by Amelia Wilde
“Are you two ready to order?”
The voice is a stab through the ugly feeling in my chest, and I turn already knowing who it is. Of course it’s her. Of course. I got here a few minutes late, and Cole already had a bottle of wine on the table. I didn’t see the waitress until just now.
But you know what? I’m not going to let her see that she got to me.
“Hey, Reg,” I tell her with a big smile, but there’s anger flashing in her eyes. It takes everything in my being not to roll mine at her. She’s the one who practically pushed me into the lake, not the other way around. “What’s good here?”
She puts on a smile that might seem real to anyone else as she rattles off specials that seem like something from one of the experimental menus from one of those restaurants in the city that will be gone in a weekend. Cole waits patiently as she recites the entire list. “The usual,” he says in the ringing silence once she’s done.
“Toasted?”
“What’s the usual?” Why do I care that I don’t know what the usual is for Cole Granger? Why does it suddenly matter that Reggie knows what it is, that he’s got some special in with her, that he’s so damn comfortable here, and I’m seething underneath my dress shirt and shorts?
“A BLT,” Reggie says.
“It’s not always easy to get something like that at Indigo, but they indulge me,” Cole says with genuine warmth in his voice.
God. Why does he think this place is so great? Am I missing something?
Besides Reggie, that is.
“I’ll have the same.”
She doesn’t bother to ask me if I want anything else, just sticks her notepad into her pocket and leaves.
“Well,” Cole says in a measured tone. “I hadn’t planned on any new developments this year, but I could take a look at the property.”
“It’s just about lakeside,” I tell him. “But you already knew that.” My father couldn’t afford property on the actual lakefront, but he got as close as he could on the nice side of town. “I don’t know. It’d probably be perfect for some luxury units. You could do a lot with it, I bet. Stuff the people of Reckless Falls will absolutely love.” The last sentence comes out sarcastically, and now Cole does frown. This time, he doesn’t bother to hide it.
“Are you in town for long?” he asks, and I tell him about the city, about my company, about how I wouldn’t dare stay any longer than I need to. Not in a place like this. He lets me ramble on until the food comes, delivered by a silent Reggie who disappears as soon as the plates are on the table.
I swallow the curdled feeling in my chest and try to steer the conversation in a better direction. “How’s Autumn?” Cole married Autumn Melton a year or two ago. At some point during the reunion, I saw pictures featuring a redheaded toddler who looks just like her.
“Good,” he says around a mouthful of his BLT. “Really good. She might go for the new principal job at the elementary next year. I think she’d be great at it.”
“She probably would.” I’ve already inhaled my BLT. I didn’t realize how hungry I was when I walked in here. “She’s one of those who doesn’t mind being trapped here. That school building has to be sixty years old now.”
Cole isn’t finished with his sandwich, but he puts the last quarter of it down on his plate and gives me a long look across the table. “Speaking of, I’m supposed to pick some things up at the school. New school year. Packing up the classrooms and all that.” He doesn’t smile, which is uncharacteristic of him. “I’ve already got the bill, so—” He stands up, producing a business card from his pocket. “When you’re ready to have me go take a look at the property, give me a call.
“Hey, thanks, man,” I say, standing up to try to catch his hand, but Cole is already weaving his way through the tables. “Shit.” I say it under my breath, but naturally, someone hears.
“You know—”
Reggie is standing by my elbow, emerging out of nowhere, and it scares the shit out of me.
“Reg, you’re going to give me a heart attack.”
She narrows her eyes, looking down her nose at me. “You’re going to give everyone else a heart attack. Do you realize how loud you’re talking?”
“Not that loud.”
“Loud enough for everyone to hear the asshole from the city talking about how much this place sucks.”
The place does suck. This is the place where my father decided to cheat on my mother with a nurse he saw every day at the local hospital. This is the place my mother had to walk through, moving all of our belongings to a rental in the Ass End. She was fucking humiliated, and so was I.
