by Mary May
Laughing, she agreed, “I sure hope not! I have never been so scared in my life! I really got to find a bathroom. I nearly peed on myself.” Hurrying into the ladies’ room, she sighed in relief as she relieved herself. The swishing of the door then the clicking of heels alerted her she wasn’t alone any longer. A pair of six inch red stilettos stopped right in front of her stall door.
“Honey, a word of warning. Lonnie Foster is a snake. You can believe me or not, but don’t say you were never warned.” Then the heels turned and walked back out the door, leaving Sherrilyn feeling suddenly unsure.
The encounter in the restroom left her shaken the rest of the night. She found herself looking at feet the rest of the night, but the red stilettos never turned up.
Tagin stood near the window of Sherrilyn’s bedroom that night, thinking over what the woman had told her in the restroom. Unlike Sherrilyn, he had a full view of the lady in the red heels. He saw her go in as he was waiting outside the door. Hearing what she said wasn’t a problem. Really good hearing was a standard issue angel perk. Linda Foster was older but still very attractive. It was easy to see that life had handed her many disappointments, judging from the hard look on her face. He wondered what Lonnie had done to her besides divorce her. He knew enough to know that he wasn’t what he let on to be, at least not to Sherrilyn. He was a con artist at worst and a bad human being at best. He was still hoping that somehow Sherrilyn would see him for what he really was.
“Did you see the newspaper?” Amy Hardin, the studio secretary, was holding it up with both hands when Sherrilyn walked into the studio the following Monday.
“Hi, good morning. No, I haven’t had a chance. What’s in it?” Sherrilyn reached for the paper, scanning the headlines until her eyes landed on her name.
Sherry Lane, a new rising star for Lonnie Foster’s label, delivered a powerful performance last night during her debut on The Grand Ole Opry stage. A voice as smooth as silk and as comforting as your favorite teddy bear, Miss Lane has all the talent to reach the stars!
“Oh, my….” Laying the paper back down on Amy’s desk, she looked at the smiling woman in surprise.
“Oh, my, is right! You may want to use this for whatever you want Lonnie to give you. I promise he will be in such a good mood he will agree to anything! Shoot, I may ask for a raise and get in on this myself!” Nodding her head down the hall, she whispered, “He just got in his office. Go take this and surprise him!” As Amy picked up the paper, a section fell out and landed on the floor. Sherrilyn reached down and picked it up. An article caught her eye. It was about a woman that jumped from the roof of the Opry last night in what was being called an apparent suicide. She wasn’t carrying any identification, and all the picture showed was a single red stiletto lying on the sidewalk…
Chapter 4
Sherrilyn didn’t tell Lonnie about the woman in the paper. She didn’t tell him about her article in the paper either. She carried the paper into a supply closet and cried. How can someone feel so helpless and out of control of their lives to jump from a building? It was so sad and it broke her heart. It also gave her pause. One of the last things the woman had done before killing herself was to warn her about the man she was going to marry soon…
Sherrilyn’s wedding day was one for the record books, or she felt like it should have been. Lonnie spared no expense and it showed. While she may have preferred a quiet intimate ceremony with a few close friends and family, Lonnie wanted something to rival the royal wedding. From the cathedral church to having her delivered in a carriage pulled by four white horses it was a fairy tale from beginning to end. Every newspaper was there, snapping pictures and asking all the guests who knows what about the bride and groom. The reception lasted long into the night. Champagne poured over an ice sculpture of two hearts with a large F in the middle. The wedding cake was the size of a small car with five layers in the center then four more stacked beside it connected by bridges. The look on her dad’s face more than matched the way she felt about the overblown affair, but in the end all she cared about was becoming Mrs. Lonnie Foster. Right before they left for their honeymoon, her dad pulled her aside.
“Sherry Rose, I want you to know that my home will always be your home, married or not. You understand?” Pulling her into a tight hug, when he spoke next his voice was thick with emotion. “You just remember that you were mine first and your last name changing to his doesn’t change that. I love you, little girl.” Wrapping her arms tightly around her dad’s neck Sherrilyn felt his tears drip onto her shoulder.
After a two-week cruise to the Bahamas, life settled into a routine. She moved into Lonnie’s mansion and tried her best to be a good wife. All went well for the first six months. She was given permission to remodel the house to suit her as long as she bought high-end materials. Her second record was released and was well received. The life she had dreamed of seemed to be coming true until Lonnie asked her to host a party for him.
“I need you to host a party for me next weekend. There will be close to a hundred people, so hire caterers. I need this to be perfect. I have several new record deals that could be riding on this.”
Sherrilyn looked at Lonnie with wide eyes. “Honey, are you sure we don’t need to hire a party planner? I really don’t know anything about a party like that.”
“Fine, do what you need to do, but remember it has to be perfect.” He leveled a look at her that made her nervous.
“Gee, no pressure though, right?” She laughed until she saw his hand flying toward her face. It connected just above her right ear and sent her crashing to the tile floor. Lonnie stood over her, his face red with rage.
“What do you know about pressure? All that is required of you is to look pretty and sing. Everything we have depends on what I do. One wrong decision and we could lose everything!”
