“Skulking bastard,” said the angry voice of a fierce woman. She raised her volume and barked after the rejected man, “Yeah, you better scurry faster, George, before someone bashes you with the rock you hide under.”
Though he hadn’t seen her approach, Lex wasn’t surprised by the presence behind him. This is only getting better. Lex felt the itch of irritation, like sandpaper against his skin. I need to get to Tally before Jazz does. Wasting no time, he darted through the open door toward the slender woman inside the office.
“Oh, no, you don’t, Lexi Love,” Jazz said with a guffaw, close on his heels.
Ignoring the boisterous Texan, the anxious man pleaded his case. “I’m so sorry, Tally. I stepped away for only a moment –”
The graceful lady raised a dainty hand, halting his apology. “It’s okay, Lexi. You’re my assistant, not my body guard.”
“Don’t let him off the hook that easy,” Jazz said, turning a sharp eye toward the Adrien Brody look-alike in front of her. “Where were you?”
“What’s it to you, Jazz? Why are you even here? There’s a whole floor full of employees. Surely, you can bother some else.”
Jazz straightened with delight, ardently meeting his challenge. “I’m Tally’s best friend, here to comfort her as an equal, while you – you’re just her peon. At least inside these walls you are.”
“Jazz, stop,” Tally implored with a roll of her coppery eyes. She threw her hands into the air, exasperated with the ritual peacocking of her closest friends.
“Oh, and let’s not forget, Lexi Love, that at work, I’m Mrs. Shallot.”
Lex met her defiant glare with one of his own. “And don’t you forget about the presence of HR in the workplace, Mrs. Shallot.”
Tally dropped into her cushy desk chair with a heavy sigh as Jazz snickered happily and said, “Nice deflection, but let’s get back to the real issue here – where were you, princess?”
“I had to pee, if you must know.”
“Can’t you hold your liquids?” Jazz tipped her head to the side, her azure eyes sparkling with excitement.
Before Lex could get too ruffled, Tally ended the game of dominance. “Enough! I neither have the time nor the interest in your petty rivalry today. When are you going to stop trying to compete with one another? Geez, grow up already; there’s nothing to be jealous about. I love you both… just not at this exact moment.”
Jazz and Lex looked askance at one another, surprised by their friend’s level of annoyance. Tally rubbed her temples to ease the strain. Wow, she’s really flustered. I wish I’d been able to shelter her from that jackass. Stabbing guilt penetrated Lex’s emotional armor. “Again, I’m sorry, Tally.”
“Yeah,” Jazz added. “I’m sorry, too.” Though Lex knew she was sincere, he also knew her restraint wouldn’t hold. “Do you want me to fire Lexi and hire a new assistant for you? I bet I could find a better candidate for the job by lunch.”
Well, that didn’t take long, he thought, sticking his tongue out at a grinning Jazz. Though he was angry at the woman’s insensitivity, he easily forgave her when he saw the corners of Tally’s mouth pull slightly upward.
“What am I to do with you? You’re both ridiculous. You know that, right?”
Chuckling, Jazz flopped into the chair across the desk from her friend, nonplussed. “That’s why you love us, dear one.”
“Must be,” Tally replied, looking more at ease. “Say, neither of you R.S.V.P.’d for my Christmas party this Saturday. You’re coming, aren’t you?”
“Of course,” Jazz said, bobbling her head a bit, an incredulous look upon her face. “Did you really have to ask?”
“Yes, she did,” Lex interjected. “Stop being so exasperating, Mrs. Shallot. As her self-proclaimed best friend” – he used his fingers to mime quotation marks in the air – “you should know she’d never assume anything. Furthermore, our Tally likes precision and order.” Puckering, he smooched in her direction, winning an air kiss in return.
“Ms. Abram,” Jazz replied easily, inspecting her nails as though she were bored.
“What?” Lex questioned. Now what’s she going on about? She is so exhausting.
“Jazz, don’t,” Tally protested. She raked her fingers through her luxurious hair, pulling it into a bunch at the back of her head. “I’m begging you to just stop.”