“Are you here to talk to me, Reggie?” I look down at my empty plate and feel mildly sick. This is not how I wanted this lunch to go. All of that old hatred bubbled up and spewed out all over Cole and this perfectly good, if pretentiously presented, BLT.
“No, I’m here to yell at you. Stop shitting on everyone in Reckless Falls.”
“You do love to yell at me.” Reggie makes a show of collecting the plates on the table. It doesn’t have to take this long.
“You love to act like an idiot. If you weren’t such an idiot, no yelling would be necessary.”
“Oh, I’m the idiot? I think you’re blinded by love.” I laugh, and Reggie rolls her eyes. “What’s so great about this place, then?”
“The ice cream at Scoops is pretty good.”
“Yeah, but the food at Bob and Lou’s was always terrible.
Reggie thinks for a minute. “That stuff doesn’t matter. We both know that the best place is the falls.” She’s trying to look at me like she hates me, and maybe she does, but she’s still not walking away.
“I can’t argue with that.”
She shrugs, and even that movement is so damn beautiful that I want to kiss her right now. It’s an overpowering feeling, so intense that I almost stand up and do it, but the way she shoved me off of her on the rock the other night hits me again. “I don’t go up there much.”
“I haven’t been to the falls in years.” The words are coming out of my mouth like I’ve been possessed by a man even more masochistic than I am. “I’d go, but—”
“But what?” Reggie can’t seem to help herself either.
“I’ll only go if you go.”
She doesn’t say no.
12
Regina
I’d run the triathlon course upwards of thirty times now, so a trail run was a welcome change of pace. One foot in front of the other, as I wind between the roots and loose stones lining the path up to the falls, I breathe easily. This is a training run.
I’m not here to see Adam. That is not why I’m sprinting through the cool forest. My heart is pounding with exertion.
Not excitement.
I take a deep breath, concentrating on my breathing pattern. In and out. The rustling of the leaves gives way to the rushing sound of the falls as I get closer, then it dies away as I turn and take the switchback, gaining elevation incrementally. I’m fast and getting faster, and there are only three more turns before the leaves thin out. Suddenly I burst into the clearing that runs along the banks of Reckless Creek, and I pause to slump against a leaning tree to catch my breath.
And then I stand up straight because he’s here.
Adam is crouched on the other side of the wide creek, bending to dip his hand into the rushing water. I’m still in the shadow of the tree, but he is out in the full sun and it blazes on him like a spotlight. Whatever my feelings for him might be, I say a quick prayer of thanksgiving to God and all the angels above that he has his shirt off right now. I say a second prayerful thank you that he hasn’t noticed me yet and I can spy on him, unobserved.
“Damn, Adam,” I mutter. His torso looks like it was carved by some very attentive sculptor and then burnished to a high sheen. I can see his abs from here, but there’s more to him than just the usual glamor muscles. ”I didn’t know you could work out the muscles in between your ribs,” I mutter, because apparently I talk
to myself now. I know for certain I am losing it because in addition to the muttering, I’m also getting wrapped up in a wild and yet highly detailed fantasy of the two of us working out together. What kind of training sessions would he put me through?
And then I squirm and stand up straight, cheeks flaming, feeling like some kind of Peeping Tom. This is my friend, one of my oldest friends. So what if he kissed me? We were both a little drunk.
Adam crouches down again. He lets his fingers dangle in the water for a second before he splashes the water on the back of his neck, and then he straightens up. I watch him looking around, taking in the deep green of the late-summer woods, the golden light of the sun as it falls at a sharper angle through the trees. His brown eyes are hidden in the shadows, but I can see the set of his mouth from here, and it’s more relaxed than I’ve seen it since his return. When was the last time I saw him looking so at peace? It had to have been back when we were kids, back before his parents split and all that awful shit went down with his dad.
