’t agree with her, and told her it was his house and he was the only person who could ban people, especially his son. He told her having a gay son lent him a certain cachet that he could cash in with the LGBT community. There was some screaming and plate throwing, and then it came out he was diddling some new woman and suddenly it didn’t matter that I slept with guys anymore.”
Noah faced her. “As for the Moretti’s, Hayley, they’ve known I was bi from the very first time I met them. They are one of the most open, accepting, loving families I have had the privilege to meet.” He caught Hayley’s hand. “Max is right. We both love you. We don’t want you to feel you’re a second choice to either of us.”
“But you love each other...I don’t want to come between you.”
“You wouldn’t. You fit in rig
ht between us perfectly earlier.”
“That was different.”
“No. It isn’t.” He brushed her hair off her face, letting his fingers linger on the tender skin over her ear. “If you have kids, would you love one less than the other? Of course not. It’s the same here. I am perfectly capable of loving both you and Max at the same time. The same with Max being able to love us both. The question is...do you have room enough for the two of us?”
“I’ve gone on precisely one date with you each. It’s too soon.”
“I could argue the one date comment.”
She pointed at Max. “Jack and Jill party last week,” swung her finger to him. “Wedding reception yesterday. One date each. And maybe you could count the last couple nights as a date each too. But that’s all. I—I—you know what? I can’t think about this right now. I have to leave.”
She bolted from the kitchen, and snatched up her purse from where she’d left it on the stairs.
“Hayley, wait up, I’ll drive you home.” Max chased after her when she ran out the front door. “You don’t have your car, remember?”
She turned and held up a hand, holding him at bay. “I’ll grab a taxi out on Queen. Look, I appreciate the offer but I need time to think about all this, okay?”
“But—” Max stopped only when Noah caught him by the arm.
“Let her go, Max. She’s right, she needs to process everything. If we push her too hard now, we’ll lose her.”
Except Max was pretty sure, they’d already lost her.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
One month later
“What are you waiting for?” Amelia’s penciled-on eyebrows arched almost to her hairline. “Find them and tell them yes already.”
Hayley sat at the dining room table in the now-finished house in Leslieville, swirling the extra-large pumpkin spice latte she’d picked up in preparation for today’s Open House. “It’s complicated.”
She’d seen Max and Noah precisely twice since she’d run from Max’s house. Once when she’d accidentally run into them right here as they finished up the last of the painting—she’d said hi and high-tailed it out of the house, claiming to be late for a dentist’s appointment, and the second time had been two days ago at the Habitat Restore location out in Scarborough as they’d loaded a corner tub into Max’s truck. She’d seen them, but they hadn’t seen her.
“Honey, all relationships are complicated. But you’ve got two guys—two really burning hot sex-on-legs guys—willing to make you the center of their universe. So again, what are you waiting for?”
She leaned forward and lowered her voice, even though they were the only people in the house. “They want me to be part of a permanent threesome, Amelia. It’s not something I can just go jumping into without thinking about it first.”
“Gee, let me think about this.” Amelia’s black fingernails sparkled as she tapped them against her coffee cup.
Almost every body part on the stager sparkled, from the piercings in her eyebrow and nose, as well as almost a dozen up each ear, to the bangles halfway up her forearms, to the multiple rings on her toes. Her black hair was buzzed up one side and long on the other. She wore a worn Tegan and Sara T-shirt that hung over her usual black yoga pants. Like her eclectic fashion sense, she favored an eclectic decorating style too, choosing comfort over fashion. She and Hayley had butted heads a few times when Hayley vetoed some of her choices in staging her houses. This latest conversation was just one of many they’d had over the last month.
“Two totally hunky guys who are two of the nicest guys I’ve ever met,” Amelia continued, “four hands, two cocks—and I’m betting they’re both pretty hung, am I right?—their focus totally on you and your problem is...what?”
Where did she even start, aside from the fact Max and Noah were also into each other, not just her. Not that she’d revealed that particular fact to anyone else. “Okay, you want to know what I’m worried about? What about my house? I love my house. I’ve got it set up just the way I want. Max’s house is perfect, and my stuff would just clutter his place. And then there’s the Moretti’s—I know Max says they’d be okay with it, but they’d always look at me as the woman who...I can’t do that to him. His family is everything to him. Besides I’ve been on precisely one date each with them.” After placing her coffee back on the table, she ticked each point off on her fingers. “The first one with Max was the Jack and Jill party, and the wedding reception with Noah.”
“Don’t forget the twenty-four hours you were naked and bumping uglies with them,” Amelia added. “I’d say that counts for at least ten dates.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I. You’ve been pining for them the entire month. Moping about, checking your phone and then getting upset that they haven’t messaged you, and how many times have you driven past Max’s house?”
