Justify My Thug

by Wahida Clark

  She looked up. “Kendrick.” She said dryly.

  “Mari.”

  “I didn’t want to leave him here by himself, even though he wanted me too. I wasn’t going to leave until you got here. Tell him to call me when he’s ready to come home.” She stood up, looked at me dirty, grabbed her purse and said to Kendrick, “You too huh?” She had a smirk on her face, shook her head and walked out.

  “She gone man?” Kyron asked, startling both of us. His head was all bandaged up and his arm was in a brace.

  “Nigga, yeah she gone. Why you playin’? I thought your ass was in a coma,” Kendrick spat but was sounding relieved.

  “I had to act like I was in one just to keep her from grillin’ me. Sit me up. I’m tired of laying here on my back. I need to get the fuck outta here.”

  “What the fuck happened, yo? Don’t tell me Trae did this,” Kendrick said.

  “What’s up Trina?” He asked me as I raised the head of the bed. I guess he could see the desperation on my face.

  “Where was my sister when all of this happened? Is she alright?” As bad as Kyron looked, I could imagine what my sister would look like. I don’t know about the two of them, but I saw Trae’s hand in all of this. I know they didn’t think that he was going to take that shit laying down. If I wasn’t before, I knew now that I was on his shit list.

  “She should be. Trae sent his henchmen to take me out and to take her home. I haven’t talked to her since. Yeah. Them muthafuckas would have killed me if this group of white ladies hadn’t started screaming and shit. They was wildin’ out,” Kyron said. By the look in his eyes it was as if he was replaying the incident in his mind.

  “Well nigga, I guess you can say, today is your lucky day,” Kendrick told him.

  “Sheeit, everyday is my lucky day.”

  “Whatever, nigga,” Kendrick said.

  “I still won’t be able to relax until I’m sure that she’s alright. Call her for me,” Kyron told me.

  “I just did. She didn’t answer.”

  “Use this hospital phone right here. She don’t know that number.”

  I called her cell phone again and she didn’t answer. So I dialed her house phone and had the call on speaker.

  TASHA

  Trae had pulled out the waffle iron and was cooking a breakfast of homemade waffles, turkey sausage and cheese eggs. He was fixing my plate when the phone rang. New York Presbyterian on the caller ID threw me off guard, so I answered it.

  “Hello.”

  “Tasha, it’s me. Are you alright? Why didn’t you call me, girl? What happened?” It was my sister.

  “Trina, I’m okay.” Trae turned and gave me this look. I hit the speakerphone button because I didn’t want any drama. Everything was going to be out in the open.

  “Kyron is in the hospital all bandaged up. Me and Kendrick are up here now. He wants to talk to you.”

  “Trina, stay out of the middle of this shit. Whatever was going on between me and Kyron is over. I won’t be talking to him anymore. I—”

  Trae cut me off. “Is that nigga listening? Let me get in his ear,” Trae spat.

  “Shorty, you alright? Where are you?” Kyron was acting as if Trae didn’t exist.

  “She’s home nigga, where she belongs. I guess that ass whipping didn’t send the right message. Tasha, tell this nigga who you want to be with.”

  “Kyron, it’s over. I’m staying with my husband.”

  “Naw baby, that ain’t clear enough. Tell this nigga that he was just a revenge fuck and that you were just having some fun and using his ass, trickin’ him out for his money.”

  “Kyron, you were just a revenge fuck which I told you from day one.”

  “Kyron, you there nigga?” Trae was fucking with him in the background. “You sound like you don’t believe her. You want to know how to tell that it wasn’t serious?”

  “The only thing I can tell is your wife been having fun slidin’ on my dick like she more single than married,” Kyron spat.

  “Yeah, nigga but did she suck it?”

  “This some bullshit,” I heard Kendrick say.

  Kyron got quiet.

  “If you could tell me right now that she sucked your dick, then you could have her. I would just walk away. But she didn’t did she?” When Kyron didn’t respond, he said, “I’ma take your silence as a no. Nigga, I know my wife. The only dick knocking them tonsils back is my big black one. So stop calling my wife. Leave us the fuck alone and be glad that out of respect for your moms and brother, I let your ass live. Oh, and the baby that you was all excited about, after I cook my wife breakfast, feed her and get my dick sucked, I’ma kill that muthafucka. So go plant one in ya own bitch.”

