“Amanda, honey, come on in. Your dad needs you,” her mother’s voice called. “You’ve been under that tree all morning.”
She slowly opened her eyes to see bright green leaves dancing above her. She smiled, remembering the lazy summer days spent under this very tree when she was a child. Then she saw the fresh mound of dirt covering the spot where they had buried Captain, her favorite dog.
“Low blow, Loki. Low blow,” she muttered under her breath with a half laugh. She thought she heard him cackle in response, and it gave her the impetus she needed to carry on.
“Coming, Mama.” Amanda rose from the ground, surprised to see a child-like frame. This was going to be tougher than she thought. Unsure of her little girl legs, she moved carefully at first. Then laughing out loud and skipping across the lawn, she did a cartwheel landing on both feet.
Slowly, she climbed the stone steps to the porch and reached for the screen door. Hearing the familiar creak as it opened and the definitive slam as it closed, she stepped into the cool darkness of her childhood home. Everything was perfect and exactly as she remembered. She ran from room to room laughing, touching familiar objects. As she reached her bedroom, she ran and flopped face down on her bed, squealing with delight. Her dolls and stuffed animals crowded around her on the soft, well-worn quilt.
“Amanda! What is all the carrying on about?” her mother asked, the click of her heels loud as she entered the room.
She turned to see her mother standing beside her. She was even more beautiful than Amanda had remembered. She jumped up and flung her arms around her mother’s neck, holding her tightly.
“What is it? Are you ill, too?” her mother asked with concern evident in her tone.
Amanda realized today was the day. Her mother would leave with Megan and soon her father would be gone forever.
“Don’t go, Mama. Stay home with me and Daddy. Please,” she wheedled, knowing well what the future held for them all.
“Darling, I’ll be back soon. You and your father will have fun. He’s working on a project. You know how much you like to help him.” Unaware of the drama that had already been set in motion, her mother was unconcerned.
“No, Mama, no! Please don’t go.” Amanda held her mother tightly.
Lifting Amanda’s hands from her shoulders, her mother stepped back. “I must go, sweetheart, or we’ll be late for your sister’s appointment. I know you’re sad about Captain, maybe a nap will help. You stay here in bed now. I’ll tell your father to check on you later.”
Sighing, she lay back against her pillows and watched her mother leave. As she listened to the car heading down the gravel drive, the acrid smell of melting plastic filled her nose, a scent she could never forget. Her hand trembled as she placed it against the wall, feeling the heat seep into her palm.
****
Cameron wandered restlessly as Amanda’s words ran through his head. Was he ready to face the pain? More importantly, was he ready to let it all go? He had held on to his agony for so long that it was almost a permanent part of him—the part that made him feel alive. Since Amanda had come into his life, everything had changed. He would be free soon. Free to live again, to be with her, to love her. Why did that seem even more frightening than the thought of remaining in the loveless prison he had come to know so well?
“Camin!” Cam heard the nickname his sister had used and, feeling a delicate arm slip around his shoulders, his heart stopped, “Why so sad, brother?”
He raised his head slowly, keeping his eyes tightly closed. Turning his head toward her, he forced himself to look. Seeing the innocent blue eyes of his sister looking at him with such love was almost more than he could bear.
“Elise, I love you so much.” Cam’s voice was barely audible, the emotion drowning out his words.
“I love you, too, silly. Now tell me what is troubling you.”
“I—I need to save you and I don’t know how.”
“Yes, you do,” she said as she took his hand and looked at him with knowing eyes. “It is quite simple really. You just have to let go. Let go of the hurt, the anger, the guilt, and let go of me.”
“But I do not want to let you go. I want to see you happy and free. Grown up and married with children all around you.”
“That is your dream, Camin. It is too late for me. Do not be sad, I am at peace.”
“I never meant for your life to end this way. If I had known I—what happened?”
“You could not possibly have known. You were already trapped and, anyway, maybe it is best kept in the past.” A shadow of despair flitted across Elise’s lovely face.
