“Come to me, Annelise. Let me taste your mouth.” Jacob’s breath was cool, like the sigh of air from an opened tomb.
My belly spasmed with horror and repulsion, and I gagged, but that only made Jacob hold me tighter.
Oh no no no.
“No kissing,” I screeched, sounding like a child. But I didn’t care. I would not bond with this thing.
Instead of getting angry, he laughed; the sound was low and possessive. “I see you’re not ready yet. I will make you ready.” He ducked back down to my neck and went in for more.
My eyes gaped wide open as he sucked harder than before. Gut-panic overwhelmed me. I couldn’t let a bond happen. But I was trapped. He was taking too much, too fast, holding me too tight. I couldn’t reach my blade. I couldn’t even move.
I shoved at him, trying to create the slightest bit of distance between us. But the more I pushed, the harder those nails curled into me, like talons driving into my flesh.
Sometimes, when Carden fed, a fuzzy, dazed feeling would overcome me. It was always slow to dawn, ebbing and flowing, lapping at me like a summer wave, beckoning me deeper. It’d been soothing, like heat rolling through my veins.
But not now. Now, dizziness hit me, smacking me upside the head and propelling my mind into a slow chuck-chuck-chuck spin.
I gritted my teeth to fight the wooziness. I refused to pass out. I was too afraid of where I might wake up.
But I couldn’t help it, my mind began to recede. I struggled to remember where I was, what I was about.
My blade. I was here to use it. To kill Jacob.
And he was as distracted as he’d ever be. I had to get to the misericordia, no matter what. I couldn’t forget why I was demeaning myself like this. It was to save my mother. Help my friends. Be more than what I’d been these past years. To make my life mean something before it was inevitably taken from me.
As though I might actually be enjoying this, I moaned and turned into him. It allowed me a good angle from which I could let my arm slide from my chair. I strained to reach my boot, but it was no good. He still held me too tightly.
I made another small sound in my throat and angled more, pressing my body into him. He didn’t fight me this time. I was able to shift a little, and the movement made his teeth tug at my neck, tearing my skin.
I pretended my pain didn’t exist. That was one valuable trick the vampires had taught me.
My fingers splayed, reaching. They brushed the top of my boot. I needed to snag it before I blacked out. Surely he’d slow down soon, maybe pull back enough for me to reach.
But Jacob wasn’t stopping, and a dark fog began to spread over my mind. As the blood left my body, warmth went with it. My brain felt cool. My hands and feet prickled with cold, then my limbs. I flexed my feet, hoping desperately to work some blood back into my extremities.
Panic spiraled through me. I needed to maintain control. Stay aware. I needed to get this done—now.
Jacob finally pulled away, whispering, “Now are you ready?”
He wanted that kiss. And I wanted my blade. Let’s see who wanted what more.
“Sure,” I managed to say.
Jacob was kissing his way up my neck to my jaw, and something about his zeal suddenly struck me as absurd. It cleared my head. I coughed to buy myself a second’s more time.
It was like I’d broken a trance, because then another cough came from across the table, and it gave me pause. Someone coughing wasn’t so strange—the girls had been making tiny noises, coughing and whimpering, since this feeding had begun. But there’d been something odd about this cough.
This one had come from a male throat.
It happened again, and I froze, trying to interpret the unexpectedness of it. I was on alert now, my senses flung out to the room.
Then another vampire cleared his throat, coming from my left this time. But this time, Jacob froze, too, his eyes dancing around the table in confusion.
Vampires were pulling away from their victims. They’d all begun to cough. Then to gag and retch.
As though a light was switched, all the girls’ eyes snapped to life. Bright, female gazes swept the room.
They were awake. I wasn’t alone.
Clara, the older Watcher, caught my eye. She cocked a brow, looking like some sort of wicked pirate queen.
My body fizzed to life, giddy with possibility. My hand went to my boot, to my blade. I wasn’t alone, and we would take these bastards down.
Game on.
