She couldn't make sense of the moment.
Chapter Fourteen
Tanka hadn't said another word about the kisses all the way home. He went upstairs to tuck his daughter in, and when he came down Annie had already gone to bed.
Disappointed that he hadn't got to talk to her about it, he laid in bed on the couch thinking about Annie. Maybe he was rushing her. Maybe he scared her. How was he going to maintain the boss and worker relationship and kiss her all the time? How was he going to stop kissing her?
He needed to examine his feelings for her. Were they real or not? Was he falling in love with Annie, the nanny?
He smiled to himself, and closed his eyes.
The next morning however, Chantel was over and occupying his time.
What was Chantel about? He didn't know this lady very well, and he had already decided he didn't want to know her, but she seemed determined to occupy his time. Why bother if she was leaving the next day, he mused as he sat listening to her droll conversation about her high paying job and how well she did it.
The girls excused themselves, and Annie quickly decided to make laundry her priority.
"Do you think we could have dinner tonight, just the two of us? I'm leaving tomorrow and there just isn't much time to get to know each other. And…I have to admit, I'm very attracted to you, which is something that hasn't happened in a long time."
To keep from being rude, Tanka reluctantly agreed after telling her he had some projects he needed to get to, but the woman didn't take the hint.
The girls had come down for a snack. Annie set out fruits and nuts and hurried back to her task. But the girls overheard him accepting, rolled their eyes and went back upstairs without a word.
He could just imagine what they were thinking; they hadn't bothered to hide the fact that they didn't like Chantel. Tanka thought about that, even Kasie didn't like Chantel. That should tell him something.
"I really do need to work on my projects this weekend as I'm not going to have much time after this weekend," he tried to complain.
"Oh but, we haven't even gone on a date yet. We need to have the opportunity to get to know each other. I'd love to return for a visit soon."
Tanka noted her self-confidence and was amazed. The woman thought all men were attracted to her. But he realized in that moment that although Gina had possessed that quality and air of sophistication, once he put Gina where she belonged, he no longer saw women the same way. He was older now and had been through more life lessons and what he discovered and was still discovering about himself was that he sought something entirely different from Gina. Hooking up with a lady like Chantel would be going backwards, not forward.
Over the period of time it took to get over Gina dying, he had learned that a woman didn't have to be model gorgeous, if her soul was beautiful, it would reflect.
Annie had the soul of an angel. He'd tested it in so many ways when she first came. No matter how badly he wanted to think of her, she outdid him at every turn, and she never even knew it.
But how did he tell her and make her believe it so soon? He'd scare her away, he was sure of it.
Later that evening, Chantel had returned in a beautiful sequin dress of red, her hair was impeccable, her make-up flawless, she was a goddess. But Tanka already knew there was a cold interior to Chantel.
He got a whiff of expensive perfume.
As they entered the restaurant, every man turned his head to stare at her. Way over dressed, she put all the other women to shame.
What was he doing? Sitting here in a restaurant having an expensive dinner with a lady he really didn't want to be with, when all he could think about was how he should talk to Annie? And after sitting here he realized it would be even more difficult.
He shouldn't have agreed to go out with Chantel.
His eyes scanned her; she was gorgeous, intelligent, and worldly. If he kissed her she would know exactly how to handle it, and she might even be the aggressor.
He adjusted his tie. Fumbling at it, she glanced at him for a moment and stopped talking.
"You don't like ties, do you?"
"No…I guess I'm pretty obvious." Tanka smiled.
"Take it off, I don't mind," she cooed.
His eyes searched her out. If she could tell him that, she might suggest him taking even more off later. Now he was on the defensive. He hadn't dated anyone since Gina's death and he wasn't good at it either.
He took the tie off and she put it in her purse.
"You haven't been dating much since Gina died, have you?" She glanced sympathetically at him.
"Actually, this is the first."
"I guess it's hard to get back into circulation after something like that," Chantel purred.
Tanka looked into her cold brown eyes; she batted them slowly, seductively, as though speaking volumes to him. But Tanka was already uncomfortable.
He shouldn't be here, his mind told him. But if he stayed home with Annie, he'd be tempted to do something really stupid. There were so many things he wanted to share with Annie now that he had gotten things straight in his mind. However, Annie was so old fashioned, if he rushed her with his feelings, he'd scare her away, and he knew it.
"Tell me, have you ever taken a vacation, since Gina passed away?"
She kept saying that, it grated on his nerves. No one had to remind him that his wife was dead.
"No…I don't have the time for that…"
"Oh…I was thinking maybe we could meet somewhere and sort of enjoy a vacation together. What do you think?"
"I think that it's impossible. Look…Chantel, I'm not out wife hunting. I don't know you very well, but you are certainly not shy about suggesting we 'Get to know one another better'. I want to be honest. This is just a dinner with a friend. I'm not interested in a relationship, right now."
Chantel blushed, but recovered immediately. "I see, well, you certainly laid it on the line for me." She took a sip of white wine and glared at him.
"Should I take you home?" he suggested.
"My car is at your house." She glanced at him seductively.