He shook his head mournfully before dropping it into his hands. “All I remember is our mother’s tears as she searched the mirror looking for comfort that I could not give her. She told me that you were gone and that our father followed soon after. That is all I know.” He spoke almost robotically.
Elise took a deep breath and appeared to be gathering her courage before she spoke. “It was not long after Brita left that Fenny came to me. I was alone and mourning the loss of both you and Brita. He was so handsome and so clever. I did not know at the time that Loki had sent him to torture me. He visited me whenever I was alone, and I so wanted to believe that he cared.”
Cam could feel the anger building inside him as his sister recounted her tale. He could see the tears wetting her lashes as she continued.
“One night after many months, he came to my bed. I had been dreaming of him when he appeared beside me. By then, we had already fallen deeply in love.”
“Please, little sister, tell me no more,” he begged, but Elise continued on.
“I knew it was wrong, but it felt so right. He promised to take care with me but our desire overruled our common sense and, well, how was I to know his love was poison,” she asked helplessly.
“I will kill him and his father!” Cam vowed, jumping to his feet.
Elise brushed a lock of hair from her brother’s forehead and smiled. “You mustn’t. I still love him and he loves me. The poison will kill me if I leave here. Fenny keeps me here so we can be together. It is the only way.”
Lilah and Peter stepped into view. Cam saw the mantle of despair heavily draping the shoulders of both his parents. Elise flung herself into her mother’s arms, weeping with joy. Peter wrapped his arms around both women, crying unabashedly.
Cam watched the scene unfolding before him as if he were watching from the reflecting pool or from still inside the mirror. All the pain and guilt he felt suddenly seemed as though it belonged to someone else. How could this be possible?
“Cameron!” Lilah’s voice was firm as she shook him from the fog of his recollections. “Please come here.”
Slowly he raised his tired body and moved toward his family.
“Your sister has made her choice and we will abide by her decision. She wants to stay here with Fenny.”
“Mother that is unacceptable and you know it. Better she come to Valhalla in spirit than remain in this awful place,” Cam protested, his eyes full of anguish.
“I don’t think you are listening, son.” His father clasped his shoulder, squeezing firmly as he spoke. “It is her decision not ours. Love is always about the other person’s happiness.”
Just then, Gavin, Brita, and Astrid returned. Hugs, kisses and smiles filled the desolate space. But as Fenny materialized beside Elise, everyone’s festive mood evaporated.
“You see, MacKenzie, I do understand how you feel.” Fenny smiled lovingly at Elise as he took her hand.
Cameron saw his sister’s face light with joy and took a deep breath before speaking. “Elise, are you sure?”
“Well, of course she is sure. Everyone here seems to understand what love is except for you, Cameron.” Freya’s voice was tender beneath her caustic delivery.
Everyone looked at him expectantly. Suddenly, he didn’t care. All he could think about was Amanda.
“Freya! Where is Amanda? You promised to watch out for her.”
“And so I shall. She was just taking a nap when I left her. So cute, really, stuffed animals all around—”
“You fool!” he shouted, forgetting that the woman could destroy most in their world.
Cam closed his eyes and emptied his mind, hoping to catch a glimpse. At first, all he saw was gray and then just a flicker of flame lighting the dense smoke.
****
The fire was burning hot and Amanda could hear her father calling her name. The thick smoke filled her lungs and she struggled for air as the room grew darker.
She saw her father silhouetted against the flames that rushed toward her doorway and tried to send him back. “Daddy, please go. I can’t watch you die again.” The words were only in her mind, he could not hear her. She watched in horror as he wrapped his body in the heavy damask drapes from the bedroom across the hall. Soon he would reach her and toss her out the window to the shrubs below.
“Daddy, please. I am here to save you,” she begged him fruitlessly.
Her father looked down on her lovingly as he stood beside her bed. “Mandy, you can’t save me. I’m already gone. You are here to save yourself.”
