I should have left then. My head screamed, Run. It is not worth this. Begin again on your own. I couldn't run away. I would accept this life. It wasn't all bad. I had a beautiful house, no money worries and he was a very giving lover. I would accept this life and pretend I believed his promises, because I had a plan of my own. I would be his happy housewife because in the end he was right, he would never hurt me again.
Everything returned to normal. He returned my credit cards. He even increased my allowance and talked about all of the vacations he wanted to take me on. Jeremy pretended nothing had happened. He wanted everything to go back to the way it was before and I promised I would do my best to make him happy. But, this time I would be smarter.
Chapter 3
Thomas had been my previous editing manager. He begged me to come back to work when I returned home. When I realized I was going to leave Jeremy, Thomas was the first person I told. The only part of the plan he knew was Step 1 – secure a job. He was ecstatic that I had come to my senses and was leaving that son of a bitch. I eagerly accepted the jobs he directed to me. In return, I would work for free for Thomas. Thomas promptly sent me several manuscripts to work on and we agreed I would not be put back on the payroll until after the divorce. When I was free, he would be sure my bonus covered any projects I had completed. It was easy to keep my job a secret. I had plenty of time in my day to edit and still take care of everything Jeremy expected.
One of the perks of my editing job was meeting interesting authors with even more interesting backgrounds. One of the first authors I worked with when I returned was Jack Winter. I had edited several of his books in the past. Jack wrote 007 type thrillers but edgier. His detailed novels came from years of undercover work as an FBI Secret Service agent. After my first edit of his latest work, he was so thrilled he said he owed me one.
I greedily took Jack up on his offer. He had once told me his specialty had been surveillance. With nothing to lose, I told him my story and asked if he could find out how much of a cheat Jeremy really was. He agreed to help me. After a month, he called and asked to meet with me to talk about my issue. He picked a place in West Hollywood. I had the driver bring me to one of the boutiques on Rodeo drive. Walking into the store, I called a cab. By the time I entered the store, grabbed the first thing off the rack I knew would fit, purchased it and left, the cabbie was waiting.
When I arrived at the restaurant, my heart was hammering. Is this what Jeremy feels like when he meets them? You are not doing anything wrong. This is not the same.
"Caitlyn?" Jack said, standing and holding out his hand. "So nice to meet you in person. I won't lie, I was expecting a librarian, not a model."
I gave him my most charming smile. "You flatter me, Mr. Winter."
He was not the only one taken back. Jack was in his late forties. His salt and pepper hair was fashionably styled and he wore a sharp, fitted navy blue suit with a silver tie. If only I wasn't married.
Then, he surprised me by pulling out my chair. Handsome and a gentleman?
Sitting across from me, his face turned serious. Sliding an envelope to me, he said, "Please, call me Jack. I’m sorry we’re meeting under these circumstances. Caitlyn, I really don't think you want to see this."
He was right. I didn't want to see this. I had to see this. "There is no fantasy in my mind that you will tell me where my husband is not a womanizer. Let me guess. This holds a picture of a big breasted blonde that is either giving or receiving pleasure, right?"
His face paled. "He’s really hurt you, hasn't he?"
I placed my hand on his, "Sweet Jack, I'm not hurt or even jaded. I’m being real. I feel liberated. You’ve done me a great favor. Now, shall we eat? My treat?"
"Are you ready to order?" The waiter appeared as if on cue.
"What are you drinking?" I pointed at Jack's drink.
"Scotch on the rocks."
"Perfect, make mine a double. And I want a steak. Rare. And mashed potatoes," I ordered. Food Jeremy would shame me for eating.
Jack stared at me in surprise. "I will take the same. The lady seems to know what she wants."
Jack and I ate our meal. We had such pleasant conversation despite the circumstances. We talked for hours. We talked about my life before Jeremy and my plans for the future. Jack was interested in why I became an editor and how I ended up in L.A. The time really passed by too quickly.
"You need to try their chocolate cake. It’s out of this world," he said, when the waiter asked if we wanted any dessert.
"Oh, I couldn't," I resisted.
"Bring us the cake. We can share," Jack said with a wink.