She shrugged and they left.
Tanka was never so glad to get out of a dinner date in his life. It had been a huge mistake and all he wanted to do was go home.
As he pulled into his driveway, he parked and went around to open her door. But as she let him help her out, she came up close to him.
Her stretch to reach his mouth shocked him. The kiss that she planted on his lips was sultry and hot. He'd been right, she was sophisticated, knowing exactly how to entice a man. Most men. But not him. Years ago, it would have stirred him to passion, but not any longer. She moved her body against him as close as she could and her hands went to his hips to draw him into her. He was shocked and pushed away quickly.
He stared at her with unbelieving eyes.
"By now you should know I'm not interested in dating you, Chantel. You're much too sophisticated for someone like me…"
"What are you talking about?" She threw her head back and stared at him with a laugh. "Gina was full of sophistication, and you loved her to distraction."
"Chantel, you didn't know my wife, and you know even less of me. Have Kasie take you to the airport tomorrow, I'm busy." He directed her to her car, opened the door and waited for her to get in.
But she paused again. "Don't tell me that kiss didn't affect you," she purred.
She got behind the wheel and slammed her door.
She jerked her car into drive and slammed her foot on the gas. He watched her drive away as she shot him the finger.
"It didn't affect me a bit…" he murmured to himself.
Just as he was going into the house though, he saw Annie staring out the window. She pretended to be interested in the weather, but he knew she saw them. Now how was he ever going to explain that? What woman would ever believe that a man pushed a seductress away from him?
That night he lay there on the couch trying to figure out how to explain himself,
and not succeeding.
It would take time to heal this…he knew it. And that's what he and Annie needed, time. But in his mind he knew he'd give anything if he had taken Annie to dinner instead. It certainly would have turned out differently.
He might be holding her right now in front of the fire and telling her what a wonderful woman she really was.
Chapter Fifteen
Annie tried to pretend all was well, but there were dark spots under her eyes, and the strain of acting normal was quickly getting to her.
How could Tanka kiss her silly one night then take another woman out the very next day? He'd just gotten over his wife being dead. Was he honestly that insincere?
She wouldn't dwell on it. After all, she did have a job here and that meant everything to her.
She smiled, said all the right things and acted as though nothing were different, but she made a silent pact with herself that he wouldn't be kissing her any longer.
The girls weren't quite as nice though.
Sunday was a very silent day, and Annie wondered why he wasn't seeing Chantel off to the airport, but she'd die before she asked him.
She prepared a pot roast that evening and as they all sat at the dinner table, the girls were silent. She had to break the tension, so she opened the conversation, being sure to include all the girls.
"Have you girls done your homework?" Annie asked as she dished Tara some roast.
"Yes ma'am. We did it Saturday," Katie said and glared at her father.
"I thought you had a project, Jewel?" Annie glanced at her with a smile.
"I still got a little to do. I've got to build a castle," Jewel announced.
"I'd be glad to help you with that, honey," Tanka offered.
Jewel shrugged.
"We'll start on it as soon as we're finished here…" Tanka offered.
Jewel barely looked at him.
Katie stood up. "Can I be excused?"
Tanka noticed her full plate. "Aren't you going to eat?"
"I'm not really hungry."
Annie nodded.
Katie ran up the stairs, with a faint cry to her lips.
"Tara, are you still going to have that puppet show this week at school?" Annie questioned, trying to stir the conversation in a different direction.
"Yeah…I guess."
Annie glanced at Tanka.
"I'd like to see it," Tanka said staring at his youngest.
She put her hand on her head and shrugged. "Then come to the school at one o'clock. I don't know why you are so interested; you never come to my school," she protested.
"I attend a PTA meeting there every month. I speak to your teacher every so often. How can you say that?"
"Can I be excused?" Tara frowned.
Her father nodded.
Unable to change the mood, Annie got up and began putting the dishes away.
Jewel followed Tanka to the garage. Tanka turned on the heater and in a few minutes it was warm there. He began to help her plan out her project.
They spent a couple of hours out there and Jewel began to come around a little, although the conversation was scant.
"Daddy, did you love Mama?" Jewel asked.
Tanka stopped what he was doing when he saw the raw question in her eyes. "What did you say?"
"I said, did you love Mama?" Jewel eyed him keenly.
"Of course I loved your mother, how can you ask such a thing?"
"Are you in love with Chantel?" she asked as she picked a piece of the castle up and put some glue on it.
"Not hardly…" Tanka frowned at her.
"Then why did you take her out?" Jewel insisted.
He stopped everything and turned his full attention on his daughter.
"Honey, Chantel is one of those pushy kind of women that doesn't take no for an answer. Rather than be rude, I took her out. I mean, what was the harm? She was leaving the next day anyway."
"But you haven't taken anyone else out. Why her? Why did she have to be the first?"
He took her by the shoulders and looked deep into her young and beautiful eyes. "There is nothing for you to worry about, honey. I'm not in love with her. I have nothing in common with her. I will not take her out again, and told her so. Is this why I've gotten the silent treatment tonight at the dinner table?"