“But, Daddy, you don’t understand. I have to get you out of here. I know I can’t bring you back, but I can’t stand the idea of you lingering in this awful place.”
Her father sat on the edge of her bed and stroked her little girl hair from her face. “Sweetheart, it’s time for you to let go of the pain that you cling to so tightly and live your own life.”
The tears rolled down her cheeks as she searched her father’s eyes. “Daddy, can you ever forgive me?”
“Forgive you? For what? You are my child and I would give my life for you over and over again. It was a terrible accident, nothing more.” Her father’s voice was firm and brooked no argument.
Amanda sobbed uncontrollably, the heat and smoke choking her, as her father lifted her into his arms and moved toward the window. He stopped and she could see their reflection in the glass. She could see something else, too. Cameron waited for her in the shade of the big oak tree.
“Go to him, Mandy. Free yourself and they will have no reason to keep me here. He loves you, but you have to believe,” he spoke to her softly.
“I’m scared, Daddy. What if it’s all a lie? How will I ever survive losing him too?”
Smiling, her father set her down on the floor and opened the window. He held her tightly and kissed her on the forehead. “We can never know anything for sure, honey. But if you believe, anything is possible.”
Amanda looked up into her father’s eyes, seeing the unconditional love within them. She hugged him tightly and whispered, “I love you, Daddy.”
She turned back to the window where Cameron stood below, his arms waiting to catch her. Her tiny body climbed up on the window ledge. She reached for her father to steady her but he was already gone. Smiling down at Cam, she stretched her arms wide and floated down into his waiting embrace.
Chapter Eighteen
Cameron held Amanda tenderly as she wept in his arms. He soothed her with soft whispers that caressed her now adult and very tired body. She breathed deeply of the fresh clean air and let the peace of this moment fill her soul. Their intimacy was interrupted as his family appeared around them. Helena had also joined them. Hope and anticipation hung in the air.
Freya walked toward the couple under the tree and reached out her hand to help Amanda rise. Taking her hand, the two walked in companionable silence away from the group.
“Amanda, I am impressed. You have not only confronted your fears, but you defeated them as well. You are a strong, beautiful woman, who has taught me a great deal about the tenacity of mortals—and the power of love. I would be proud to welcome you into this family.”
“Freya that is kind of you to say, but…” Amanda began.
“But nothing, stop doubting yourself. Lesson one: a goddess never wavers, my dear.”
“Good thing I’m not a goddess then,” Amanda laughed little nervously.
“You and Cameron are free and it is time to make a decision. Once you leave this place, you have only one day to break the curse.”
“I know. I love him with all my heart but I need to tell my family. Tie up some loose ends. I have responsibilities, a life.” Amanda evaded the real issue with earth-bound excuses.
“My dear sweet girl, there is nothing you need to do except love each other.” Freya’s tone softened as she looked at Amanda with love in her eyes.
She felt the tears welling up in her eyes. “I am afraid,” she admitted softly.
“Well of course you are, dear. We are all afraid. But if you do not take this chance, you will never know the joy that love can bring. Fear is easy. Pain is easy. Love, happiness, bliss—not so easy.” Freya’s musical laughter did little to hide her own intimate knowledge of pain.
****
The ornate golden door Fenny created was a bit of overkill, but he seemed pleased with himself, so Amanda stifled her nervous laughter. Cam glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and winked. The simple gesture filled her with so much love. She took his hand in hers and walked assuredly through the gaudy portal.
The sun shone brightly on their faces as they walked quietly along the sand. The bright blue-green water lapped gently against the shore as they moved side by side toward their fate.
How long had they been together—days, weeks, months? Or had it been forever? What did they really know about one another—nothing or everything?
She loved him so much, but how could she be sure he was the one for her. How could she ever be enough for him? He was an immortal, a demigod, and she was just a complicated mortal woman with a good heart. Eternity was a long time to keep someone happy and satisfied. Damn! What was it Freya had said? “Do not try to make him happy, just love him.”
