by S M Mala
‘It’s all pretend. Don’t fall for it.’
She knew he was right, but she couldn’t help how she felt and it was getting worse with each day that passed.
And he was staying round her home now. His flat in Holland Park had been abandoned because Jamie preferred her place.
It felt so right.
‘Squirrel, don’t look so worried,’ she said, seeing him frown. ‘I know Jamie’s going away in February, and I’m not sure where I fit in, if at all. This is like a little piece of happiness I’ve not experienced for a long time, and I like it.’
‘But sweetie, you’re vulnerable,’ he whispered, squeezing her arm. ‘I don’t want to see you upset.’
She closed her eyes and heard the chatter all around her, taking in the sounds of loud laughs and words floating around the air. When she opened her eyes, she looked at Squirrel.
‘You’re not falling for him, are you? Molly?’
‘Will you stop?’ Molly avoided eye contact.
Jamie came back, laughing with a mature, curvaceous woman with very light ash blonde hair. She turned to look at Molly.
Her heart was starting to pound hard when he looked at her, and a grin would instantly appear on his lips.
‘This is my fiancé,’ he said proudly. ‘Molly this is Doris. She’s the wife of one of the big boxing promoters.’
‘Hello,’ Molly said, standing up and shaking the woman’s hand.
‘You’re right, she’s gorgeous and related to Squirrel,’ Doris laughed and patted Squirrel’s head. ‘Must be beautiful genes in your family.’
‘We lack a lot of common sense,’ her cousin whispered before grabbing Doris’s hand. ‘You look hot. When are you going to leave Barry and come away with me?’
‘When you can show me that monogamy is your thing, and you can spell it. Now who’d have thought Jamie would get himself engaged and so soon? You know what his reputation is like.’
‘Which is what?’ Molly asked and looked at Jamie rolling his eyes.
‘Never alone this one. Always has a pretty girl on his arm even if they are with someone else,’ Doris laughed out. ‘But I can tell, you’re for keeps.’
‘Approximately five weeks,’ mumbled Squirrel so only Molly could hear. She flicked him a dirty look. ‘Sell by date on everything.’
‘Squirrel, can you escort Doris back for me? And no frisking her, do you hear?’ Jamie said, planting a kiss on the woman’s cheek.
He sat down and put his arm around Molly’s waist, pulling her closer.
‘I get lots of compliments about you, you strange looking goddess,’ he said, kissing her cheek. ‘What was Squirrel saying?’
‘Being a concerned family member,’ she smiled, rubbing her fingers against his newly shaved skin.
‘Why’s he concerned?’
‘Just is.’
‘I’m never, ever, going again!’
Molly had only recovered from seeing the blood run down someone’s face after a knockout punch. ‘And it’s too graphic!’
Jamie had laughed all the way home. He thought her reaction was funny, but she was scared.
‘And you go and punch in these rings?’ she said, opening the front door to her flat. ‘They punch you that hard?’
‘Molly, Molly, Molly,’ he sighed, helping her to open the door. ‘I don’t get hurt and I hardly ever bleed.’
‘Hardly!’ she snapped, feeling the rise of annoyance in her voice. ‘And the sound of the punching? It’s horrific!’
‘I only punch in the gyms and not for anyone to watch,’ he said, walking into the kitchen. ‘I thought you were going to faint.’
‘I was!’
He started to laugh and handed her a glass of brandy which she knocked back quickly.
‘I’m not cut out to go to boxing events,’ she said, shaking her head.
‘What about kick boxing? We do that too.’
‘No!’
He took the glass out of her hand and lunged for her mouth, kissing her passionately before slipping his tongue in. She was wound up with feelings of love, worry and despair.
Speaking to Squirrel had left her on edge.
Jamie wasn’t the commitment type of guy. Molly was preparing herself.
He stopped and looked at her.
‘What’s wrong?’ Jamie gently asked. ‘You seem a little wound up.’
‘I’m fine.’
‘You’re not.’