Jack had been right. It was the best chocolate cake I had ever had. I wasn't sure if it was the rich chocolate with the sweet cherry drizzle or the fact he fed me my first bite. As the fork slid from my lips, our eyes never left each other's.
"What did I tell you? Worth the calories?" Jack smiled and took a big bite. Handing me a fork, he said, "Go on. Help me finish it, Caitlyn."
There was something about him that excited me. He seemed so formal but there was a hint of danger. I had edited his books. I wondered how many of the steamy scenes had been real life events versus his fantastic imagination. For some reason, I wanted to find out more. It wasn't wrong, right? I was divorcing Jeremy. What would be wrong with having a little bit of fun myself? You aren't that girl, Caitlyn. Eat your cake and say your goodbyes. Yes, the little voice in my head was a damn buzz kill.
When we finished up, Jack insisted on paying the bill. Instead of calling a cab, he asserted he would drive me back to Rodeo. I was enjoying his company so much that I couldn't resist. Jack surprised me when a silver Mercedes pulled up with a driver.
Settled in the luxurious back seat, Jack slid in next to me. "Don't mind Patrick. He’s discreet, if nothing else. Are you going to open the envelope? It might be better to do it when you’re not alone."
I had been holding the manila envelope on my lap since we left the restaurant. Nervously, I peeled back the clasps and slid the photos out. Closing my eyes, I forced myself to breathe. It was worse than I had ever imagined. Three dozen photos of my husband with various women in a variety of sexual positions lay in my hands. Three months of infidelity before me. He had been busy. The most upsetting was a photo of him with one of the blondes on his desk in my house. He had been brazen enough to bring a woman into my home and have sex with her. Where was I? Was I in the house at the time. Angrily, I flipped through the rest of the photos. My stomach tightened. How many nights had he made love to me after being with these women?
Jeremy definitely had a type – oversized breasts and a vacant look of unintelligence. All of them dressed in outfits I knew he had chosen because that was Jeremy's pattern. Text. Send you a dress. Text. Send you a bracelet. Text. Seduce you. In my case, it ended with ‘marry me.’ So, what did the others get out of it, except for the jewelry? I slipped the images back into the envelope and sighed. I will not cry.
"I am sorry . . . " Jack started to say before I interrupted.
"No, I knew it was happening. There is a blonde in there that keeps reappearing. Do you have her name?" I asked, coldly.
"I do," Jack said. Reaching inside his jacket, he withdrew an envelope. He opened it and pulled out a slip of paper. The white sheet had neat handwriting on it that read: Ginger Sky. Cocktail Waitress at Sonny's Playhouse. Twenty-one. No family to speak of. Condo on Grand.
"You are kidding me right? She lives two blocks from my house. How can a cocktail waitress...?" I didn't need to finish my question. He didn't need to tell me the answer. I knew Jeremy must be paying her rent.
When we arrived at the boutique, I was shaking. "Can we drive a bit more? I’m not ready to go home yet."
"Patrick, take us on a tour. The lady is new in town," he said, winking at me.
Patrick looked at us in the mirror and nodded.
Slipping the paper back in the envelope, I forced a smile. "Thank you."
"You’ll be better
off without him, Caitlyn," Jack said. His silver eyes were so sincere.
I reached over and touched his hand. His touch sent a chill through me which only added to the warmth building inside me. I let my hand slip onto his leg, leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "You didn't let me pay for dinner. How can I ever pay you back for all you’ve done?"
"You don't owe me or anyone else a damn thing," he said, cupping my face. His eyes shone with a silver spark of anger.
It was as if my mind left my body. I leaned in and kissed him. At first, I could feel his hesitation but he relented and pulled me into his arms, kissing me back. He tasted sweet, like the cake we had just shared. With my senses heightened, I inhaled his musky cologne. His kiss was like none I had ever shared before. It was a long, slow kiss. He didn't jam his tongue down my throat. Instead, it was tender and loving. It was the kind of kiss you saw in the old movies . . . the kind I had always dreamed of.