"But you kissed her…" Jewel cried out. "Why did you kiss her if you don't feel anything for her?"
Tanka frowned. "You saw that?"
Jewel nodded.
"I didn't kiss her. She kissed me."
"Your tie was in her purse, it was sticking out when she got out of the car," Jewel insisted.
Tanka frowned. "You all saw that?"
"All of us."
"Well, honey, I was sitting in a restaurant and jerking on my tie every minute and Chantel insisted I take it off. So I did. She put it in her purse…"
"You didn't like…make-out with her in the car or something?" Jewel asked and backed away when she saw the huge frown on his face.
"I certainly did not. If you watched you would know that I got out of the car as soon as we arrived and showed her to her car. And since when do you go asking those kinds of questions?"
"After you kissed her," Jewel corrected.
Tanka wanted to scream but knew this was not the right time nor place to do so. He loved his girls and it was obvious they got the wrong idea. His girls had always trusted what he told them. To think they questioned his integrity hurt.
"I didn't kiss her!" he said adamantly.
"Okay, she kissed you, then…"Jewel corrected with a gulp.
"A man has a responsibility to be a gentleman with a lady. She kissed me, Jewel. What was I to do, throw her down in the snow?"
"Why not, she's a vamp…" Jewel shouted.
"How would you know what a vamp is?" He made an unbelievable face.
"She thinks you're hot…"
"I can't believe you and I are discussing this. You are not old enough to know about these things. I don't ever want to hear anything like that come out of your mouth again, young lady. And I have no idea what she thinks…"
Jewel nodded. "Sorry. But Daddy, let's face it. You haven't been out with a woman in a long time, and things have changed a lot. Women chase men now. They are much more aggressive and you have to be prepared."
Tanka stared at his daughter for a long moment, his face screwing up and then a light went off in his head and he nodded.
"You're absolutely right. Trust you to be the one to set me straight. I haven't dated since…your mom." He smiled with understanding. "Thanks for taking the time to talk to me about this."
"You're not mad?" She twisted her head and stared into his eyes.
"No, I’m not mad. I just can't believe my daughter is more hip than I am about these things." He chuckled.
"Somebody around here has to be. Mama always said I spoke my mind…"
Tanka smiled sadly at her now and pulled her to him to give her a big hug. "She was so right," he muttered as he kissed her head. "Now, can we finish this up, soon?"
"Yeah, it's looking pretty good, Daddy. Thanks for the help." Jewel seemed satisfied now and Tanka was relieved knowing she would spread the word to her sisters.
"Why don't you hit the sack, and I'll finish up so you can take it to school tomorrow…?"
"Thanks. Goodnight Daddy, and hey….I love you…"
"I love you too, pumpkin," he called as she left.
He stayed up way into the night, putting more detail to the castle. It pleased him greatly to finish it off and make it look so special. He turned the light out and went to bed.
***
The next day, Annie took the kids to the bus stop and then stopped off at Kasie's.
She wasn't about to bring Chantel up, it was all too embarrassing. But maybe Kasie would say something about it too.
"So, I heard you and Tanka chaperoned Katie's dance, how did that go?" Kasie asked.
"Fine. Katie was so shy about Noah, especially with her father there,
but she finally began to relax and I think they really enjoyed it. Even the music…" Annie smiled.
"And did Tanka ask you to dance?" Kasie quizzed.
"Oh, sure. We danced several dances, to get the kids loosened up. Until we did, they just huddled in corners not doing anything."
"Yeah, I remember that with D.J. I liked to have never convinced him that he had to ask the girl to dance."
They both chuckled. "Can you remember back that far yourself? I remember I was mortified when a boy asked me to dance. I didn't know how. But come to find out, neither did he."
Kasie was clearly not going to say anything about Chantel. Annie's heart plummeted. She'd so hoped she would. She needed insight.
Kasie offered her some coffee and they sat down at her kitchen table. Annie fingered her cup for a long moment, noting that she used her finest china.
"I think Tanka is coming out of his shell…" Kasie smiled at her when she became too quiet.
"He says he has…" Annie nodded. "And I think he has because he took Chantel out to dinner the other night. It's good to see him go out and enjoy himself with someone he can relate to."
Annie hadn't wanted to blurt it out, but it came out so naturally she couldn't stop herself.
"Relate to? No one relates to Chantel. She's so into herself, she doesn't know others exist. But…little good it did her…" Kasie sighed heavily.
"What do you mean?" Annie glanced up at her in surprise.
"I mean…she came home so mad that night I thought she was going to plow that Mercedes into the house. Slamming doors, cursing, I've never seen her so mad."
"Mad? Why?"
"You don't know…you haven't heard?" Kasie's brows knitted together.
"Know what?" Annie didn't want to sound too interested.
"She said Tanka was a bear all night, kissing her and fondling her all night long. She said she had to insist he take her home." Kasie rolled her eyes.
Annie blushed, unable to put Tanka in that category of men who abused or was selfless.
Mail Order Nanny (Book 3 of the Amory's) Page 13