‘Jamie?’ She wanted to ask him again if he was going to blow her out on 31st January, never to see her again. Then she realised that would be too full on, and he’d hate it. ‘I know this-.’
Her phone started to ring, and she shook her head.
It was a sign to shut up.
‘Ignore it,’ he said, nuzzling in her neck. ‘What were you going to say?’
Then her landline started to ring at the same time. Her answer machine clicked on.
That’s when she got a shock.
‘Pick up Molly,’ he said in his gay Scottish tone. ‘I want to speak to you. And no Christmas card again this year? Are you still mad with me?’
‘Fuck off,’ she said, instantly riled on hearing her old agent’s voice. ‘Only he’d have the gall to call over Christmas.’
‘I take it he’s gay too?’ laughed Jamie then, she noticed he pulled a face. ‘You have the same expression when I mention that ugly ex of yours.’
‘I need to speak you, young lady, and it’s very urgent. I will hound you until you decide to return the call. Sam said you were not willing to talk, so heaven knows what you’re up to. And what are you up to? A little dickie bird tells me you have plans. Want to tell old Uncle Hamish? Ring me.’
‘And he is whom?’ asked Jamie, frowning.
‘My ex-agent who dumped me as soon as it kicked off, taking a chunk of my money in the process. I introduced him to Sam, and he took him on. They’re bosom buddies.’ Molly threw herself on the sofa. ‘I’m not speaking to him either.’
‘I’m getting the distinct impression that communication skills are not one of your strengths.’
‘What are they going to tell me?’ She folded her arms across her chest. ‘In all these years no word and now I’m popular? Where were they when all the doors were shutting in my face? Nowhere.’
‘But I’m here.’
‘Sure you are,’ she said, standing up and trying not to get upset. ‘And for how long? 31st January will be the last day I set eyes on you, and then that’s it too. Another brief chapter that amounts to fuck all!’
Knowing she was angry on hearing Hamish’s voice, Molly marched into the bathroom and took off her clothes before angrily brushing her teeth. She did spit blood afterwards as she’d taken out her annoyance on her own gums. Then she saw Jamie standing at the door.
‘What did he mean you’re up to something?’ he asked, stepping in then taking off his clothing.
‘I’m trying to get back into the business and I have some ideas. Obviously Hamish has heard about it and wants to make sure he gets a slice of the action. It probably won’t amount to much, but they are hawks when it comes to the idea of getting something for nothing.’ She took a deep breath, turning to face him. ‘You see, I don’t want to see Hamish or Sam or anyone. And the reason is that I’ve failed. I am a one hundred percent failure, and I have nothing to show for it.’
‘That’s not true,’ he gently said, stepping closer.
‘I want to be successful, not for the money but for me,’ she said pointing to her chest. ‘My self-esteem, my self-worth. I mean look at us. You’re paying me to pretend to be your fiancé. Do you know how shit my love life has been?’ Jamie nodded. ‘Someone has to give me money to be with them because they wouldn’t naturally find me attractive. That’s what you said all those weeks back. You wouldn’t give me a second look, and now you are because you’re probably desperate for a fuck!’
‘Ah,’ he said, nodding once again in agreement then taking her hand, walking her into the bedroom.
She sat on the bed, shaking her head from side to side.
‘You’re right,’ he said, sinking to his knees in front of her. ‘I am gagging for it.’ Molly half smiled. ‘But I’m desperate to have sex with you. I wouldn’t have given you a second look.’
‘You see!’
‘But I certainly would have given you a third, fourth and fifth glance.’
‘You’re trying to make me feel better.’
‘Stop running away and face up to these fuckers who used and abused you.’ Jamie sat up on his knees, looking into her eyes. ‘Which means I do have something in common with them. I want to use and abuse you too but in a completely different way.’
He took her face in his hands and kissed her gently on the lips.
‘Next week, I want you to speak to this Hamish and arrange to talk to Sam after the festive period. I don’t want him to whip out the mistletoe then thinking he can have his wicked way with you.’