Jazz winked in response and then regarded Lex. “At work, it’s Ms. Abram. My, how easily you seem to forget, flunky. Perhaps switch to tea with ginseng; I hear it helps with memory.”
“You’re bi-polar, you know that? You should really get some help.” Ugh, I hate when she gets all stupid and uppity like this. Vexed, he closed his eyes momentarily and pinched the bridge of his nose. Haughty, yeah, that’s what she is – haughty. Why are we friends? I mean, I’m not sure I even like her. Lex harrumphed as he redirected his attention toward Tally. “I received the call I was waiting for just before heading to the latrine. Thankfully, Kode doesn’t have to go out of town this weekend, so to answer your question, yes, we’ll be there. I’m sorry for the delay, but –”
“Oh, goodie,” Jazz exclaimed sarcastically. “I love Kode.”
“What’s wrong with Kode?” Tally asked, eyeing the burly woman with flaming hair.
“Nothing’s wrong with Kode,” Lex answered. “She’s just pissed she can’t have him.”
With that, Lex stormed out of his boss’s office, escorted by the hiss Jazz expelled in his wake. Sometimes I could just – he shook the folders in his hands violently as his phone began to ring. Slamming his burden on top of his desk, he sank into his seat with a sigh before lifting the receiver. “Good morning. You’ve reached the law firm of Abram, Smith, Shallot, and Gold. How can I help you?”
*****
“Why do you have to torment him like that, Jazz?” Tally demanded, frustrated with her friend even though she provided a welcome distraction from the feeling of contamination George had given her.
“Who – Lexi?” Jazz threw a thumb over her shoulder in the direction the twenty-seven year old had gone.
“No, the neighbor’s cat; yes, Lexi, you dunce.” Geez Louise. I haven’t had enough coffee for this today. I guess that’s what I get for hiring two of my closest friends to work for me, especially considering they’re like oil and water most of the time.
“Wow, George really got your panties in a bunch, didn’t he?” Jazz lifted one thick leg, clad in a navy pants suit, over the other. The color flattered her, especially contrasted against the vibrant colors of her pixie-cut, copper hair and bright blue eyes. Her white blouse emphasized her straight, pearly teeth, displayed in a grin. “All the more reason for you to take my advice and stop wearing them, don’t you think?”
Ew! Why does she have to say things like that? Tally shook her head with dismay. “You need to stop.”
“Oh, please! You know as well as he does that I’m just messing around. I adore Lexi, who’s right, by the way.”
Tally raised a sculpted eyebrow in question. “Right about what exactly?”
“Kode,” the woman replied. “His only flaw is that I can’t possess him.”
Oh, good Lord. Tally raised her hand to her forehead with a groan. She shook her head before dropping her hand over her mouth, cradling her chin with her palm. “You’re married,” she grumbled through her fingers.
“So? What’s that got to do with anything?” Jazz retorted.
“Whatever. You’re all talk, Mrs. Shallot, and I know it,” Tally remarked. She’d never cheat on her husband; not in a million years.
“It doesn’t matter if I would or wouldn’t. I mean, that’s really not the point, especially considering he’s gay.”
“What is your point?”
“That he’s just so yummy.” Lust visibly twisted her expression. “I’d love to have a taste of him. So much so I’m actually pissed I’m not his flavor. Honestly, gay or not, if he asked for a lick, I’d give him one.”
“You’re disgusting, not to menti
on inappropriate.”
“Oh, I haven’t even reached inappropriate yet,” Jazz said with an evil smirk.
Tally rolled her eyes again and gestured toward her door. “Don’t you have some work to do?” I certainly do, she noted, taking in the multitude of folders, sheaves of papers, and general clutter in front of her. Glancing at the court docket beneath the heavy glass covering her desk top, she thought, and I’m due in court in an hour.
The large red-head howled in merriment. “Of course I do, but what good is it to be a partner if I can’t slack off now and again?”
When has that ever stopped her from goofing around? “Partner of not, I’m still your boss, so can you at least try to act like you’re working.”
Jazz shrugged nonchalantly. “So, what’s up with the Christmas party? Kids – No kids? Is there anything you want me to bring?”
