"You love those girls, don't you?" Kasie stopped everything and turned to look at her.
Annie's face broke into a smile. "Does it show?"
"Oh yeah. It shows. And they love you. They can't quit talking about you. Even my kids love you. D.J. thinks you are the best thing that's ever happened to Katie. But how do you feel about Tanka?" Kasie asked.
"Well, I guess you could say he's finally accepted that I do a good job and quit fighting that."
"No…I mean how do you feel about him?"
Annie met her gaze. "I like him. I really do. But…"
"But what?" Kasie encouraged.
"I've always made it my business not to get involved with the people I work for. Most of them have been married and that sort of makes it easier on me."
"And Tanka?"
"He makes it easy to stay away from. I know he is still in love with Gina…" She tried to smile.
"But if he wasn't, how would you feel?"
Annie blushed.
"But he is…" she said softly.
"He is what?" Chantel walked into the kitchen in time to hear the last bit of conversation.
"D.J. is growing up…" Kasie added looking at Annie to not give their conversation away.
"Yes, I've noticed. Why the last time I was here he was just starting school," Chantel said moving between the two of them. "Honestly, you never invite me to come up. Of course if I had a husband as gorgeous as Chayton, I wouldn't either."
Annie was almost happy that Chantel came in when she did. The subject matter was just too personal and she didn't know how to react to it. She knew exactly in her own heart how she felt about everything and everyone, but admitting it aloud was something she was not ready to do. Opinions were something she needed to keep to herself. She hadn't been here long enough to act like part of the family. She had to keep her place, she was the nanny, and that's all she was.
That night the girls all went to sleep on the ride home so Tanka and Annie had to put them to bed. Tanka took them upstairs when they went in and Annie went to check the laundry.
When he came down, he looked at her strangely.
"You and Kasie are getting pretty close, aren't you?" he asked.
Annie nodded. "It's hard not to. She's been so much help since I came here. I'll admit to you, when I first came, I wasn't sure I could make it here. You live a lot differently than most of the folks I've worked for. Your food is so different. This house…is so beautiful; the girls are so well behaved. The job itself isn't hard at all, but the way you live is a little different than what I am used to."
"I'm glad you like Kasie. I love her…as a sister-in-law and as a person. And…I guess you are right about the food and time schedules and things like that being different. I never thought of it as different from anyone else, but I guess it is."
"When I saw what was in your freezer…well, for the first time since I had taken this kind of work, I wasn't sure I'd be good enough."
"You are plenty good enough, Annie. I think you've managed very well, considering. With everything but that stupid car."
"Oh yes, the car. I really shouldn't be driving it at all I suppose, but the children have to catch the bus."
"Yes, I can take you to the store anytime you need. So if the bus stop is the only worry, we should manage pretty well."
"I hope so." She lifted a brow.
A long silence stretched and finally Annie glanced at him.
"I like Chantel too. She must lead a pretty colorful life," Annie added, not wanting to leave her out of the conversation.
"She's a little too forward, if you ask me, but she's a beautiful woman, I'll give her that," he said.
"Is she an actress?" Annie asked.
"Not that I know of. She works for an advertising agency, from what Kasie said. Why?"
"I don't know. She's kin to Kasie on her mother's side and I thought maybe they worked together or something. She's certainly got the figure for it," Annie concluded, getting ready to climb the stairs to the loft.
"You don't have to run off, Annie. I really don't bite." He smiled at her; there was a relaxed look about him tonight that made Annie take note. She was glad in most ways they could talk and be around each other, but it lent a caution.
Annie tried to relax, tried to let the tension inside her go away, but around Tanka she couldn't. Balancing distance with her getting along with him was difficult. It probably wouldn't have been, if she hadn't really come to like him.
Kasie had brought up her feelings about him tonight and now she felt raw and exposed. She wanted to climb those stairs and forget about handsome men like Tanka. She was sure despite his casual reference that he was interested at least a little in Chantel. And even though she encouraged it, there was something in Annie's heart that pulled away from that idea.
"I'm not running away, I just figured you were tired," she said, not looking directly at him. "I mean, you just got off of work and we went over there. I'm sure you're anxious to go to bed."
"Not as anxious as you are, and I wonder why." His voice took on a husky note.
"I guess I'm not much of a social butterfly." She tried to chuckle, but it came out strangled.
"We'll have to change that, Annie…" he said and patted the seat next to him on the couch. "Come on, sit with me and let's talk. One of the things I miss most is the long talks into the night I used to have with Gina. I want to get to know you better, Annie. You take care of everything here, and about the only thing I worry about is you and that car…"
She nodded and sat on the edge of the couch.
"I am so sorry…"
She began, but he reached to silence her lips with his finger. "I'm not condemning you. I'm sincerely worried about the weather and that darn car and how safe you will be in it. The weather won't be getting better for some time."
"I know…"
She eased herself back so her head rested on the couch too. She was more tired than she realized.
His arm was on the back of the couch and almost touched her, and she tried her best to relax, but it was a struggle. Tanka Amory was a force to be dealt with. He didn't know or understand his magnetism.