‘I don’t love him. It’s fear and anger.’
‘You need to channel that into something positive.’
‘I’m trying, I am.’
‘Or into someone.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Have faith in another human being and you never know.’
Molly placed her head against his bare chest and sighed.
‘I know that until I have the guts to face these people, I’m scared and stuffed.’
‘Talking about stuffed,’ laughed Jamie, moving his lips closer to hers. ‘I think I know a way to relax you.’
‘Okay, this is good.’
Molly was eating ice cream. ‘I think this is a good sort of stuffing.’
They were sat on her sofa, Jamie feeding her ice cream and Christmas chocolate log as she smiled.
He was a near perfect man.
‘You’re good at doing the right thing,’ she grinned as he had a spoonful.
‘And I’m good at doing the wrong thing, which is the story of my life.’
‘I’m going to pull my shit together and face everyone head on.’
‘When?’
‘After Christmas.’
Molly had to prepare herself for the worst possible scenario.
‘Have you got a secret that’s going to come out?’ he asked quietly, moving closer.
‘If I had, it’d be very boring.’
Jamie put the bowl down and licked the spoon. He then pushed her back, kissing her nose.
‘I don’t think you’re boring. Now, I’ve licked this spoon, and I intend to lick you. Can I place my lips on other parts of your body? I think I’ve been very good at holding out.’
‘Lick me all over.’
He grinned then pulled her up, dragging her to the bedroom. Jamie slipped off her dressing gown as she went under the covers. Then he took off his underpants, standing proudly in the middle of the room.
‘Yes, you have a fit body,’ she sighed watching him start to pose as a body builder. ‘You’re extremely slim but with muscles in all the right places.’ Then he managed to make his dick move up and down. ‘I’ve not forgotten about that.’ Molly laughed. ‘It’s your main muscle.’
‘Ah, that’s where you’re wrong.’ He got under the covers, pulling her closer. ‘My main muscle is my heart.’
‘Do you have one?’
‘I do.’
Molly touched Jamie’s face then kissed him, tasting his lips.
‘And you know what?’ he said, looking into her eyes. ‘It’s very precious to me but when I give it to someone else, it’s the most important thing I can do.’ Then he giggled. ‘But that’s after I use my second muscle on someone.’
He kissed her again, slipping his tongue in her mouth, and his hands gently caressed her side. She stroked his back and squeezed his arse as he rolled on top.
Then it started to get heavier.
The kisses were longer, and when he moved his mouth away from her lips, she felt him squeeze her breasts. Slowly, he placed kisses all the way down and licked her nipples. Jamie was then starting gently to suck and nibble.
Molly was getting turned on as he went from one to the other before one of his hands caressed her buttock then stroked the front of her thighs. She parted them, wanting him to touch her, and he did.
Slowly, he glided his finger over the top of her legs before placing a hand between them.
She opened her eyes and looked down. Jamie started to kiss all over her stomach. Molly stretched up her arms and arched her spine, knowing where his mouth was going. All the time he moved very gently, kissing her inner thighs and licking her groin. He then parted her lips and started licking her nub with the end of his tongue.
Gulping for air, it had been forever since someone had done this, and she knew that an explosion would happen soon.
‘Jamie,’ she gasped. ‘I need to do the same to you.’
He moved his body quickly around and she opened her mouth to take him in while his head dived between her legs. Both of them were working their mouths to pleasure each other, and Molly knew she was going to come.
His tongue licked her while his mouth chewed and flicked her around.
Nearly choking at what was between her lips, she came, yelling out her orgasm, feeling that he was pushing her further. Another one happened and another one.
Her body was shaking then James groaned, and she pulled him out of her mouth, watching him spurt over her breasts and down her stomach.
As she looked down, she could see Jamie peering at her.
‘Peek a boo,’ he said, grinning. ‘Now what do we do next?’
‘You don’t have to take me.’
Molly was watching Jamie check himself out in the mirror. ‘It’s New Year’s Eve.’