“Bring your Christmas cheer because I might miss the turkey and stab you with the carving knife if I have to listen to you and Lexi bickering,” Tally teased with an air of solemnity.
“You better sharpen that thing up then,” Jazz ordered with a smile, “because, as you know, I have rather thick skin.”
Tally couldn’t help chuckling. Jazz and Lexi couldn’t be more different and yet, I love both of them beyond measure.
“So, what’s the verdict? Should I bring a side dish or something?”
Like she’d cook, the tiny woman thought to herself. Who does she think she’s kidding? She’d either have Mack make it or she’d buy something premade at the grocery store. There’s nothing domestic about Jazz Shallot, except her husband. “Whatever; doesn’t really matter. It’s going to be a rather informal gathering this year. I mean, it’s not a business party; just close friends getting together to celebrate the holiday.”
“Right,” Jazz acknowledged. “It was a ‘business dinner’ last year so George could justify his attendance to his wife. I forgot.”
Tally cocked an eyebrow, sneering at her friend. “No, you didn’t.”
“No, I really didn’t.” The stoic woman wrinkled her nose before smiling. Her expression showed no signs of remorse or concern, just enjoyment.
“Geez, Jazz,” Tally mildly complained. “Why do you have to be such a bitch all the time?”
Pulling herself out of the chair she’d been nestled in and stretching to her full height of six feet-two inches, she replied, “You wouldn’t know what to do with me if I weren’t. Besides, that’s what makes me such a good lawyer.”
That’s accurate, Tally nodded in agreement. “Are we on for lunch today? I expect to get out of court around one o’clock.”
“Nah, I can’t. Unfortunately, it’s going to be just you and Lexi because I promised Mack I’d head home for a nooner.”
“Don’t you guys ever have sex when the kids are home, like normal people? I mean, they do sleep and you have doors.”
“Perhaps, but Mack’s paranoid. He walked in on his mom giving his dad a blowjob as a kid, and now, he’s terrified our children will walk in on us.”
“There’s this new invention you could use, called – get this – a lock. Perhaps you’ve heard of it?”
“Yeah, but it wouldn’t matter. You know my husband; if he didn’t have this to worry about then he’d find something else to ruminate over. I honestly think he’s just afraid of damaging our kids.”
“If either of you were going to do that, it’d be you.”
“Hmm,” Jazz sounded in affirmation, bobbing her head in agreement. “Yeah, I’m not very maternal. That’s probably why I picked a man who is. He can stay home while I make the money.”
“Seriously, though, aren’t we all damaged regardless of how we’re raised? Besides, is it really that devastating, knowing your parents have sex?”
“For a man like Mack, yes,” Jazz answered as she headed toward the door.
Mack’s a weird dude. Tally shook her head in contemplation. “But he doesn’t see a problem with his lack of apparel?” If it were up to him, the Shallots would live in a nudist colony.
Jazz shrugged. “I don’t understand your question. What’s wrong with the human form?” She continued without waiting for a response. “You know, I really don’t mind because I actually enjoy nooners. They’re a great stress-reliever, allowing me a reprieve from a hectic day at the office.”
“Well,” Tally pointed out, “you have to actually work to have work-related stress. You get that, right? I mean, the only thing hectic about your day is what you impose on me by distracting me from my responsibilities.” If she wasn’t so good at her job, I’d fire her in a heartbeat.
Jazz giggled, dismissing her boss’s seriousness and relegating it to a humorous joke. “Anyway, as I was saying, his oddity benefits me. For example, if he asks me to go down on him and I’m not in the mood, I just bring up the incident with his parents. It effectively shuts him down for at least a couple of days.”
“Wow.” I don’t know if that’s cruel or ingenious. Perhaps it’s both.
Jazz made a gesture of indifference. “It isn’t all that glamorous when you’re married, Tally. You use what you can.”
“It isn’t all that glamorous when you’re not married either.”
“Hmm,” Jazz muttered noncommittally, “but there’s something to be said for having a bathroom all to yourself.”
