by Jaci Burton
He was a prick. A prick in love with a perfect woman.
Confession time. And once he confessed, he’d beg her forgiveness and ask her for another chance. Because he wanted this relationship with her, as strange and scary as these feelings were.
Sucking in a breath of fortitude, he knocked on her door.
Lara opened it, grinning. “We’ve got to get you a key. No point in knocking, you practically live here anyway.”
Pang, pang, pang went the guilt in his stomach. “Good idea.”
“I poured some wine. You want some?”
Yeah, a whole bottle. With a straw. “Sure.”
He followed her into the kitchen, never tiring of the sexy sway of her hips. Even dressed in faded gray gym shorts and a skimpy little tank top, she exuded sexuality.
And so completely unaware of it, too. That’s what made her so different than any other woman he’d known.
She handed him a glass, then sat at the table with him. “I finished my portion of the last article. Did you send in the first one yet?”
Bang, bang, bang. Remorse burned like a fire-breathing dragon now. “Yeah. Few days ago.”
“Any feedback yet?”
“No.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Well, dammit, I’m dying to know what your editor thinks.”
“They typically don’t respond unless there’s something that needs to be changed. If it’s good-to-go as is, he’ll just run it.”
“Oh. Well, see how much I have to learn about the magazine business?”
Yeah. She had a lot to learn all right. Like how to be a lying prick and manipulate your way to the top. He could teach her about that. He was a goddamned expert at it. “You’re doing fine.”
“Good.”
Silence permeated the room. Mark fought for the right way to broach the subject of what he’d done.
“Mark, I have something to tell you.”
Good opening. “Okay. I have something I’d like to tell you, too.”
Her eyes sparkled with her grin. “Wouldn’t it be funny if we had the same thing to say to each other?”
Not a chance of that happening. “Yeah.”
“Okay, give me a minute. I’m a mess here from cooking and I need to clean up a bit and change clothes. I’ll be right back and then we can talk.”
He nodded, pondering his glass of wine and wishing he could crawl into the bottle right now and pull a cork over his head.
Hiding out didn’t seem to be an option. As soon as she came back he was telling her the truth.
* * * * *
Lara fussed with her hair and straightened the slinky little skirt and top, hoping it would have the desired effect.
Not bad for a dowdy professor. Tight black skirt, equally body-hugging spandex tube top. If anyone had told her a month ago she’d be dressed this way and about to tell a guy she was in love with him, she would have certified them as insane.
Then again, maybe she was the insane one.
She stood in front of the mirror. Okay, not bad. She might not be a fashion model, but she’d get a rise out of him.
The phone rang just as she was leaving the bedroom. She picked it up, annoyed that whoever was calling was interrupting her confession of love to Mark.
“Doctor Lara McKenzie?”
Lara didn’t recognize the gruff voice on the other end of the line. “Yes?”
“This is Jonathan Smitz with Total Man Magazine.”
“Oh, hello, Jonathan! I’m so glad to finally be able to talk to you!”
He laughed. “Me, too. I just wanted to thank you for agreeing to do the articles with Mark.”
“It was my pleasure.”
“See? I told him it wouldn’t be hard to convince you. And he said you’d be a tough sell. It sure ended up easier than he thought it was going to be.”
“Excuse me?”
Jonathan continued, laughter in his voice. “Well, he did say he’d have to get you to fall in love with him before you’d agree to write for our magazine. Glad to know he didn’t have to resort to such drastic measures.”
Lara’s hand trembled and she fought for control of the telephone. “Fall in love with him?”
Jonathan’s chuckle reverberated through her nerve endings. “Yeah. Hey, I told him to do whatever it took to get you on board. Glad to know our boy is so persuasive.”
She felt sick. Whatever it took? No. She hadn’t heard correctly. It couldn’t be. Mark wouldn’t do that to her. He was different than the other men she’d known. He had to be. His feelings were genuine.
“Anyway, I called to talk to you about your contract with TMM.”
His voice was nothing more than a buzz in her ears. “I…I have to go, Jonathan. Nice talking to you.”
Jonathan started to say something else, but Lara hung up, then plopped onto the bed. Despite the July heat, her entire body chilled.
She closed her eyes and fought back tears. Tears of stupidity that she quickly swiped away.
Humiliation burned in her throat and traveled down into her stomach. Mark had been using her. Using her! The idea to write the articles didn’t happen after he’d gotten to know her. He’d come back here with the express purpose of getting her to agree to co-write with him.
He wanted something from her. Ulterior motives. Just like before. She hadn’t grown any smarter in the ways of men and relationships. In fact, this one was worse than the first time.
Someone should stamp gullible in the middle of her forehead. Although it seemed she already wore it like a neon sign, probably emblazoned on her dumb ass.
How could he do this to her? She thought he cared about her, thought maybe he even loved her. If it didn’t hurt so damn bad she’d laugh about that part.
She wasn’t loveable. Never had been, never would be. She wasn’t meant to have relationships. She should have stayed with Bob. At least Bob wouldn’t have hurt her.
