“I wish I could stay with you forever,” he said. “I never want to leave your side.”
“John, I’ll be here when you return,” I had answered, wearing as little as the women in the magazines that he had been looking at. “And when you do, we will tell our parents that we are going to marry, and then the church will have to provide for your parents…it’s the way of our people.”
“I know…I want to run away and marry you now…” he said as he put his shirt back on.
“I would,” I answered, “but you need to think of your parents too. Go. I will wait for you.”
And so he left.
The emptiness that I acutely felt without him in our community was deadening. While he was away, we exchanged letters, but it simply was not the same as conversing with him face to face, and it resulted in my running to the postmaster’s office at a much higher rate than was normal for our family, nearly every day.
It also did not help that I got sick about a month after John left for Lansing.
I was sick to my stomach, and was vomiting two to three times every day. It was not a constant sickness, and usually would go away very quickly following a spell of vomiting. I was not sure what was happening to me, because I had never had an illness that lasted that long before. Normally, if I got sick at all, I would be over it within a few days, or a week at the most. This illness lasted for weeks and weeks, and the symptoms were a mystery to me.
Of course, my symptoms remained a mystery for only a short period of time, as the natural course of the month did not go normally. When it came time for nature to do its duty, was when I had my first indication of the cause of my mysterious symptoms and illness. I had nowhere to turn, and no one to ask for advice, as I felt certain that if I spoke to mother, she would tell father. If I spoke to another woman, she would surely tell mother! I was completely confused, and really needed John to come home as soon as possible so that I could discuss our next steps, and to find out if he intended to make an honest woman out of me.
The problem was, of course, that John was in Lansing, and would not be back for some time, and I was afraid that my belly would begin to grow before he could return and we prevent any shame to come to us. There was no way that I would be able to reach him quickly enough to have him come home before I would start to show.
I’ll admit it, I was pretty terrified. The thought of having a baby was quite possibly the worst nightmare that could have happened. John was in Lansing, I was at home with no way to let him know what was going on, and I was pregnant. Overall, this was one of the worst situations I had ever found myself in.
The more I thought about it, the more I knew I needed to talk to John. I needed to let him know that he was going to be a father. I needed to know beyond all doubt that he loved me, and that he would stand by me through this trial.
And so, I made a plan. One Friday night, after the work was all done, I was going to get a ride from an English girl who owned a car. I met her through Jedidiah Stolzfus, another teen in our community who was in his rumspringa, although he was a few months older than I was. Jedidiah was dating the English girl, and they were going to Lansing together that evening, and weren’t going to return home until Sunday evening. I told Mother and Father that I was going to accompany them to Lansing, because they were going to see a “movie.”
When I told Mother where I was going to be that weekend, she smiled and laughed in reminiscence about her own rumspringa.
“I remember going to a movie with an English boy,” she said, smiling.
“You went to the movies with an English boy, Mother?”
“Yes, I did…he was a great kisser too!” She said, laughing. “Of course, that was all before I was baptized and married your father.” I simply stared at mother with what I expect was a look of complete disbelief in my eyes. I could not believe that my mother, the epitome of Amish femininity, would have ever been caught dead or alive in a movie theater, let alone kissing an English boy.
“Mother, the older I get, the less I know about you,” I said, in awe.
“And the same will be true of me to you after this weekend, my daughter,” she responded with a sad smile. “Just don’t forget where you come from, and don’t forget where home is, okay?”
“Yes, Mother.”
Chapter Seven
It seemed to take forever for Friday to arrive. Before Jedidiah and Emily picked me up in front of my family’s house, I had plenty of planning to accomplish. First, I packed only those things that I would absolutely need in Lansing in a bag to carry with me. Emily handled my clothing, saying that I would be out of place in my ankle length dress, black shoes, white prayer cap, and black apron. No, instead of clothing, I packed my Pennsylvania Dutch bible, that my Grandmother had given my mother on the day I was born. I also prepared and packed an apple pie that I was going to take to John.
I also needed to find out where he was, so I called on his mother.
“Jenny!” she said when I knocked on the door. “What are you doing here? Surely you know that John is not here?”
“Yes, ma’am,” I answered. “And that is actually the reason I am here.”
“What now?”
“I was sure that if anyone would know where he is staying in Lansing, he would have told you.”
“Yes, dearie, he did, but why do you want to know?”
“Well, I am going with Jedidiah and a few others to Lansing to see a movie this weekend, and thought I might call on him, to see if he would like to come with us.”
“Ahh, you are still on your rumspringa, eh?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Well, John is staying at the Village Inn Motel on Cedar St. Room 15.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
“Oh Jenny, please, call me Martha. You are like one of the family, dearie.”
“Thank you…Martha,” I said, smiling at her. After I left John’s family farm, I began preparing more directly for the trip, which could not come quickly enough. Finally, Friday arrived, and Emily and Jedidiah came by my house and picked me up.
“So, where do you need to go, Jenny?” Emily asked me once I got in the car, and we had gone through the necessary pleasantries.
