by 07(lit)
Spock gave McCoy a disgusted look. It was still on his face when the elevator door opened to reveal the waiting Troyian envoy. Kirk addressed him immedi-ately. "Ambassador Petri, suppose you drop this diplo-matic secrecy-and tell me what this mission of yours is really about."
"That must wait until the Dohlman of Elas is aboard, Captain."
"Dohlman?" Kirk said as they all entered the Trans-porter Room. "What the devil is a Dohlman?"
"The thing most feared and hated by my people. Our most deadly enemy," Petri said.
The Transporter Room's hum deepened-and three figures sparkled into substance on the platform. They were soldiers. Breast plates covered their chests. Weap-ons of no recognizable variety hung from the barbaric chains around their necks. The biggest Elasian soldier, thick-jawed, heavy-browed, covered the Enterprise group with his strange weapon.
"Welcome. I am the Ambassador of Troyius," Petri said.
The ape-jawed giant ignored him. "Who runs this ship?"
Kirk said, "The Enterprise is under my command. I am Captain Kirk."
"And I am Kryton of Elas. That Troyian there is a menace. I must know that all is secure here before the Dohlman is brought aboard."
Spock lowered his voice. "Captain, the weapons re-semble twenty-first century nuclear disintegrators."
Kirk spoke to the bellicose Kryton. "My ship is secure. What's more, we are equipped to repel any hostile act." He turned his back on the Elasian to say to the Transporter Room technician. "Energize!"
The center transporter platform went luminous. The three Elasians dropped to one knee. Glaring at Kirk, Kryton growled, "Quickly! To your knee! Do honor to the Dohlman of Elas!"
Kirk's jaw tightened. Beside him, acquiescent, Petri sank to one knee. "It is their custom," he muttered. "To stand is a breach of protocol."
Spock looked at Kirk. Annoyance on his face, Kirk nodded. The Vulcan hesitated; then, he, too, bent his knee. The sight increased Kirk's annoyance. It was abruptly dissipated. On the center platform the "deadly enemy" of Troyius had appeared. The Dohlman was a silver blonde. Her skin had the pearly tone of dreams. So was her body the stuff of dreams. Nor was it hid-den. The scanty metallic scarves she wore served no purpose but suggestion of beauty too overwhelming for complete revelation.
Kryton said, "Glory to Elaan, Dohlman of Elas!"
"Glory is right," Kirk thought, controlling an im-pulse to kneel himself. Instead, he bowed. Then, raising his head, he looked again at the Dohlman of Elas. Under the silver blonde hair, her eyes were dark. Aflame with contempt, they swept over the kneeling men. At a snap of her fingers, her soldier bodyguard got to their feet, Kryton, addressing Spock and Petti, said, "Now you may stand."
She came forward, Kryton towering behind her, tense, his weapon at the ready. Her own hand rested on the elaborately jeweled hilt of a dagger suspended from a golden chain she wore around her slim waist.
"Odd," Kirk said to Spock. "Body armor and nuclear weapons."
"Not without precedent, sir. Consider the Samurai customs of old Earth's Japanese. Even we Vulcans preserve some symbolic remnants of our past."
Kryton growled again. "Permission to speak was not given!"
Before Kirk could retort, Elaan said to Spock, "You rule this ship?" The voice was husky, infinitely femi-nine.
"I am the ship's First Officer. This is Captain Kirk."
She made no sign of acknowledgment. Petri inter-posed hastily. "Your glory, I am Petri of Troyius. In the name of my people, I bid you welcome to-"
"Your mission is known to me," she said with negli-gent scorn. Then, turning to Kirk, she added, "You are permitted to show the accommodations."
He pulled himself together. "I think we'd better have an understanding right-"
"Please, Captain," Petri begged.
Kirk said, "My First Officer, Mr. Spock will show you to your quarters." He turned to leave. "Ambassador Petri, I want to speak to you."
Elaan's words came like a whip. "You have not been dismissed."
Incredulous, on the edge of explosion, Kirk gave his response second thought. He decided to shrug. "May I have your glory's permission to leave?" he asked silkily.
"You are all dismissed," she said.
Outside in the corridor Kirk wheeled on Petri. "All right, Ambassador! What exactly are we supposed to be doing?"
Petri drew him aside. "She-that woman is to be the wife of our ruler. The marriage has been arranged to bring peace. Our two warring planets now possess the capability of mutual destruction. Some method of coexistence had to be found."
"Then we return to Troyius?"
"Yes. But slowly, Captain. I will need time. My mission is to teach her civilized manners before we reach Troyius. It must be clear to you now why I'll need time. In her present savage condition my people would never accept her as queen."
"You've got yourself quite a mission," Kirk said.
"Those are my orders. I must ask you and your crew to tolerate this Elasian impudence for the sake of future peace. It is vital that friction now be kept to a minimum."
"That I can understand," Kirk said.
