The Divorce Papers

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by Susan Rieger

46 BROADWAY

  NEW SALEM, NARRAGANSETT 06555

  (393) 876-4343

  ATTORNEYS AT LAW

  July 27, 1999

  Ms. Anne Sophie Diehl

  Traynor, Hand, Wyzanski

  222 Church Street

  New Salem, Narragansett 06555

  Dear Ms. Diehl:

  I am in receipt of your letter of July 21. I was surprised on two grounds: first, that we hadn’t previously been informed of the trust; and second, that you have made adjustments only in your demands for Ms. Meiklejohn’s share of the investment funds and are continuing to make exorbitant child support and alimony claims. Dr. Durkheim entered into negotiations entirely in good faith and made an offer he thought was generous. In light of the trust, he thinks that his original offer is exceedingly generous and sees no basis to make any changes to the child and spousal support offers. As for the various investment accounts, he finds untenable your assumption that Ms. Meiklejohn should recover all the gift money provided by her father to the couple. Half the money was gifted to Dr. Durkheim, and he has every reason to believe it was sincerely gifted. It would be cynical to think differently. A fairer distribution of investment funds would recognize his share of the gift money as well as Ms. Meiklejohn’s expectations under the trust, which in seven years is likely to reach $4 million. We propose the following:

  Account Dr. Durkheim Ms. Meiklejohn

  TIAA-CREF 600,000 0

  401(k) Plan 300,000 0

  Stocks 350,000 350,000

  T Bills 45,000 45,000

  Savings 40,000 40,000

  TOTAL 1,335,000 435,000

  I look forward to hearing from you. I have every confidence that we shall be able to conclude this agreement promptly. The terms Dr. Durkheim offers are fair and balanced.

  Sincerely yours,

  Ray Kahn

  MARIA DURKHEIM

  404 ST. CLOUD STREET

  NEW SALEM, NA 06556

  August 10

  Dear Poppa,

  I’m going to ask you a very very very big favor. You and Mom have to stop fewding about the house and get some inside toilets. I hate the outhouses even with the new Sweedish composting toilets. If I have to go to the bathroom at night, I wake Mom up. I don’t want to go out there in the dark by myself. It’s too too scary. And I hate the chamber pots. You have to admit they are soooo gross. I agree with Mom. I don’t want a fancy house, just one with white inside flush toilets. If you would do that for me, I’d be very greatful to you. Mom says we could put one toilet in the linen closet upstairs and one in the dish cabinet next to the kitchen. We could also put one in the upstairs bathroom.

  Mom said your house on Grove Street had inside toilets when you were growing up. Inside toilets aren’t a luxery anymore.

  This is not a put-up job, Poppa. Mom didn’t tell me to write to you. She’s so used to the outhouses, she doesn’t mind using them even though she thinks it’s nuts in 1999 not to have inside toilets. But I think they are truly disgusting. Mom and I thought we should write a book about Martha’s Vineyard and call it “Big House on the Little Island,” by Jane Ingalls Durkheim. We’d call you GrandPaw. I’m practicing calling Mom Ma.

  I know I am asking a very big favor of you, but I would love a real toilet.

  I’m going to sailing camp every morning. I’m getting pretty good with the sunfish. Yesterday, we took Fido to Black Point and he ran up and down the shore and fetched balls from the ocean. We had to clean up his poop. Mom did that. :) Mom and I play tennis in the afternoon. She’s not as good as Dad but she’s still better than me. I’m not a game person; I’m a runner. I’ve been practicing on the high school track here. I’m faster than most of the men who run and boy O boy do they hate to be passed by me. They try to catch up but I leave them in the dust. :):) Mom says I’m nothing but lungs and legs.

  I wish you would come up too.

  I love you,

  Jane

  P.S. Toilets!

  TRAYNOR, HAND, WYZANSKI

  222 CHURCH STREET

  NEW SALEM, NARRAGANSETT 06555

  (393) 876-5678

  MEMORANDUM

  Attorney Work Product

  From: David Greaves

  To: Sophie Diehl

  RE: Ray Kahn

  Date: August 10, 1999

  Attachments: Narragansett State Bar Disciplinary Actions, August 9, 1999

  I don’t know if you saw this. I’m guessing it’s the Peele case. You might want to send it to Ms. Meiklejohn, who in turn might want to show it to her husband, as a spur to action.