With that, her abrasive friend left, leaving Tally to wonder what the correlation was between sex and the bathroom. Considering my source, it could really be anything. Mack and Jazz Shallot must be the strangest couple in history, and they’re supposed to be society’s norm. Compared to them, Lex and Kode seem conventional, almost boring – and they’re gay. She scratched the back of her head before returning to her work. I’m glad they at least have each other. It saves a sane person, she thought with a mischievous grin.
Chapter 2
“Baby, I’m home,” Jazz called as she walked in through the garage door. “I only have about twenty minutes, so there’s no time for foreplay. We’ll have to get right to it.”
Stepping into the kitchen, she was met with the view of her husband’s naked ass poking out the back of his apron. He glanced over his shoulder to greet her, though he kept stirring the boiling concoction in the cooking pot on the stove. “Oh, that’s sexy,” Mack snickered. “I love when you talk dirty to me.”
“I’ll do more than talk,” Jazz playfully threatened him. She dropped her briefcase and purse haphazardly on the counter to rush forward. A sharp slap sounded through the room when she smacked his exposed skin. “I’ll eat.”
“Oh, you’ll eat alright.” Mack’s expression was infectious. The wide smile that light up his dark eyes caused hers to deepen. “I have a Big Mack right here for you.” Unable to gesture toward his junk with his hands, he jutted his pelvis forward and wiggled it playfully.
“Stop,” Jazz giggled. “You make it sound like I’m going through the McDonald’s drive-thru.”
Amused, he turned off the flame, pushing the pot to the cold burner at the rear of the range. “Well, you did come home for lunch. I’m sure I can find something to put in that beautiful mouth of yours.”
“You’re so naughty. I love it!” Jazz exclaimed, sliding her hands around her rotund man. There’s nothing fat about Mack. He’s just thick, solid, and powerful. The way a man should be. A wave of love washed over the woman as she appreciated the stocky build of her much shorter spouse. “Oh, my,” she exclaimed, “aren’t you yummy. I hope you’re on today’s menu.”
“For you, love, I’m always the meat du jour. I sort of dig you, baby.”
“Good because I sort of dig you, too.”
Nestling into his almost non-existent neck, jazz nibbled on his ebony flesh. “Hmm,” he groaned, “that feels good.”
Reaching further, she caressed his growing manhood. “Yes, it does!”
The couple chuckled as the heavily-built man turned in Jazz’s embrace. “Welcome home, my queen,” he said, pulling her closer and crushing his lips against he
rs.
*****
Tally rolled her head in a complete circle before stretching her neck by leaning it to the side. She rubbed her shoulders, trying to ease the tight pull of strained muscles. That’s one thing I miss about George; he could give one hell of a massage. She smiled ruefully at the memories flooding her mind. And that wasn’t the only skill he had for releasing my stress.
“What are you thinking about?” Lex asked.
“Nothing.”
“Uh-huh.” He raised a wine glass filled with icy water to his lips, a knowing expression on his face.
He knows me too well, she thought as the burn in her cheeks increased with the expansion of her blush. She opted to ignore his inquiry. “I’m glad Jazz couldn’t make it to lunch today. There’s something I’ve wanted to discuss with you.”
“Oh really?”
She watched him raise his glass into the space before him, indicating to the waiter that he needed a refill. As the server nodded in acknowledgment and moved to action, he turned his full attention back to her. Though she could read the curiosity in his eyes, he didn’t pressure her to continue. Instead, he remained calm; completely at ease.
I like that he isn’t one to jump to conclusions or fret about what ‘the boss’ might say. Smiling affectionately, Tally announced, “I don’t like the way Jazz treats you when we’re in the office.”
Lex waved her off with a dismissive gesture. “Don’t concern yourself. It says more about Jazz than either of us.”
“It’s not right.” They fell silent for a moment as the waiter topped their glasses with water. I shouldn’t be so lenient. Owning the controlling portion of the company, it’s my responsibility to keep harassment out of the workplace. If I can’t eliminate it amongst my closest friends, then how’s that bode for my other employees? It’s rather embarrassing when I think about it. I mean, we’re a law firm, for goodness sake!
Flawed Perfection: A Collection of Winter Wishes Page 19