Chapter Fifty-one
‘I can’t believe you’re here.’ Tasha smiled as she cuddled up to Charlie in bed. It felt amazing to wake up next to him again.
Charlie pulled her towards him and kissed her.
‘The children are going to be so happy!’ Tasha pictured their faces when they told them the news.
As she lay in his arms Tasha felt the most extraordinary happiness alongside the bitter sadness of Andrew’s death. She almost felt guilty at her elation about having Charlie back when Becca was faced with such deep and permanent loss. However, she knew that Andrew would have been the happiest of all to hear that they were giving their marriage a second chance, and she clung to that.
Tasha could hear the children stirring. She crept out of bed to investigate, finding them in Flora’s room.
‘I’ve got something to show you,’ she said. ‘Come with me!’
They followed her into the bedroom, intrigued. ‘Dad!’ they squealed with delight as they saw Charlie.
‘What are you doing here?’ Flora asked.
‘It’s a surprise!’ Charlie said. Tasha laughed as she saw the happiness spread over their little faces. This was how it should be, the family all together. He looked at Tasha for approval. She smiled in return and nodded. ‘Mummy and I have decided to live together again,’ he said. ‘We just missed each other too much to be apart.’
‘Oh yay!’ squeaked Max.
‘That is the best news I have ever heard!’ Bella cried.
‘Really?’ said Flora. ‘Starting from now?’
‘Yes!’ Tasha said. ‘Starting from now!’
They threw their arms around Charlie and Tasha. ‘This is the best day of my life!’ Bella declared solemnly.
‘Can we tell all our friends?’ Flora asked.
‘Of course you can, darling,’ Tasha said.
‘Hooray!’ the children cried as they hugged their parents again and again. Charlie ruffled their hair and laughed. He leant over to give Tasha a kiss.
Later they went to Wimbledon Common for a walk, wrapped up in their warmest winter clothes. They tramped through the damp woodland, cheeks red from the chill in the air, grins plastered across the children’s faces as they stamped on icy puddles with their wellington boots. Tasha had to keep pinching herself in case she was dreaming, to be sure that Charlie had really come back. She had been so close to losing him, she could hardly believe that he was truly there.
*
The next day Tasha was back at work. She phoned Rosie on her lunchbreak. ‘I knew he would come back!’ Rosie cried. ‘I just knew it. He loves you so much, there is no way he could live without you.’
‘I am so happy!’ Tasha couldn’t keep the smile off her face. ‘I am never going to complain about anything he does, ever again.’
‘Ha,’ Rosie laughed. ‘I’ll hold you to that one, shall I?’
‘Well, we’ll see!’ Tasha had to admit that it was an unlikely promise.
‘So, what now?’ Rosie asked.
‘I think we need to have some chats, once we’re used to being back together, to re-evaluate everything and see if we can make any changes going forward.’
‘Have you talked about Javier?’
‘Not really. Charlie says he doesn’t want to.’
‘Maybe he’d rather just forget about it and move on.’
‘Maybe. The main thing is that I don’t want to take our marriage for granted ever again, and neither does Charlie. Losing Andrew has made us realise that more than anything.’
Afterwards Tasha called Becca; she had wanted to be the one to tell her, rather than Charlie. Becca was even happier than Rosie had been at the news, declaring it the first time she had really smiled in weeks. She reiterated what Tasha had suspected: that Andrew would have been the happiest of them all to hear it. ‘If we can learn anything from his death,’ Becca said, ‘it has to be to just love each other as much as we can while we still have the chance.’
‘You’re right,’ Tasha said. ‘And we will, I promise.’
By the time Tasha had called her family and Flo to tell them the happy news her lunchbreak was well and truly over. She headed back into the office. She texted Charlie.
My family are over the moon, as are Becca and the girls. They all send lots of love xx
She paused to look at her screensaver. It was the photograph of Tasha, Charlie and the children that someone had taken in Richmond Park all those months ago. She smiled at the memory.