  I took a deep breath. Now this was the hard part because Kyron wanted this baby so bad. “Kyron, I am getting an abortion this morning.”

  “Hang up the phone, Tasha.”

  TWENTY

  TASHA

  After we hung up with Kyron, Trae did exactly as he promised. Even though shit was awkward, he cooked me a wonderful breakfast, fed me and then asked me to give him some head, lips swollen and all … and I did. It reminded me of old times and it felt good.

  I then called my doctor and made an appointment for that afternoon. No sooner than I got off the line with her I caught another sharp pain. And then another one. I was doubled over. Trae found me balled up next to the dresser and called an ambulance. Sure enough I had a miscarriage. True to his word, Trae killed that baby.

  FAHEEM

  I dropped Jaz and Kaeerah off at the airport and then scooped up Wali. I had to get the skinny on this Steele nigga before my peeps from up North showed up. Wali was instrumental in setting up the meeting and I couldn’t wait to be done with his good for nothing ass. I swear Oni and her brothers all are a bunch of simple muthafuckas. They don’t know their asses from their elbows. I still can’t figure out how they were getting away with all of the shit they were into.

  They definitely wouldn’t have been getting over like this on no up north niggas. The only way they could be of any use to the situation was to give me 411 on this Steele cat and put the money up. I took care of the keys and I’m making them muthafuckas pay for it. I was also able to get all of the firepower that we needed. I couldn’t trust them. If I was going to go down it would be from my doing. I had to make a call to up North, but I was gettin’ ready to get this shit poppin’. The only thing left for me to do was wait.

  JAZ

  Faheem dropped us off at the airport. When I heard that his family from up North was coming, I began to pray. The only time he called on them was when it was time for war. Before the flight I sent Tasha a text telling her that me and Kaeerah was on our way and she sent me a text back saying that she was in the hospital. She had a miscarriage and she didn’t know how long they were going to keep her. I then sent Angel a text and she said that she was on her way as well and that she had some info on Kyra. I was dying to hear about it.

  KYRA

  I was on pins and needles. I was now standing in front of the house that was supposed to be mine. It had a For Sale sign sticking up out of the lawn, listing the real estate contact. I wrote down the number and stood there.

  “Excuse me lady. Do you want me to take you somewhere else?” The cabbie asked me.

  “Yes. Give me a minute.” I walked around to the backyard in hopes of remembering something. I couldn’t. Nothing looked familiar.

  “Are you ready?” The impatient driver asked me. I guess he saw that I was looking at the neighbor’s house.

  “I’m ready.”

  We headed for the address that was listed as my contact in case of emergency, Tasha Macklin. I said a quick prayer, asking that if her house was for sale, that I would have the strength to handle it. Because if it was, I’d be shit out of luck and the only thing left to do would be to call Nurse Wright. She didn’t want me to come out here by myself but I insisted. I felt that I had to start somewhere. If I was going to reclaim my life, I had to
do it on my own. I was hoping that I had the right address because it was taking forever for us to get there.

  “Excuse me,” I said to the cabbie. “Are you going the right way?”

  “Yes ma’am, I am. According to the GPS system we are one and a half miles away.”

  I sat back in the seat. I rubbed my stomach, trying to slow down the butterflies, but it wasn’t working. I peeked up at his GPS and saw that we were close. We made a left turn and the houses were gorgeous.

  “O.J. used to live in this neighborhood.”

  I guess the cabbie called himself a guide, giving me a tour at the last minute. But I didn’t care about no O.J. I had my fingers crossed hoping that a For Sale sign was no where to be found.

  The cab slowed down. Thank God there was no For Sale sign posted. Toys were tossed around on the freshly manicured lawn but it was quiet.

  “Thank you.” I told the cabbie and paid him his fare.

  “Do you want me to wait?”

  “No. I think I’ll be alright here.”

