The next day was Sarah’s eighteenth birthday. The day began as most every day in the Fisher house would, as Sarah woke early, read her Bible and prayed, and then went about her chores as she normally would. When she came in to house for the noon meal, she immediately noticed something was different. David was sitting in his place at the head of the dinner table, smiling at his youngest daughter.
“Happy birthday, my dear,” he says.
“Thank you, Datt,” she responds, using the Pennsylvania Dutch term for farmer. “Where is Mamm?”
“I am right here,” Annie says, walking into the room, carrying a large, homemade cake. “Happy Birthday!”
“Thank you, Mamm!” Sarah says, hugging her mother as soon as the cake is sitting on the table.
“Happy Birthday, Sarah,” Matthew says from his place in the corner. He has gone unnoticed until now.
“Thank you, Matthew,” Sarah answers, as they prepare to cut the cake. “Thank you all!” They sit around the table, and together they each eat a slice of the birthday cake. When they have all eaten their fill, Matthew asks Sarah if she will accompany him for a walk. “Of course,” she answers. They get up, and leave the table, only after their plates have been cleared away from the table.
“So, happy birthday,” Matthew says, when they are out of earshot of the house. He is clearly pre-occupied.
“Thank you,” Sarah answers, waiting patiently for him to speak his mind.
“I’m nearly fully healed,” he says, weighing each word carefully.
“Indeed.”
“I suppose that means that it will be time for me to leave this place?”
“If that is what you want.”
“You mean I could stay?”
“You could, if you wanted to. It would be hard, but you could do it.”
“What do you mean that it would be ‘hard?’”
“Well,” Sarah begins, thoughtful. “In order to stay in the community, you would have to join our church. You would have to submit to the Ordnung.”
“Ahh, the church rule.”
“Yes…how did you know—?”
“The paper that I wrote,” he answers quickly, hoping that Sarah does not notice how quickly he answers.
“Oh yes,” she says, not noticing his discomfort with the Ordnung. “I had forgotten of your paper. Besides, why would you want to join the Amish anyway?”
“Well, because I admire you all. Your community’s devotion to God is something that has been missing from my life for a long time. Your work ethic, devotion to family, and desire to serve God first are all excellent traits, and I want the simplicity of living apart from the world, focusing only on God.”
“Well, I must say that I think you are thinking about joining us for the right reasons.”
“What do you mean,” Matthew asks, perplexed.
“Many only want to join us because they think our lives simple and easy. But you want to join because you want to dedicate your life to separating yourself from the world for the glory of God. I think that is the only good reason why anyone should decide to join us.”
“I’m glad you think so…” he trails off into silence. This time, though, Sarah does notice his discomfort.
“What is bothering you, Matthew?” She asks him.
“Well, it is just that…the longer I am around you, the more I feel that God has brought us together, but I know that you would never marry me if you had to leave the community to do so.”
“You presume too much,” she says.
“You mean that you would leave the Amish community to be with me?” he asks, stopping in his tracks to look at her.
“Only if I had too,” she answers.
“What are you saying?” Matthew asks, hardly daring to believe that she was saying what he thought she was saying.
“I am saying that the only reason that I would leave the community to be with you would be if I had too. Matthew,” she says, “I think I have fallen in love with you.”
“And I know that I have fallen in love with you.”
Sarah blushes a bright red that shines in the early afternoon sunlight. “You will join our church?” she asks.
“If it means that I can marry you, definitely.”
They clasp hands, her left in his right, and walk hand-in-hand back toward the Fisher farm. “What makes you think that I am worth marrying?” Sarah asks.
“Well, you are a hard worker, dutiful, and a wonderful seamstress.”
“So you are staying so I can sew your clothes?”
“That’s it!” Matthew shouts as they both break in to raucous peals of laughter. “I only want to marry you because I want you to sew my clothes!”
“That is a terrible reason!” she squeals back at him. “Besides, Mary King is a much better seamstress than I am!”
“Well, maybe,” Matthew responds, serious once more. “But something tells me that Mary King isn’t as devoted to the Lord as you are.”
“That is a terrible thing to say, Matthew!” Sarah exclaims.
“Well, I have never met a woman who is as devoted to the Lord as you are.”
“Well, thank you,” she answers him. They are just now reaching the door of the Fisher farm house once more, when Sarah turns to Matthew and says, “can I tell my parents that you are thinking of joining our community?”
“Of course you can,” Matthew answers. “Just don’t tell them why, okay? I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
“Okay,” Sarah responds, turning to open the door to her home of eighteen years. She is in for the shock of her life, however, as the young, exuberant face of a young man resides at the dinner table, in conversation with her father. When the door closes behind she and Matthew, it catches the attention of the young man, and he turns to look upon them.
“Sarah!” Joshua Stolzfus exclaims, “It has been forever, hasn’t it?”
Chapter five
“Joshua?” Sarah says. She is completely surprised by the sudden return of the youngest Stolzfus son…and somewhat wrong-footed as well. Just five minutes before, she was beginning to feel comfortable with the idea of breaking her promise to him, and moving on with her life with a man she has fallen in love with. Now, all of this has changed, as the weight of the promise comes flooding back to her consciousness.
