“Damn it, Mandy. He is broken. Knox is my brother and I love him, but he is damaged.”
Inexplicably, she found herself smiling. “Just like me.” Her smile fell, and she shook her head before adding, “Better a broken man than someone who breaks me.”
Rhys snorted. “Then you’re an idiot because I would have given you everything. But you’ll end up with nothing because Knox won’t be happy until he’s dead. You can’t fix him.”
A burst of anger shot through her. “He’s a hell of a lot stronger than you give him credit for.”
The smirk on Rhys’ face made her hand itch to slap him. “Where do you think he is right now?”
“He has a fight scheduled,” she answered immediately, and his smug look slipped a bit before falling back into place. She knew Rhys thought Knox would not have told her.
“Why didn’t he take you with him, then?”
Mandy rolled her eyes. “Some of us have to work for a living, Rhys. I can’t spend my nights on the town and roll into my place of business at the crack of dawn, half-asleep.”
“And that’s another conversation we will be having soon as well, since you should be in school. For now, though, I want to know if he offered to take you with him.”
“No,” she admitted before adding, “nor did I ask him to, and my education is none of your business. Knox knows how important this new job is to me. He wouldn’t do anything to risk it.”
“New job?” Rhys repeated, sounding dumbfounded.
“Yes, Rhys. New job. I swear. You never, ever know what’s going on.”
“Oh. I know that shit is right. Just like I didn’t know you were pregnant with my baby.”
If he thought to catch her unawares by hoping Knox had not confessed to telling him about the baby, then he was mistaken. She would never give him the satisfaction, even if he possessed the ability. “Why are you so convinced he’s hiding something from me?”
“Because he doesn’t want this.”
Anger over his low blow caused her to eye to twitch. “It sure felt to me like he wanted everything we’ve done.”
Rhys growled at her open taunt. “Not you. There is not a man in his right mind who wouldn’t want you. I meant this,” he said, throwing his arms wide. “He doesn’t want life in general. It is—I don’t know, lacking or some shit. He will not stop what he is doing until he is dead, and I’m having a hard fucking time accepting what I’m seeing with my own damn eyes. He won’t quit even for you.”
“I didn’t ask him to, Rhys. I didn’t fall in love with what I thought I could make him into.” The declaration hung in the air between them. Rhys looked as if she’d punched him in the gut, but she wouldn’t take it back. “I love Knox because of who he already is. Broken. Hard. I love it all.”
The loud chirp of his phone interrupted her rant. “Fuck!” Rhys swore as he ripped the phone from his pocket. “This is not the goddamn time.” His face went pale. “What? When?” The look on his face scared the hell out of her.
Without offering a goodbye, Rhys crammed the phone back into his pocket. “Let’s go,” he said snagging her arm and dragging her along in his wake.
“Wait. What’s going on? I don’t have any shoes on and my hair is wet.”
With a frustrated curse, Rhys turned on her. “Get your shoes on and get in the fucking truck, Mandy. A cement rig sideswiped Knox’s truck not even two miles from here. If we leave now, we might beat the ambulance to the hospital.”
The room spun but nothing could have gotten her feet moving faster.
Chapter Six
A silent truce fell between the three of them during the four days they sat at Knox’s bedside. Unfortunately, the more time passed without Knox waking up, the angrier Rhys became. The left side of Knox’s body was a mess of bruising, open cuts and scratches. Miraculously, he’d somehow managed to avoid any broken bones. It didn’t matter. With the steering wheel pushed against his chest cutting off the oxygen to his brain, Knox had fallen into a comatose state they didn’t know if he’d recover from. The swelling had receded but Knox’s condition had not improved.
In harsh contrast to Knox’s battered state, Dane appeared healthier than ever, if not a bit subdued even for him. He’d gained some of his weight back. The sharp cheekbones, which Rhys had grown accustomed to seeing in the past year, were almost gone. His blond hair had also regained some life. He turned a book over several times between his hands. Rhys had given up trying to see the title over an hour ago.