"I imagine it gets lonely up here, sometimes. Especially in the winter, when it snows so much."
"Speaking of which, it is supposed to snow a lot in a couple of days. They are expecting near blizzard conditions. So I will service the car beforehand. And I want you to feel if you have any kind of trouble with the car or with anything else you let me know. I've checked the pipes in the house, they shouldn't freeze up on you, and I put antifreeze in the car, so it won't be a bother but I worry about you in that car." He laid his head back against the couch.
"Oh…don't worry. I'll get the hang of it soon." She tried to relieve his mind. "Now that I've had my first accident, I'm much more cautious."
"If I didn't need my truck I'd let you use that…"
"Oh…no, don't be silly. We'll be all right."
"I'm putting it up for sale on Craig's list. I'll get something a little easier to manage."
"It's your car…"
"No, it was Gina's. She's the one that wanted that dang thing. She liked the way it looked. I'll never understand why women go so much by how something looks." He looked at her now, sitting there, so relaxed in the dim lights. "You know…the girls love you, Annie…" he said softly.
"I know. I love them too." She dared a quick glance at him. His attention was on her now; his eyes stared deep into hers. "I-I know I shouldn't get so attached. Someday you'll remarry and I'll be out of a job and I'll have to leave. Leaving is always so hard. I've never gotten used to it."
"Leave? I'm just getting used to you being here."
"I'm glad we can get along now…" she said softly, not daring to look at him.
"You are quite a lady, Annie…" With that, he reached over and pulled her chin around to face him. Something in his expression should have warned her, but she never thought it would happen again. Suddenly, he leaned over a
nd kissed her.
This kiss was so surprising in every way. His kiss was soft, caressing, and exploratory, as though he had all the time in the world. When his tongue slid against her lips, she sighed and he pulled her gently into his arms. Her response shocked her for even though she let him lead, she felt every fiber of her being melting into him. He tasted her, and the thrill running through her made her open like a flower to him. As natural as breathing, the kiss lingered for long moments.
When he finally released her, she could feel the red hot blush painting her cheeks. No man had ever kissed her like this, as though he enjoyed doing it. She had nothing to compare it to. Like a fish out of water, she was breathlessly still. She hated being naïve. She wished she was more experienced, and knew how to handle such a situation.
"I better go up…goodnight." She practically ran up to the loft.
Why had she allowed it? Why did she enjoy it so much? She knew better. This man loved a ghost of a woman, and nothing would ever change. She knew that. But she couldn't stop the heady kiss, and deep down, she knew she didn't want to.
How could she work for the man, and let him kiss her like that? The kiss was intimate, familiar as though he knew her, and she knew him. But she didn't and she knew she was going to hurt when she left this beautiful haven.
Somehow, someway, she had to get a life for herself. And she had to forget that she was falling in love with Tanka Amory.
Chapter Ten
Two days later, the blizzard hit. Annie tried to remain calm. She just had to drive the kids down the hill a ways so they could catch the bus. She could do this. But the day started all wrong and Annie fought a personal battle within her to not panic. It was only snow, and she had to try her best to get the kids to school. Although, in the back of her mind, she secretly wished the school had closed for the day. Since the snow didn't start until morning, it would be this evening before they would cancel Kasie told her.
"School will be let out early, I'll bet." Katie laughed.
Jewel nodded, a worry wrinkle creasing her young forehead. "I hope so. I got a test tomorrow."
Tara smiled as she let Annie adjust her knit hat. "I'm going to build a snowman at recess. I can't wait."
"You be sure to wear your gloves then, okay?" Annie warned her.
Annie smiled thinking about the fun Tara would have. She'd never built a snowman, just thinking about it made her feel so much younger.
Bundling the girls and herself up, she headed out the door. The wind was blowing and made it feel much colder than it was. She was determined that all would go well. The girls had no idea how nervous she was, laughing and cutting up as they usually did in the mornings it seemed like any other morning. Only Annie had doubts.
She made it to the bus stop without any problems and counted herself lucky. The bus pulled out of the snow filled lane and she watched as it moved along slowly, assuring herself that the girls and Kasie's kids were fine.
She turned up the heat, turned on her wipers to clear the snow off the windshield. Turning the car around she headed for home, feeling confident that she was learning to handle the car. Everything was fine until another car tried to pass her on a narrow ledged part of the road. It was full of teenagers, and they were actually having fun driving in this mess. Surely, they wouldn't try to pass her on this dangerous curve. But they did, and they yelled as they sped by her. Annie had stayed in the deep ruts of the road and when the car finally passed her, it barely hit her in the driver's door, just enough for her to lose control. Losing control was her downfall. On ice, there was no control. Her car spun and lodged itself on the edge of the narrow passageway.
On the other side of her was a deep ravine that would destroy her and the car. Annie's heartbeat quickened. How was she going to get out of here? She couldn't get out and walk, it was too cold, and she'd freeze. And she wasn't sure she could correct the car's direction.