“Yes! It’s me! How’ve you been?” Joshua asks, standing up, and taking her hands in his own. He has grown in his years away from Daviess County. He is now clearly taller than both Sarah’s father and his own. He is still clean shaven, which denotes that he is not yet married. He looks much the same as he did when he left, with his hooked nose and large, watery eyes. He is wearing his Amish clothing, and looks much the same as he did when he left the community several years ago.
“I’m fine…” Sarah says, answering his question. “What have you—where have you…?”
“Well, I, well…” Joshua stammers, “I went for my rumspringa. I went to Indianapolis, and looked around. I’m telling you, Sarah, there is nothing out there good, so I decided to come home. I knew that today is your eighteenth birthday, so I decided to come back today to surprise you.”
“Well,” she says, still at a loss for words, “thank you, I suppose.”
“‘You suppose?’ What do you mean, ‘you suppose?’” Joshua asks, clearly confused.
“Perhaps we need to talk. Alone,” Sarah says, turning her back to him and walking out the door once more. She feels completely wrong footed. Just yesterday, Joshua had been gone for years, and today, he is back, an intruder on the plan that she has made. Just an hour ago, she was enjoying the birthday cake that her mother had made for her, and Joshua was still nowhere to be found. Ten minutes previously, she was considering the possibility of a life with Matthew in the community, because Joshua had broken his promise to her. Compound all this with the fact that she genuinely feels a connection with Matthew, whereas with Joshua, it had always been an agreement born out of convenience and comfort.
“Sarah!”
Joshua yells after her when he has escaped the Fisher house. Notably absent is Matthew, who appears to have remained behind in the Fisher home, graciously giving Sarah and Joshua time to speak privately. “What is wrong?” Joshua asks when he catches up to Sarah.
“I’ll tell you what is wrong,” Sarah answers, in a quiet, calm voice that exudes anger. “You disappeared from Daviess County, and it looked like you were never coming back. We made a promise to each other, and you broke it.”
“I didn’t break our promise, Sarah!” Joshua says quickly, “I never married! I never was with a woman, and I never betrayed our community!”
“And you expect me to believe that?” Sarah says, her blue eyes burning into his hazel. “You have been gone from here for almost three years! What if I don’t want to keep my promise to you, anymore, because you didn’t keep your promise to me?”
“What?” Joshua asks, seemingly surprised and a little hurt by her outburst.
“Yeah! You’ve been gone for so long that I have decided that I want to move on with my life!”
“But, the Bible says that we are not allowed to break an oath before the Lord!”
“Then maybe you should have remembered that when you broke your oath to me!”
“Sarah, truly, I did not break my promise to y0u! I am back now, have never married, and am ready to marry you as soon as we are both baptized.”
“Well, I have found someone else.”
“Who?”
“Me,” Matthew says, walking up behind Joshua.
“You?” Joshua says, mystified. “Who’re you?”
“My name is Matthew. I recently came into this community, and I am planning to join it permanently. I was terribly hurt at the hands of someone in this community, but Sarah and her family have taken me in, and she has brought me back to health.”
“Either way, you have no right to enter our community, and to lead Sarah to break her promise. That is a sin before the Lord, and she will be shunned for breaking an oath!” Joshua yells, visibly losing control of his temper.
“Actually, she won’t,” Matthew says, calmly.
“Oh really?” Joshua says, scathingly. “And I suppose you are going to stop her from being shunned?”
“I won’t have to,” Matthew replies. “The beliefs of those in this community will prevent her from being shunned.”
“Oh really?”
“Yes. She is just turning eighteen, and has not yet been baptized into the Ordnung. She is still in her period of rumspringa, and as such, she will not be bound to her oath, as it was made prior to her baptism into the church.”
“Who are you to teach me about the beliefs of the Amish, outsider?” Joshua retorts.
“A man who is right,” Sarah interjects. “You broke your promise, Joshua, and I do not believe that I still wish to marry you.”
“Fine…just…fine,” Joshua says, completely flustered. “Just know this, Sarah…you will be bound by the ordnung, and if you marry this outsider and he leaves you, you will be unable to remarry. I won’t be able to save you then. Stop and ask yourself…do you really know this man? Do you really know why it is that he wants to join our community? What are his reasons? Can you be sure that you know what his intentions truly are?” And Joshua leaves, running toward the Stolzfus farm, presumably to see his father, who he has not spoken with in several years.
“Well,” Matthew says, “That was interesting.”
“Yes,” Sarah says, thoughtfully. “It certainly was.”
“What’s wrong?” Matthew asks.
“It’s just…it’s just that he does have a point, you know.”
“What point could he have possibly made, Sarah?”
“Just that, you know, I haven’t known you for very long. Sure, I feel like I’ve known you for years already, and we already know quite a lot about each other, it’s just that he does make a fair point.”