"There's another thing you should understand, Cap-tain. You have as much at stake as I have. Your superiors know that failure of this mission would be as catastrophic for Federation planning as it would be for our two planets. The peace we'd gain by accepting such an untutored wife for our ruler would not be peace." He drew a deep sighing breath. "I will take her the official gifts I bear. Perhaps they will change her mood."
Kirk said, "I hope so." But what he thought was: "Shrew, termagant-a knockout fishwife is what I've got on my ship!"
Troubled, he stopped at Sulu's station as he re-entered the bridge. "Mr. Sulu, lay in a course for Troyius. Impulse drive-speed factor point zero three seven. Take us out of orbit."
Sulu looked startled. "Impulse drive, Captain?"
"That is correct, Mr. Sulu. Sub-light factor point zero three seven."
Scott looked up from his station. "Captain, you'll not be using the warp drive? All the way on impulse?"
"Correct, Mr. Scott."
"That'll take a great deal of time."
"Are you in a hurry, Mr. Scott?"
"No, sir."
"That's it, then." But he'd scarcely reached his com-mand chair when Spock hurried to his side. "Captain, the Dohlman is dissatisfied with her quarters!"
Overhearing, Uhura turned indignantly. "What's the matter with them?"
"Nothing that I was able to see," Spock said. "But all the Elasians seem to be most irrational."
"I gave up my quarters," Uhura said, "because-"
"I appreciate your sacrifice, Lieutenant," Kirk told her. He got up. "I'll talk to the lady myself."
He heard the screams of rage before he reached Uhura's cabin. Its door was wide open. But it took a moment to take in the scene. A crystal box was flying through the air-and struck Petri in the chest. "Swine! Take back your gifts! Your ruler cannot buy the favor of the Dohlman of Elas!"
Petri retrieved the box, stuffing delicate lace back into it. "Your glory," he said, "this is your wedding veil." He backed up to what he clearly hoped was a safe distance to raise the lid of a begemmed gold casket. "In this," he said, "are the most prized royal jewels of Troyius. This necklace is a gift from the bridegroom's mother to adorn your lovely throat..."
The necklace seemed to be composed of diamonds and emeralds. Elaan seized it. Then she hurled it at Petri with a wild aim that barely escaped hitting Kirk in the face. "I would strangle if I wore this bauble of Troyian dogs around my neck!"
Kirk stepped over the glitter at his feet and into the cabin. She saw him and shrieked, "Kryton!" The huge guard rushed in. "By whose permission has he come here?"
"He came in answer to your summons, your glory."
Kirk said, "I understand you are not happy with your quarters."
She waved a hand, dismissing Kryton. "Quarters?" She leveled a perfect leg at a cushioned chair. "Am I a soft, pewling Troyian that
I must have cushions to sit on?" She kicked the chair over. Her own action inflamed her rage. She ran to the cabin window, ripping down its draperies. "These female trappings in here are an offense to me!"
Kirk said, "My Communications Officer vacated these rooms in the generous hope you would find them satisfactory."
"I do not find them so." She pointed at Petri. "And I find this-this Ambassador even less satisfactory! Must my bitterness be compounded by his presence aboard your ship?"
Petri, red with suppressed fury, said, "I've explained to her glory that her Council of Nobles and the Troyian Tribunal jointly agreed that I should instruct-make her acquainted with the customs and manners of our people."
"Kryton!" Elaan called. She indicated Petri. "Re-move him!" The guard fingered his weapon. Petri bowed; and was moving to the door when she cried, "And take that garbage with you!" He bowed again, stooped lower to collect the gifts she'd flung to the floor and gratefully made his exit.
"That he should dare to suggest I adopt the servile manners of his people!" Elaan stormed.
"Your glory doesn't seem to be responding favorably to Troyian instruction," Kirk said.
"I will never forgive the Council of Nobles for in-flicting such a nightmare on me! By the way, you were responding to my demand for better quarters!"
"There are none better aboard," Kirk said. "I sug-gest you make the best of it."
Aghast at this effrontery, she glanced at Uhura's dressing table for some object she could smash. "You presume to suggest to me-"
Kirk said, "Lieutenant Uhura's personal belongings have all been removed from the cabin. But if smashing things gratifies you, I will arrange to equip it with breakable articles."
"I will not be humiliated!"
"Then behave yourself," Kirk said. He went to the door; and she screamed, "I did not give you permis-sion to leave!"
"I didn't ask for it," he said, slamming the door behind him.
An agitated Petri was waiting for him in the corri-dor. "Captain, I wish to contact my government. I cannot fulfill my mission. I would be an insult to my ruler to bring him this incorrigible monster as a bride."
"Simmer down, Ambassador. Your mission is a peace mission."
"There cannot be peace between the Elasians and us. We have deluded ourselves. The truth is, when I am with these people, I do not want peace. I want to kill them."
"Then you're as bad as she is," Kirk said. "You're not obliged to like the Elasians. You're obliged to do a job."
"The job's impossible. She simply won't listen to me."
"Make her listen," Kirk said. "Don't be so diplomatic. She respects strength. Come on strong with her, Ambassador."
"I, too, have pride, Captain. I will not be humili-ated."
