I knock on the door and pray that Sadie is all ready to leave. This way I can grab her and leave. I don’t want to be lingering around staring or drooling over Ashton.
“Hey.” His hazel eyes greet me at the door.
I give him a small smile.
“They’re in the middle of a movie. Come on in.”
I nod and step into the house.
“Hi, Mommy. We’re having a campout again.”
“That looks like fun.”
“You can sit here.” Ashton points to the couch, and I sit at the other end from him.
“You’re doing it wrong, Miss Lexie.” Reed stands up.
“What am I doing wrong?”
He tugs on my hand until I’m sitting next to Ashton. “We’re pretending that it’s the ice age like in the movie. Everyone needs a buddy, and you can be Dad’s.”
“Reed,” Ashton sighs.
“No, Dad. It’s the ice age, you don’t want Miss Lexie to be lost, do you?”
I look at Ashton, but he turns away. “Fine.”
“You two can share a blanket, like Sadie and me.” He covers us up and goes back to lie next to Sadie.
My hands are shaking, and I keep them under the blanket. I’m so close to Ashton that I can feel his body heat. It feels like an eternity until the movie ends, and Ashton can’t move fast enough to get away from me.
“All right, Sadie, it’s time to go.”
I quickly gather her stuff and hustle her out to the car. I don’t even make it all the way into the house this time before the tears come.
“Mommy, are you okay?”
I nod. “Let’s get some hot chocolate.” I try to sound cheerful, but it’s hard to do with tears rolling down my face. I quickly make the drink, and Sadie sits at the table. When I set the drink in front of her, she doesn’t touch it at all. “Sadie, do you not like it?”
“Mommy, why do you hate Mr. Ashton? Is it because he kissed you?”
“Wh…what?”
“Reed heard Miss Brooke talking and she said that you kissed Mr. Ashton but you hate him now.”
“I….I…” My mouth is open but no thoughts or words are leaving it. What do I say? What do I do? Why the hell isn’t there a book on this so I can have the answer?
“I’m going to bed, Mommy.”
Sadie slides off the chair and goes to her room. I still can’t catch my breath. The CIA has nothing on small children, that I do know.
Maybe I should call Tiff? No, wait, she isn’t talking to me. What about Brooke? No, that would just be an awkward conversation. I’ll deal with all this in morning after I have a bottle of wine.
~
My head hurts so badly. I’m rubbing my temples, hoping the pounding will stop soon. I wanted to talk to Sadie this morning, but I overslept and was rushing. I’ll talk to her after school.
Tiff walks into my office and slams the door. “We’ve got several events coming up, and we need to to get stuff in order.”
“Fine.” I groan and squint my eyes because the light is killing me.
“You look like shit.”
“Thanks.”
Tiff sits in the chair across from my desk. She starts rambling off events and parties that we need to handle, and I do my best to keep up. We hear the front door open, and someone stomping down the hall. My office door flies open, and on the other side is a pissed off Brooke. Rage is written all over her red face, matching her scrubs.
“What the fuck, Lexie?”
“Um, what?”
“I was called by the school because my son was in the bathroom, crying hysterically, and no one could calm him down. When I get there, my own son can’t even speak to me because he can’t stop crying. I had to drive to the hockey rink and get Ashton off the ice, something I’ve never done before, and do you want to know what happened?”
I shake my head. I’m concerned and hope that Reed is okay.
“He threw up all over Ashton because he still was crying so hard.”
“Oh my God, is he okay?”
“No!” she shouts at me. “He finally was calm enough to tell us that Sadie told him they couldn’t be friends anymore because of you.”
“What? I said nothing of the sort.”
“I don’t what the hell is going on, but what I do know is that Ashton and I have spent a lot of time making Reed’s life as easy as possible. He doesn’t have any friends besides Sadie because everyone just wants to be close to Ashton instead. Whatever happened between you and Ashton is your fault.”
“Amen,” Tiff chimes in. I almost forgot she’s sitting there.