A desire to crawl under the covers and curl up into a ball of denial was nearly overpowering. But Mark still sat in her kitchen.
She had to get him out of her house.
Out of her life.
Out of her heart.
Right now.
Fighting for control, she smoothed her hair back and walked into the kitchen. Mark turned to her with a smile on his face.
His smile died.
“What’s wrong?”
“That was your editor on the phone.”
“Jonathan?”
“Yes.”
A wary look crossed his face. “What did he want?”
She stepped around him and leaned against the counter, refusing to go anywhere near him. “Oh, he just wanted to commend you for blindsiding me so brilliantly.”
He paled and swallowed, hard. “What do you mean?”
“I mean he told me, Mark. Told me you would have done anything to get me to agree to do those articles.”
The chair scraped the floor as he pushed back and stood. Her heart pounded madly against her breast, but she refused to budge as he drew closer. “It wasn’t like that, Lara. You’ve got to believe me.”
“Oh, I’ve got to believe you? I don’t think so.”
“I wanted to write for TMM, I admit. Jonathan said that the only way I could do that was to bring you on board. So I got this stupid scheme in my mind that if I dated you, you’d get comfortable with me and agree to do the articles. But then I got to know you and—”
She held up her hand. “Oh, don’t tell me. You got to know the real me and fell madly in love.”
“Yes.”
Refusing to believe the sincerity in his near whisper, she shook her head. “Too little, too late, Mark. You got what you wanted from me. Four great articles for TMM. You’ll have to find another woman to write with you now, because our working relationship ends today. In fact, our everything ends right now. Get out.”
“Lara, please. Let me explain. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen this way. I didn’t know I was going to fall in love with you.�
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Her throat constricted with the struggle not to cry. “Do not tell me you love me. At least be honest now.”
“I am being honest, Lara. I love you.”
“Get out. Now. I mean it. Don’t ever come back here again. Don’t ever contact me again.”
She brushed past him, hurried to her bedroom and slammed the door, needing that wall between them. With a shuddering breath she held the tears in while she waited for him to leave, holding back the emotions boiling within her until she heard the final click of the front door.
Only when she was convinced he was gone did she let it all out.
She wouldn’t have been surprised if the neighbors heard her sobs.
Chapter Nine
“Are you out of your mind?”
Mark stood firm against Jonathan’s wide-eyed expression. “I’m serious, Jonathan. Pull the articles.”
Two weeks after returning to New York, Mark wasn’t any closer to forgiving himself for what he’d done.
There was nothing he could do to change Lara’s mind about him. He’d tried to see her, but she wouldn’t let him in. Wouldn’t take his phone calls, either. No matter what he did or said, she’d never believe in him again. He didn’t blame her.
But he could do one thing.
Jonathan’s eyes widened. “You’re joking. We’re going to print in two days.”
“Tough. Lara won’t sign a contract and is threatening to sue if we run the articles.”
“What the hell happened? I thought she was all gung ho about them.”
He shrugged and tried to act nonchalant. “Who the hell knows? PMS, maybe? She changed her mind.”
“Well, that makes no fucking sense.”
Pushing the point home, he said, “She’s a woman, Jonathan. They don’t make sense.”
“Godammit, the article was great. Did you try to convince her to let it run?”
“Yeah. She said she’d sic her attorneys on us if we even attempted to print the article without her permission.”
“I thought you’d gotten her to sign the contracts.”
Oh, he did. They were in his briefcase, soon to be run through the shredder. “I thought she had signed them and sent them in herself. Then I found out she hadn’t, and sure as hell isn’t now.”
With a sigh, Jonathan nodded. “Guess this means you’re out of a job with TMM, Mark. Sorry. No go without Lara McKenzie.”
And it was so much less than what he really deserved. “No big deal, Jonathan. See you later.”
He walked out of the offices of TMM, feeling not the least bit upset about losing the prime opportunity to write for one of the best men’s magazines in the country.
He’d get over it. There were other jobs.
But there was only one Lara.
* * * * *
Lara tried to smile for Nancy. She was certain it came out more of an apathetic grimace.
She’d hid it from Nancy as long as she could, but her friend finally figured it out and forced her to tell all about the disastrous episode with Mark.
“Honey, I’m so sorry. I just didn’t see it.”
Lara nodded. “Neither did I. But it’s true.”
Nancy grasped Lara’s hand and sidled closer to her on the sofa. “You love him, don’t you?”
“No.”
“Lara.”
“I don’t.” At Nancy’s dubious expression, Lara added, “Okay, maybe I thought I was falling in love with him, but I wised up as soon as I found out the truth.”
Nancy shook her head. “Just doesn’t make sense. He seemed to sincerely care about you.”
“Uh-huh. Don’t they all? But they all want something.”
“You’re pretty cynical.”
“I’ve earned the right. He got what he wanted. A series of articles from both our perspectives. Nothing I can do about the ones we’d already written. I did sign a contract.”
“Maybe he’ll get fired for losing you.”
“Doubtful. He’s very talented. They’d be crazy to let him go.”