  NARRAGANSETT STATE BAR

  Disciplinary Actions

  August 9, 1999

  REPRIMANDS

  ELWOOD CARSTON JR of New Salem was reprimanded by the Grievance Committee for assisting a disbarred lawyer in the unauthorized practice of law.

  GEORGE M. HUBBELL of New Salem was reprimanded by the Grievance Committee for failing to supervise his paralegal. Hubbell allowed his paralegal to substitute her professional judgment for those of associate lawyers in his office and allowed her to modify those lawyers’ work product.

  RAY KAHN of New Salem was reprimanded by the Grievance Committee for challenging the presumption of paternity in a divorce case.

  RITA J. MARTINELLI of Compton was reprimanded by the Grievance Committee for assisting a disbarred lawyer in the unauthorized practice of law.

  SUSPENSIONS

  PRUDENCE D. CAULDER of New Salem commingled funds, did not main-tain proper trust account records, and did not reconcile her trust account. She was suspended from the practice of law for four years by the Grievance Committee.

  GARRETT MCCORMICK of Springfield made sexual comments to and inappropriately touched two clients. He was suspended from the practice of law for three years by the Grievance Committee.

  DISBARMENTS

  PATRICK GRANTHAM of Compton was disbarred by the Narragansett District Court from the practice of law for embezzling client funds and funds withheld for the benefit of the Internal Revenue Service from employees’ paychecks.

  The Last of Harry

  * * *

  From: Sophie Diehl

  To: Maggie Pfeiffer

  Date: Thu, 12 Aug 1999 17:06:15

  Subject: The Last of Harry 8/12/99 5:06 PM

  Dear Maggie,

  You won’t believe what took place this afternoon in the august corridors of Traynor, Hand. Tessa Gregg, Harry’s semi-ex, showed up at reception at about 3:15, saying she urgently needed to see me. The receptionist asked for a name and said she’d check if I were in. Tessa announced herself as “Harry’s Wife. She’ll know.” I told the receptionist I’d come down to reception.

  She’s a real looker, more than that, drop-dead gorgeous, long dancer’s legs, a tiny waist, and a neck out of Modigliani, with a small, elegant head perched on top. Dark hair, thick, wavy, and short, eyelashes like a four-year-old’s, light blue-gray wolf’s eyes, red mouth, dressed in a silky purple dress that clung to her. Catching sight of me, she started yelling, “You tramp, you, you slut. What are you doing with my husband? Can’t you get one of your own? God, and you dress like a dog, no makeup. What is it, blow jobs?” And so it went for about two minutes. The offices started to empty out, and soon the reception area was ringed with lawyers watching her yell at me, transfixed. She was so beautiful and so crazy. I was stunned, too embarrassed to know what to do. And no one seemed to want to stop the show. Rescue finally came. Joe, who knows crazy when he sees it and doesn’t care for it, no matter the packaging, took charge. He stepped between us, facing her. “I’ve just asked the receptionist to call the police. If you are not gone in two minutes, they’ll be here, and I will swear a warrant against you for disturbing the peace, trespass, stalking, and assault.” He didn’t touch her; he just stood there. She was knocked off her game. She’s crazy but not stupid. “Well, fuck you, horn nose,” she said to him, and walked out. “Get back to work,” Joe said to everyone, and they did. He walked me back to m
y office. “Don’t explain, to me or anyone. We criminal lawyers have crazy clients with crazy wives.” He left, returning shortly with a small glass of scotch. “Drink this. You’ll feel better.” I did and I did.

  As I thought about the scene, I got furious with Harry. Why had he told her about me? I phoned him up and told him what happened. “Keep her away from me,” I said. “And if you can’t, I will swear out a warrant for stalking. What were you thinking, talking to her about me? Showing off?” He mumbled an apology cum explanation. “I mentioned your name once or twice; she couldn’t understand that I didn’t want her. In her mind, there had to be another woman.” How’s that for manly behavior? “Don’t make me think you’re a complete jerk,” I said, and hung up. I have to say I do think he’s a jerk. And I am glad it’s over. He didn’t protect me. Good men protect their women. And vice versa, of course.