That evening they shared a bottle of wine in front of the television, cuddled up next to each other on the sofa. She felt so close to him again, physically and emotionally, remembering all the times she had felt so completely disconnected from him, and she was so grateful that they had somehow managed to bridge the divide. They both knew there was a long road ahead, but for the first time in a long time it felt as though they were in it together, on the same team. Javier’s presence across the road was the remaining elephant in the room, the constant reminder of just what they were trying to forget.
Later that night as they lay in bed, Tasha’s head resting on Charlie’s chest, Tasha asked a question that had come somewhat out of the blue into her mind. ‘How would you feel about moving away from here?’ she said, looking up at him.
‘You mean selling the house?’ Charlie asked.
‘Yes. Selling the house and moving to the country.’
Charlie was quiet for several minutes as he thought about it. They both knew it would be a good idea to move away from Javier, though neither of them said it.
‘That’s always been the dream…’
‘I know. But really, what is stopping us?’
‘It just feels like such an enormous decision.’
‘Well, we could start to think about it,’ Tasha said. ‘We don’t have to make any decisions to begin with.’
‘Agreed.’ Charlie was quiet for a few moments, stroking her hair. After a while he said, ‘Do you remember that house that Andrew told us about?’
‘Hazeldown? Do you think it’s on the market yet?’ Tasha asked.
‘It could be.’
‘It would be the ideal location. Near my parents, near Becca, it’s near a station so we could both commute…’
‘God, wouldn’t it be nice to wake up to the countryside each morning? And the weekends… just peace and quiet, open fields…’
‘It would be amazing!’
‘A fresh start could be good for us, for all of us, the children included.’
‘I think they’d love it. Though they’d be miserable leaving their friends…’
‘They’d make new ones.’
‘And Flora… she might actually be happier at a secondary school in the country…’
‘I’d much rather that, in a way,’ Charlie said. ‘They’ll grow up so fast in a city school.’
‘Do you think we could really make this happen?’ Tasha asked, hardly daring to believe it.
‘I don’t see why not,’ Charlie said. ‘We’ve always talked about doing it one day – maybe now is the right time?’
Tasha smiled and closed her eyes. It felt so good to be back in his arms; as she drifted off to sleep she dreamed of all the happy times they had ahead of them.
Chapter Fifty-two
Tasha’s birthday fell on the thirteenth of January: a date no one would willingly choose. Everyone was always so bloated from their overindulgence, still coming down from the high of Christmas that they were never in the mood to celebrate. She never particularly looked forward to it.
The doorbell chimed at ten o’clock in the morning, just as Tasha was standing on a kitchen chair, straining to reach one of the overhead spotlights to change a bulb. Charlie still hadn’t mastered the necessary technique, though Tasha was determined to teach him and add the task to his list of responsibilities. As part of their ongoing discussions they had agreed to redistribute household chores more fairly going forward.
Charlie answered the door. To Tasha’s amazement, Lizzi
e and Bertie bustled into the house, having left the dogs at home with Ella.
‘Surprise!’ they cried as they hugged Tasha, Charlie and the children. ‘Happy birthday, darling!’ they said, handing her a present wrapped in floral paper.
‘Mum! Dad! What are you doing here?’ Tasha asked.
‘Lizzie and Bertie have kindly agreed to babysit!’ Charlie explained. ‘We’re going away for the night. I’ve already packed your bag!’ He looked extremely pleased with himself.
‘Away?’ Tasha asked. ‘Oh, my goodness! Where are we going?’ She couldn’t remember the last time Charlie had planned a surprise weekend.
‘You’ll have to wait and see.’
‘Have a wonderful time with Granny and Grandpa,’ Charlie said to the children a short while later, having run through exactly what was required of Tasha’s parents over the next twenty-four hours. ‘And be good. Mummy and Daddy are going somewhere special for Mummy’s birthday. And I’m afraid children aren’t allowed.’
‘Unfair!’ they cried as Tasha and Charlie kissed them goodbye and made a run for the door.
