by Lynn Wood
He glanced over his shoulder at his wife and took note of the way she held herself stiffly as if she was preparing herself for a swift blow. He understood her nervousness now. When she opened her heart to him, he mocked her traditions in front of the king and queen. Yet here she was offering him a sign she considered his presence in her life a blessing. He was overwhelmed by her act of generosity, by the way she awarded his scorn with her gratitude.
He dressed quickly, then combed his shoulder length hair and replaced the usual leather tie he used to hold it away from his face with the strand of bells his wife left for him, noting how Rhiann’s shoulders stiffened with each tinkle from the bells. When he was finished dressing he strode across the room and let his hands descend gently on his wife’s shoulders. Her back was so straight he thought it might snap in half with only a little more encouragement on his part. So he massaged the tension from her shoulders and bent down and whispered in her ear, “Thank you.”
She swung around to face him, her emerald eyes shimmering with tears as they regarded him anxiously. “You don’t have to wear them, Nathan. I know you think they’re silly. I just wanted you to know…I wanted to tell you…” The tears hanging on her lashes surrendered their battle and slid down her cheeks.
Nathan smiled and tenderly brushed the tears away. “It is an honor, Rhiann, to wear the evidence you consider me a blessing in your life.”
She nodded at his conclusion and leaned her face up against his shoulder. “I love you, Nathan.”
Her whispered declaration never failed to astonish him. She loved him. She considered him a blessing worthy of her family’s sacred tradition. “You’re my life now, Rhiann. I can no longer envision my future without you.”
She lifted her face from his shoulder and raised shining eyes to his. There was anxiety there too, as if she was afraid to trust too greatly in his declaration. It would take time for her to learn to trust him completely. He brushed a stray curl away from her face. “You’ve still to finish braiding your hair.”
She nodded but made no move to see to the task and instead rested her head against his shoulder once more. His arms folded around her. His wife seemed to need his comfort, and though they were going to be late for the evening, he was content to hold her close in his embrace. She stole into his heart when he was so overwhelmed by the king’s generosity it never occurred to him to raise his defenses against her. In the wake of her gentle love, peace followed, a peace and contentment he never dared dream was possible for him. Contentment was for other men, for wealthier lords with lands and halls of their own. It surprised him to discover the peace he long craved was not purchased with the price of becoming a lord of his own hall, but by the tender love of his gentle young wife. Reluctantly he pulled away and bent and kissed the top of his wife’s head. “Should I send for your maid to assist you with your hair?”
Rhiann stepped from his embrace with seemingly equal reluctance and made quick work of her hair. He watched with surprised admiration the way her nimble fingers fashioned several small braided strands before she wound them around her head. When she was finished with her hair he quickly reached for her hand and pulled her towards the door and the safety the hall represented. Being alone with his wife for any length of time was a temptation he was hard pressed to ignore. His lips curved in an amused smile at his wife’s confused query. “Are we very late, Nathan?”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Nathan called a halt to the day’s training and nodded with satisfaction. The day proceeded exactly as he planned. Since his marriage, such an occurrence was now such a rarity in his life, he was learning to take new appreciation in a well-designed, disciplined schedule.
“Baron?” Nathan turned to Archibald, who stood wiping sweat from his brow, even in the brisk cool wind of approaching winter. His commander nodded in the direction of a party passing through the gates of the city, seemingly one of the many from Normandy intent on offering their good wishes to the new king and bearing witness to William’s coronation.
Nathan was just about to turn back to Archibald to inquire what made him think these new arrivals were worthy of his particular attention when the flag the squire carried, which previously lay flat in the uncertain breeze, was suddenly whipped to life. Nathan looked twice at the colors, then more closely at the riders escorting the party. It could not be possible. He blamed Luke’s prediction for bringing this assault upon him. Apparently his friend was right and his father elected to make the trip from Normandy to congratulate him on his good fortune. Nathan sighed his annoyance and thrust an irritated hand through his shoulder length hair, setting his wife’s bells jangling in protest.
As the party crested the hill, Nathan’s gaze widened in amazement. His three younger brothers rode ahead of the group, their eyes wide with excitement as they took in the sight of the city buzzing with activity. But it wasn’t the sight of his father and young brothers that ruined his satisfaction in the day, or even the sight of his older brother with his wife in tow. No coming up behind them was his mother and his previously, but never officially-betrothed, Lady Sara.
“For the love of…” Nathan barely gave voice to his disbelief when his commander interrupted his unwelcome thoughts.
“Baron.” This time Nathan noticed Archibald’s voice was filled with a sense of urgency accompanying the lively amusement threaded through it at his baron’s predicament.
“What!” Nathan demanded, in no mood to be a source of amusement for anyone, let alone his close friend.
Archibald directed his attention in the opposite direction and Nathan blanched at the sight of his wife approaching, being escorted by one of his men. She was dressed warmly and in riding clothes. Nathan vaguely remembered promising his wife a ride in the country this afternoon. The excitement on her face matched that of his younger brothers. His two families, the old and the new, were on a collision course.