  I think I’m all right. A bit shaky though, too ragged to work. No one has ever been jealous of me before. I’ve always been the best friend, not the competition. Of course, she’s crazy. I’m going home now—or maybe I’ll have another scotch with Joe. Wasn’t he great? That’s what I need, someone like Joe but 25 years younger.

  Love,

  Sophie

  V. SETTLEMENT

  FIONA McGREGOR

  Formerly of Traynor, Hand, Wyzanski

  Has Become a Member

  of

  Farrow Allerton

  280 Church Street

  New Salem, Narragansett 06555

  SEPTEMBER 1, 1999

  TRAYNOR, HAND, WYZANSKI

  222 CHURCH STREET

  NEW SALEM, NARRAGANSETT 06555

  (393) 876-5678

  MEMORANDUM

  Attorney Work Product

  From: David Greaves, Managing Partner

  To: Members and Associates

  RE: Fiona McGregor

  Date: September 1, 1999

  Attachments: Farrow Allerton Announcement

  On August 31, 1999, Fiona McGregor, a partner at Traynor, Hand, Wyzanski since 1992, resigned from the firm. She will be joining Farrow Allerton. She has been a valued colleague, a first-rate litigator, and an astute counselor. We wish her all the best.

  Fiona McGregor

  * * *

  From: Sophie Diehl

  To: David Greaves

  Date: Wed, 1 Sep 1999 8:34:07

  Subject: Fiona McGregor 9/1/99 8:34 AM

  Dear David,

  I was blown away by the news of Fiona’s departure. Farrow Allerton? I didn’t think there were any members who hadn’t come over in the Mayflower or sunk on the Titanic. Good for them. Good for her. Good for us? We’re down to two women partners, out of ten. Mather won’t like that; they look for firms with at least 30%.

  I can’t help feeling somehow responsible for this (the way a child feels responsible for a parent’s divorce, a kind of grandiosity?). And even if it isn’t my fault, I think people somehow will think it is.

  I am very sorry it came to this.

  Sophie

  Office Politics

  * * *

  From: Sophie Diehl

  To: Maggie Pfeiffer

  Date: Wed, 1 Sep 1999 9:02:36

  Subject: Office Politics 9/1/99 9:02 AM

  Dear Maggie,

  My life is a Russian soap opera. The latest: Fiona has decamped for Farrow Allerton, the old-line white-shoe law firm that only represents Plimouth Club life members. They used to do a lot of work for the University, but with the recent Jewish ascendency, they’ve been pushed aside. I’m not sure they even have a Jewish partner. I think Fiona will be only their second woman partner, out of 20+. But then, we’re down to only two too with Fiona’s departure.

  I keep thinking that everyone is looking at me funny, as though it was my doing that she left. With all the fuss over the Meiklejohn divorce, most of the lawyers (and the staff too) probably breathed a sigh of relief; still I get the feeling some of them wouldn’t mind if I left too. The old gang hasn’t abandoned me, but the rest are suspicious and cranky, as if I were going to filch their clients too. David supports me and the Meiklejohns protect me, but their protection doesn’t make me any more popular. Joe has been great. And his advice about Tessa was spot-on. Anytime someone mentioned the incident to me, I just shook my head and mumbled: “I should have been a trusts and estates lawyer.” I wish I had been able to respond to her; I was so aghast I couldn’t move. Joe said next time I’ll do better. “You’re too polite, sweetheart,” he always says to me. “We’ve got to knock the Brearley out of you.” I bet Mia Meiklejohn wouldn’t have stood there dumbfounded, though of course, she might not have resolved the situation with Joe’s finesse. They probably would have ended up duking it out. Both she and Tessa rely on the good manners or inhibitions of others. And then they’re both so very beautiful. Beautiful women are bolder. Comme Maman. Comme toi. I’m not complaining about my looks—I’ve had my admirers, I know that—but would anyone love me for myself alone, and not my yellow hair? At least I’ve been spared the problem of beautiful women. Did you know there was a problem? They—you—attract too many men; there’s no built-in screening device, separating the pearls from the swine. I’ve always felt I had to talk my way into someone’s heart.

