Justify My Thug

by Wahida Clark

  “On my way,” I told her. I liked Mrs. Bankston because she would always tell me to be happy, enjoy life and be grateful. She would always pray with me and for me. I brushed my teeth and fingered my locks and then headed for the yard.

  It was hot outside and the tent was doing very little to guard us from the Arizona sun. There were only two other ladies seated outside in the second row of chairs on the large grassy lawn. I marched up to the first row and took a seat. I was eager to learn, eager to have my memory triggered.

  The young lady who I assumed was the instructor was a red headed, petite white girl. As soon as I sat down she turned around and said hello. She glanced at her watch and turned to who I guess was her partner, another petite white girl with blonde hair, who kept looking at me. I smiled at her, trying not to be rude but she kept staring at me. She finally said, “Kyra? Kyra is that you?”

  I turned around and looked at the other two ladies in back of me. They kept talking to each other so I assumed she must have been talking to me.

  The blonde haired chick came over to me. The scent of her perfume seemed faintly familiar. “Kyra Blackshear. It’s me Keli. Keli Lagowitz? We were lab partners for two semesters. What have you done to your hair? I love it! What are you doing here in Arizona? I can’t get away from you! You transferred out here, too? Why would you leave California? Well, you’re probably wondering why I left.” She held up her ring finger. “I married Ian. Remember him? I married my doctor.” She and her friend giggled. “Oh my gosh. Listen at me rambling. Same ole Keli, right?”

  “Yes, you are rambling.” Her friend said. “You didn’t even introduce me to your friend. I’m Dana.” She held out her hand for me to shake it. “Any friend of Kels is a friend of mine.”

  “Hello.” I didn’t know what else to say. She called me Kyra. Nurse Wright called me Brown. My heart began to race.

  “Enough about me. Are you volunteering here as well?”

  Who was this white girl? She said that she knew me. Lab partner? Kyra? Is that really who I am?

  Mrs. Bankston made her way over to where we were and this chick started rambling again. “Jill, why didn’t you tell me you had UCLA Alumni here? Me and Kyra were lab partners and we aced lab both times.”

  Mrs. Bankston pulled or more like yanked the rambling white girl away from me.

  “No wait. I want to ask her something. She knows me.” I said as I rose from my seat to grab her other arm.

  “Don’t worry Brown, give me a few minutes and I will bring her right back.” Mrs. Bankston said in her usually calm voice. I hesitated at first but then released her arm and sat back down. I watched as they walked away carrying with them all the new revelations that this stranger had just revealed to me.

  They went to the back and I watched as they kept looking at me, but I had no clue as to what Mrs. Bankston was so animated about. I reluctantly turned around in my seat.

  JAZ

  I called my daughter to say good night. After I hung up the phone I grabbed a jacket and decided to go the nearest Waffle House. This would be my fourth night sleeping in a college dorm. It wasn’t bad and it wouldn’t be my first. During finals I would pull strings to get a room if one was available because it seemed like I studied better on campus. And since I had midterms coming up it was all good. If I went to a hotel I wouldn’t do anything but chill as if I was on vacation. I was just thankful that a room was available. Faheem actually did me a favor. At home the priority was be a mommy, wifey and then get the studying done. So thanks nigga. I’ll deal with you after my mid-terms.

  ONI

  The banging at my front door woke me up. I laid there not sure if I was dreaming or not. Then they started ringing the bell. At first I said it had to be one of my brothers. Them niggas didn’t know that I knew it but they all had keys. Then I thought about Jaz. The thought of that bitch got me to jump out of my warm bed. I grabbed my robe and stormed down the stairs. I turned the front porch light on and cracked the door.

  Boom!

  It happened so fast. The door swung open and I went flying back onto the kitchen table and then hit the floor. I swear I was seeing stars and then everything faded to black.

  When I awoke I could hear Faheem’s voice screaming, “Mommy, Mommy, help me!” That impact knocked the wind out of me but I mustered up the strength to crawl over to the door and try to block the men from taking my baby.

  “Why are you doing this? Please, don’t take my son!” I cried while grabbing a hold of the leg of the guy who was carrying my son on his shoulder as he made his way to the front door, dragging me along with him as I held on for dear life.