  “Well just in case, here’s my card if you need me to come back.”

  I took it from him, got my stuff and got out. I was sick of riding. That uncomfortable plane ride. The long cab drive. I was hungry and was ready to relax. I waited until the cabbie pulled off and was out of sight before I trudged up the walkway, getting more excited with each step I took. I reached the front door and sat my bags down. I rang the doorbell. I rang it again and again and again. No one answered.

  FAHEEM

  We had just pulled up to an abandoned club not too far from Chandler Road. I immediately went into war mode. I looked over at my cousins G and Snell and said, “Our main objective is my son’s safety. I don’t want no cowboy shit when we get in there.”

  “C’mon, nigga. You know we got you Fah. That’s why you got us down here,” my cousin G said. “Once little man is safe if them niggas flinch we killing everything moving.”

  I checked my gun, popped the locks and we rolled out. Oni’s punk ass brother was in the Lexus behind us. The only reason I let dude roll with us was because they wouldn’t meet with us unless at least one of them muthafuckas who stole from them was present. I gave him the signal, he deaded his engine, got out and met me at the trunk of my ride. I took the dope out, checked it over, zipped it up in the duffels and slammed the trunk shut. I had one bag and gave Snell the other one. We headed to the back door, looking around the deserted street for witnesses in case shit got ugly.

  There was two niggas standing guard. They gritted at us, let us in and followed us. The slim nigga led the way while the other, who looked like a linebacker, took up the rear. My adrenaline was charged up. I wanted to just start busting niggas right then and there. But I knew I had to be cool until I got my little man out of harm’s way.

  When we got to the back this fag ass nigga Steele was sitting in a high-back leather chair like he was a fucking don or some shit. The image of him toking a cigar vexed me as much as the smoke that clouded the room. I wanted to hawk and spit on this skinny, dread-headed muthafucka.

  “Aiight, we here. I got your shit, now where is my son?”

  “Who the fuck is you?” Steele spit, mean mugging me as if I gave a fuck.

  “Usually I’m a niggas worst fucking nightmare but today I come in peace. I just want what belongs to me and in exchange I’m giving you what belongs to you,” I said as I patted the duffle bag I was holding and nodded to the one Snell had.

  “Let me see what y’all working with.”

  “Let me see my son.” Fuck the bullshit.

  The nigga took a minute to size up the situation, then he nodded at his boy. There was a door behind him and when he opened it a chick came out with my son, who was blindfolded and had his hands taped together. It took everything within my power to not lose control.

  “Aiight, you see him, now let me see my shit.”

  My nostrils flared up. I took a deep breath then unzipped the bag so that he could see the dope. Snell did the same thing.

  “Pass it over here.”

  “Nah, nigga same time.” Who the fuck this nigga think I am? I ain’t new to this shit. And just as we were getting ready to make the exchange I hear Wali’s punk ass yell out.

  “Y’all niggas foul as hell. Who the fuck steals little kids?”

  Steele rose to his feet yelling, “Muthafucka you and that bitch violated my shit. I was happy never meeting you muthafuckas. You know how much money y’all cost me? Sheeit you lucky I let all of y’all live, nigga.”

  “Fuck you nigga!” Wali spat back. Now the whole room was beyond tensed up. My cousin G grabbed Wali in an attempt to try and calm him down.

  But when I heard my son crying, “Daddy! Daddy!” I lost it.

  “Hold the fuck up. Wali shut the fuck up!” I yelled at the top of my voice. I must have made the muthafuckin’ walls shake because niggas got real calm, real quick.

  “Now look, I ain’t got no beef with you man. I ain’t got shit to do with what they took from you. If you want to kill they ass when it’s over you got my blessing. Shit I’ll probably help you. But the only thing I’m concerned with is my son. If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t give a fuck what happened to them muthafuckas.”

  Steele stood there taking in what I was saying.

  “Yeah, aiight. Pass me the bag. And y’all release his son.”