“Well, John’s mother said that he is staying at the Village Inn on Cedar St.”
“Okay, I know the place. Do you mind if I ask why you need to see him so badly?”
“I can’t really say,” I responded. “I have just got to tell him some things. I’m sure you understand.”
“Yeah, I do. Do you want a cigarette?” She asked me.
“No, thank you,” I responded. “I don’t think I do.”
“That’s cool,” she answered as she lit one up. “If you look on the seat beside you, you will see a bag that has the clothes that I got you. I hope that you like them.”
“I’m sure they will be fine,” I answered, looking into the bag. Inside was two pair of blue-jeans and several t-shirts, and some shoes and white socks. “Thank you Emily,” I said.
“Not a problem,” she said, taking a deep drag on the cigarette. We rode on through the evening and talked about many things with Jedidiah. Emily was a very nice girl, and I felt that if she was Amish, she and I would have been great friends. Finally, we stopped at a gas station, and I took the bag inside to the bathroom that had a small logo of a stick figure woman in a knee high skirt. I changed into one of the pairs of jeans, and a t-shirt. I removed my prayer cap, and put my hair into a single braid down my back.
When I went back outside to the car, I felt drastically different, and I must say that I found the clothing of English girls to be very comfortable, and I was curious to hear what John would think of my new look. When we got to Cedar Street, Emily pulled up to the end of the road and said,
“I’m going to drop you off here, and let you walk down to the hotel. It’s only about two blocks away, so you shouldn’t have any trouble getting there with no issue. We’ll be back to pick you up on Sunday afternoon.”
�
�Okay,” I said. “Thank you for everything, Emily.”
“It’s no problem sweetie. I know how it is to want to see a man and not be able to. Right, Jed?”
“Yeah, baby,” Jedidiah said. “Bye, Jenny,” he said to me.
I got out of the car, and grabbed my duffel bag of clothing and my Bible, and started walking down the street toward the hotel, in the early evening twilight. I had been walking for about two minutes when I saw the motel. I felt an acute longing to be there already, which I was sure was my desire to have John hold me in his arms once more. I was so ready to kiss him once more that I was not vigilant in paying attention to my surroundings.
They came out of nowhere.
A group of about ten men with dark black hair and brown skin, each of them covered in what looked like writing on their skins.
“Hola, mamí,” the one nearest to me said.
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand you,” I said.
“Es no problema, mamí. You don’t need to understand us. We can understand you.”
“Okay…?” I replied, completely unnerved by his aggressive demeanor and his sudden change from a language I had never heard before to English.
“You have something we want,” he said. It was clear that he was the leader.
“Okay? And what is that?”
“Que coño.”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t know what that is.”
“Don’t worry…you have it, and we want it. You can either give it to us, or we will take it. It is your choice, mamí.”
“Well, if I knew what it was, I could answer you.”
“That was the wrong thing to say, puta.”
“I’m sorry, I just—” and that was all I could say before they jumped on me, dragging me into an alley.
Chapter Eight
“Don’t scream, puta, or I will kill you. ¿Entender?”
“No!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, and immediately, I tasted blood in my mouth, and a terrible throbbing pain on my left cheek and head.
“I told you not to scream!” the man who was the leader of the gang of my attackers growled in my ear.
“Help!” I screamed again, completely terrified, and I felt an even stronger blow strike me on the left side of my head.
“Shut up! Shut up now!” he said, his hand on my mouth, keeping. “This is your last warning, puta! If you scream again, I will kill you! Do you understand me?”
“Mhm…” I hummed through his hand that was still gagging me.
“Conseguir sus pantalones ahora,” he said to another member of the group, and I could feel the jeans that I had so recently put on for the first time be torn from my body. I was terrified for both myself and the baby that I thought I was carrying at the time. If ten men were going to hurt me in that way, would my baby survive.
The leader of the group had two of his crony’s to hold me down at my shoulders while he stood up and unbuttoned the front of his own jeans. He positioned himself over me, and just as he was about to violate me, I felt his weight leave my body, and I curled up into a ball to protect my stomach.
Unable to see anything, I could only gather what was happening around me from the sounds of the strange language wrenching the night. I had no way of knowing who my savior was, but I was thankful that he had come to my aid. Finally, with a loud thud, I looked over, my braid only slightly obscuring my view, and I saw my would be rapist fall to the ground, unconscious.
I looked up to take in the image of my savior, and the first thing I saw was piercing blue eyes, and a hat like the one that my father wears.
“Jenny?” the figure’s voice said, “Oh my god! Are you okay? Did they?”
“No, John, you stopped them in time.”
“What are you doing here?” he asked, pulling me to my feet.
“I was coming to see you.”
“Okay, but why didn’t you just write me a letter? Or is something wrong?”
“No, nothing is wrong,” I said, reclosing my lower extremities.
“Okay, then what did you need to tell me?”
“John…I am pregnant.”
“You’re…” he said, taken aback.
“Yes.”
“Going to have a baby?”
“Yes…you are going to be a father, John.”