Kenzie shouted, “Now.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
I was amazed, which meant I was distracted. I didn’t see the hand that swung out to grab my throat.
The other vampires looked poisoned, but not Jacob. He looked pissed.
“Is this your trick?” His fingers dug in, and I felt the tiny bones of my throat bend. He was crushing my windpipe.
My feet scrambled beneath my chair, trying to get purchase, but I couldn’t propel myself to standing. I couldn’t get away.
I was weak from blood loss. It was making me act stupid. Because instinctively, I began to claw at his hands. But in my mind, I knew: in this case, instinct was wrong. There was no pulling away from a pair of strong hands determined to choke the life from me.
Dimly from behind me, I heard a clatter. Several female voices cheering. I wasn’t alone, I reminded myself. Every Acari in this room was fighting, and it was my turn.
I stopped struggling. Stopped trying to breathe, even. I refused to let panic kill me. My rational mind clicked to life.
I let go of Jacob’s arms. I’d lasted longer than this without breath, and so for this moment, I would let him try to strangle me. I bent my knee instead, trying to grab hold of my heel, but it slipped from my hand.
Black spots began to blip in my vision, and I forced my heart to slow. I had no use for adrenaline right now. Calm, I repeated in my head. Be calm.
I tried again, kicking my heel back hard. This time, I managed to grab hold. My fingers grazed the hilt. Got purchase. I slid the misericordia from my boot, and a different sort of adrenaline burst through my veins. It was exhilaration.
I would’ve sworn the blade hummed as it hit the air. The metal was warm, nestling in my palm with a pulse of power.
Jacob had gone to the edge of his chair, angled toward me, his complete focus on me. He thought he was choking me.
I met his eyes, held them. There was a flicker of confusion in his as he saw the smile curl my lips.
I swung my arm up and around, and I brought the blade toward us, slamming it into his back. His eyes went wide as he collapsed into me.
I’d missed his heart, but it was okay. I was only getting started.
I pulled out the misericordia and shoved him away. Rage thrummed through me until I was electric with it, lit from within as I flew to my feet. I stood over him and swung the blade in a shimmering arc. It sang as it cut through the air.
Time froze as I saw the moment he realized which blade I wielded. Just as he’d pounced on me before, I pounced on him. Heaving all my weight behind the misericordia, I thrust it into his heart. I roared as I struck, wishing I could kill him a thousand times.
Like oil hitting a scalding hot skillet, blood spattered up at me, his flesh smoking and sizzling. Jacob’s mouth yawned wide, and the sound that erupted from him was inhuman, an ear-piercing squeal, both bellowing and shrill. Now he was the one clawing at my wrists, but I held the blade firm.
“Like it?” my injured throat was hoarse, but still I managed to mimic that same creepy, loverly tone of voice he’d used earlier. “You said you wanted to get closer.” His body sizzled as the handle of the blade grew scalding hot. But I held fast, twisting until smoke billowed from his wound. “This is how girls of ‘my era’ do things.”
His body bucked and shuddered, and I hopped back, avoiding him as he toppled from the chair, hitting the ground.
Dead.
I stood there for a second, panting, heart thudding. My vision wa
s still warped and dimmed around the edges. I’d lost a lot of blood. Probably the only reason I was still standing was the months I’d spent bonded to Carden.
Grunting and the wet sound of impaled flesh made me tune into the violence that had erupted around me. I looked to see where I could help, but the fight between Acari and Vampire was already slowing.
The vampires had been impaired by their feeding, but they were a tenacious bunch, and it took several strikes to fell a single one. But the reanimated girls were fierce and magnificent, and they’d triumphed.
Bye-bye, old world order.
It struck me what a ragtag bunch this was, young Acari battling alongside older Guidons and one Watcher.
Life on the Isle of Night was all conflict and rivalry. So how had a bunch of random Acari organized and masterminded this? More than merely disabling the vampires, these girls had arrived armed with hidden weapons. The moment a stake was lost, another would appear in hand.
A dreadful feeling took root in the back of my mind. An unthinkable thought.