He regretted bitterly now he had not followed Luke’s advice to inform Rhiann about his previous connection to Lady Sara. Apparently his family was not informed of his marriage accompanying his new estates else they never would have encouraged Lady Sara to accompany them. At the moment he was more concerned about Rhiann’s reaction to his family’s arrival and the news of his previous, never official betrothal, than he was of his family’s reaction to his new wife.
“Go greet my family. See them settled. Tell them I am away from the city for the afternoon on an errand for the king. Send Justin with my mount to the west gate. I swear I’m going to kill Luke the next time we meet.” Nathan gave his commands in a strict, no nonsense sequence that was completely wasted on his commander. Archibald greeted his commands with a burst of laughter, and then bowed somewhat mockingly.
“As you wish, my lord.”
Nathan didn’t wait to hear his friend’s assent. Archibald was his friend and comrade, but he was also his loyal vassal. He would do as he was told. Nathan set off at a brisk pace to intercept his wife. She stopped when he reached her, then curtseyed low before him and smiled sweetly up at him.
“It was not my intent to interrupt your training, Nathan. It is just such a beautiful day, I hoped to avoid wasting a single moment of it, but I am happy to wait with Thomas until you are finished training your men.”
He smiled at her eagerness and her simple delight in the day. He was not looking forward to her reaction to the news he was about to deliver. He took her by the hand and began heading off in the opposite direction.
“Where are we going? Will we not be able to ride today after all?” She was unable to completely keep the disappointment from her voice.
“Yes, wife, we are going riding, but I thought you might enjoy a ride along the beach.”
“Oh yes, Nathan, I would like that above all things.” She clung to his hand and hurried along by his side, almost running in her quest to keep up with the brisk pace he set in his eagerness to escape the city.
Nathan breathed a sigh of relief as they passed through the gates. Surprisingly he
enjoyed the ride along the beach if for no other reason than the sight of the smile on his wife’s lovely face and the joyful light in her eyes as she flew across the damp rocky surface along the water’s edge. They stopped on a lonely stretch far from the chaos of the activity of town. He let the horses graze while he stretched out his cloak on an incline and pulled his wife down next to him. Her innocent gaze was alight with joy and filled with gratitude.
“Oh Nathan, thank you so much for taking time away from training your men to ride with me today. I cannot remember the last time I was able to do so without worrying about…” She let her voice trail off and Nathan wondered just how long it had been since Rhiann could leave the safety of her home and not look over her shoulder in fear. He hated now the thought of robbing her of her joy in the day with the news he was about to deliver.
“Rhiann there is something I need to discuss with you.”
“Yes Nathan?” Already there was a new anxiety in her voice at the seriousness of his tone. Her previous carefree happiness suddenly shadowed like the sun behind a fresh cloud on the horizon.
“My family has arrived from Normandy.”
“Your family?”
He hated seeing the fear in her eyes. “Yes, someone must have informed them of the king’s generosity toward me. They are no doubt here to congratulate me.”
“No doubt.” Rhiann averted her gaze. Nathan promised she was his family now. How foolish she was to assume his declaration meant to him what it meant to her. Besides her grandmother, Nathan was the only family she had left, but Nathan had another family, another life he left behind in Normandy. She shouldn’t be feeling jealous. She should be pleased Nathan’s real family made the effort to share his good news with him.
Rhiann discovered she did not like the side of herself being reflected back at her at the news of Nathan’s family’s arrival. It made her feel small. She blinked away the tears gathering in her eyes and fixed a smile on her face, then lifted her gaze to her husband’s concerned one. “How wonderful for you, Nathan. I am certain you are very pleased at your family’s arrival. It wasn’t necessary for you to ride with me today. I know you would have rather spent your free time with your family.”
Nathan thrust a hand violently through his hair, setting the bells tied there jingling chaotically. This was not going well. He noticed the slight trembling in his wife’s hands now grasped tightly together in her lap as if in preparation for the next swipe he was about to deliver. The smile on her face, if you could call it that, was frozen on her stiff lips, a garish parody to her earlier, uncomplicated contentment in the day. He reached out and covered her hands with one of his own and squeezed gently. “You cannot be serious, wife. I would far rather spend my afternoon in your company than with my family.”
Her lips curved up slightly as if she appreciated his attempt to comfort her, but did not really believe his assertion, regardless of the truth prompting it. Nathan already felt as though he was guilty of betraying her trust and he had yet to deliver the worst of his news. He placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. Her gaze was focused on her clasped hands in her lap.
“Look at me, Rhiann.” Reluctantly she raised her eyes to his. His own took in the ready evidence of the tears shimmering in hers. “Rhiann, I pledged my commitment to you. Do you have so little faith in my honor?”
The stupid man obviously failed to understand the distinction between honor and love. She was at a loss as to why the duty fell upon her shoulders to instruct him. She was his wife now. She should come first in his heart. But wasn’t that the problem. Nathan never declared his love for her. He honored her. He would honor his commitment to her. When he told her he could no longer envision a future without her, she confused his knight’s honor with love. Nathan would never break his solemn vows to her. “I do not doubt your honor, husband.”