"You're on assignment, Ambassador. So am I. We're under orders to deliver the Dohlman in acceptable condition for this marriage. If it means swallowing a bit of our pride-well, that's part of the job."
Petri sighed. "Very well. I'll make another try."
"Strong, Ambassador. Remember, come on strong with her. Good luck."
A knockout fishwife. What she needed was a swift one to her lovely jaw. Kirk, re-entering the bridge was greeted by Uhura's hopeful question: "Does she like my quarters any better now, Captain?"
"She's made certain... arrangements, Lieutenant. But I think things will work out."
The intercom spoke excitedly. "Security alert! Deck five! Security alert!"
Kirk ran for the elevator. On deck five, Security Officer Evans met him as he stepped out. "It's Ambas-sador Petri, sir. They refuse to explain what hap-pened but-"
At the door to Elaan's quarters, two Enterprise security men were confronting the three Elasian guards. "Stand aside, please," Kirk said to Kryton.
The ape-jawed giant said, "Her glory has not sum-moned you."
Behind him Elaan opened the closed door. "Have this Troyian pig removed," she said.
Petri lay on the cabin floor, face down in a pool of his own blood. The jeweled dagger had been buried in his back.
In Sickbay McCoy looked up at Kirk. "The knife went deep, Jim. He's lost a lot of blood."
Kirk bent over the patient. What he received was a glare. "If I recover," Petri said weakly, "it will be no thanks to you."
"I said talk to her. Not fight her."
"I should have known better than to enter that cabin, unarmed. But you forced me to. I hold you responsible for this."
"Captain!" It was Uhura. "A message from Star-fleet Command just in. Class A security, scrambled. I've just put it through the decoder."
"What is it, Lieutenant?"
"The Federation's High Commissioner is on his way to Troyius for the royal wedding."
McCoy whistled. "Whew! Now the fat's really in the fire. When the Commissioner learns the bride has just tried to murder the groom's Ambassador..."
"What a comfort you are, Bones!" But McCoy had returned to the patient whom Nurse Christine was preparing for an air hypo. As she applied it, she said, "If the Elasian women are this vicious, sir, why are men so attracted to them? What is their magic?"
"It's not magic," Petri said scornfully. "It's bio-chemical-a chemical substance in their tears. A man whose flesh is once touched by an Elasian woman's tears is made her slave forever."
"What rot!" Kirk thought. "The man's a fool." The failure of his mission was about to be exposed to the Federation's High Commissioner-and here he was go-ing on about Elasian females' tears. He walked over to the bed. "Ambassador, I have news for you. The Federation's High Commissioner is on his way to this wedding."
"There will be no wedding. I would not have our ruler marry that creature if the entire galaxy depended on it. And I want nothing more to do with you."
"I didn't ask you to have anything to do with me. I asked you to do your job with her." He turned to McCoy. "Bones, how long will it take to get him back on his feet?"
"A few days. Maybe a week."
Petri raised his head from his pillow. "Captain, in this bed you put me. And in this bed I intend to stay. Indefinitely. I have nothing further to say to you."
Kirk looked at McCoy. Then he shrugged. Uhura and McCoy followed him out to the corridor. "I don't know what to do with him, Jim. He's as bad as she is. They're all pig-headed. And they just plain hate each other."
Uhura said, "You've got to admit he's got the better reason for hate. Captain, can't you explain to the High Commissioner that it's just impossible to-"
"High Commissioners don't like explanations. They like results. How do you handle a woman like that, anyway?"
"You stay away from her, Captain. As far away as-"
She broke off. From the recreation room they were passing came the sound of poignantly haunting music. Uhura's face lighted. "Captain, it used to be said that music hath charms to soothe the savage breast. The Dohlman has a very savage breast. Suppose you-"
"Soothing that woman is asking a lot of any music," McCoy said.
But Kirk was looking reflectively at the recreation room door. He opened it. Spock, sitting apart from the other crew members, was strumming his Vulcan lyre. Its unearthly tones suited the room decorations- its carpet of pink grass, wall vines that broke into drooping, long-stamened blossoms, the fountain spray-ing purple water into the air.
"Spock, what's that music you're playing?"
"A simple scale. I was just tuning the lyre."
"You can play tunes on that contraption?" McCoy said.
"I took second prize in the all-Vulcan music com-petition."
"Who took the first one?"
"My father."
"Can you play a love song?" Kirk said.
"A mating song. In ancient times the Vulcan lyre was used to stimulate the mating passion."
"We need some form of such stimulation on this ship," Kirk said. "A mating on Troyius is supposed to take place if we could just persuade the bride to participate in it."
"Inasmuch as she's just knifed her teacher in the bridegroom's etiquett
e, teaching it to her seems some-thing of a baffler," McCoy said.
"Appoint another teacher," Spock said.
"You, Spock?"
"Certainly not. Logic dictates that the Dohlman will accept only the person of highest rank aboard this vessel."
Everybody looked at Kirk. He looked back at them, considering all the elements involved in Elaan's capitulation to reason.