It seemed that they were heading directly for Becca’s house. No matter how many questions Tasha asked, Charlie remained resolutely tight-lipped. Soon they pulled up outside a Tudor house with a cockerel-shaped topiary hedge, Hazeldown: the house they had stopped to look at all those months ago. ‘What do you reckon? Do you still fancy a look around?’ Charlie asked.
‘Can we? Is it actually on the market?’
‘It certainly is! And I’ve arranged a viewing with Peter Cunliffe.’
‘I can’t believe it!’ Tasha gasped, getting out of the car. ‘It’s so beautiful.’ She looked at the whitewashed walls, the Tudor beams, the thatched roof. It really was the most charming house. And the setting was idyllic, surrounded by rolling hills and farmland.
An hour or so later, both Charlie and Tasha were completely in love with the place. Peter had given them a comprehensive tour of the property and grounds. Sweeping lawns were edged by beautifully-kept borders. There was an enormous farmhouse-style kitchen with an island and a huge green Aga, three big bathrooms, five double bedrooms, a dining room, sitting room, drawing room and a gorgeous conservatory stretching out onto the garden. It would need a bit of work, and more than a lick of paint, but its potential was undeniable. As they left Charlie promised Peter that he would be in touch very soon. Tasha and Charlie talked and talked about the serious possibility of a move for the remainder of their journey towards their second secret destination of the day.
An hour or so later Charlie parked outside a boutique country spa hotel. ‘Here we are!’ he announced as he switched off the engine. ‘Our home for the night.’
Tasha squealed with excitement, jumping out of the passenger seat and flinging her arms around Charlie.
‘It’s got an award-winning spa. And we’ve got a dinner reservation in the restaurant this evening.’
They went into the hotel and checked in, looking around and admiring all the cosy seating areas complete with roaring fires, the twenties-style bar lined with bottles of different-coloured glass and the beautiful artwork that hung on the walls. Having dumped their bags in their suite, they went straight to the spa for a Jacuzzi and swim before returning to their room, where a bottle of champagne was waiting on ice.
‘Happy birthday!’ Charlie said as he poured her a glass. They toasted her birthday, soon falling asleep side by side in a champagne haze, luxuriating in the peace and quiet of being child-free. A while later Charlie woke her with a kiss, untying her white towelling robe and making love to her, taking advantage of their time together with no children to interrupt them.
That evening, after drinks in the bar, they ate a delicious meal in the hotel restaurant. The more they talked, the more time they spent together, the more Tasha felt they were reconnecting as a couple, repairing the damage they had caused one another stitch by stitch. As they lay in bed that night, Charlie produced a tiny velvet box from his bag. ‘Happy birthday,’ he said.
‘Charlie!’ she cried, opening the box to reveal a set of diamond earrings, each drop cut into the shape of a heart. ‘They are absolutely beautiful! Thank you,’ she said as she pulled him close and kissed him.
‘I love you,’ Charlie said, kissing her back.
‘I love you too.’
In that moment, she felt the happiest she had ever felt, knowing just how far they had come and how much more of their journey together there was still to unfold. The future seemed full of new and exciting challenges, full of hope and possibility.
Epilogue
‘It’s snowing!’ screeched Max as he came bouncing down the landing and into their room, an impish grin fixed across his face. ‘And Santa’s been!’ he squealed, depositing a bulging stocking full of gifts onto the bed, before bolting off to rouse the rest of the house with a ‘Merry Christmas everyone!’ Tasha laughed sleepily as she reached over to switch on her bedside table lamp.
‘Happy Christmas,’ she said, leaning over to kiss Charlie.
‘Happy Christmas!’ he replied. Tasha laughed at the sight of him in his reindeer pyjamas. She got out of bed and threw back the curtains. Sure enough, snowflakes were falling thick and fast, each one miraculous in its perfection, adding to the bright white canopy of snow that had already started to settle across the fields and hedgerows below. She still couldn’t believe that this was her view: rolling countryside as far as the eye could see. She knew she would never get bored of it.