  “Get this bitch off of me, man! What the fuck are you doing? You supposed to have my back. You see this bitch don’t you?” he yelled at his accomplice.

  “Why are you doing this?” I asked them.

  “Bitch, you know why. You the same bitch who own the hotel right? Well, you know what we want. We want what’s ours. We work for Steele.”

  “Now let go, bitch,” the one holding the gun yelled at me as he tried to pry my hands off of his partner’s leg. Once he saw that that wasn’t working he pulled my hair and slapped the shit out of me but I still didn’t let go. They were going to have to kill my ass before I let anything happen to my baby.

  “Man shoot the bitch and stop fucking around.”

  “Naw, we can’t kill her, nigga.” That’s when he pulled his gun out and hit me in my face. Once again, everything faded to black.

  I lay there feeling my face. What just happened? Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Faheem. My baby. I turned over onto my stomach, forced myself up on my knees and started crawling. “Faheem.” I thought I was screaming his name, but I couldn’t hear anything. “Faheem.” I crawled up the stairs and when I made it to the top I stood up and rushed to my son’s bedroom.

  He was gone.

  FAHEEM

  “Who the fuck is this?” I sat up in my king-sized bed and turned on the lamp. It had to be Jaz. Reaching for the phone on my end table, I looked at the caller ID. Oni. It was 3:38. “What’s up?” I asked her. She was screaming and crying and shit. “Oni, what is the matter? Is Faheem alright?” Panicking, I flung off my silk sheet and jumped to my feet. What was this bitch up to? I began pacing in front of my dresser, my heart rate increasing. “Oni. Stop crying and talk to me. What’s the matter and is Faheem alright?”

  “They … took him.”

  “What did you just say?”

  “They got … him.”

  FIFTEEN

  TASHA

  I was obviously “dick high” when I told this nigga, yes I would marry him. And because of that now I’m sitting here watching him put this big ass rock on my finger.

  “Damn this bitch is beautiful,” Kyron said and he brought my hand to his lips and kissed the ring.

  I had to admit, it was all of that, ten carats of some of the most beautiful stones I’ve seen in a long time. All VVS of course. If I wasn’t already married to such a boss ass nigga I would be in awe. But I’ve seen bigger. But I wouldn’t burst dude’s bubble. After all, he is a constant reminder that my A-game is still tight, being as though he is ready and willing to wife a bitch after such a short period of time. But I could no longer revel in the moment. I had to let this nigga down easy. I damn sure couldn’t marry him. All I could think about was Trae and the fact that I am still married and I must be out of my damned mind to think that he is going to just sit back and allow this bullshit to continue.

  Kyron picked up on my mood. “What’s the matter? You don’t like it? I can take it back and get something else.”

  “Of course I like it. But you and I both know, it will never happen.”

  “Let me worry about that.” He kissed me. Kissed me like I belonged to him. “Shorty, chill out. I told you I got this.”

  “You don’t know him like I do, Kyron. Therefore I can’t help it. He keeps nagging at the back of my mind. It feels like he is just somewhere plotting and waiting. And like
every corner I turn, that nigga is going to be standing there. Plus there is some other shit going on Kyron, and I don’t want you to get mixed up in it. The Chinese mafia is watching me.”

  “I see that I need to get you out of this house. You startin’ to hallucinate and shit.”

  I knew that he was not going to take me seriously. “I am not. It’s reality. We are not going to be able to do this Kyron,” I slowly began sliding the ring off my finger.

  “Yes you are.” He took my hand and slid the ring back on my finger. “Look, I told you I’m going to take care of it. Let’s just get out and get some fresh air and we’ll talk about it when we get back.”

  I thought about it. “Well, you have been holding me as a sex slave. That is illegal you know. When can I get my freedom papers, massah?”

  He looked me dead in my eyes and said, “Never. The pussy is too good. Your shit is addictive, Shorty.” He stood up and then pulled me up off the sofa. His hands slid down to my ass and he started caressing my cheeks and gently kissing my neck.