Switching his attention to Mandy, he spent a few minutes watching her. She looked tired. With her forehead resting on her crossed arms on the bed at Knox’s hip, she almost appeared to be sleeping. He knew better. She hadn’t slept a wink since they’d gotten the news. None of them had. For some reason, one he could not explain, the knowledge pissed him off even more. It would be just like Knox to bail when they needed him the most.
“I told you you’d get hurt,” he lashed out before he could stop himself. She answered without opening her eyes, proving he had been right about her not sleeping.
“No. I’m not.”
He snorted. “So, you won’t shed a single tear when he dies?”
At his question, Dane stood and left the room. Mandy finally lifted her chin to look at him. “He won’t die.”
His throat swelled at the conviction in her blue eyes. Pain had forced him to say the words hoping to hurt her, but he needed her reassurance. “How do you know?” His question came out sounding as ravaged as he felt.
Mandy brushed her fingers over Knox’s scarred knuckles. “Because he promised I would never hurt again, and I trust him.”
“Realized something.” The sound of Knox’s voice startled Rhys and his eyes shot to his brother’s face. Knox’s were still closed, but Mandy covered her mouth as if holding back sobs. The move proved he had not been hearing things.
Mandy brushed a tear away before asking, “What did you realize, baby?”
“Don’t want to die.”
“Oh sweetie. I knew that.”
He didn’t say anything else, and Mandy dropped her chin to her arm on the bed, but she kept her face turned toward Knox. His eyes still didn’t open, but he moved his hand until it rested against her cheek. “Was joke. Supposed to laugh,” he slurred after a minute.
Mandy’s breathing shuddered. “I’m laughing on the inside.”
“Don’t cry,” Knox whispered, sounding tired. “Love you. Would never leave you.” A noise almost like a hiccup escaped Mandy. “I love you too much to let you go.” Rhys stood. “I’ll find a nurse or something,” he offered. At his offer, Knox turned his head in his direction. “My brother is here?” One green eye peeked open before falling closed again. “Looks like shit.”
Rhys snorted at the assessment. “Yeah, well, you’re not looking too swift yourself, buddy.”
“Dane?”
“I’m here,” Dane said from the doorway, startling Rhys with his reappearance. “You good?”
At Knox’s question, Dane’s mouth turned up in one corner. “Yeah. I’m solid.”
“Good,” Knox said, his tone a bit stronger than before. “Touch Mandy again and I will kill you.”
Even half-dead, Rhys didn’t doubt the truth in Knox’s promise, but Dane’s smile grew. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”
“Love you guys,” Knox said raggedly. “Now go away. You’re tired and Mandy is crying.”
Dane straightened away from the doorframe. “Sure, man. Call if you need anything and I’ll be around.” Without waiting for a response, he ducked back out of the room. Rhys knew he should go as well, but he couldn’t force his feet to move. In a short few minutes, Knox had gone from a four-day coma to lecturing them and scooting over in his bed to make room for Mandy. “I need to hold you.” The desperate note behind Knox’s statement had Mandy climbing into his arms. As soon as she settled against Knox’s side, his breathing became steadier. “I’m having your shit moved to my house,” he whispered against her h
air. “I cannot stand a single moment of being without you.”
The way he held Mandy and spoke to her was private. There was an intimacy between them Rhys wasn’t meant to play witness to, but he couldn’t look away. Rhys’ eyes stung. He had done everything wrong while the brother he’d always thought of as irredeemable had sat by, quietly loving her. Rhys didn’t deserve her.
Moving silently from the room, Rhys made it as far as the wall outside the door before his legs wouldn’t carry him any farther. With his back pressed against the cool plaster, he sank to the floor. Space and time, those were the things he’d given Mandy in the hopes she would find her way back to him. At least, he’d told himself as much. It was a lie, of course. Feeding on self-deception to get through the day had become almost second nature. Truth meant acceptance. Acceptance meant a thousand complications he wasn’t prepared to face.