She gathered her courage and began to speak, “I love you. I feel it so deeply within my heart, but somehow those words don’t even begin to express what I feel for you.”
“Amanda,” Cam’s whisper caressed her as he turned to face her. “I know that you’re afraid. I can feel it. We have time and I want to do what I can to ease your doubt. I want you to be sure. This is forever.”
“I am not afraid of being with you forever nor am I afraid of a new life, I am not even afraid of the blood ritual. I am afraid of—” she broke off, afraid to share her innermost thoughts with him.
“What is it, darling? Your fears are safe with me. I love you and I want nothing more than your happiness. You must trust me to keep your heart in my care. “
She knew he was right, but the fear of giving herself to someone so completely seemed suffocating to her. So many years of pain and distrust had left her afraid to love.
“I have held on so tightly to my freedom and my determination to make my own way—I don’t know how to let someone in. I don’t know how not to be strong,” she confessed with embarrassment.
“Darling, surrender is not about weakness. It is about being courageous enough to choose your life, to allow the love in.”
Amanda let go of Cameron’s hand and walked to the edge of the sea. Lifting her face, she closed her eyes and let the sun bathe her with warmth. The glow lit the back of her eyelids and filled her with peace. For the first time in her life, she knew what she wanted. She wanted Cam. The years of uncertainty and fear began to drain away from her as she welcomed the sureness of her destiny into her heart.
****
Cam created a brass pergola atop a cliff that was low to the beach. White gossamer curtains surrounded the structure and moved sinuously in the gentle breeze. Inside, an enormous down-filled bed strewn with silken pillows filled the space. As they walked toward it, he draped Amanda in a delicate white silk gown. The silk clung to her curves and slid sensually over her skin. With each step, her nipples grew harder and the dampness between her thighs increased. She was becoming so aroused that a small gasp of anticipation escaped her lips.
She knew that Cam c
ould see the peaks of her nipples pressing against the slippery fabric and could smell her desire. She moaned softly as the ache building inside of her clamped down harder, almost bringing her to her knees. Amanda’s breathing was rapid and her heart was pounding in her chest. Cam lifted her into his arms to carry her up the short flight of steps to the bed. Her arms encircled his neck and she rested her head against his shoulder, relaxing into him.
Amanda felt no fear, only the peacefulness of their love. Being in his arms was exactly where she was supposed to be. She buried her face in his neck and breathed deeply of his masculine scent. The spiciness of his skin and the smell of the sea filled her senses. His heart was beating against the side of her breast and her own heart responded as her desire grew.
Cam kissed Amanda deeply before laying her down on the bed. Tugging his linen shirt over his head, he tossed it aside and joined her. Her eyes searched his face as her usual feelings of inadequacy tried to force their way in.
“Just relax, baby. We are together and we love each other. For now it is enough.”
Amanda took Cam’s face in her hands and stroked his face lightly with her fingertips to memorize every detail. If something did go wrong, she wanted to remember everything, every second of their time together. She saw her fear mirrored in his eyes. She knew the risks they were facing, but better no life at all than a life without him in it.
Cam opened his mouth to speak, but Amanda placed her thumb gently against his lips to stop him. He kissed gently at it and then tenderly caught her skin between his teeth. She felt an electrifying desire shoot through her nerve endings, branching out and suffusing all of her with fire. She whimpered and pulled his head down to hers as Cam hungrily claimed her mouth.
His tongue slid between her lips, moving slowly, swirling and sliding against hers. Amanda moaned into his mouth and he deepened the kiss. Pressing her into the pillows, he thrust his tongue deeper, claiming her very being as his own. He slid the length of his body over her and his hard muscles rippled under her hands as she slid them down his back. His moist skin was smooth beneath her palms and she reveled in the feel of it. Cupping his firm buttocks, she pulled hard, forcing his hips closer against her. The heat and hardness of him slid against the fabric of her dress that barely covered her soft wetness. The ache inside her was painfully strong and her need was escalating out of control.
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