“When does the first article come out?”
“It’s already out, I think.”
“You gonna read them?”
“No. I don’t want to be reminded about Mark Whitman ever again.”
And yet, two hours later she was browsing the bookstore at the mall, immediately spotting the cover of TMM.
She wouldn’t look. She wouldn’t. Okay, maybe she would. She grabbed the issue and flipped to the table of contents, running her fingers down the titles.
That’s odd. No article. And they’d specifically stated in the issue with Mark’s interview of her that they’d be following up with regular features including the two of them.
Yet, nothing.
Maybe there’d been a delay.
But something nagged at her. She bought the magazine and took it home, then went through every page.
She found the retraction in small print under the editor’s comments.
Correction—The new feature, He Said/She Said, with Mark Whitman and Dr. Lara McKenzie, will not run as indicated in our last issue. We apologize for any inconvenience.
The articles weren’t going to be printed. But why? It didn’t make sense. She’d had her part done already. All Mark had to do was finish up edits and turn them in. When he’d shared with her the payment for a regular feature, she’d nearly fallen out of the chair.
It was an amazing amount of money. And he’d been excited as a kid about becoming a feature writer for TMM.
So where were the articles?
Before she could analyze her reasoning, she picked up the phone and called Jonathan Smitz at TMM.
“Doctor McKenzie,” he said, his voice filled with caution. “We didn’t run the articles, just as you’d dictated.”
What the hell was he talking about? “I didn’t say not to run the articles.”
“Yes, you did. Mark told us you threatened a lawsuit if the articles ran. We canceled the series.”
Canceled the series? “I don’t understand, Jonathan. I never asked Mark to kill the articles.”
Jonathan went silent. “He said you did. That you never signed the contract. That you threatened to sue us if we ran the articles.”
But she’d signed the contract. Mark told them to kill the series? Why would he do that? Unless…
No. She was not going to fall for it again. Never again.
But why would he give up the notoriety and fame that would accompany writing for a high-profile magazine like TMM? Why?
She closed her eyes and listened to her heart. No matter what, she couldn’t deny Mark his success.
“Jonathan, listen to me. I want you to run the series.”
“Look, Lara, we’ve already canceled them.”
“I signed a contract.”
“No, you didn’t.”
She’d given the signed contracts to Mark. He’d never turned them in. He canceled the articles because of her!
“Overnight me a contract. I’ll sign it. I want you to run the first article in your next issue.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. Obviously we just got our wires crossed here. I promise there’s no problem with me writing for TMM. Gives me a chance to reach more readers.”
“Fantastic! I’ll have the contracts drawn up and sent to you immediately.”
“Good. And Jonathan? Do me a favor. Don’t tell Mark about this. I want it to be a surprise.”
When she hung up, she wandered through the house, perplexed as hell by what she’d found out.
Mark had given up his dream for her. He’d given up fame, money, everything. But why would he do that unless his feelings for her were genuine?
Did she dare put her heart on the line again?
* * * * *
Mark opened the issue of Total Man Magazine that Jonathan had overnighted to him.
What the hell was Jonathan thinking? He was through with TMM. Did they give him a subscription as a consolation prize?
He Said/She Said! All About Sex From Opposing Sides Of The Mattress!
Shit! Goddamn, Jonathan! He yanked his cell phone out and quickly dialed Jonathan’s number.
“Hey, sport,” Jonathan said. “You surprised?”
“Are you insane? What the hell were you thinking running that feature?”
Jonathan laughed. “Calm down. I have a signed contract from Lara McKenzie and her written go-ahead to run the feature.”
“What?”
“You heard me. I would have told you, but she made me promise to keep it a surprise. Hey, you two got something going on or what?”
“Uh, no. She told you to run the articles?”
“Yup. I gotta run to a meeting. Let’s talk on Monday about the next series of articles. You’re back on board, Mark. And top management really likes your writing. They want to talk to you about doing more work for us.”
“With Lara, you mean.”
“Well, the feature with Lara is great, but you’re a damn good writer. They have a few other things in mind for you to work on solo. I’ll be in touch next week.”
Mark stared at the phone as if he’d just had an out-of-body experience. That call hadn’t just happened. No way in hell would Lara have agreed to run those articles.
She hated him.
Didn’t she?
But if she hated him, why did she call Jonathan? And more importantly, why did she ask Jonathan to keep them a secret?
Hope filled the empty void he’d been carrying around for a month.
She loved him. That had to be it.
But why? She shouldn’t love him. God knows he didn’t deserve it. The first time he’d fallen in love and he’d fucked it up badly. He’d hurt the one person he cared about more than anyone else.
He had to see her, had to ask her why she told Jonathan to print the series.
And maybe, just maybe, if he groveled hard enough, she’d give him another chance.
He shook his head as he jammed things into his overnight bag. Mark Whitman, the guy who’d never fallen in love, was just about to get down on his knees and beg forgiveness from the one woman who’d managed to capture his heart.
* * * * *
Lara grinned at the cover of TMM, their feature highlighted in big bold letters.