Shying away from the dark pathways in his mind, Rhys turned his head to watch Dane sitting against the opposite wall a few doors down. He’d become so lost to his own demons, he had not realized Dane was there or that he wasn’t alone. Kerry sat at his side with her legs crossed and feet tucked beneath her thighs. A huge bouquet of flowers rested on the floor beside her and she flipped through the pages of Dane’s book. With their heads close together, the pair laughed at something inside. Comprehension descended upon Rhys. He was the one with the walls. Knox and Dane weren’t the ones who were broken. He was. In spite of all the pain, they still let people in. Rhys didn’t.
As if feeling his stare, they both looked his way at the same time. Dane eyed him carefully, making Rhys wonder what he saw. Kerry’s laughter immediately fled at the sight of him. A few quiet words passed between the pair and Dane rose to his feet before helping Kerry to hers. She brushed the dust from the seat of her dark jeans before sweeping the flowers from the floor. Dane attempted to play the gentleman by relieving her of the burden, but she waved his hands away. Rhys almost laughed at her inability to let a man do anything for her. No doubt she owned a collection of vibrators in different shapes and sizes, serving every purpose, including allowing her complete control.
Rhys didn’t trouble himself to stand when they moved to his side. Tilting his chin back, he met her green eyes without bothering to hide his animosity. “I see you’ve met my brother Dane.” Even he was taken by surprise by the dislike in his voice. As far as he was aware, he’d never openly hated anyone. It seemed Kerry was the exception.
If she was bothered by the fact in any way, she didn’t show it. “Oh, I’ve known Dane for a while. Him, I like,” she added, and if he wasn’t mistaken a glimmer of defiance lit her gaze. Dane released a low chuckle. It was obvious his brother thought she was joking, and Kerry dared Rhys with her eyes to call her on it. Challenge accepted.
“I am beyond curious as to why you hated me on sight? Most people find me a complete delight.” Rhys added a wink, intent on goading her. When her spine stiffened, he knew he’d hit his mark. Dane looked back and forth between them as if working out a puzzle, but Rhys kept his concentration locked on Kerry. She made him forget what he’d lost. Mandy. Damn, he’d lost everything. Her methodology was rage invoking, but it worked.
“Most people have never gotten a good look at a certain five-page-long bill.” The air left his lungs. She knew. She’d always known. Some of what he was feeling must have shown in his expression. For the first time ever in his presence, she shifted nervously. A roar buzzed in his ears, but it still couldn’t shut out the sound of her voice when she spoke again. “The guys at Grid Iron sent me over to deliver these to Mandy.” She nodded at the bouquet in her hands. “They figure Knox would laugh at flowers but Mandy could use the cheering up.” She was rambling. Another first. Her jaw visibly tightened, making Rhys wonder if she’d come to the same conclusion. His chest burned and fire licked at the back of his throat. Unable to stand anything more, he dropped his gaze to the tile floor.
He couldn’t think of a single thing to say. It didn’t matter anyhow. She would never understand. The baby Mandy lost was his loss as well. Kerry ground out a curse before sighing heavily. “I’ve changed my mind. Dane, do you mind taking these flowers inside?”
As soon as they were alone, Kerry sank to her knees in front of him and sat back on her heels. She waited until he met her stare before speaking again. “Air, food and water,” she said, causing his brow to furrow in confusion. When he didn’t ask what she meant, she sighed again. “Those are the three things people require to survive,” she explained. “If you have those, you can get up every morning and continue existing. People need love and acceptance to thrive. The thing is, you also have to be willing to love and accept others.” She glanced away but it was too late. He’d seen a flash of pain inside her before she’d hidden it from him. Every word she said was the truth, but he couldn’t understand why she said them at all. “For what it’s worth, I don’t really think you’re an empty shell,” she added, taking him by surprise.