“Then tell me why this news distresses you.”
Rhiann quickly shook her head. She wished to avoid Nathan’s discovery of just how small and petty she was capable of being. She forced what she hoped was a more convincing smile on her face and lifted her glance to her husband’s. “I am not distressed, Nathan. I vow I am happy for you. I suppose your family’s arrival just reminded me of my own loss. Besides my grandmother, I have no other family left, unless Luke finds Melissa and Michel.”
Nathan was displeased hearing his wife’s stilted explanation. “You have me, wife.” Rhiann nodded at his reminder and averted her gaze again. He was at a loss as to how to convince her of her importance to him. He was not schooled in the ways of love between a man and a woman. His former life left no time for such training. He doubted such training even existed. Most men seemed to pick up what they needed to know naturally along the course of their lives. His own make-up was obviously deficient when it came to relationships with women, particularly young innocents like his wife.
At his continued silence, Rhiann slipped out from beneath his restraining hands and quickly regained her feet, keeping her face still averted from her husband’s probing glance. “We should be getting back, Nathan. You will no doubt wish to catch up with your family at the earliest opportunity. You probably have not had the opportunity to spend much time with them, what with the war and all…”
Rhiann was aware of her voice fading into silence as if she only just realized the portent of the words coming out of her mouth. She turned away and strode quickly towards the water’s edge, uncaring the damp ground would likely ruin her gown. She didn’t like feeling sorry for herself, especially when so many had suffered so much more from this war, but it wasn’t fair Nathan’s family was still completely intact while her own was decimated.
She brushed her fresh tears away with an impatient hand. Nathan must think she was a complete fool. He certainly would be in no mood to deal with her immaturity now, what with his family’s arrival. It was his right to feel joyful over his family’s visit and wrong of her to ruin his happiness with her grief over the loss of her own.
She lifted her head and whistled for Arden. His answering whinny had her striding towards him, her vision all but blinded by her tears. So she failed to notice when Nathan’s hand reached out to stop her progress and she immediately protested the embrace he pulled her into. It was a futile effort. His arms held the strength to snap her in half if that was his inclination. After a few moments she abandoned the unequal struggle and collapsed against his chest.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You should go back. It will be a wonderful reunion for you.”
Nathan didn’t have the slightest idea how to comfort his wife and at the same time disabuse her of the notion he was eagerly anticipating this impromptu family reunion. He’d seen his family only briefly over the years since he left home. They weren’t particularly close. He just assumed his family was like any other. He honored his father because he was his father. He was grateful for his mother’s care of him, but she was busy seeing to his father’s and brothers’ needs and running a household. There was little of the close affection Rhiann seemed to feel for her family. Obviously her youth and gender could account for some of the differences in their experience of their family lives, but not all.
He nudged her chin up with his thumb so she would be forced to meet his glance. He brushed the tears away from her cheeks. “Rhiann, I would disabuse you of your nonsensical notion I am pleased by my family’s arrival unannounced in London.”
“You are not pleased?”
Nathan smiled at her astonished expression. “No. Clearly, your own family was far closer than mine.”
“Truly? But Nathan I do not understand. How can you not be pleased they journeyed all this way to congratulate you?”
He was amused by her barely disguised rebuke hidden beneath what he was certain was the deliberate wording of her question. “It is doubtful that was their only motive.” He remarked dryly.
“But why else would they come?”
Surely his wife could not be that innocent. “Rhiann, I am not as highly
born as you.” If he harbored any lingering doubts as to whether or not his wife was aware of the great disparity in their backgrounds they were laid to rest by her matter of fact nod of acknowledgment at his bald statement. He smiled slightly and continued, “My status amongst my peers and my family was changed dramatically by the king’s generosity in awarding me a duke’s estates.”
“But surely such a thing would not matter to your family, Nathan. They would love you regardless of your circumstances.”
He was unable to stifle his wide grin at his wife’s naivety. “Perhaps, but I assure you, their fondness for me has no doubt increased as dramatically as the king’s generosity given recent events.”
Rhiann seemed shocked by his conclusion. “Oh, surely not Nathan!”
He gave up the struggle and laughed right in her face. “Oh, surely so, Rhiann. Do not pretend to be so shocked, wife. Surely you must know a man’s status and popularity among his peers is tied to the size of his wealth. I would bet even your sainted father would object to one of his daughters being married to a man so far beneath her own birth.”
“You would be wrong, Nathan. My father would be very pleased to have you for a son-in-law. He would admire you greatly for making your own way in the world and earning not only the king’s respect but that of your men and your peers.”
Nathan was astonished by his wife’s conclusion…pleased but shocked. “I sincerely doubt that, Rhiann.”
“Since you never met him, you must let me be the judge of my father’s approval or lack thereof.”
Nathan nodded, graciously conceding her point. He thought it was probably a comfort to his young wife to allow herself believe her father would be pleased with their union, when Nathan was very well aware the opposite would be the truth. Were her father still alive, a man of his status without lands of his own and the small amount of wealth he managed to gather in his life as a knight would preclude him from even being allowed in the presence of one of the duke’s daughters.