Sliding onto his lap, I pushed myself against him. His hardness pressed against me as I began to kiss his neck. When I returned to his mouth, he stroked his hands along my back. Breaking away, he began to trail his lips down my décolletage. I reached down to unbuckle his belt. The ache in me was building and I wanted Jack. Now. No feeling of shame. Just sweet release. He held my hand, stopping me and gently slid me off of him.
My heart was beating uncontrollably. "Why did you stop us? Don’t you think I’m sexy enough, like all of Jeremy's whores? I know you want this, too."
"It is not that, Caitlyn. I would want nothing more than to whisk you off to my bed and make love to you for hours. We could have a quick one right now but you know this is wrong. The time isn’t right. This isn't you. This isn't what you want," he said, softly. "You’re better than him, Caitlyn. You would regret these ten minutes of desire for the rest of your life."
He was right. I was better than Jeremy. I shifted back to my seat and we rode in silence. After a few minutes, he reached over and put his hand on mine. The small touch, the small act of tenderness filled my heart more than what I had almost tempted him to do. Tears fell from my eyes.
Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a white handkerchief. "Here. This is clean."
When he dropped me off at the boutique, I kissed him on the cheek and crushed the handkerchief into his hand. "Thank you, again. For everything."
"If you need anything, Caitlyn . . . anything, you let me know." Handing the white linen back to me, he said, "Keep it. I have others."
My heart fell as I left the company of a real man and knew that I would soon be back to pretending that I was the perfect wife to someone who didn't deserve me. The only consolation I had was Jack had armed with the tools I needed and I was more confident than ever that I would be able to bring Jeremy down.
Chapter 4
I hid the envelope of Jeremy's indiscretions and the handkerchief with the manuscripts I was editing. Jeremy's demands that I was always dressed in the latest fashions ensured I had a walk-in closet of my own. He never went in there but just in case, I made sure to hide everything deep in the back, behind the rows of clothing. Seeing the pictures had confirmed what I already knew; we were over. There was no chance of saving us. I still wanted revenge but my plan had changed. Oh, I was still leaving Jeremy but now, I had a new task.
Step 1 had been ensuring my financial future was secure. In addition to my own income, I had made it a point to hide every last dime I could get out of Jeremy's excessive grocery allowance. I found ways to cut corners. He couldn't tell I bought discount chicken or store brand products. As long as I was careful to hide the evidence, he would ever find out. Jeremy's favorite scotch was not reordered. Instead, it was magically refilled with a cheaper, less expensive brand. As long as the bottle held the impressive name, Jeremy would never notice. The same plight fell upon his designer shampoo, protein powder, coffee and cologne. All were refilled with a lesser priced version. Anything I could swap out was changed.
The same applied to my clothing allowance. Second-hand clothing came home with expensive tags. One of the easiest ways to have Jeremy hand over cash was for me to talk about cosmetic issues. Jeremy thought my endless Botox and facials kept my face young and new.
Over the eight months since I went back to him, I had squirreled away almost a half of a million dollars. Neat hundred dollar bills were bundled and stacked in shoeboxes. I was nervous at first the penthouse would burn down but I couldn't risk putting the money I had earned into a bank. I justified every dime I hid. Every time we had sex, every meal I made, every event I attended as his date, I considered a job with a payment due. He never went without, so I shouldn't have felt any guilt. He was wasting money on his mistresses. Ginger was set up. I had to worry about me and that is how I decided Step 2 would be to shake up his world. I would meet the mistress.
I had to ask Jack for one last favor. I needed to know Ginger's schedule. I knew it was wrong to reach out to him again but I needed his help. After hanging up the call, I felt confused. I would have loved to meet him again and explore the feelings he had ignited in me but I knew he would never let anything blossom. He was not the type of man to pick up a rebound.
Jack: 8:00 AM The Original Gym. Treadmill 30 minutes. 7 days a week.
Caitlyn: After?
Jack: Varies.
Caitlyn: Jeremy?
His normal immediate response to me was silent. Watching the clock change, at five minutes I decided I couldn't wait.
Caitlyn: Come on, Winter. I know he’s with her still.