I watched the fighting as though through the ponderous click of a camera shutter. When someone lost a weapon, she’d just pop an elbow to release a carved wooden stake hidden up her sleeve.
Crude stakes hidden along forearms—it was signature Ronan.
Was he a part of this? Had he been the force to unite this ragtag warrior crew?
I looked around, and my eyes landed on Regina. Grinning broadly, she gave me a little wave, and it was all so surreal. Because despite the fact that I needed to be thinking about Sonja, about my mother, a single thought had barreled to the forefront of my mind. It’d taken hold and wouldn’t let go.
Ronan.
Was I right? Was he behind this? Had I wrongly doubted him, then sent him to an uncertain fate?
A hand grasped my ankle. I staggered but kept my footing.
A vampire was still alive at my feet.
“Bastard.” I kicked at him. “I am so done with all of you.”
I dropped to my knees, misericordia poised in my hand. I was all too happy to have a chance to use it again. It was bastards like this who’d taken my mother from me in the first place. Who’d made me doubt Ronan.
The vampire grew still as he saw what I held. “Ah. So it is.” He lifted his chin proudly. Ropes of blood and spittle ran down his fangs as he said, “You can’t kill us all.” He shut his eyes on a deep exhale.
And I staked him.
You can’t kill us all. He was right. I’d never get to all the bad guys in the world. It was impossible to eradicate every evil, to kill every vampire.
But I didn’t need to. All that was left was Sonja. The rest could kiss my ass and wave goodbye when I made my way off this island.
But for now, Sonja was still out there. My mother was still in a cell.
And Ronan. Always, Ronan.
I wasn’t done here, not nearly.
I wobbled to standing, jittery and shaking from all the adrenaline rushes. I blinked hard, realizing my vision was swimming. Tears had blurred my eyes, and I wiped a rough arm across my face.
I looked to Kenzie and managed to ask, “You guys were faking it? You weren’t really unconscious?”
“Some of us were injured badly enough, but yeah.” Her nod was sharp and proud. “Ronan set it up.”
“Ronan.” My voice cracked on his name.
“He insisted on coming.” Watcher Clara popped her knuckles. “I was just psyched to get a shot at taking these sleazebags down. But he said you needed him. I guess you’ve got a mom here or something?”
The new girl was shaking her head. “Dude, that is so fucked up.”
I wanted to laugh. It was such a preposterous, astounding plan—only Ronan could’ve come up with it. And then I wanted to cry. He hadn’t betrayed me. I was the one who’d betrayed him.
“We drank feverfew tea,” Regina added. “It’s like poison for vampires.”
“Not poison,” Kenzie corrected. “Blood thinner. Feverfew oil is a natural element—”
“Comes from a daisy,” another Acari interjected.
Kenzie nodded. “It’s used in natural medicine to prevent coagulation. Minimal side effects for humans.”
“But catastrophic for vampires,” Regina added with enthusiasm. “It incapacitates them when they drink it.”
“Temporarily,” Kenzie corrected her. “Just long enough to stake them.”
Regina turned to me, her grin even broader, if that was possible. “He’s a genius.”
“Who?” I barely got the word out, my throat was so tight. But I knew before she said it.
“Ronan.” She gave me a playful nudge, as if to say duh.
Duh. Ronan. Forever Ronan. Duh duh duh.
“Genius?” an older girl said. She wore the uniform of a Guidon, and her navy-blue catsuit was shining, soaked with blood. “He’s a hottie.”
“Watch it.” Kenzie flicked her eyes to me. “I think he’s taken.” Then she winked at me.
Winked.
I thought I might vomit.
Regina had probably long suspected the true depth of my feelings for him, because now she was chattering blithely on, clueless as to how her words were slaying me. “Coming over here,” she relayed gleefully, “Ronan was all, when we get to Annelise-this and Annelise will know what to do-that.”
“All in that accent,” the Guidon sighed. “Annelise will understand what I’m about,” she mimicked, then rolled her eyes in mock ecstasy.