“That’s not true,” I lie.
“Stop with the excuses, Lexie. Ashton is the greatest guy, but my problem right now is my heartbroken son.”
“Brooke, I didn’t say anything to Sadie. Last night, she told me that Reed heard you talking about Ashton and me.”
She sighs. “I’ve tried to be careful what I say, and Ashton too. But everyone can feel the tension, and look at what it’s done. Now, I need to go take care of Reed.” She spins on her heels and leaves.
“Well, you know how to fuck up stuff, don’t you?” Tiff sneers at me.
“Shut up. I didn’t want Sadie and Reed to stop being friends. Sadie is very happy with Reed.”
“Well, you have your wish. You don’t ever have to see Ashton again. Now, Sadie can be as miserable as you are. I bet Tony is so proud of you right now.” Tiff gets up and leaves the office.
I throw down my pen and bang my head on the desk. It doesn’t hurt because it’s already in pain. I want Sadie to be happy. She needs Reed in her life, and she needs that happiness that they have together.
Crap.
I grab my purse and drive over to the school. I tell the office that I need Sadie to leave early. I wait for her to come, and when she does, her face is sad. She looks like she’d been crying too.
Crap.
I take her hand, and we head to the car. My first stop is the fast-food drive-thru. I get a large order of chicken nuggets and a handful of packets of ketchup. While paying for the food, I text Brooke.
Me: Where are you?
Brooke: Ashton’s
Well, of course she is, because Reed needed his dad. I tell her that I’m on my way, and drive to his house. When I pull into the driveway, I help Sadie out of the car. I grab the bag of food and knock on the door. Brooke answers it, and her face isn’t as red as it was in my office.
“I want to see Reed.”
Brooke looks at me, and then Sadie, who is looking at the ground.
“Please, Brooke. Let me speak to Reed.”
“He’s in my bedroom.” Ashton walks up behind her, and his face is almost scary. He doesn’t even look this pissed off on the ice. “But, if you upset him–”
“I promise I won’t.” I pull Sadie with me and head to the bedroom.
Reed is lying in the middle of the bed. He looks so small in Ashton’s huge bed. His face is blotchy, and his hazel eyes are puffy and bloodshot.
“Hi, Reed.”
He looks up, and his bottom lip is quivering. My heart feels like it’s being stomped on. “Hi,” he squeaks out.
“I bought chicken nuggets. Can Sadie and I come in and eat them with you?” I hold up the bag, showing that I’m telling the truth. He shrugs. I set the bag down on the edge of the bed and lift Sadie up to sit next to Reed. I open the bag and lay out the chicken nuggets and the ketchup.
“Now, I want to know what happened today.” I hand them each a piece of food.
“Sadie doesn’t want to be my friend.” A tear rolls down his face.
“Why, Sadie?”
“Because you hate Mr. Ashton, and I don’t want you to cry anymore.” She sniffs.
I can feel my heart pounding. She must be hearing me cry at night. “Okay, first off, I don’t hate Mr. Ashton.”
“But, my mom said that you did, and my dad loves you.” Reed’s hazel eyes are wide.
I try to rein in my gasp. These kids rea
lly hear everything. “I was very upset with Mr. Ashton, but I never hated him. Your dad is so kind and sweet. I could never hate him.”
“Do you love him?” Sadie asks.
I swallow back my emotions. “I care a lot for him. Like I said, Mr. Ashton is a wonderful person. But, none of this is a reason for you two to stop being friends.”
“Why are crying all the time, Mommy?”
“Because,” I pause trying to figure out how to explain this. “Sometimes Mommy cries. It happens. You cry sometimes, right?”
“When I fall down or get hurt.”
“Well, Mommy cries for different reasons.” Because I’m a fool and I don’t know how to tell Ashton the truth. “But Reed is your best friend, and you two need to stay friends. No matter what is going on with the grownups.”
They both nod.
“Can you both promise me that you will always be friends?”
“Yes,” they say together. They both start to eat their nuggets, and I feel a little at ease.