  I closed my eyes. “Kyron, I want you to listen to me.” He pulled me closer and I could feel him, he was already hard. “Are you listening to me?”

  “I’m listening, Shorty.”

  His dick pressed up against my pussy was feeling real nice. “Let’s just enjoy these stolen moments for as long as we can. We can’t make this permanent. Too many things are working against us. I did something in California and … it got my cousin killed. They are probably going to come after me next. I’m not hallucinating, Kyron. This is real. And if the Chinese mob doesn’t kill us, Trae will for sure.”

  “Are you finished?”

  I nodded.

  We started kissing. He took my hand and placed it on his dick. Shit, he didn’t need to do that. I already felt how hard it was. He went to unzip my jeans but I grabbed his hand.

  “Just let me get up in it for a few minutes.”

  I giggled, “I don’t think so. That few minutes will turn into an hour and I’m hungry, Kyron.”

  “Five minutes then.” He unzipped my jeans and began to take them off. I gave a weak protest but the nigga already had one of my legs out of my jeans. His sweat pants were down over his ass. He laid me down onto the sofa, spread my thighs and moved my thong to the side. He slid in and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I still had on one shoe but I didn’t care, the dick was feeling that good. When I felt my juices trickle down my thighs, I knew it was over for Mr. I-only-need-five-minutes. He grunted and started fucking me hard and fast and I think it was about three minutes when he started cumming. I allowed him to pull himself together before I placed both hands on top his head and led him down to Miss Kitty.

  “I thought you was ready to go eat?” he teased me as he slid a couple of fingers inside me and started licking my clit. When he found my g-spot, he ate the pussy and tickled my spot just right. I was no better than him. In less than three minutes, I was cumming and it felt like I would never stop. I love me a nigga who eats and swallows everything on the menu.

  KYRON

  I had to figure out how I was going to keep Shorty here with me for as long as possible. After I fucked her right quick and ate her pussy like a pro, she lay on the sofa spent. I left her there to go to the bathroom and to touch base with Kendrick. I hadn’t heard from the nigga in a few days so I called him.

  “What’s up, nigga?”

  “Waitin’ to hear from you. Anything up? If not, I’ma head out for a couple of days,” he told me.

  “Nah, ain’t nothin’ poppin’, we good? Why you bouncin’? You duckin’ Trae out?” I couldn’t help but to laugh at the thought.

  “Man, that nigga straight buggin’. And I don’t know how I got in the middle of y’alls bullshit.” Now he was laughing.

  “So what you sayin’? You gotta stop fuckin’ with me now?”

  “That’s exactly what I’m saying. But for real, yo, watch your back and I’ll hit you up in a couple of days. One.”

  “No doubt.” I hung up.

  TASHA

  I finally pulled myself together, went into the bathroom to freshen up with that “I’ve just been fucked” glide in my stride. Kyron disappeared somewhere around the apartment, most likely to make some calls. Since he had been stuck in the house pampering and spoiling me for the past few days, whatever it is that he does he had been handling over the phone. Now he was posted at the front door waiting on me.

  “Shorty, you decided what you want to eat?” He asked me.

  I wasn’t a meat eater but I had been craving for a big, fat juicy burger. “I want a burger!”

  Kyron gave me a quizzical look. “A burger? We ain’t got to go out for that, I can hook you up a burger.”

  I punched him in the arm. “No, I want a real burger. If I’m going to break my no meat diet, it has to be worth my while. Who knows? Maybe I’ll eat a burger and then wrap my lips around a big, fat, juicy steak.”

  “Damn, Shorty. You are hungry.”

  “Yes, I am. Now let’s go.” I was anxious to get outside for the first time in four days. I was glad that the swelling of my ankle had gone down and I could walk normally. I wasn’t ready for stilettos yet, and wouldn’t be for at least a week or two.

  On the elevator Kyron stood behind me and pulled me close. He whispered into my ear, “What did you want to wrap your lips around?”

  Damn. I should have known that he wasn’t going to let that fly. I saw where this was going and was wondering when he was going to bring it up. “A big … fat … juicy … steak!” I teased him.

  “I got something big … fat … and juicy that you can wrap your lips around and I promise it’ll beat a steak anytime.”