But I didn’t understand, did I? I hadn’t trusted him.
In my mind, I pictured those green eyes in the rearview mirror. How they’d locked with mine.
Haunted. In pain.
I knew what that pain might’ve felt like. I’d thought he was betraying me, but all along, I’d been the treacherous one. So quick to doubt him.
I’d been the one to cause his pain. It was agony.
He cared for me. But I hadn’t trusted it. I hadn’t seen.
He’d tried to communicate his plan, but I’d blown him off. Oh, God, worse, I said I could never love someone like him.
Even stupid Charlotte had seen. She’d seen his love and taken him away.
I’d been the one to double-cross him. And it was most likely getting him killed right now.
Well, I was damned if I’d let that happen. Finally, Ronan’s true feelings for me had penetrated my thick skull. Finally, my scarred little heart was beating with the knowledge that maybe he loved me.
That I definitely loved him.
What did that mean about my feelings for Carden? I adored being with my vampire. He was so easy.
Too easy.
Carden was all about greasing the wheels, making people happy, and getting as close as he could to his goals. Carden had been prioritizing his mission over me since we’d met. His goals were honorable, sure. But they weren’t my goals.
And then there was Ronan. We had the same goals. Valued the same things. We’d fight for what we believed in, even if it meant our own downfall. We treasured friends, helped allies, longed for family, and all along, held the fierce desire to keep a portion of ourselves private, separated from what we saw as a world of horrors.
It was Ronan who made me want to be a better person. Ronan, like me, was never willing to compromise. We never greased wheels. It was Ronan who’d save a girl from cafeteria bullies while Carden chose to sit idly by.
Both men were good and noble, but it was Ronan who’d sacrifice his own happiness, his own life, to ensure the safety of those he cared about.
And that sounded a lot like me. Like who I was, who I wanted to be.
Vampire, Tracer, Watcher, it didn’t matter. Ronan and I were as bonded as two could be. Being parted from him like this was pain worse than any blood fever.
My body felt light, expansive. I was full of air, like I might float from the ground.
I was in love with him.
How had I not known all this time? It was obvious. Inevitable. From the moment I first saw hi
m in that stupid university office in Florida, my feelings had been as fixed and fated as my need for air, for sustenance. No less than those things, Ronan was a part of me. I needed him in my life.
I needed to find him.
The memory of what I’d done and said pierced the balloon in my chest. Would he forgive me? His sister had sworn to destroy me. Would he side with her?
Resolution seemed impossible.
But I wouldn’t think about that. A fire had been lit inside me, and I truly believed that once Ronan and I were together, we could figure anything out.
Whatever happened with my mother, Ronan was just as much my family. I chose him. We were kindred. Because, as I’ve learned, my mother could turn out to be anyone. Bloodlines don’t mean anything. Look at Lilac as proof of that.
It was time to act. I looked at the girls around me. They were my family, too. We were in this together. My power, their power—it was our power.
I pulled my shoulders back and held that misericordia aloft like a torch. “We have to find Ronan.”
I guess I’d snarled the words, because my earnestness made a couple of the older girls laugh.
“Chill,” Clara said. “Of course we’ll find him. I saw exactly where they took him.”
Kenzie smiled. “Then let’s go save the guy.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
The new Acari caught up with Clara and clapped her on the shoulder. “Girl, you’re short, but you are fast.” If I hadn’t already known she was a brand-new recruit, speaking to a Watcher with such clueless irreverence would’ve been a quick indication.
But Clara wasn’t mad when she turned and jogged backward to face us. She was fierce, and with her solid gait and brown hair spilling all over the place, she looked like an action hero, like someone who’d face off with a cyborg killing machine using just her wits and a stick. “I’m not short.” She grinned. “I’m fun-sized.”
Clara, Regina, and me were like the petite brigade. I’d hated my height for years, but now, no way. I’d come to understand just how awesome “fun-sized” was. Just then, it felt like we could sneak into anywhere, make our way through anything.
Reckoning (The Watchers Book 5) Page 16