“My dad doesn’t usually let me eat in his bed.” Reed takes another nugget.
“It’s okay this time.”
I whip my head to see Brooke and Ashton standing in the doorway. Brooke has a small smile on her face, but Ashton still looks mad at the world.
Crap.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Ashton
There is no worse feeling in the world than seeing Brooke frantic and knowing before she speaks a word, that something is wrong with our child. I’ve never seen Reed so upset, so heartbroken before. My kid was an absolute wreck all because Sadie didn’t want to be his friend anymore because of Lexie. I was furious.
I am furious.
All Lex had to do was stay instead of walking away. I don’t think if I had gone after her, to change her mind, it would have made much of a difference. Not this time. I want to hate her so much for indirectly making Reed cry like he did, but part of me blames myself. As soon as I found out that she was Sadie’s mom, maybe I should have left things alone so something like this wouldn’t have the chance to happen.
I don’t even want to be in my own house because she’s here. Turning away as Sadie and Reed mumble sorrys to each other over chicken nuggets, I need air, Lexie-free air. The nipping air outside doesn’t help as much, so I walk out to my truck and lean against the passenger door. I can’t get the sight or sound of Reed from earlier out of my head. That doesn’t even include how he puked all over me. Squeezing my eyes, I try to shake the thoughts away.
My eyes open at the sound of my door opening. Damn it, Lexie is walking towards me. Dealing with her right now isn’t even on my list of things to do. I don’t say a word as she stands across from me. I only stare at her.
“May we talk for a moment?”
“You can talk, sure.”
“Ashton, I’m sorry about what happened today. I never wanted the kids to be part of any of this. I really mean that.” The sincerity in her voice is overwhelming.
“I know, but I’m not the one who needs the apology.”
“I apologized to Reed and Brooke, but I thought you should hear it too. I don’t have a lot of regrets in my life,” she swallows hard and continues, “but I’m beginning to wonder about one of them.”
“Lex,” I sigh her name. “I don’t want to do this today. As long as Reed is happy, I honestly don’t care about anything else right now. I don’t want to deal with anything else.”
“Ashton, I know you don’t want to deal with this, but just listen,” she pleads. “When I met you, you were full of life and love. In the matter of two months, I’ve been able to turn you into this bitter person. I’ve caused my daughter to be as miserable as I am. Tiff won’t even speak to me, and all I can do is think about where I went wrong. I wasn’t always like this. I was fun and carefree. I just don’t know how to get there again without feeling guilty that I’m leaving my past behind.” She watches me for a moment. “I thought you should know that.”
I stare at her, mulling over her words. “You want to know where you went wrong?”
She nods.
“You walked away. You walked away before me or Tiffany or anyone else could help you through the guilt. That’s where you went wrong.” I push off the side of my truck and walk past her back into the house.
The first thing I hear is the carefree laughter of Reed and Sadie. I can’t help my smile when I see them on the couch, watching cartoons on TV with Brooke. They don’t notice me at first, but Brooke does. Her face is full of questions, but I just shake my head.
“Sadie, are you ready to go?” Lexie suddenly appears next to me.
“Can’t I stay longer, Mommy? Please?”
“Yeah, please,” Reed begins to beg her as well.
“I’ll take her home,” Brooke offers. “If you don’t mind her staying.”
The kids give Lexie their best hopeful expressions before she nods. Sadie hops up to hug and kiss her and then she’s gone. Once she’s back on the couch next to Reed, he turns to me.
“So, what are we doing?”
“What are you talking about?” I ask him.
“What are we going to do? Can we go get ice cream?”
“No,” Brooke and I answer.
“We aren’t going anywhere,” I add. “Cartoons and the toys in your room is as good as it gets today.”
Reed nods, smiling before turning back to Sadie. “C’mon, Sadie. I just remembered that Uncle Jax sent me a new toy. He even sent you something.” He makes his best gross face. “It’s pink. I’ll show you.”