She sat there for a long while, trying to use her head as to how to maneuver out of the mess she was in. She couldn't panic. There were ways of doing this. There had to be. Usually if she used her head, she could figure a way out of any situation.
Now, since the bus had left, the traffic was nil. No one was in sight. No one passed her.
"Of course they aren't, only fools go out on days like this," she cried aloud.
If she could get out of the car, without the car moving, she might have a better chance of just walking home. It couldn't be over five miles back to the house. She was dressed reasonably. She checked her little flashlight in her purse to see if it worked. She tucked her gloves inside her coat, so nothing was exposed except her face.
The snow seemed to shift under her, making the car lean closer to the ravine. "Oh God, I've got to get out of here. This car isn't going to stay on the road…"
She looked up into the snowing heavens. "Dear God, help me! I'm not sure what to do. Sit tight, or get out. But if I get out, the car might go over the ravine and be totaled. How would I ever repay him for that?"
The silence made her heart beat faster if that were possible.
The car was leaning and groaning from the strain of staying upright. But if it gave any more it would tumble down the ravine, and she would die or wish she had.
Surely someone would come along?
But a half hour passed and no one did. She'd been so still, she was stiffening.
She turned the ignition off long ago to save for later. But she wasn't sure later was coming. In a full blown blizzard, and sitting on the ledge of the mountain, doing a balancing act with a car whose weight alone might be the enemy, she decided, she needed to get out and walk.
She looked into her purse; she had half a candy bar, her billfold and her cell phone. She nibbled on the candy bar, and then saved the rest for later.
Of course, she'd have to call Tanka.
She sighed relief as she pulled the phone out and started to dial. The low battery light flashed at her. She dialed as quickly as she could.
Tanka answered on the second ring.
"I'm stranded…" she began.
And the phone went dead.
She didn't know if Tanka heard her, as her voice sounded strange even to herself.
It was panic. Panic was winning and she tried to calm her racing heart. "Did he even hear me?"
She looked at the phone, and slowly put it back in her purse. How could she have been so stupid as to not charge her phone before going out in weather like this? She had prided herself so many times on trying to remember all the little things in an emergency. Now her brain was frozen, she couldn't think straight.
The car shifted again, now leaning to the passenger side of the car. She felt it balance. But if it was balancing, then the wheels were not on ground at all. They were in the air.
"Oh God, what do I do?"
She pounded the steering wheel, admonishing herself for all the mistakes she'd made this morning. But as she did, the car made a loud noise. She moved her hands from the steering wheel. She'd wait a while longer before she moved. Maybe someone would happen along and see her car. She couldn't use the battery right now. She'd wait. But fear gripped her as she realized just how big a fix she was in.
She had no idea the car was smothered in a cloud of snow.
She debated turning on the heater.
She knew she couldn't pull the car back onto the road now. The car was her enemy. She had to get out. But what was out there was as bad as what was in the car. She could freeze to death in this weather. And if Tanka hadn't heard her...
She took several deep breaths.
Tears ran down her cheeks. "I can't die. People need me. I haven't even had a family of my own yet."
The teenagers were long gone, her mind raced, never once looking back to see the damage they inflicted. She couldn't waste her time blaming those kids. Maybe if she turned up dead, they'd realize what they had done. But she didn't wish that kind of punishment on them. No, it was an accident and accidents happen.
She looked aro
und the car, in the backseat there was a ski mask. She could use that if she left the car. Still, leaning toward the back might tip the car. She had to take that chance. She slowly stretched her arm toward the backseat. The car creaked. She sat stone still once more. Fear gripped her.
"I've got to get that mask and get out of here," she yelled, panic now taking hold of her.
With one more try, she felt the mask at her fingertips and pulled gently.
The car creaked and slanted a little more.
She had to get out of here now. It was the only option, for the car was going down that ravine and she'd be killed for sure. At least by walking she might be seen and rescued.
With all her courage in hand, she slowly opened her door that seemed to war with her as she pushed on it. Finally, she had it open. She fell down to the ground and opened her eyes in time to see the car's side hanging in the air, and suddenly it moved, falling away from her, down the ravine. She screamed.
But the silence only echoed her scream. No one was about.
A thousand reprimands danced in her head as she struggled to get the ski mask on. It shielded her face from the cold, only her nose felt frozen, and the hairs in her nose pricked her.
She heard the car crashing against rock and snow and dirt and trees and then a big ball of fire rose up.
She watched, laying there in the road, as the fire reached for the sky. The flames danced in the air.
Horror filled her. But she wasn't dead yet, she determined.
How could this happen in a matter of minutes? One minute she was driving to the bus stop, the next, she was trying to survive.
Panic was the worst thing she could do. She had to use her head. She had to think. It was only about five miles to the house. If she kept a slow steady pace, she could make it.
She glanced at her sensible low heeled boots that were insulated for this kind of weather. They kept her warm, her jeans tucked neatly into them. Her sweater and parka helped shield her from the freezing snow. Tanka had insisted she wear them daily during the winter. Now she was glad of it. At least she wouldn't get frostbite.
Mail Order Nanny (Book 3 of the Amory's) Page 9