Seconds later Bella and Daisy, who were sharing a room, could be heard shrieking with delight as they looked out of the window and saw the snow for themselves. ‘It really is snowing!’ they cried, racing into the spare room to wake Becca and Fergus, who was in his travel cot by Becca’s bedside.
Flora traipsed sleepily into their room with her enormous stocking. ‘Happy Christmas, Mum and Dad!’ She yawned.
‘Come on!’ Max squeaked, racing back into the room to retrieve his stocking. ‘Let’s go down and open our presents!’ He looked as if he was about to spontaneously combust with enthusiasm.
They gathered around the tree, adorned with jewel-bright baubles. Carols played joyfully from the speakers and a fire crackled in the hearth. ‘Look!’ Max squealed. ‘The carrots have gone!’
‘And the whiskey is empty…’ Daisy was beside herself with excitement. ‘There’s only a few crumbs where the mince pies were!’ Their innocent disbelief was enchanting.
‘You must have all been very good this year.’ Becca smiled. ‘Look at all these presents!’ Tasha, Becca and Charlie couldn’t help but laugh as they watched the children rip open the colourful paper and shriek in disbelief at the spoils that lay hidden inside. Max and Bella, who had joined Daisy at the local primary school, had written letters to Santa for their Christmas homework. Max was delighted to find Santa had granted his wishes, convinced more than ever that he was real. Bella played along despite the rumours flying around school that Santa didn’t exist, clinging to the magical make-believe for one last time. Flora had settled in well to the follow-on secondary school, making new friends easily. She seemed much less anxious, much to both Charlie and Tasha’s relief.
After a rushed breakfast, having managed to persuade the children to get dressed in their best frocks and Christmas jumpers, they piled into two cars to drive to church for the Christmas Day service.
Before entering the church, they walked over to the far side of the graveyard, where Andrew had been laid to rest, Becca carrying Fergus in her arms.
‘Happy Christmas, Dad,’ Daisy said, placing a card she had made on her father’s grave.
‘Happy Christmas, darling,’ Becca repeated as she stepped forward to rest a wreath of holly at the foot of Andrew’s gravestone. They paused, each of them taking a few silent minutes to pay their respects, before following Becca’s lead and making their way into the church. No matter how much time passed it was still hard to accept that he wasn’t with them.
After the service
Stephen and Caroline were due to join them for their first Christmas in their new home. Never a day went by without Tasha thanking her lucky stars for their new life in the country. The space, the peace and quiet, the beauty of their surroundings: it was the stuff of dreams, and they both agreed it was the best decision that they had ever made. It was the perfect place to start the rest of their lives together, their own happily ever after.
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Acknowledgements
Thank you to all of my wonderful readers for sharing this story with me. I really hope you enjoyed it. Writing this book has been rather a roller coaster journey! I started writing it when my daughter was three-months-old and finished the first draft seven months later. The following months were spent editing and copy editing, and, as I write these words and put the finishing touches to the manuscript, my daughter is now one. I remember reading an article by a fellow author while I was pregnant, saying something along the lines of ‘you’d have to be mad to try and write a book on maternity leave.’ With a contract already signed and a deadline agreed, I wondered whether I had bitten off more than I could chew! I am incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful support network of friends and family, all of whom, along with my editor and my agent, have enabled me to finish this book, whether through helping with childcare, the writing process itself, or offering moral support and encouragement.
It has been challenging but incredibly rewarding at the same time. The book is dedicated to my family: to my parents, Adam and Polly, and my siblings Sophie, Emma and Robert, as well as to my husband Tom and our daughter Camilla. I’d like to thank my parents for everything they have done, and continue to do, for us all, and for being such wonderful grandparents. To my siblings, thank you for all the laughs, the camaraderie, and the support. Emma, Sophie and Mum, you are always the best sounding boards when I am plotting my books, thank you for all your help, for all the drafts you have read and for all your advice and ideas. Tom you have been my greatest support, as always, and Camilla, thank you for being the best baby we could possibly have wished for.
The Distance Between Us Page 28