  “Ummmm,” I moaned. “I know you do.” I could tell by the way he hesitated that he wasn’t expecting that response.

  “So what a nigga gotta do to test out your head game?”

  “I have to be sure that the nigga is the one.”

  “How do I know if I’m the one?”

  “Oh, you’ll know it.”

  “So, it’s like that?”

  I didn’t respond and I knew he was sharp enough to let it go. The only dick I was sucking was my husband’s! It felt like when it came to sucking dick, Trae had me brainwashed or some shit like that. We stepped off of the elevator hand in hand. I was on my way to suck on a juicy burger.

  TRAE

  “Uncle Trae, whose airplane is this?” Aisha asked, animated as she sat strapped in the G5’s leather bucket seats.

  “It’s my plane, baby,” I replied and looked into her smiling face. “Why? You like my plane?”

  “Yeah! It’s different from all the other ones. It’s smaller but it’s fly. Where are all the people? Don’t they get to ride on your plane, too?”

  “No passengers, baby. Only people that I want to ride. People like you.”

  Aisha giggled at that remark. “Are we going to Florida to get the Twins and Caliph?”

  “Not today. But soon. Right now I’m taking you to California. Aunt Marva will be glad to see you. Then we’ll go and get Auntie Tasha, okay?”

  “Okay. But, Uncle Trae, why didn’t my daddy come out to the bus to get me? Why did he let me leave without saying goodbye?”

  It was at that moment that my heart began to ache for Aisha. She would have to live the rest of her life without her mother and father and never really know what happened to them. There was no way in the world I could ever let her find out the truth about her father’s death.

  “Your daddy told me to tell you goodbye and that he loves you. He said that he had to go somewhere important but he’d see you later.”

  I hated having to lie to my niece. But what other options did I have?

  After killing Marvin, I cleared the house and got rid of any traces of my being there. Then I puffed a few jays and waited for Aisha’s bus. While I was waiting I got thinking how it still didn’t sit right with me that Kaylin claimed to have no idea where Kyron lay his head. It nagged at me, but I reall
y couldn’t blame him. After all, Kyron was his brother. As soon as I got Aisha settled, I was flying back to New York to get my wife. It was time for this whole game to end. It was overdue.

  TASHA

  We ended up at Dallas BBQ’s in the Bronx. I ordered a double crispy onion cheeseburger and a spinach steak salad. I was going all out. Kyron ordered like he was pregnant too. He ordered Bar-b-que beef ribs, crispy shrimp and a chicken Caesar salad. We had virgin pinã coladas in three different flavors. All we could do was look and laugh when our waitress sat all of our dishes down before us. We both ate and drank until we could eat and drink no more.

  I excused myself to go to the restroom. My bladder felt as if it was about to burst. I zoomed into the first stall I saw open and went for it. Only to see after it was too late that I had no tissue.

  “Shit!” I mumbled. “Can someone pass me some tissue please?” I heard bitches out there talking and laughing but no one passed me any tissue. “Helllooo, can someone please pass me some tissue?”

  “Girl, bitches can be so petty,” I heard somebody say. “Here you go.” She passed me some tissue under the stall.

  “Thank you. I appreciate it. I can’t believe them bitches wouldn’t pass me any fuckin’ tissue. Like they had to put a quarter in the machine and fuckin’ pay for it.”

  “I know. Bitches are a trip and there’s still one out here that act like she got a stick up her ass.”

  “The ho better be gone when I come out of this stall,” I threatened and I meant that shit.

  “You want me to hold her?” I heard my new friend say. She didn’t sound like a New Yorker. That explained why I got some help from her. Them New York bitches are just plain rude.

  Then I heard another voice say, loud and clear. “I know y’all bitches ain’t talkin’ about me. I don’t work in this restroom,” the woman stated in true New Yorker form, and I heard her leave out of the bathroom.

  “Only in New York,” my new friend laughed.

  Then I took one step out of the stall and stopped. That fuckin’ meat I just ate had me. “Oh shit.” I had to turn around and hurl into the toilet bowl. “Oh God. Oh my God,” I groaned.