‘And why wouldn’t I want to spend it with you?’ he asked and flicked her a glance. ‘Are you going in your underwear?’
‘I’ll get dressed in a minute.’ She was unsure about the party. ‘All your friends will be there.’
‘And Squirrel.’
‘We’ve only got a month left!’
He stopped what he was doing and turned to face her.
‘What’s bothering you?’ Jamie grinned, walking closer to her. ‘I’ve practically camped out here for weeks and facilitated every one of your needs, except the big one. Are you saving that as your last ditch attempt to keep me in your arms?’ He reached out and held her hand. ‘Yes, one month left and then you get money to pay for your building work and that holiday you keep going on about.’
‘It’s not about that.’
‘I think you find it is.’
‘Well, it’s not.’
‘Erm…’ he said, sighing loudly. ‘You’re doing this for free?’
‘I haven’t done much.’
‘You have.’
She examined the gorgeous man standing in front of her, looking very dapper in his suit.
‘I expect you can’t wait to go back to being single?’ she asked, shrugging and pretending to act as if she didn’t care then looking at her left hand. ‘Do I have to get the ring cleaned or will it dissolve?’
‘Give it back when you want.’ Jamie wrapped his arms around her. ‘This was a short term arrangement, and we’re having fun getting to know each other, aren’t we?’
There was no point replying.
Molly knew he wanted it to end sooner than later.
‘I’m going to get dressed,’ she said, stepping away and walking to the bathroom. ‘But first I have to apply war paint for the evening.’
Closing the bathroom door, she looked at herself in the mirror and could see her hurt expression.
‘Fool,’ she whispered to herself, shaking her head and starting to prepare her face.
The plus side was that she felt stronger to deal with Sam and Hamish the following week, leaving a message for her ex-agent saying she was willing to speak to him. Molly had to point out that she wasn’t going to speak to Sam, just yet.
And Bill had emailed her to say that there was real interest in her i
deas for Bert the Baboon. She desperately wanted to tell Jamie but was sworn to secrecy.
Also, she didn’t want to know anything about Chloe and if he’d seen her recently. Jamie was good at keeping those things close to his chest.
Glancing in the mirror, she walked back to the bedroom to find he wasn’t there and pulled out a dress she liked and rarely wore.
It was pink, but the simple style was pretty, and it’d hide her Christmas food consumption. When she slipped the dress on, Molly was shocked to see it wasn’t tight and, for once, it hung perfectly. She knew it was down to the boxing gym but didn’t want to give credit to ‘Punch Box’ for a change to her shape.
Checking she looked half decent; Molly walked into her living room, and Jamie was standing with a glass of champagne in his hand.
‘Fuck me!’ he gasped. ‘You look gorgeous.’
‘Can’t you say something nice?’ she laughed, taking the drink he was holding out.
‘You’re gorgeous and fuck me!’
‘I know what you mean,’ she grinned as he smiled cheekily at her. ‘But I’m sure, soon enough, you’ll be doing plenty of that on holiday.’
Jamie raised his glass and sighed.
‘I’d like to raise a toast. To Molly and me. The best fake couple in the world!’
‘And to you, for not getting your head kicked in because you can’t keep it in your pants when it comes to other people’s women.’
‘To that too, I salute you!’
‘And to me as I might, just might, be finding a way forward when it comes to work with a little help from friends.’ She smiled, and Jamie looked momentarily confused. ‘When it’s all definite I’ll tell you.’
They sipped their drinks then Jamie took the glass out of her hand and put it down, holding her hands tightly.
‘Four weeks on Saturday we split,’ he said quietly. ‘Doesn’t mean I won’t want to see you again.’ Molly let out a long sigh and shook her head from side to side. ‘What does that mean?’
‘Dunno,’ she said, suspecting it was a false promise. ‘Come on, let’s go and say goodbye to this year. The cab should be here.’
She got her new thick black shawl, courtesy of Sienna, and draped it over her shoulders before checking her lipstick in the mirror. When she turned to see if Jamie was ready, he hadn’t moved.