Okay, so she may be bordering on stalker territory.
Amelia wagged a finger at Hayley. “You miss them, and don’t deny it, chickie. The only one who has a problem here is you.”
She couldn’t deny any of it. The last four weeks had been the loneliest since she’d moved to Toronto.
“And by the way, you’ve been on more than a single date each with them. Hell, you’ve practically been dating them for two years.”
“What are you talking about?” That’s what Darrell had said too. What had she missed?
“I’m talking about the barbecues at the Moretti’s out in Scarborough. The nights you’ve spent binge-watching Flashpoint and Murdoch Mysteries and then there are the movies you dragged Noah to at TIFF the last couple years, and the number of times you’ve grabbed dinner and eaten with them both. Even take-out food counts, you know.”
“We were working on the project houses and were on deadline.”
“It still counts. You didn’t have to eat dinner with them. But you did. And what about that time you said you went with them to the Taste of the Danforth and Max stopped at every booth to try every type of food? Or the night you guys escaped the crowds at Nuit Blanche? And when Sophie emailed that photo of Darrell on the Jumbotron, who did you call? It sure as hell wasn’t me or any of your girlfriends. You called them.”
“I wanted a guy’s point-of-view.”
“No, honey, you trust them more than your best friends.” She reached across and squeezed Hayley’s wrist. “Open your eyes and see what’s right in front of you. They love you, and you love them. Even if it only lasts a year or two. You’re getting a chance at love that some people never get their whole lives. Don’t throw it away because you’re scared.”
“I’m not scared.”
“Yeah. You are, hon. All these excuses? That’s all they are. A smoke screen. Admit you had the best weekend of your life when you were with them.”
“I did but—”
“Stop with the excuses already. If you think you need to date them more then date them some more. As for your house, you can always sell it, or better yet rent it. That way you have somewhere to move to if things don’t work out, and in the meantime you’d be making more than you’re paying on the mortgage.
“Hiding away from them isn’t going to help you decide. And yes, I saw how you cowered behind that big-assed F-150 at the Restore. I also saw how you looked at them—you are completely in love with them. All you’re doing right now is hurting all three of you. So stop futzing around, and make a decision already. Don’t leave them waiting on you to make up your mind. That’s just cruel. To all of you.”
Hayley considered Amelia’s arguments the rest of the afternoon. A dozen couples were waiting on the front step when she opened the door and started the Open House. By the end of the afternoon, she’d collected dozens of cards from realtors, a sheet filled with names and contact information from the hopeful visitors that she could contact about future houses, and best of all had a two potential offers coming in later that night.
She locked up the house, and headed home. Only to find herself turning east on Queen St
reet instead of west toward the Don Valley Parkway. Her hands shaking, she turned off the ignition once she’d parked on the street in front of the beautiful old Victorian. Two huge urns of rust-colored chrysanthemums flanked the front door, several large pumpkins had been placed on each step, in honor of this weekend’s Thanksgiving celebrations.
The front door opened and both Max and Noah walked onto the porch as she approached. Both men had circles beneath their eyes, and Max looked like he’d lost weight.
Amelia was right. She was hurting them.
She clutched her purse to her chest and climbed out of her car. “Hi. Can we talk?”
EPILOGUE
One year later
There was no traffic – car or foot —in the center of the tiny village north of Toronto at four a.m. on Christmas Eve. The massive spruce lit up the street, its red bows adorning the lower branches—tied only as high as the locals could reach.
His breath mingling with the light fog rising from the snow, Max grinned as he pulled Hayley and Noah along the sidewalk. “It’s just up here.”
Life with Max and Noah had never been boring, Hayley had discovered when she’d moved in with them on Thanksgiving weekend the year before. She’d always known Max was a glass half-full type of guy, but she hadn’t realized until she lived with him his unbounded joyfulness, his almost child-like curiosity and playfulness. Noah was his balance, who kept him from flying away chasing his latest whim. Noah kept her in balance too. While they’d initially had some issues with each other’s boundaries, their unusual lifestyle hadn’t presented as many problems as she’d expected.
Max’s family were as good as he’d promised, accepting their living arrangements with a casual aplomb. Her family—well, at least they lived far enough away that it wasn’t an issue on a daily basis. Her mother hadn’t issued her usual invitations for holiday dinners and when Hayley phoned every week, she’d know they’d answer, though her father stuttered to silence when Hayley mentioned either Max or Noah. But their door hadn’t completely closed, so Hayley had hope that one day they’d accept her choice.