They run full speed to his room, Brooke yelling after them about not running in the house. I sit on the couch, leaning back, and sinking into the cushions, wanting nothing more than to relax for ten seconds.
“Well?” Brooke questions.
“Well, what?” I know exactly what she wants to know, but that doesn’t mean I want to tell her.
“What happened outside?”
“What do you think happened?”
“Obviously not a reunion.”
Turning to look at her, I still don’t give her anything. “We don’t need to talk about this. We apparently aren’t as discreet as we think we are.”
She laughs. “Then text me.”
“You’re crazy. I don’t have that much time.”
Brooke glares at me, but leaves it alone. Not for long, unfortunately. “At least tell me if you think things between you two will get resolved.”
“I’m going to tell you what I told her.” She perks up. “I don’t want to deal with it today.”
She slaps my shoulder. “I thought you were going to tell me something better than that.”
I laugh. “I know.”
~
“I hear you and your lady friend broke up.”
I roll my eyes. “You need to stop talking to Brooke, Jax. And why are you calling her a ‘lady friend’?”
“Because I can. I’m hurt that you didn’t tell me this yourself.”
“Well, get over it.” I pause, a thought hitting me for the first time. “How often do you talk to Brooke?”
“Every time Reed calls me, pretty much. She fills me in, tells me stuff I don’t really want to hear half the time.” He laughs. “She just likes to gossip. That’s how I know everything about you. Are you going to this birthday party I keep hearing about?”
“Reed and I are about to go shopping for a birthday present.”
“That doesn’t answer my question,” he points out.
I sigh. “I don’t know yet. What are you planning for your and Avery’s anniversary? That’s coming up, right?”
Jax is quiet for a heartbeat too long. “I’m not sure yet.” Now, he sighs. “We’ve been having issues. I don’t really know what’s going on, but something isn’t right with us anymore.”
“Is that why she didn’t come up to the cabin?”
“I don’t know why she didn’t come. She said she couldn’t make it. Look, I don’t want to get into it, and you’re about
to go shopping.”
I pull into Brooke’s driveway, wondering if I should give this up as easily as he appears to want me to. “Yeah, I just got to Brooke’s, so I gotta go. If you change your mind about talking, call me.”
He doesn’t say anything, only hangs up. As Reed and I drive to the store, I start wondering what I’m going to do. The party is less than a week away now. I could go. There’s nothing in my schedule to stop me, though I may be a little late. The damn woman from that clothing line is insisting that I meet with her and on that day. She’s a convincing girl, I’ll give her that, because I have no idea how I agreed to it.
Reed seriously considers everything we pass, going back and forth with whether or not Sadie may like it. After an hour, he still hasn’t picked anything out. Right now, he has two different Hello Kitty products in his hands. He looks up at me seriously.
“Which one do you think she’ll love? Not like,” he clarifies. “She’s my best friend, remember? I want to give her something she’ll love. I kind of think this one.” He lifts up his left hand. “But she might love this one too.”
“Why don’t we get both? I’ll give her one and you can give her one.”
“Does this mean you’re coming? You told you Sadie you weren’t sure.”
I crouch down to be eye level with him. “I have a meeting before the party, but I should be able to make it. I might be late, though.”
He frowns. “You can’t be late to Sadie’s party, Dad.”
“I’m hoping I won’t be, but I’m letting you know, just in case I am. So,” I take the possible gifts from him. “Are these the perfect presents for Sadie?”
Reed stares at them, then at the toys on the shelves, and back to what I’m holding. “Yes,” he nods firmly.
“Then let’s check out. We’ll go get some grub before I have to take you home.”
“Yes! Grub. Let’s get some grub, Dad.”
So we do.
There’s a home game, then an away game, and another home game. If I can get through those and that meeting, then maybe I can go to Sadie’s party. My heart skips a beat in excitement and pain at seeing Lexie again. With the Reed-Sadie crisis over, I’m back to missing her, only twice as much as before. She said she regrets something, possibly the end of us.
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