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I don’t hate you. I don’t even know you, but I do know Knox. I’ve known him for several years. He is completely incapable of charming his way into anyone’s life. He’s socially inept. All he’s ever done is exist. Then one day he introduced me to this beautiful broken woman, and for the first time ever, I witnessed a miracle. I saw him thrive. It was immediately apparent she didn’t see the merciless man the rest of the world does when they look at Knox, and the way he watches her…” She shook her head as if she couldn’t explain it. “It’s almost enough to restore someone’s faith. Not mine, of course, but truly what they have is a rare light in an otherwise ugly world.”
The combination of no sleep and watching his dreams slip away left Rhys in a numb haze. It was the only explanation he could conjure for his complete inability to comprehend the point in her reasoning. “I guess I’m especially dense today because I still don’t get why you’re telling me this.”
Kerry shrugged helplessly. “You have it all,” she explained, sounding exasperated. “You’re charming, sexy and no doubt you’re nice to the elderly. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn you can cause women to orgasm without ever touching them. I mean really. It’s not fair.” He tried hard not to smirk, but the temptation was too much. He was fairly certain she would hit him. Thankfully, she only rolled her eyes before adding, “I’m not complimenting you. You must have made Mandy’s life hell, because you do not love her, and she totally deserves someone who does.”
He sort of wished she had hit him. It would have hurt less. “I do too.” Even to his ears, he sounded childish, but he did love Mandy.
Kerry looked angry again. “Please. Spare me. You fuck every woman you see with your eyes. Men who are in love don’t do that.”
“Ha!” Rhys shouted before she could say another word. “You obviously don’t know shit about men. Even if they’re married to the world’s sexiest supermodel they still look at every other woman.”
“Maybe so, but they don’t roll out the welcome mat with their gaze,” she shot back. There’s a difference between looking and—” She broke off and growled. “Never mind. One of these days, you’ll meet someone and you’ll realize you never loved Mandy. If you loved her, I mean really loved her—not just felt as if she’s a friend you couldn’t live without—you would have staked your claim and refused to budge. You would have fought to the death to keep her and killed Knox for even thinking of touching her. You sure as hell would have been there when she needed you the most.” She ran a shaking hand through her hair and stood. He wanted to scream at her and deny every word she said, but he couldn’t think of a single argument. Why hadn’t he done those things? “Look, I have shit to do today and I didn’t come here to fight with you. Have a nice life.” Without a backward glance, she sailed inside Knox’s room, leaving Rhys to his anger and with no outlet in sight. Unable to stand another moment inside his own skin, he went in search of the nearest exit. Maybe one day he’d agree with everything Kerry said, but to
day wasn’t that day.
* * * * *
The hospital released Knox after only one night of observation and a barrage of tests. Mandy could have sworn she heard a cheer erupt as they pulled out of the parking lot. She’d never seen a worse patient. Two hours after he’d awaken, she’d given up trying to smooth things over with the nurses. She recognized the futility of her actions the moment Knox dared them to attempt to stop him from walking out of the building if they made her leave the room for any reason.
Staying true to his word of moving her in with him, all her things were transferred to his house before the end of the night. Kerry proved her efficiency by handling everything, including finding someone to sublet her apartment. The moment Knox walked through the door of what was now their home, his whole body seemed to relax as he stared at the sight of her things alongside his. A sheepish smile touched his lips. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Being me,” he answered with a shrug.
Not until that moment did she realize he’d been trapped behind his walls with so many people around. She no longer lived on the outside of his cold shell and couldn’t see what other people did. The knowledge made her eyes sting.
“You’re perfect as you are. Never be sorry.”
Tossing aside the bag she’d packed for him but he wouldn’t let her carry, Knox shrugged off his coat and kicked off his shoes. Mandy kept one eye locked on him while doing the same. She kept expecting him to disappear. The second she finished hanging her coat up, he snagged the back of her neck and lowered his mouth to hers. At the first brush of his soft lips, her heart squeezed in her chest. She’d been so close to losing him. The fear she’d stamped down came rushing to the surface and she could barely breathe. Her throat swelled. The desire to climb him like a tree and refuse to allow him out of her sight again crippled her. She didn’t know where to put her hands.
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