Staring at him from the floor in shock, she held her now-throbbing face. She had never been hit before. Ever! What had she done to deserve that? She worked hard, trying to make everything run smoothly both at home and at the studio. Quickly the shock wore off and anger took its place. Getting to her knees she stood up. Glaring at the man who had stood before God in a church and vowed to cherish her, she slapped him back with everything she had. This time she never saw the hit coming. The next thing she felt was the side of her face exploding and then her world went black…
The sound of a pizza commercial broke through the darkness, forcing her back into her new reality. A reality she never in a million years would have thought would belong to her. Feeling her stomach churn and her head throb painfully, she wondered how long she had been out. That thought was quickly followed by another more pressing one. Where was Lonnie? Lifting her head carefully, she gazed around the room until she spotted him on the sofa watching TV. The fact that he could do something so violent then leave her laid out on the floor while he watched basketball made a cold knot form in her stomach. Finally looking over at her, he spoke. No anger or emotion whatsoever could be detected in his voice.
“I’m hungry. You best start on dinner,” he said like it was your average Tuesday evening.
The idea of her happily ever after sank faster than the Titanic after it hit the ice berg. Carefully she rolled over to her back, closing her eyes while her head spun. Finally, she made it to her feet for the second time and made her way to the bathroom. The mirror confirmed what she could already feel. The area around her right eye was starting to swell and turn an ugly shade of purple. Pressing her fingers against the tender area, she decided while seriously painful, nothing was broken… nothing that was, except her heart.
One of the hardest things about being a guardian was the times when he couldn’t interfere. He could have easily blocked the blows, but he wasn’t allowed. Being a resident of heaven and a spiritual being didn’t exactly mean he understood all things. He wasn’t privy to inside information. The Scriptures state that He allows the sun to shine on both the just and the unjust, and He allows the rain to fall on the same as
well. Bad things will happen to both as long as they are on this earth. The difference between those that trust the Creator and those that don’t is the faithful never walk alone.
He wished Sherrilyn would turn to the Lord for help and guidance in this. Tagin knew that all would be explained once they returned home, but just like the humans that placed their faith in the Creator, there were times when something was allowed to happen that made no sense from this side. Even for him. He struggled with it on nearly every assignment. Some humans had easier lives, it was true. But all had their share of grief and circumstances to overcome. Even after countless times of being shown the reasons why things were allowed, once they arrived back in the heavens he still questioned, still wondered and still doubted. It was a definite character flaw that he needed to work on. In the meantime, he would do his job to the best of his ability and protect her from what he could.
Two days later Sherrilyn picked up the phone for the twentieth time and dialed her dad’s number. This time she managed to not hang up when he answered. Just the sound of his voice in her ear had tears swimming in her eyes. She felt so alone and confused. She knew that her dad would be on his way to get her with just one word from her. The thought of telling him what Lonnie had done to her was so embarrassing. It wasn’t like she had done anything wrong, so the feelings she was having were very confusing. Maybe it was because her dad had sensed something about her husband that she didn’t. Maybe it was just the idea that she could so completely misjudge a person that she didn’t want to admit to it. Whatever the reason, she knew she wouldn’t tell him even before they were finished with their hellos. Then the next sentence out of her dad’s mouth confirmed it.
“Sherry, I got some bad news. The mill just had a big layoff. About thirty of us got let go. I’m sure I will pick up something soon, and I can draw my unemployment in the meantime. I don’t want your little brother to know yet, so don’t say anything to him when you talk to him, ok? So, how are things with you? Is married life suiting you?”
It was all she could do not to bust out laughing…in a crazy, terrified kind of way. Finally pulling herself together, she told him that everything was just fine. They chitchatted for a few more minutes before he put Devon on the phone. She was careful to keep her voice cheerful and talk only of good things. After she had said goodbye and hung up, she let the tears fall once more. No matter what, she would figure out a way to either fix her marriage or survive it.
Over the next few weeks, things settled back down. The dinner party was a success and Lonnie seemed happy once more and back to his charming self. He would buy her gifts and take her out to expensive restaurants. She wasn’t fooled this time. She knew that once the pressure started to build, once more he would need an outlet, and now she knew what that outlet was. Sure enough, as time progressed, the slaps became more frequent and insults were a daily occurrence. It seemed nothing she did was good enough. But she tried. Oh, did she try! Taking cooking lessons and working out, she kept the house spotless and her body in top shape. She did everything within her power to make his home life a good one. She never denied him his “husbandly rights,” although she felt frozen on the inside and simply went through the motions.
Then at dinner one night he told her she was making a jazz album. Sherrilyn looked at him in surprise. “A jazz album? I really don’t know anything about jazz.” When he cut his eyes at her, she quickly amended her statement, “I mean, I can learn, I’m sure. When do we start?”
They started the next morning going over different styles of jazz music trying to select a few songs that were suited to her voice. Sherrilyn mostly sat back and kept her mouth shut. Nothing she said would make any difference anyway. Lonnie would choose what he wanted and she would try to sing it.