After I told John about his child that I was carrying in my stomach, he immediately dropped to one knee, and asked me to marry him. He told me that he was totally in love with me, and that his plan had been to come back to our community and immediately marry me anyway. We spent the remainder of the weekend in his motel room, planning how we would live our life together.
Now, we are married, and our child will be born in less than two months. He is an amazing husband, and I feel completely safe with him.
Life is good.
THE END
Growing up Secret Love
Chapter One
Miriam stirred in bed after hearing the first crow of the cock and knew her mother would come knocking on the door if she will not get out of bed soon. She threw back her covers and simply got to her feet before letting out a loud yawn and walking towards her window. Something on the bed caught her eye and she had to walk back to it and a sudden fear overcame her. There was a small pool of blood that had stained where she had slept and this forced her to look at her sleeping dress. She felt even more scared when her gaze landed on the stain that was equally printed on her dress too. Her mouth went dry as she thought about what her mother would say to her and placed her hand on her head. Her mind raced back to the day before and she wondered what she had eaten or where she had cut herself for her to bleed that much. A knock on her door caught her unawares and she debated whether to tell her mother what was going on.
“Miriam”, her mother called from the other side. She chose to remain silent and hoped that she would go away.
“Miriam”, she called again, this time with more urgency in her tone. Miriam combed a hand through her hair and felt hot steamy tears run down her cheeks uncontrollably.
“Miriam, wake up we have to bake scorns for breakfast today”, her other instinctively opened the door and looked at her. She was greeted by the site on her bed and a very frightened Miriam standing next to the bed.
“I am sorry mother”, Miriam started to say “I do not know what I ate or where I cut myself”
She let her head rest in the palms of her hands as she waited for the much anticipated scolding.
“Miriam how old are you?”
“Eleven” she let out almost in a whisper.
“You are an early bloomer aren’t you?” her mother said and let out an encouraging smile before she walked out of the room She left a confused Miriam still standing and looking at the floor. She walked back in momentarily with a few things in her hands but Miriam could not really tell what they are. She knew she had seen them before with her elder sisters but they had always told her to mind her own business and that she was still a child.
Her mother sat on the bed and pulled her close to her before placing a loving hand on her head.
“I have always dreaded this day”, she started as she slowly rubbed her hair “It is a clear indication of two things, one is that I am growing old and two my baby is now a woman. My last born child has now become of age”
Miriam was still very confused but knew better than to interrupt her mother when she spoke. Knowing her, she would eventually come to the point after ranting on and on about irrelevant facts.
“Miriam”, her mother said out loud before drawing her into a loving hug and looking at her straight in the eyes. “You are now a woman”
Miriam looked back at her mother and knew that there was so much that she was going to tell her. She listened keenly as she explained to her about the sudden changes in her body and how to count her days for her cycle. She went on to demonstrate how she would wear the sanitary towels that she had in her hand before giving her a last hug.
“Now go wash up”, she said and proceeded to tak
e off the sheets from her bed. “You will need to soak these in cold water and wash them immediately to prevent them from making a permanent mark.
She said this as she walked over to her wooden cabinet and pulled out a fresh pair.
“Go wash up my dear, we still have to bake those scorns you know”, she encouraged her daughter and watched as she timidly left the room.
“And Miriam”
“Yes mama”
“I do not want to see you play with Jacob in the woods again”, she warned.
“Why not?”
“Because grown women do not go rabbit hunting my dear”
“But I am very good at it mama”, Miriam complained.
“Do not argue with me young lady”, her mother snapped and watched as she bent her head low and walked out of the house. She had hoped her daughter would have outgrown her boyish ways by now but knowing her, she knew that she will still hunt for rabbits.
She shook her head and compared her to her elder sisters; she was unique and definitely special in her own way. But she knew that her opinion did not matter and there way of life could not favor her either. She took in a deep breath shook her head in slight disappointment and walked out of the door to go about her wifely duties
****
Miriam stood in the woods with her basket well tucked under her arm, she had been sent by her mother to go and collect wild berries and plums for jam making later on. She had gotten distracted by a small baby rabbit and did not hear the slight hustle among the leaves behind her.
“Hello”, a still deep voice caught her by surprise and she almost jumped out of her skin. She took a while to turn her attention to whoever was talking to her knowing very well that she was not supposed to talk to strangers.
“Excuse me”, the voice called again.
Miriam wanted nothing more than to heed to her mother’s words of wisdom but curiosity got the better of her. With much resolve and bravery, she turned slowly to face whoever it was with her gaze fixed on the floor.
“Hi”, he said but Miriam did not want to look up. She did not want to talk to the stranger but his voice was soothing and had a friendly tone to it. She dared to look up from the floor and her eyes travelled slowly on his physique. She fast took in the odd shoes that he had on, they looked like sponge almost rubbery but not really. She noticed that the shoe lace pattern was much similar to the boots that she had on her feet. She went on to look at the pants that he had on; they were not from the material that she was used to. This particular material looked hard and tough like leather. She secretly compared it to the trousers that she had seen her father and brother wear and wondered how the wearer washed it.
The Time Turner Page 8