For a second, my fingers clench at the rough bark of the leaning tree. How could I have forgotten how hard that was for him? With his father parading around town with his new wife, the ink on the divorce papers barely dry? The worst part for Mrs. Lane was realizing the rumors were true, that the whispers behind her back at the grocery store weren’t just malicious and jealous lies like she’d hoped. Adam had suffered at school, I knew this even though I wasn’t there with him. He tried to put on a brave face about the whole thing by insisting that he hated his father and never wanted to see him again, but I knew that even though his parents’ marriage was over, he still needed to know that his father cared about him. But Mr. Lane had been too wrapped up in his newfound freedom to walk hand in hand with his young bride to remember he had a son who hated and loved him in equal measure.
No wonder he's changed his name.
I watch as Adam turns northward towards the falls. I can’t see it from this angle, but I know that view by heart. The way the town nestles in the valley between the two humped mountains, while the blue ribbon of the lake meanders to the horizon. It’s the kind of view that cannot help but make you smile. But Adam is scowling. He squares his shoulders and I see his fists ball at his sides, almost like he’s challenging the entire town to a fight. And for a second, I feel a protective surge, this misplaced desire to defend my hometown, our hometown, from his hate.
That desire propels me from my perch against the leaning tree, and I step out into the sunlight. Adam’s head whips around. “Oh shit!” he calls over the sound of the creek. “Hang on!” he cries as he makes a beeline for his shirt.
I can’t help but laugh. “What are you doing?” I call. “I used to come to your track meets! Remember?”
His smile is wide and beaming, and I can’t hear his laugh over the sound of the water, but I can see it and I swear I can feel it, too. He says something that I can’t understand, so I shake my head and cup my hand to my ear. “I was so skinny!” he yells louder.
I spread my hands and pantomime a shrug. “I was sort of fat, so…”
He wrinkles his nose and waves his hand dismissively, then says something else.
“What?”
“I said, what are you doing all the way over there?” he shouts.
I point. “I came up the trail! What are you doing over there?”
He jabs a finger in the direction of the far woods. “I came up the trail!”
I crane my neck. “That’s a dumb way!”
“It’s the way I’ve always gone!”
“You’ve always gone the dumb way!”
He throws up his hands. I cross my arms over my chest and shake my head. He smacks his palm to his forehead and then drags it down, yanking his mouth into a comically oversized frown and suddenly we are both laughing. “Well, now what?” I yell.
“Hang on!” he shouts. “I’ll come to you!”
My hands go to my mouth. Even though it’s shallow here, the current is swift and the roar of the falls is not far off. “What? No! Don’t do that!”
“Why not?” He is already stepping out into the water, his shoes in hand.
“Adam, no!”
He looks up from watching his footing with that damn grin on his face. “I bet I can make it across just fine!!”
I roll my eyes heavenward. “You and your stupid bets! Jesus, Adam!” And before I know what I’m doing, I’m yanking my trail running shoes off and scrambling to the sharply carved bank. I hesitate, then plunge my feet into the freezing water up to my ankles. “Jesus!” I shriek as the cold seeps in painfully before my feet go numb.
Adam is shuffling, pitched way forward, picking his way carefully like an old man, his arms windmilling wildly to keep his balance. I look around, but there is nothing to grab onto. Adam is already three-quarters of the way over, so I bend at the knees, going forward on my toes, and sort of duck-walk to him. “How the fuck do you make me do this?” I shout over the sound of the water.
“What?” he laughs.
“I always do the most ridiculous stuff when I’m with you.”
“I know, Reg.” He is grinning, and getting closer by the second. “Isn’t it great?”
13
Adam
I swear under my breath, but shuffle forward. My feet are numb, and I’m up to my knees now, feeling the insistent tug of the frigid current. I have no idea what Reggie thinks she’s doing, coming out into the water to meet me, but something like joy pools in my chest when I see her trying to pretend it’s not hellishly cold.