“I see what you mean,” Matthew says, already coming back down to earth from the high he was experiencing when they decided together that he would join the community. “When can I start learning Pennsylvania Dutch?” he asks, attempting to demonstrate his desire to move forward with their plan him to pursue membership in the Amish community.
“Soon, I promise. Let’s go back inside, and we’ll speak with Datt about arranging lessons for you, so that you can begin learning the language, and to see what other things you need to do to join us.
“Okay,” Matthew says, not letting his true feelings show. “That sounds like it would be a good plan, Sarah.” Together, they walk back to the Fisher farmhouse, and go inside.
Chapter six
When they arrived back at the Fisher home, Sarah and Matthew discussed his desire to join the Daviess County Amish.
“It will not be an immediate thing,” David told him. “It will take time to complete, as you will need to affirm that you agree with us in our definitions of the scriptures, which will take time for you to understand. You will also need to study our language. I am sure that you already know that we do not normally speak English.”
“I do,” Matthew answered.
“Very well, then,” David had said. “I will help to teach you in the evenings, after the work is done. I would also recommend discarding your English clothing, and begin wearing that which we wear.”
“I understand,” Matthew replied. And so it was that Matthew began working toward his goal of joining the Amish.
Sarah, on the other hand has started to question Matthew’s motivations. He has only been in the community for about a month, and while she has spent quite a lot of time with him, the more that time goes by, the more that Joshua’s words tear at her. He is right…she doesn’t know much about Matthew, except what he has told her, which could have all been a fabrication. She does know that she loves him…or at least, who she thinks he is.
Why did Matthew come here? Why is he so fervent in his desire to join their community? What motivates him? When did he decide to join them? Where did he come from? How did he get here? Who is he really? Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?
The simplest way to get the answers to these questions would be to ask him, but the seed of doubt that Joshua planted on the evening he returned to Daviess County has sprouted into a weed that no matter how hard Sarah tries to kill it, is resolute in its resolve to wreak complete havoc on her psyche. She desperately wants to know that Matthew is trustworthy, but like almost all positive things in this life, someone planted a feeling of doubt that preys on the positivity that had entered into Sarah’s life.
The truly terrible thing about what Joshua said is that she cannot “un-hear” what he said. She cannot go back to the place where she trusted Matthew implicitly, simply because she had no reason to distrust him. The horrible truth is that Joshua may be right, and if he is, Sarah could easily end up in a terrible situation. The Amish do not allow divorce, and if one spouse leaves the other, the remaining spouse is not allowed to remarry, because it would be adultery. If Matthew joins the community, and she marries him only to be left behind, she would be shamed before the entire community, and possibly left behind with children to think about.
Joshua represents the safer choice. She knows that she is commanded to forgive him for breaking his promise to her, but the frustration and worry that she has felt ever since he left for his Rumspringa has come to a head, and she can’t help but worry that he will leave again, and she would be in the same position as if he is right about Matthew.
Of course, she does have a third option…she could leave the community altogether, and carve a path separated from the Amish community. This would allow her the opportunity to be with whichever man she chooses, but would have the notable disadvantage of separating her from the most central aspect of her life: her faith.
“Father! I need to know what you want for me to do!” she cried out in prayer one evening. “I crave to know your will, and the way you would have me to go with my life, so that I can glorify you the best way I can. I know I asked once
before for a sign, and you led me to Matthew. Does that mean I am to marry him? Should I simply trust that he is who he says he is? Or was it mere coincidence that I have come to love him after you led me to him? Am I to keep my promise to Joshua, in spite of Matthew having been brought into my life? Am I to marry Matthew in spite of the promise that I made Joshua? Please Father; please show me what you would have me to do. Amen.”
Sarah gets to her feet from her knees, and brushes the dust from her long, black skirt. She walks down the path that leads back to the Fisher and Stolzfus farms when she sees the noticeable gait of Joshua approaching in the distance. She does not want to speak with Joshua right now, but unfortunately, has seen her approaching him, and there is no way for her to avoid him.
“Hello, Sarah,” he greets her when they are within twenty feet of one another.
“Hello, Joshua,” she reciprocates, albeit grudgingly.
“How have you been?”
“Fine.”
“Want me to walk you home?”
“No.”
“I think you do,” he says, forcefully.
“And why is that, Joshua? So you can remind me again of how you betrayed me and have shown no amount of remorse for your actions?”
“Sarah, I didn’t…”
“Don’t tell me again how you didn’t betray me, because you did. You know, Joshua, the savior forgives those who are repentant, not those who remain in sin.”
“I know, but…”
“So I am not going to forgive you until you repent.”
“Fine, but please, I need to tell you some things.”
“What things?”
“Things about Matthew,” he says, looking glumly at her.
“What about Matthew?” she asks in spite of herself.
“I found out some things about him.”
“Like?”
“Well, first of all, he doesn’t share the same beliefs as we do.”
“Oh?”
“He was in the military, Sarah?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Matthew was in the military.”
“How do you know this?”
The Time Turner Page 5