  They took the blindfold off and pushed him towards me. I then went to pass the bag across the table. Once I got Lil’ Faheem in my arms, Wali passed the bag of money. But when he reached in his pocket all hell broke loose. All I heard was, “The nigga pulling a gun!” That’s when bullets started flying. I felt one hit me in my shoulder and I flew back but not before grabbing my gat and letting off a few shots. Once I hit the ground I covered my little man with my body and I could see niggas falling all around us.

  When the smoke cleared I was hit and I rolled off of Faheem over onto my back. The pain in my shoulder wouldn’t let me move. I stared up at the ceiling for a minute. “You alright, lil’ man?” I felt for his hand as I looked around again to see who was standing and who wasn’t. Wali’s ass was down which was cool with me because I was putting that nigga in a box myself for opening his mouth.

  “Fah, you aiight nigga?” I heard Snell ask and he got up and came over to where I was.

  “Did we dead all of them muthafuckas?”

  “Steele and that pussy who was standing behind the chair got away with the bags.”

  “Damn! We gotta get out of here. I’m hit in my shoulder. Help me up so I can get little man in the car.” When I looked at my son my worst fear had surfaced. He was bleeding from a hole in his head and his body was limp. “Faheem. Faheem. Get up. Daddy’s here and he’s not going to let anyone else take you away from him.” I started calling him and shaking his arm. I tilted his head back and tried to give him mouth to mouth but it was too late.

  “He gone, Fah. We got to get the fuck outta here.” G said and put his hand on my shoulder.

  “Get the fuck off me!” Tears came to my eyes as I tried one more time to give him life. But there was none there. I grabbed him in my arms and just held him tight.

  “Fah this place is going to be crawling in a minute. He gone, Fah. We got to get the fuck outta here. Let me take him.” My cousin tried to convince me once again.

  But I was fucked up. I just wanted to feel the last warmth left in his body. Vomit threatened to spill out of me. I knew right then and there I would never be the same. It’s over for Oni and her entire damn family. The only thing I could think about was how the streets was a muthafucka. Just as a nigga hung up his gats they go and touch my seed. I am vowing to Justify My Thug in blood.

  RICK

  I didn’t realize how much I missed LA. I sucked in as much of the LA air that I could. Being here had me feeling rejuvenated. I used to run this city. I called Nina and told her that I wished I would have brought her with me and that we gotta talk about moving out here.

  My ex-wife wa
sn’t home, and being a detective, I know how much people are creatures of habit. She was the definition of habit. The bitch kept a tight and rigid schedule. And sure enough, I went to her house and she didn’t answer the door. I went around back for the spare key and it was in the same spot, down in the flower pot.

  I went inside and did a walkthrough. Surprisingly, I didn’t get nostalgic. Most likely because she made sure it never felt like home to me in the first damn place. Everything that I knew of was gone. Everything was new. It looked like she had stripped the damn place. Stripped it of me.

  When I went to her bedroom, I went straight to the closet to see what kind of man she had stuck her claws into. Whoever he was, I felt sorry for the muthafucka. But to my surprise the closet was full of nothing but women’s clothes. I looked down at the shoes and it was the same scenario, all women’s stuff.

  I walked over to the dresser and she still had the picture of me and her at her sister’s wedding. The rest of the pictures were of her and a dark-skinned sister with a mole on her chin. In some of the pictures they were hugged up, in others they were out to dinner, or in the backyard … my wife had turned to dyking. Ain’t that some shit!

  I left her bedroom and went downstairs to pour a drink. Hell, I ended up having two. I thought about how when I passed Trae’s house I was scared to stop. Me. Muthafuckin’ King Rick was scared of something. Why? I didn’t know. Well I knew but I didn’t want to accept it. It’s not like I did them dirty and left on bad terms. The truth was I wasn’t sure how he would treat me since I was responsible for Kyra’s death … in a way. Hell, Tasha wouldn’t even talk to me and I know she knew it was me who was calling her. Fuck it! I’m stopping by there. Hopefully they will hear me out, if not at least I can say that I tried. But either way, it felt so good to be back in LA, the City of Angels. I got in my rental, looked at where I used to live and smiled.

  “Rick? Is that you?” Mrs. Singer, my old neighbor startled me.