“Yeah,” she calls, way too loudly. “It’s g-great.” The rocks are slippery as fuck, and I’m glad it’s only a few more feet to the riverbank. It’s less than that to her. As soon as she’s within arm’s reach, I grab her around the waist. I’m done hesitating. For once, she seems like she’s in a good mood. Plus, if she keeps going out into the water, we’re going to end up on opposite sides. Pointless.
She moves closer to me on instinct, and I feel a single moment where her muscles tense, like she can’t decide whether to grab onto me or not.
Then she does, one arm slipped over my neck. I keep moving, trying to pick the least sharp rocks, but Reggie’s trying to do the same thing. Our feet collide in the frigid water.
“I’m walking here,” Reggie cries, kicking me.
“You wouldn’t be walking at all without me.”
She plays at pushing me away, but I’ve got a firm grip and pretend to lose my balance.
“Don’t you dare!” she shrieks, pulling back. “Don’t you dare. I’ll freeze to death!”
“I bet you’ll survive.”
Reggie reaches down and scoops some water into her palm, throwing it sideways at me, mostly missing. Her teeth are chattering. “I normally have better aim.” We’re almost to the bank. Suddenly it hits me that I’d stand in this water forever if it meant that I could keep feeling her hip bumping into mine, the curve of her waist beneath my arm. I don’t want to let go of her.
I’m a single step away from the bank when I choose the wrong rock. It slides out from under my foot, taking my balance with it, and I tumble sideways into the water. Reggie twists out of my grip at the last moment, saving herself, and when I resurface, sputtering, her face is bright red with laughter.
“Fuck!” I shout, the cold zinging up along the side of my rib cage, all the way to my shoulder. “It’s cold!”
Reggie steps out onto the riverbank, practically doubled over with laughter, and rolls backward onto her ass. “Come on, killer,” she says between gasps, and pats the wide surface of the bank next to her. “Lie in the sun. Warm up.”
I slop my way out of the water and sprawl out in the patch of sunlight. Now my teeth are clattering together so hard it almost hurts. At least the flat rocks of the banks have soaked up some sunlight, so they’re giving off heat. I’m glad there’s no fucking sand. “This is not the manly impression I wanted to give off.” I can hardly catch my breath.
“It’s me. You don’t ha
ve to be manly.” I can hear a little smile in her voice, even with my eyes closed.
“Come closer,” I say, patting the ground at my side. “I need your heat. Or else—”
“Or else what?”
“Or else I might die from walking in that fucking river. Damn, that was cold.”
“I told you,” she says, and I open my eyes just in time to see her shrug. I think for a minute she might not move any closer, but then she does, scooting across the rock.
We sit like that in silence for a while, listening to the rush of the creek. I clench my jaw until the shivering finally subsides. I want to be manly for Reggie. She doesn’t want that, though. Not if being manly means kissing her like I want to right this instant.
“See?” Reggie says after a while. “It’s not that bad.”
“We’re not even at the falls.”
She looks across at me, a strange smile on her face, and says nothing for a beat. “The view’s not bad from here.”
Warmth blooms in my chest, chasing away the last of the shivers. “Are you changing your answer now?”
“My answer to what?”
“What the best thing is about Reckless Falls,” I tease. “It’s me. You can admit it, Reggie. It’s me.”
“Ha.” She exhales the word, but she doesn’t pull away, back into herself. “If that was true, you’d never have left.”
“Oh, don’t.” I prop myself up on one elbow and look at the sun on the surface of the water, playing in little patterns. “I wanted to see what else was out there.”
Reggie presses her lips into a thin line. “Was it any good?”
At lunch with Cole Granger, the city seemed like a shining beacon on the hill. It seemed like the best place in the world, just because it wasn’t Reckless Falls. But sitting here, next to Reggie, I’m not so sure if that’s true.
“It’s okay,” I tell her, and the pause between us is so expectant that I’m surprised a baby doesn’t pop into existence out of thin air. I can’t help myself. Being around her makes me want to take a thousand risks. But I’ll start with one. “I wish you were there with me, though. I missed you.”