After hours of working on one song, Sherrilyn knew it wasn’t working. She couldn’t find the rhythm. The harder she tried, the more she messed up and the angrier Lonnie became. Finally, he ordered everyone out of the studio. Once the studio was empty and silent, he walked back to the sound booth. Sherrilyn knew what was going to happen. He had that mean look on his face as he stalked toward the booth where she was. She tried to say she was sorry once more, but she never got the chance. Lonnie punched her square in the mouth, knocking her backwards. Then bending down, he grabbed her by her blouse to hold her in one spot as he continued to punch her over and over. When he got tired of bending down, he stood up and started kicking her, cursing her and blaming her for everything that was wrong in his life. He accused her of sabotaging the jazz album and not even trying to help him. Sherrilyn curled up in a ball, trying to protect herself the best she could. Indescribable pain tore up and down her body with every kick. Unable to draw in a breath, she couldn’t even cry out for help, not that anyone was there to hear her. Finally, he exhausted himself and stopped, leaving her lying on the floor.
Sherrilyn knew she was badly injured. A burning pain streaked down both legs from the blows to her back. When she finally tried to get up, she blacked out. The next thing she knew, she was being carried in Lonnie’s arms. He set her in the front seat of his Mercedes, telling her not to bleed all over his car. On the way to the hospital he told her to tell them that she fell down the back steps at the studio. He promised that if she didn’t convince them that he would stop sending her family money. That actually surprised her because she had no idea that he had been doing that, but it did make a wonderful form of blackmail, so she should have expected it.
“Why, Lonnie? Why do you do this? If you hate me so much, just divorce me.” She wasn’t sure he would be able to understand her garbled speech, but apparently he did. He gave her a look she couldn’t quite define. “I don’t hate you. Do you think I enjoy this? Why must you push me to this point?”
She knew better than to push him any further. Her body couldn’t take any more punishment and her questions were only making him angrier. She rode the rest of the way to the emergency room in silence curled in a ball on Lonnie’s front seat.
Once they got to the hospital, Lonnie turned into the most caring and concerned husband you could imagine. The nurses quickly brought out a stretcher and gently help her to lie down on her left side. It was the only place on her body that Lonnie couldn’t get to when he was kicking her. The doctor was very nice and when he asked her what happened, she stared straight ahead and repeated the story Lonnie had told her to give. If they didn’t believe her, they didn’t say anything. They simply started patching her up.
Three hours after she had been admitted, the doctor came back with the lab reports. “Mrs. Foster, did you know that you are pregnant?”
Sherrilyn looked at him with wide eyes before looking to see what Lonnie’s reaction was. He gave her a hard look but was all smiles by the time the doctor looked at him. “Honey, you didn’t tell me you were pregnant! What wonderful news!” Bending down, he kissed her cheek.
Giving Lonnie a calculating look, the doctor spoke once more. “Your wife most likely didn’t know yet. The pregnancy hormones were very faint, which means she isn’t very far along at all. As of right now, the pregnancy is still viable; however, you’re not out of the woods. A fall like the one she took tonight could very well cause her to miscarry, so I would like to keep a close eye on her for a day or two.”
After the doctor left, Sherrilyn let her right hand drift down to her mid-section. A baby! She was going to have a baby! Surely even someone as heartless as Lonnie wouldn’t beat her while she was carrying his child! The very idea of having some protection for even a short while filled her mind with peace, and the thought of having someone to love and who in turn would love her filled her heart with joy…
Three days later her joy turned to despair as she felt the hard cramps in her lower abdomen. “Please…no…please, God, no…” She lay on the bed stuffing pillows under her hips to try to slow down the bleeding. “Stay with me, baby…please don’t leave me alone.” She begged the life that was slowly slipping away to stay but to no avail. By nightfall it had slipp
ed away as if it had never existed. Lonnie never said a word about the loss. He simply looked at her as if she were somehow at fault. Something else she failed at. Once they returned home, Lonnie went straight to his office without saying a word to Sherrilyn. Standing in the doorway of her beautiful home filled with beautiful things, she felt the first coating of ice form on her heart toward the man that had promised her everything.
Over the course of the next few years, she conceived three more times and three more times she failed to carry it beyond three months. With every miscarriage, she felt less and less like a woman. Lonnie made sure that she was reminded on a daily basis of her shortcomings. Everything was falling apart, and no matter what she tried, she failed. Even her voice, the one thing that had always been there for her, was deserting her. So when she discovered that Lonnie was having an affair, she couldn’t even blame him. At least he wasn’t beating her for every little thing. His new fling seemed to keep him too busy to pay much attention to her. Never in her life did she ever think she would actually be grateful for her husband to have an affair, but she almost was. If it wasn’t for the embarrassment she felt when she went to the studio, it really wouldn’t bother her at all. What love she had felt for the man he had long since beat out of her. Her main concern was keeping anyone from knowing exactly how bad things were at home. The affair was known, but the beatings were not. She thought she was doing a good job presenting a happy front until Kendall, the new bookkeeper, cornered her one day.
“Hi, Kendall, do you have the new spreadsheets ready?”
The woman smiled as she handed Sherrilyn the paperwork. “I sure do.” On top of the folder was a small folded piece of paper.