  I’m so glad it’s a holiday weekend. I can’t wait to get to Wellfleet. I’m cutting out at 2 today, if not earlier. When do you think you’ll get there? The key’s under the back steps if you get there first. Luc is coming too. What larks.

  xoxoxo

  Sophie

  * * *

  Re: Fiona McGregor

  From: David Greaves

  To: Sophie Diehl

  Date: Wed, 1 Sep 1999 11:46:22

  Subject: Re: Fiona McGregor 9/1/99 11:46 AM

  Sophie,

  You’re not completely wrong. The people you speak of know rationally it’s not your fault (and it’s not, see next paragraph), but we’re not a particularly rational species. We are, however, a reliably venal one, and everyone at the firm recognizes the service you’re doing. That may be the real problem: your relationship with the Meiklejohns. There are men, I’m told, who don’t much like other people’s success, especially when they know they could do it a thousand times better than a girl, given the chance.

  The problem here, as you point out, is that we’ve lost one of our three women partners. That’s not good. And she left I believe because of the letter of reprimand, even though it was withdrawn and many sincere apologies made. She accused us, and rightly so, of operating under a double standard. I know you know about this. Everyone hears everything. It’s my understanding the night porter gave his opinion on it.

  Chin up, Sophie. You’ll get through this and soon and be back with the boys in the back room.

  David

  * * *

  Re: Office Politics

  From: Maggie Pfeiffer

  To: Sophie Diehl

  Date: Wed, 1 Sep 1999 15:40:21

  Subject: Re: Office Politics 9/1/99 3:40 PM

  Dear Sophie—

  I hate to be yelled at. I’ve never been able to yell back, except, of course, onstage, where I’ve played several harridans, my favorite being Martha in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? A liberating part. I can’t lay it at Brearley’s feet, this lack of combativeness. I can be very ambitious, outspoken, aggressive even, when it comes to my career. I just hate yelling. It’s no doubt a vestige of early home life when my father wasn’t so defeated but still blamed my mother for everything. I used to burn for my mother to fight back, but she couldn’t. And now I can’t. BUT, I didn’t marry my father—or my mother. Matt never yells at me. He knows I can’t take it. When he’s truly exasperated with me (maybe once a month), he says, “You’ve got to shape up, girl.” And I don’t yell at him, either. I just nag or sulk.

  Don’t worry about Fiona. In two months, no one will remember she even worked at the firm. And between David and Joe, you’re
in like Flynn.

  I’m so looking forward to Wellfleet this weekend. I haven’t seen Luc in ages. And, of course, your mother and Jake spoil us so. Matt’s making a chocolate cake to bring along. I’m bringing a script for The Rivals. The rep is putting it on this spring. I’m going to try out for Lydia Languish. Isn’t that the best name for a heroine? I’m counting on you all to help me with the part.

  Love,

  Maggie

  P.S. What’s this nonsense about talking your way into someone’s heart? Talking may clinch the deal, but it doesn’t open the negotiations. Harry took one look at you and swooned. You look just like your mother, only blond. Sock-pulling time.

  xoxo

  Apologies

  * * *

  From: Sophie Diehl

  To: David Greaves

  Date: Fri, 3 Sep 1999 09:26:57

  Subject: Apologies 9/3/99 9:26 AM

  Dear David,

  I’m keeping my chin up as we speak, but it’s a mystery why you put up with me so patiently. Why do you?

  Sophie

  * * *

  Re: Apologies

  From: David Greaves

  To: Sophie Diehl

  Date: Fri, 3 Sep 1999 11:32:19

  Subject: Re: Apologies 9/3/99 11:32 AM

  Dear Sophie,

  I think of it as deep mentoring. You’re a very talented lawyer. You’re worth the investment.

  David

  TRAYNOR, HAND, WYZANSKI

  222 CHURCH STREET

  NEW SALEM, NARRAGANSETT 06555

  (393) 876-5678

  MEMORANDUM

 

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