Jack: This week he has shown up at her condo at 9:30 AM Leaves around 11:00 AM
Caitlyn: I hate him. Thx for being honest. Can you keep tabs 1 more wk?
Jack: Don't get hurt.
Caitlyn: Too late.
Chapter 5
Ginger stuck to her schedule for the next two weeks. When I asked Thomas' partner Jacob to help me create a new image, he was delighted by the idea. Jacob was a makeup artist, who specialized in realistic prosthetics. After we had what he called ‘a Caitlyn makeover party,’ he tested out so many different new ‘Caitlyns’. After many hours and bottles of champagne, we finally settled on an Auburn wig, fake eyelashes, blue eyes and an altered nose. By the time he was done with me, even Jeremy wouldn't have recognized me.
Dressed in a workout outfit, I arrived at the gym Ginger frequented twenty minutes before her time. Jack told me which machine she always used and I chose the one next to it. When Ginger arrived, she gave me a smile and hopped on her treadmill. At the end of her thirty minutes, we smiled at each other again and she left to the weight room.
I stayed on the treadmill another twenty minutes, fuming. When I watched her leave, I had the urge to follow her and confront her. Patience. Four months, then you’re free. This was the day my countdown started. I was going soon and there would be no stopping me.
The second day, I was running when she joined me. She smiled brightly and said, "You’re back. It is so nice to see a familiar face."
I smiled brightly at her but kept running. When her time was up, she said, "I hope to see you tomorrow."
The next few days were the same. She greeted me and I smiled. By day seven, I was antsy. I wanted to end this ruse. When she arrived, I was ready.
"I was hoping you would show up," I said. "It is nice to have company."
"Isn't it!" she said, way too excited by my attention. "My name is Ginger. What's yours?"
"Justice. My father was a lawyer," I said, copying her same perky tone.
"Nice. I love this song. Don't you?" Ginger babbled the entire time we ran. She continued past her thirty minutes and then squeaked when she realized the time.
"Eeek, I am going to be late. I guess my boyfriend will just have to shower with me today," she laughed.
Forcing a giggle, I said, "I bet he will hate that." Instead of her getting ready, she grabbed her bag and hustled towards the door.
"See you tomorrow, Ginger," I called after her.
That evening, when Jeremy came hom
e, I made a fantastic meal. A green salad with bright veggies and a balsamic drizzle. His favorite pasta dish. Homemade breadsticks.
"Babe, you out did yourself," Jeremy crowed as he filled himself. "You’re too good to me."
"I hope you saved room for dessert. I made your favorite," I said.
When I carried out the desserts, he beamed. I had made a chocolate soufflé. I had made two personal desserts. One had a special chocolate that was used to help with constipation and one had a fine chocolate. One had a raspberry sauce. One had a cherry drizzle. Yes, like the one I had shared with Jack. Guess which one I gave Jeremy.
Jeremy devoured his dessert before I finished mine. I savored each bite of the chocolate cherry flavor, knowing he would soon be extremely uncomfortable. When his stomach grumbled loudly, I forced myself not to smile.
"Did you have a nice day at work? I found the most amazing recipe that I know will be perfect for our next dinner party. I was thinking for the amuse bouche we would have an ahi tuna tartar or Mrs. Charleston described a recipe she had in Paris. It was a candied salmon with a yogurt . . . "
My words ended as Jeremy jumped up and sprinted down the hallway. Snickering, I slowly finished my dessert. When I was done, I began to clear the dinner dishes. After everything was cleaned up, I forced myself to check on him. That is what a good wife would do, right?
"Honey, are you ok?" I asked through the bathroom door.
"I'm just a bit sick," he called. His voice was weak.
"I brought you some electrolytes," I soothed. "Can I come in?"
"No, I’ll be out soon," he groaned. I was thankful that he was so vain.
"Ok, love," I said, "I will be right here waiting for you."
Changing into comfy pajamas, I climbed into bed and turned on the news. The thought that maybe I had really hurt him came to mind moments before he came out of the bathroom. Jeremy was pale but the smell of his bath soap wafted to me. Suppressing a giggle, I ran over to him.
Flawed Perfection: A Collection of Winter Wishes Page 42